RockTurtle
Member
"we need to talk...
i won the lotto and i have been mulling asking you to spend the rest of my life with you"
'We need to talk'
- Thread starter Theecliff
- Start date
- Status
"we need to talk...
i won the lotto and i have been mulling asking you to spend the rest of my life with you"
texhnolyze
Banned
Truer words have never been spoken.
WAR recon zero
Banned
If you are cold send a text saying: no need to talk. Are we done?
If you want to save a relationship go and talk. Be calm. And be certain of one thing
Many
Fish
On
The
Sea
It will hurt and sting but it's a natural course.
If you want to save a relationship go and talk. Be calm. And be certain of one thing
Many
Fish
On
The
Sea
It will hurt and sting but it's a natural course.
blastprocessor
The Amiga Brotherhood
Break up with her first and do it via text "It's over babe". End of, move on, you're young.
John Kowalski
Banned
I hope it's not HIV.
evil solrac v3.0
Member
come on man, hurry and update I gotta go to sleep! how selfish are you? maybe why this girl wants to break up with you. did you ever think about that? huh? about your thread updating abilities?
Ben Morales
Member
Don't leave us hanging man...
blankempathy
Member
It was probably nothing. Op we need to talk. About your thread updating abilities.
she broke up with me
talked over the phone after i got back from holiday. she explained that over the past few weeks she's realised that she's normally quite a different person than she was during the last few months of university with exams etc. and as a result realised how different we were. she said she did really like me and that she enjoyed the time together, but felt like it wouldn't work in the long term, that whereas i'm quite laid back she needed someone more proactive. i can't really argue with that.
she felt like whilst it wasn't a perfect way to tell someone, she ought to break up with me over phone instead of coming up and being more distant than usual.
she apologised for everything and we chatted for a bit. ngl, had tears in my eyes and i felt pretty upset during the conversation, but i can't blame her. it just felt so sudden for me.
even tho she recognised it as horrendously cliched she wants me to stay in touch and hopefully remain friends but she won't push it if i don't want to and will wait for me to get in contact first. i know a lot of people here would recommend against it but i think i'd like that. i don't resent her for this decision, i'm not angry at her. even though we're not in a relationship anymore i still know she's an incredibly nice girl and she didn't do this on purpose to spite me.
and hell, even if i didn't want to remain friends, she'd be hard to avoid - this next uni year we live quite near (again), she's on the same course as me as well as on a same unit, and since meeting her friendship groups have overlapped.
so yeah
i was quite upset because i really did like this girl and felt that this was all pretty sudden, but i totally understand and can't blame her for feeling like that. in the end i think i wouldn't have wanted her to be in a relationship with me if she was totally uncertain about it all.
you happy now gaf? ;P
talked over the phone after i got back from holiday. she explained that over the past few weeks she's realised that she's normally quite a different person than she was during the last few months of university with exams etc. and as a result realised how different we were. she said she did really like me and that she enjoyed the time together, but felt like it wouldn't work in the long term, that whereas i'm quite laid back she needed someone more proactive. i can't really argue with that.
she felt like whilst it wasn't a perfect way to tell someone, she ought to break up with me over phone instead of coming up and being more distant than usual.
she apologised for everything and we chatted for a bit. ngl, had tears in my eyes and i felt pretty upset during the conversation, but i can't blame her. it just felt so sudden for me.
even tho she recognised it as horrendously cliched she wants me to stay in touch and hopefully remain friends but she won't push it if i don't want to and will wait for me to get in contact first. i know a lot of people here would recommend against it but i think i'd like that. i don't resent her for this decision, i'm not angry at her. even though we're not in a relationship anymore i still know she's an incredibly nice girl and she didn't do this on purpose to spite me.
and hell, even if i didn't want to remain friends, she'd be hard to avoid - this next uni year we live quite near (again), she's on the same course as me as well as on a same unit, and since meeting her friendship groups have overlapped.
so yeah
i was quite upset because i really did like this girl and felt that this was all pretty sudden, but i totally understand and can't blame her for feeling like that. in the end i think i wouldn't have wanted her to be in a relationship with me if she was totally uncertain about it all.
it's meta commentary man
i didn't really want to make a post in here as an instant, emotionally charged reaction to her breaking up with me on Thursday, would have been a bad idea. so i left this for a bit. i met up with some college friends last night and we went for a meal and then into town. drank copious amounts of alcohol, had a good time. it was good to take my mind off things
you happy now gaf? ;P
Messypandas
Member
Yeah I would have done this too. Dropping the code and then not elaborating for several days to let you stir in your misery is just wrong. Last time I got the message over a text I actually packed her stuff ready for our chat. But in that case I knew it wasn't worth salvaging anyway. She should have phoned then and there and talked about whats up, not left you hanging like this. I'm sorry op but it sounds like you already know whats up.
Wind's Howling
Member
Sorry to hear that, OP. It does kind of soften the blow by knowing what would most likely happen. Just do not stay ''friends'' with her. It is not going to work.
You always have feelings for her, and these feelings will make it even harder for you the moment you hear from her that she is dating someone else because you will probably hang on to the hope that you will get back together, and that there's 99.9% probability that that will never happen. By staying 'friends' you will also ruin your own life by not remaining open for others. Live your life. The next 4-5 weeks are going to be tough, but after that phase everything is going to get better and you will eventually find someone who has the same taste as you.
Best of luck. In a few weeks/months from now you will be laughing at this situation.
You always have feelings for her, and these feelings will make it even harder for you the moment you hear from her that she is dating someone else because you will probably hang on to the hope that you will get back together, and that there's 99.9% probability that that will never happen. By staying 'friends' you will also ruin your own life by not remaining open for others. Live your life. The next 4-5 weeks are going to be tough, but after that phase everything is going to get better and you will eventually find someone who has the same taste as you.
Best of luck. In a few weeks/months from now you will be laughing at this situation.
Wind's Howling
Member
John Kowalski
Banned
Yes i'm happy. Thanks.
ViewtifulJC
Banned
LMAO
True Savior
Member
Dude that's just life. I'm sorry. Hearing a No from a girl who doesnt know you means nothing (at least time helped me with that) , but hearing No (as in , a breakup) from a girl you go to know , get involved and rejected after because of how you are its hard as fuck. Don't be mad at her. Don't be mad at yourself. Dont change to accommodate to others (as in change the person you are).
There's more fish in the pond. And you only need to find that one great person who likes you for who you are.
The friends thing...i'm not the best person to advice you on that. Do whatever you feel is right.
There's more fish in the pond. And you only need to find that one great person who likes you for who you are.
The friends thing...i'm not the best person to advice you on that. Do whatever you feel is right.
Juke Joint Jezebel
Member
Wait, what? She wanted to wait for you to come back from holiday to talk to you about it, and then she just told you over the phone anyway?
Huh? That seems a tad redundant!
Sorry to hear it though OP. Still, there's billions of other women out there, let the adventure begin!
Screaming Meat
Unconfirmed Member
...or "I'm pregnant. Dunno whose."
BibiMaghoo
Member
So much this. Sorry OP.
she broke up with me
talked over the phone after i got back from holiday. she explained that over the past few weeks she's realised that she's normally quite a different person than she was during the last few months of university with exams etc. and as a result realised how different we were. she said she did really like me and that she enjoyed the time together, but felt like it wouldn't work in the long term, that whereas i'm quite laid back she needed someone more proactive. i can't really argue with that.
she felt like whilst it wasn't a perfect way to tell someone, she ought to break up with me over phone instead of coming up and being more distant than usual.
she apologised for everything and we chatted for a bit. ngl, had tears in my eyes and i felt pretty upset during the conversation, but i can't blame her. it just felt so sudden for me.
even tho she recognised it as horrendously cliched she wants me to stay in touch and hopefully remain friends but she won't push it if i don't want to and will wait for me to get in contact first. i know a lot of people here would recommend against it but i think i'd like that. i don't resent her for this decision, i'm not angry at her. even though we're not in a relationship anymore i still know she's an incredibly nice girl and she didn't do this on purpose to spite me.
and hell, even if i didn't want to remain friends, she'd be hard to avoid - this next uni year we live quite near (again), she's on the same course as me as well as on a same unit, and since meeting her friendship groups have overlapped.
so yeah
i was quite upset because i really did like this girl and felt that this was all pretty sudden, but i totally understand and can't blame her for feeling like that. in the end i think i wouldn't have wanted her to be in a relationship with me if she was totally uncertain about it all.
it's meta commentary man
i didn't really want to make a post in here as an instant, emotionally charged reaction to her breaking up with me on Thursday, would have been a bad idea. so i left this for a bit. i met up with some college friends last night and we went for a meal and then into town. drank copious amounts of alcohol, had a good time. it was good to take my mind off things
you happy now gaf? ;P
Very reasonable response and sentiment dude. Sorry it didn't work out, but as you've implied, it's for the best. You want someone completely committed to the relationship after all. Now on to better pastures!
-ImaginaryInsider
Member
I'm glad she didn't string you along or play games because she was too scared to breakup, as much as it sucks, both of you acted respectfully of each other's feelings, and that's the best you can hope for.
Just try not to be surprised by what happens next, whether it's her breaking her promise and contacting you a few months from now, or her showing up with a new bf next week, focus on healing and give yourself plenty of space and time to do that in.
Just try not to be surprised by what happens next, whether it's her breaking her promise and contacting you a few months from now, or her showing up with a new bf next week, focus on healing and give yourself plenty of space and time to do that in.
ssj5krillhan
Member
If she is thinking that she wants someone proactive, she most likely has found someone else & found those qualities in them that you don't have. She wants you to stay in touch so she doesn't feel guilty. If she needed to talk to you without telling you at that moment what it was, she's comfortable in keeping things from you as well. Don't remain friends, keep it civil but that's it. Work on yourself & buff up. Sorry this happened man, take care OP.
Pretty much this OP, this is good advice. This thread has made me feel all kinds of shit personally because one of the scenarios listed(She found new dick) almost happened to me a few days ago...and I would have been the bad guy. Got drunk with a longtime friend, we all but admit that circumstance is the only reason we haven't gotten together, drunkenly make out, I pass out drunk and more doesn't happen, thank god. She's got a BF back in college who's an Earthbound fan and a Kendrick-stan. I could never fuck someone over that I'd consider one of my broest of bros if we were to meet in person. We're tentatively okay. I just hope I don't lose a friend.
Sorry for hijacking your thread OP.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
Wellthereitis.gif
Yep. That's some TV show bullshit right there.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Come on, guys. Maybe she didn't find a new guy, and just wanted to break it off with the op.........
.....
...
..
.
.....
...
..
.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I always tell myself this, but always fail, until time heals.
it's kinda the other way around haha. even around exams i was quite laid back. our course was one of the first to finish exams as well, so we had more than a month just to fuck around and go out regularly without any pressure - i probably should have made that part clearer. on the phone she told me she's usually more focused on work and generally less laid back than she was around me, hence why she grew concern that we weren't going to mesh in the long term.
saw that thread before and thought it was a funny coincidence, haha
sorry for bumping this thread gaf, just want to vent a little
i haven't really been thinking about any of this recently, been under quite a bit of pressure right now to get a lot of work done. that was until like ten minutes ago, when i saw a picture of her on snapchat from a friend of her's story, and feelings hit me hard. now i'm having a hard time not thinking about things, and as per my usual emotional response i've found some alcohol and I'm sat here drinking on my own again.
and up until now i was thinking getting over had been going well. ha! now i'm thinking a bunch of crap like 'well maybe if i've changed enough surely she'll want to be with me again' and the likes. ugh, i don't want to be in this place again. god damn why has this triggered me so much
i haven't really been thinking about any of this recently, been under quite a bit of pressure right now to get a lot of work done. that was until like ten minutes ago, when i saw a picture of her on snapchat from a friend of her's story, and feelings hit me hard. now i'm having a hard time not thinking about things, and as per my usual emotional response i've found some alcohol and I'm sat here drinking on my own again.
and up until now i was thinking getting over had been going well. ha! now i'm thinking a bunch of crap like 'well maybe if i've changed enough surely she'll want to be with me again' and the likes. ugh, i don't want to be in this place again. god damn why has this triggered me so much
sorry for bumping this thread gaf, just want to vent a little
i haven't really been thinking about any of this recently, been under quite a bit of pressure right now to get a lot of work done. that was until like ten minutes ago, when i saw a picture of her on snapchat from a friend of her's story, and feelings hit me hard. now i'm having a hard time not thinking about things, and as per my usual emotional response i've found some alcohol and I'm sat here drinking on my own again.
and up until now i was thinking getting over had been going well. ha! now i'm thinking a bunch of crap like 'well maybe if i've changed enough surely she'll want to be with me again' and the likes. ugh, i don't want to be in this place again. god damn why has this triggered me so much
This is pretty typical. Getting over a break up isn't a continuous downward slope until you're over it, it's full of ups an downs but will eventually get to the "being over it" part.
Mammoth Jones
Member
sorry for bumping this thread gaf, just want to vent a little
i haven't really been thinking about any of this recently, been under quite a bit of pressure right now to get a lot of work done. that was until like ten minutes ago, when i saw a picture of her on snapchat from a friend of her's story, and feelings hit me hard. now i'm having a hard time not thinking about things, and as per my usual emotional response i've found some alcohol and I'm sat here drinking on my own again.
and up until now i was thinking getting over had been going well. ha! now i'm thinking a bunch of crap like 'well maybe if i've changed enough surely she'll want to be with me again' and the likes. ugh, i don't want to be in this place again. god damn why has this triggered me so much
get off social media until the wound heals completely. Don't need to see her all happy and smiling and you still thinking about being with her.
WhateverItTakes
Banned
It's alright man. I had a relationship end last week. At the time I was pretty sure it was for the best, then doubt started to creep in. Just try and do stuff, dont dwell, and look at the positives that there's not another person your semi-responsible for in life.
Josh with a J
Member
At least she doesn't send you snaps everyday of her flicking you off lol
- Status