Support NeoGAF

[Stouffers]

We’ve all done shitty things when we were kids. We’ve all stolen that roll of quarters off grandma’s kitchen counter, shaved our initials in the dog, or chunked that kid’s box of Magic the Gathering cards out the bus window, but what’s that one thing you did as a child that keeps coming back to you?

For me it what something I did my freshman year in Highschool. My neighborhood growing up had a swimming pool and members were able to reserve it during the evenings for parties, birthdays, etc. We had a circle of friends in the neighborhood both male and female. I had learned that one of the girls was having her birthday party at the pool, but for some reason, I had not received an invite. Everyone else in the group had been asked, but I was left out.

The afternoon of the party, when they closed the pool to everyone to prep for the evening, I threw a bunch of dog shit over the fence and into the water. Right before the party and after everyone had arrived, the Lifeguard noticed the shit and had to shutdown the pool for the night. They had to move everything into the clubhouse. The next day, she asked why I wasn’t at the party. Apparently one of my friends was supposed to pass along my invite but forgot.

 

[MaestroMike]

broke my living room window with a basketball and blamed it on my dog to my mother (i think she believed the story). 2 or 3 months later my little sister ratted me out cuz she was pissed at me for something

 

[Richard Packer]

I'd share, but I'm worried minus dick Papa will save it in his Google doc and use it to insult me in the summer.

 

[Kenpachii]

Had fireworks, saw some wooden shed and though would be cool to see the fire effects inside of it, but didn't realize that shed was of wood ( dump as a rock basically ) and ended up lightning it up. we did put it out before it got out of control tho. ( yea was there with 3 friends ).

Another thing was throw a dart into my sister forehead. Didn't really aimed for it she just jumped in front of it and it stuck in there. So yea that didn't leave my brain through all those years. ( was like 9 years old or something i guess )

 

[Stouffers]

I'd share, but I'm worried minus dick Papa will save it in his Google doc and use it to insult me in the summer.

His insults are just the result of his inability to express how he really feels about you. This is the beginning of your story together.

 

[TaySan]

Hanged out with the wrong crowd in middle school and stole video games. We all got caught and that was the end of that.

 

[haxan7]

• Got a kid in trouble and possibly from removed from elementary school by lying and saying he brought a playboy into school. He left the school after that, I remember thinking it was because of me but might have been unrelated.
• Tricked my baby brother into sticking a key in an electrical outlet (he was 1 or 2, and he had some strange growth form on his thumb because of it).

 

[Nealand Liquor]

When I was 10 I got an air rifle and was fucking around in this rock quarry just shooting targets and whatever being a 10 yr old. So annnnnyway I'm getting bored when I spot something like 15-20 birds perched up on a powerline that were pretty far away and wonder if I could hit them. I could.
It wasn't until I wandered over and saw all the dead (and mostly dead) birds laying every-fucking-where that the gravity of what I just did hit me. I was fucking crushed. I felt evil and wanted to turn back time. For the next 20 minutes I sat in the field and cried.

 

[AnotherOne]

Skipped school to play video games

 

[Elitist1945]

Threw scissors across the room not realizing my friend was there and the point of the scissors hit him a cm to the side of his eye.

My ass got quit a whooping from my parents when they found out.

 

[GobbledeeGoo]

I broke into my neighbor's house and just sort of looked around. As soon as I left, which was like 20 minutes, I realized how stupid what I had done was.

 

[MetalAlien]

We pulled a Wayne's World and snuck onto an airport to watch the planes land. The fence was too far away so we were sitting behind the runway markers. It was a different time.

 

[V4skunk]

We pulled a Wayne's World and snuck onto an airport to watch the planes land. The fence was too far away so we were sitting behind the runway markers. It was a different time.

The leftist fuckers ruined everything. The young will never experience what we grew up with in the 80's.

 

[JohnHornbuckle]

When I was 10 I got an air rifle and was fucking around in this rock quarry just shooting targets and whatever being a 10 yr old. So annnnnyway I'm getting bored when I spot something like 15-20 birds perched up on a powerline that were pretty far away and wonder if I could hit them. I could.
It wasn't until I wandered over and saw all the dead (and mostly dead) birds laying every-fucking-where that the gravity of what I just did hit me. I was fucking crushed. I felt evil and wanted to turn back time. For the next 20 minutes I sat in the field and cried.

Haha....I did almost this same thing with a BB gun when I was 10 but it was only one bird. I actually aimed at it because it was far enough away that I was sure I would miss it. I felt so bad when I saw it drop from the tree.

 

[Cato]

12. Lived in the middle of nowhere.
Found very old chemistry book in the small school library.
Me and friends spent the next few summers making nitro-cellulose and blowing things up at the abandoned landfill in the middle of the forest.

Was great fun but incredibly dangerous. By luck we managed to not lose any fingers, limbs.


Not me but my best friend. We were about 9 years old or so.
I don't know why but one day he skipped the school bus and instead took the front load digger to school.
(where I grew up it was normal that young children had to help work on the farm. since you don't have any real strength at that age, your job is to drive the tractor, dump truck, front load digger, etc.)
We took turns riding in the scoop and he drove us round and round the school house until the teachers showed up for work and freaked out.
Was awesome.

 

[Captain Zyrain]

As a kid.. Sometime in elementary school a friend and I threw rocks over a school fence at some cars parked below. I think we cracked some windshields. We got in trouble and my Dad took me to the police station and said he'd leave me there next time. I wised up and didn't do it again lol

 

[Macapala]

I scared the shit out of my mum by picking up a baby King Brown snake and asking her, "What's this?".

She's been terrified of snakes ever since.

 

[MetalAlien]

The leftist fuckers ruined everything. The young will never experience what we grew up with in the 80's.

We used to make our own fireworks too. FBI would break your damn door down today.

 

[Macapala]

Skipped school to play video games

Watch out guys we've got a motherfuckin' bad ass here!

 

[haxan7]

Remembered another one.

when I was 4 or 5 I took my plastic sword and chopped it all around in poison ivy and then went and did a play attack on my mom with it. She was pregnant with my brother and the poison ivy caused complications in her pregnancy.

obviously I had no idea what I was doing but it was still pretty bad.

 

[Macapala]

Remembered another one.

when I was 4 or 5 I took my plastic sword and chopped it all around in poison ivy and then went and did a play attack on my mom with it. She was pregnant with my brother and the poison ivy caused complications in her pregnancy.

obviously I had no idea what I was doing but it was still pretty bad.

Seriously man, are you trying to kill your brother?


















Cause if you are I'm more than happy to help.

 

[haxan7]

Seriously man, are you trying to kill your brother?


















Cause if you are I'm more than happy to help.

I just want him to get a job at this point

 

[Constant Flux]

I didn’t really do anything that bad. I guess I stole some stuff like a PS1 memory card, some Pokémon cards, and a Vince McMahon action figure which I later returned to the store and left it in on top of the other toys because I felt guilty about taking it.

 

[PanzerAzel]

A lot of things, but the worst: used to beat the family dog to take out my frustrations from being bullied in Jr. Highschool. Not a few light smacks either but severely. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I did to that dog, it was cowardly and evil and I don’t even like to think about it. I despise animal abusers today because of it.

I suppose the only upside is I’ve resolved to treat every animal I’ve ever met since with incredible care, love and respect. It won’t nearly be enough, but it’s a way for me to feel I’m trying to make amends. Every single animal I see, I see Ipo in.

 

[MetalAlien]

Remembered another one.

when I was 4 or 5 I took my plastic sword and chopped it all around in poison ivy and then went and did a play attack on my mom with it. She was pregnant with my brother and the poison ivy caused complications in her pregnancy.

obviously I had no idea what I was doing but it was still pretty bad.

Damn hax you were a force of nature!

 

[Macapala]

A lot of things, but the worst: used to beat the family dog to take out my frustrations from being bullied in Jr. Highschool. Not a few light smacks either but severely. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I did to that dog, it was cowardly and evil and I don’t even like to think about it. I despise animal abusers today because of it.

I suppose the only upside is I’ve resolved to treat every animal I’ve ever met since with incredible care, love and respect. It won’t nearly be enough, but it’s a way for me to feel I’m trying to make amends. Every single animal I see, I see Ipo in.

Jesus fucking Christ mate!?!? I know it sucks getting bullied but beating up a helpless animal.... fuck....

 

[slugbahr]

I just want him to get a job at this point

Crash test dummy?

 

[Constant Flux]

A lot of things, but the worst: used to beat the family dog to take out my frustrations from being bullied in Jr. Highschool. Not a few light smacks either but severely. I’ll never be able to forgive myself for what I did to that dog, it was cowardly and evil and I don’t even like to think about it. I despise animal abusers today because of it.

I suppose the only upside is I’ve resolved to treat every animal I’ve ever met since with incredible care, love and respect. It won’t nearly be enough, but it’s a way for me to feel I’m trying to make amends. Every single animal I see, I see Ipo in.

You shouldn’t be able to forgive yourself for doing that. It’s fucking disgusting to do that to a helpless animal.

 

[DragoonKain]

The house adjacent to my friends house(if you hopped his back yard fence to the street parallel to our street) there was these neighbors that nobody knew. Everyone back then in neighboring streets kinds knew everyone, but for some reason no one knew these neighbors. They had an above ground pool in their back yard, like a 5 foot one. We were silly goofball troublemaker kids so we would go out into the middle of our street and chuck stuff all the way over my friends house past his back yard and see if we could get the stuff into their pool in the adjacent yard as a game. We did this during the winter so they wouldn’t be using it and likely didn’t notice since no one went back to check on it.

We used to chuck expired yogurts, expired fruit, golf balls baseballs, bouncy balls. Pretty much anything. Their yard was polluted with so much shit because we missed most of them since we threw stuff blindly from so far away but some stuff we would get in the pool. And they never complained or did anything. Then one day my friend went nuts and got pissed because one of the days we missed the pool with everything we threw that day so he ripped an old tree stump out of the ground and threw it in the pool... not from all the way into the street obviously, from right over the fence it was too heavy. A few weeks later we went back to do it again and noticed the pool was gone from their yard. We just assumed we tore the lining in the pool and destroyed it so they removed it. We never heard from the neighbors and kinda just moved on with our lives, but yeah we destroyed their pool to play a game for our entertainment it was an asshole thing to do.


The second thing is this ice cream shop opened up and it has really expensive ice cream and since we were idiot kids that really pissed us off. Like it was $13 I think for a sundae it was ridiculous. So my friend had the brilliant idea to use this really high powered sling shot to launch a rock through their window. So we waited until they closed and it was dark and did it and we heard a loud crash and an alarm went off and we booked it out of there. I didn’t shoot the rock, my friend did, but still I was there. We never got in trouble and never went back to the scene of the crime.

 

[Kadayi]

 

[BadBurger]

I killed a pigeon. I shot her in the head with a pellet gun. I honestly didn't mean to. I was trying to scare her off because animals had been eating my mother's vegetables from her garden. So I thought I'd bounce round off the fence. Ended up shooting her in the head.

 

[plushyp]

• Got a kid in trouble and possibly from removed from elementary school by lying and saying he brought a playboy into school. He left the school after that, I remember thinking it was because of me but might have been unrelated.
• Tricked my baby brother into sticking a key in an electrical outlet (he was 1 or 2, and he had some strange growth form on his thumb because of it).

Remembered another one.

when I was 4 or 5 I took my plastic sword and chopped it all around in poison ivy and then went and did a play attack on my mom with it. She was pregnant with my brother and the poison ivy caused complications in her pregnancy.

obviously I had no idea what I was doing but it was still pretty bad.

You sound like the evil kid played by Macaulay Culkin in The Good Son.

 

[PanzerAzel]

Jesus fucking Christ mate!?!? I know it sucks getting bullied but beating up a helpless animal.... fuck....

I know, there’s no excuse. Never again.

 

[matt360]

Semi-intentionally, I knocked a toddler out with a golf ball. It was at a putt putt golf place, and I jokingly asked my friend how much money he'd give me if I could hit the kid. They were really fucking far away so I never actually thought that kid or any of his family members were in any real danger. I lined up my shot and let her rip, and the kid just drops. The kid's father spots me and my friends, and we just drop our clubs and bolt. Hopped the fence, into my car, and we're outta there. No idea if the kid was ok or not, and I'll feel like shit forever because of it.

 

[MiyazakiHatesKojima]

• Got a kid in trouble and possibly from removed from elementary school by lying and saying he brought a playboy into school. He left the school after that, I remember thinking it was because of me but might have been unrelated.
• Tricked my baby brother into sticking a key in an electrical outlet (he was 1 or 2, and he had some strange growth form on his thumb because of it).

Yeah, you're definitely going to Hell.

 

[Berserking Guts]

When I was about 7 or 8 I climbed up a slide, took my pants down, and pissed on an old couples head from above.

 

[ScarletSpider]

Hid tests/homework with bad grades under furniture

 

[MilkyJoe]

In third grade I cheated on my history exam.
In fourth grade I stole my Uncle Max's toupe and I glued it on my face when I played Moses in my Hebrew school play.
In fifth grade I knocked my sister Edith down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...
But the worst thing I ever done, I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theatre, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony, and then, then I made a noise like this. Huagh. Huagh. Huagh. Huaaah! And, and then I dumped it over the side on all the people in the audience. Then, th-then then this was horrible, all the people started getting sick, and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

 

[EightBit Man]

Terrorizing our neighbors from time to time - for no reason at all.

Selling fake lottery tickets to a former football player.

Disabling (read: burning) the electric fencing together with a friend of mine of a person we both didn't like.

Yeah, I wasn't a nice person back in the day.

 

[Whitecrow]

There was a festival at my town. I was eating one of those chocolate-covered ice-cream (sorry I dont know the english name), and when I ate all the chocolate cover, I just throw the rest as far as I could (I still fkn dont know why), aaaaand it landed in a girls forehead.

I still feel so bad after more than 20 years.

 

[DeceptiveAlarm]

Heroin.

 

[GymWolf]

I was a nasty kid...

I stolen money from my grandma purse to buy stuff.

I toke a shit on an underground garage at my friend house because his fucking aggressive 60kg dog was free in the house and his mother was not capable of chain and secure him, so my choice was taking a shit elsewhere or risking a byte from a giant dog, no need to say that i chose the first one...

I put salt on my sleepy friend's dick because he was being an asshole during camping (he also lost a bet and never pay me or my other friends)

I steal a michelangelo keychain from a toy store

I probably never did a math problem or exercise at home, always copied from other friends.

During my years of studying judo, i always tried to be coupled with people lighter than me to better slam them on the mat.

I instinctively punched my school friend in the mouth causing bleeding from the lips because he tried to scare me during a hide and seek game.

Occasionaly i tested my aim with the slingshot against cats

So many other things...

 

[appaws]

Game related. My best friend got Rygar for NES, but like two days later left for Mexico and was going to be gone for 3 weeks. We could see the game through his bedroom window just sitting there...so we broke into his house and took it. When he got back we owned up to it. I remember his dad looked like he was going to beat the shit out of us. But he just waited until he was having beers with my dad, he told him and my dad beat the shit out of me.

I threw a bucket of ice water over the top of a bathroom stall onto a kid while he was taking a shit. I've never heard anyone scream like that in my life. He came running out, shitty ass and all, screaming and crying. To my horror it turned out to be a special ed kid. I denied everything and amazingly nobody ratted on me. I remember my girlfriend at the time threatened to break up with me because I was just a "mean person."

My sister had a friend who had really bad scoliosis. But the weird thing was, she was really cute and I was kinda into her. But one day I heard her talking to my sister and saying that she wouldn't go out with me and that I was not her type. I went striding into the room and called her "ugly hunchback" and "hunchback of Notre Dame." I just wanted to hurt her and it worked, she started crying and ran out. I don't think she ever came to our house again.

 

[-Troid-]

I threw rocks in someone's pool once and had to apologize for it. And another time I accidentally ran into someones volleyball net while trying to catch a football, and had to apologize for that.

Other than that I never really did anything bad. I was a quiet kid mostly who took all honor classes, so I didn't get exposed to too many of the other kids who were troublesome. The worst I ever got in trouble was for a paper I was supposed to write in middle school that I just didn't want to do.

 

[Elektro Demon]

My grandma had the same tv as me. One night me and my cousin took my tv remote and started messing with her volume from outside the windows.
She freaked out but shit was hillarious.

 

[Clarissa]

My sis and I cut up our uncle's underwear and rubbed it with Papayas.

 

[Birdo]

I tried to follow my dreams.

 

[aimjay]

My father was a pilot and he would always come back with a lot of toys. I would ran to him and asked him what he got me, like a deranged little consumerist.

Heard my father talking about this in a way that made him feel I did not care about him, felt like shit and from then on I would run and hug him first.

Bonus track: With my brother we killed an entire garden of Aloe Vera with stick pretending to be samurai doing precise cuts. Owner was PISSED and kicked us out

 

[Stouffers]

There was also the time we overheard a girl on the school bus mention her mom was pregnant. We pretended we heard SHE was pregnant and teased her a bit. That night, a bunch of us snuck out, Toilet Papered her house and wrote on her driveway “CONGRATS ON THE BABY!”

We found out the next morning her mom had a miscarriage that evening.

 

[Constant Flux]

I tried to follow my dreams.

How DARE you!