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What kind of asshole does this?

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E

Eminem

goddamit, Griese!
Ok, so my car is a piece of garbage. It's a 1990 Pontiac Sunbird. I was returning shit to Kohl's. Then as I'm there I realize I'm in my Adidas Sweat pants, which have no pockets. So, I say "self, your car is a piece of shit. Leave the keys in the car." So I leave the keys sitting in between the driver and passenger seat. There is absolutely nothing of value in my car. It doesn't even have a cassette player for christ's sake. So I grab my wallet and go into the store.
So i'm in there for like 30 minutes. I come out, start walking to my car. I notice something shining near the rear-view mirror. Yep, those are my keys....dangling over my rear-view mirror. I sure didn't put them there.
I try to open the door. Yep, locked. The mother fucker went in my car, didn't steal it or anything inside, locked the doors, and taunted me with the keys. Yeah. Good one, fuckface.

It didn't matter since I always keep a spare key in my wallet....but come on, what the fuck? You lock someone's keys in their car? At least steal the fucking car and drive it into a ditch or something. Fucker.

Yeah, I think it's funny too. But I hate people so much.
 
T

tralfazz

Member
Funny shit. I'm not sure if you are lucky they didn't steal it. You don't seem to care for it. Could it have been a buddy of yours that knows your tendencies?
 
T

Tarazet

Member
:lol ! It must've been someone you knew. I can't imagine a random person doing that. They would've stolen shit.
 
S

ShadowRed

Banned
"What kind of asshole does this? #1 "



If by asshole you mean a person who would leave their keys in the car rather than take them with them, then it sounds like you.
 
E

Eminem

goddamit, Griese!
tralfazz said:
Funny shit. I'm not sure if you are lucky they didn't steal it. You don't seem to care for it. Could it have been a buddy of yours that knows your tendencies?
Click to expand...

:lol :lol Well the thing is, no one knew I was going to Kohl's. None of my friends called me or anything, which they would have done if they did it. Someone would have had to follow me and everything. No way they would have done that not knowing where I was going, or thinking I would leave the keys in the car.
It's possible that someone I know also happened to be at Kohl's at the same time, randomly, saw my shit, and decided to pull a joke....but again, no one has called me and confessed to it.
I gotta think it was a random dickhead.

sonarrat said:
:lol ! It must've been someone you knew. I can't imagine a random person doing that. They would've stolen shit.
Click to expand...

:lol like I said, there is nothing to steal, unless they want the 60 or so pennies scattered around.
 
A

aoi tsuki

Member
karasu said:
dude, never leave your keys in your car.
Click to expand...
Ditto. i'm just glad they just pranked you and didn't take off with anything, like your car.

Having a spare in your wallet is a good idea, though it doesn't hurt to have a backup at home as well.
 
I

impirius

Member
Maybe they saw the keys in the car, were concerned that it might get stolen, and locked them inside so that... I dunno, you could use a spare key to get in or whatever.

Of course, putting the keys over the rear view mirror is just begging someone to smash in a window and steal the car, so.. uh. Maybe they were concerned but not very bright.
 
E

Eminem

goddamit, Griese!
ShadowRed said:
"What kind of asshole does this? #1 "



If by asshole you mean a person who would leave their keys in the car rather than take them with them, then it sounds like you.
Click to expand...


I leave my keys in my car so I'm an asshole? :lol allllllrighty then. Stupid, yeah, but not assholish by any means.
 
M

mCACGj

Member
Reminds of the time my friend parked next to a brand new BMW way out in the parking lot alone, cause obviously the guy didnt want his car getting hit. My friend, being funny parked next to him. Little did he know, the guy was a maniac. When he came out, my friend's mirrors were broken off.
 
M

MIMIC

Banned
Yeah...leaving the keys inside the car is a really bad idea. My mom had her car stolen right out of the fucking DRIVEWAY once. :lol

We've moved from that neighborhood since then. :)
 
E

Eminem

goddamit, Griese!
Ninja Scooter said:
i did it. And i also took a shit in your trunk but i guess i just ruined the suprise.
Click to expand...

HA. My car is so shitty there is no trunk popper dealie. You need to open it with a key.

Liar.
 
N

NLB2

Banned
ShadowRed said:
"What kind of asshole does this? #1 "



If by asshole you mean a person who would leave their keys in the car rather than take them with them, then it sounds like you.
Click to expand...
Well that's quite possibly the stupidest definition of asshole I've ever heard.
 
T

teiresias

Member
You complain about not having pockets in which to put your keys, yet are able to carry your wallet around. In which case you should have put the keys somewhere where they couldn't be seen anyway.

And christ you shop at Kohl's!!!!!!!!
 
E

Eminem

goddamit, Griese!
teiresias said:
You complain about not having pockets in which to put your keys, yet are able to carry your wallet around. In which case you should have put the keys somewhere where they couldn't be seen anyway.

And christ you shop at Kohl's!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...

the wallet is easy to carry around. Much easier than a dangling, noisey ass long keychain.

SnowWolf said:
Still, it's somewhat true.
Click to expand...

No, no it's not. Call me stupid, niave, dumb....but Not an asshole. It's not true at all. Yeah, I am a pretty awful person, but nothing from my description labels me an asshole. So yeah, not true at all based on what I've said.
 
T

tralfazz

Member
teiresias said:
You complain about not having pockets in which to put your keys, yet are able to carry your wallet around. In which case you should have put the keys somewhere where they couldn't be seen anyway.

And christ you shop at Kohl's!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...


On a scale of 1-10 with 1=Thrift store and 10=Saks 5th Ave, Kohl's = 5. Above an Old Navy.
 
E

Eminem

goddamit, Griese!
CVXFREAK said:
You should have just locked the keys in your car and then use the spare to get in. Problem solved.
Click to expand...

That's actually not a bad idea. But I wasn't thinking that hard on the subject. I figured hey, this is a POS Pontiac with the driver side door nearly totally rusted through, no one wants this.
 
N

NLB2

Banned
SnowWolf said:
Still, it's somewhat true.
Click to expand...
No, if that's the definition you're using, then its completely true. Its just a stupid definition because when just about anybody uses the word "asshole" they don't mean "Someone who leaves their keys in the car rather than take them with them."
 
Dice

Dice

Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
Maybe they went to steal something and when you didn't have anything it pissed them off so they did that.
 
X

xsarien

daedsiluap
Eminem said:
I try to open the door. Yep, locked. The mother fucker went in my car, didn't steal it or anything inside, locked the doors, and taunted me with the keys. Yeah. Good one, fuckface.
Click to expand...

Food for thought:
The dude touched one thing - just one - with his penis. Now it's the kind of joke that keeps on giving. ;)

Eminem said:
HA. My car is so shitty there is no trunk popper dealie. You need to open it with a key.

Liar.
Click to expand...

Well now, he would've had the keys since you left them in the car, right?
 
L

Lhadatt

Member
Eminem said:
I leave my keys in my car so I'm an asshole?
Click to expand...
Yup.

Carry the keys in next time, or get some pockets. Letting someone steal your car so easily is a disservice to society.
 
E

Eminem

goddamit, Griese!
Lhadatt said:
Yup.

Carry the keys in next time, or get some pockets. Letting someone steal your car so easily is a disservice to society.
Click to expand...


See, I protest profusely. I left my keys in my car. I am stupid. I am a moron. I am lacking common sense. I am not an asshole, however.
Assholes are the douches that do stuff like this. You are wrong in calling me an asshole.
 
S

sc0la

Unconfirmed Member
It would have been funny if you had caught them:

"Honest I was just going to hang them from the mirror!"

*punch punch punch*
 
G

GDJustin

stuck my tongue deep inside Atlus' cookies
I drive an 89 pontiac sunbird. I feel your pain (re: having a shit car. Not the locking the keys inside thing) :)
 
M

miyuru

Member
He's not an asshole for being innocent in this. It was a dumb thing to do, but it's not assholish. In fact anyone calling Em an asshole is ironically the asshole.
 
E

Eminem

goddamit, Griese!
miyuru said:
He's not an asshole for being innocent in this. It was a dumb thing to do, but it's not assholish. In fact anyone calling Em an asshole is ironically the asshole.
Click to expand...


IAWTP
 
M

MIMIC

Banned
Lhadatt said:
Yup.

Carry the keys in next time, or get some pockets. Letting someone steal your car so easily is a disservice to society.
Click to expand...

Your perception of an "asshole" is ridiculously off mark.
 
D

Deleted member 4784

Unconfirmed Member
I can just imagine the "asshole" in this story being some old fogie out to teach you a lesson when it comes to leaving your keys out in open view within an unlocked car. No damage was done, so that's just another lesson learned, I suppose. At least you won't be making that same mistake again! :lol

Just think: instead of someone with harmless intentions teaching you a lesson, your car could have been taken out on a joy ride by some kids and become involved in an accident that resulted in injury and damages to person and property other than your own. You're not the only person who can be victim due to your own negligence. I'd say you're better off having been made a fool of harmlessly when much worse could have happened.
 
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