The dumbest thing I’ve ever done was break a controller out of anger. But not by throwing it…
See, I had been playing Master mode in a rhythm game called Gitaroo-Man on PS2, and for anyone who’s attempted that, you know it’s holy-shit-hard. After a few days of attempting the same damn song over and over again, I let loose and threw my controller. Nothing happened, the controller was fine.
But then I got more and more frustrated. I kept throwing the controller. Eventually, I actually spiked it on the floor, and that was enough to finally break my beloved DualShock 2.
But that’s not the controller this post is about.
See, after saving up a bit of money and buying a new controller, I decided I obviously couldn’t afford throwing the controller anymore, and promised myself I wouldn’t throw another one. But, stupidly, I kept playing the unbeatable level in Gitaroo-Man.
The frustration kept building, failure after failure. But I held true and did not throw the controller. Instead, I just started gripping it. HARD. Every time I failed, I squeezed the controller harder and harder, with my knuckles going full white and my hands getting a bit tingly.
But I kept playing.
Over ONE WEEK LATER, I still hadn’t beaten this level. But I was close, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had a few solid runs, where I made it to the final batch of notes, only to lose it all. The anger continued to build, but my controller remained safe.
Until one run. THE run. I was nailing all of the notes, it was the best I had done, and I knew that if I could just get through the last section, I’d finally conquer this song. There it was… the finish line. The final few notes. Victory was almost mine.
Then it happened. I failed on the VERY. LAST. NOTE. I literally could not have been ANY closer.
The rage boiled over. I could only see red. I squeezed my controller harder than I ever have, but it wasn’t enough. My desire- no, NEED to throw that fucking controller could not be suppressed, but I made myself a promise.
That’s when, in a blurry primal rage, instead of throwing the controller, I went the other direction; I SLAMMED the controller RIGHT on my fucking face. I hit my stupid head SO HARD with that controller, that BOTH analog sticks snapped inward and went limp. I had broken a controller on my face.
The worst part was that I had two circular, analog stick-sized bruises on my forehead for the next few days, which I tried to explain at school that it was some sports accident. (No one was buying it.)
Since then, I don’t think I’ve thrown or broken a controller out of rage. I took a break from Gitaroo-Man for about a month, and when I finally came back, I beat that song on my THIRD try.
That’s definitely the dumbest gaming thing I’ve ever done.
