When is work too much?

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Relix

he's Virgin Tight™
I need to get this off the chest or I'll yell for several hours long. I am IT Director for a financial institution and also started a software development company. I usually work as Director from 8AM to 6PM, one hour food break and commute while I get to the private office, then work my ass off from 7PM to 12 then back home, shower, etc, etc... I go to bed at 2AM. Sleep 5 hours, rinse repeat, from Monday to Friday, and even Saturdays sometimes. Sundays are my only true free day but I usually spend it visiting places with friends. I've tried to keep my social life alive, and my dating live is almost null except for a girl I am talking with which understands my situation. I am making a shitload of money for my age (26) and I just sealed a $30K deal for a software last night for my company. Its all good and all but...

The work. So much work. Its bogging me down, I am gaining weight quickly (20 pounds in 3 months!), haven't been able to properly relax or write my books, nothing. Stress is accumulating over my shoulders and spams are killing me. If I keep up like this I'll wear myself down in a year or two, but a part of me likes it. I am a goddamn workaholic. I need to work otherwise I feel bored. Hell, this morning I almost wanted to cry when commuting; so much stuff to do and so little time. This hasn't stopped me from doing my random shit (hell I bought tickets to fly to Miami in May to see the Zelda symphony down there), but I don't have time to do other things I want to do and need to do like exercise, and whatever social life I sneak in eats up from my sleep hours.

When is it too much? I cannot quit my full time job right now as so much depends on me and I cannot fail these people, and I cannot close my business because I have several big name clients depending on me (and a friend, we are two at the company).

//LiveJournal Mode off (wanted to write this somewhere)
 
Everyone's different. I have friends in their late 20s/mid 30s making over 200k but working like a dog for it (pretty much like you). But some people need to have a life outside of work regardless of the money and are willing to accept less for it.

It's all about priorities. There's nothing wrong with choosing a "lifestyle" job in the same industry after burning out at your current job. I'm sure the experience your getting is invaluable.

Work at a fast paced lucrative job while your young and willing. But don't sacrifice your health.
 
When your hair starts turning gray early; unless you're the president, I think it may be time to reevaluate some things.
 
I dunno, if you enjoy it and feel the need to do it then its all good.

But I would hate that. I only work 9-5 and still feel like I don't have enough time to do everything I want to do.
 
Quit your job and focus on your own thing if it's making you enough money to stay afloat, don't feel obligated to stay. They'll figure it out
 
I can't tell you what to do man. I'm amazed by your commitment and achievements at such a young age. Are you setting money aside in a savings account? It'll be a good holdover should you need an extended break eventually.

Self-care is difficult sometimes, especially in early adulthood when you're still establishing your place in the world. But do small things for yourself if possible. Take a day to go to a spa and get a massage or something to help relax you. As important as a social life is, your mental health and happiness need to come first.
 
When it isn't worth it any more.

How much money do you really need? Money only matters to the detriment of your health when the lack of it presents problems.
 
No idea how anyone stands to work more than 40 hours a week for extended periods unless it's something you really love.

8:30 - 5:00 is already plenty for me.

If I were you'd I'd decide between the job and my company and stick with whatever provided me the most fulfillment-to-stress ratio. I'm assuming both would provide you a decent amount of monetary return so I wouldn't really even factor that into it.

DON'T let guilt keep you from leaving your job. If you really respect your superiors you can give them more than the customary two weeks to find a replacement. They should understand.
 
Also in addition to quitting one of your jobs if you want to keep busy find a hobby. Aside from playing games I like to make models (gundams mostly) and mess around with hobby electronics & hardware hacking game stuff.
 
forgive me if I missed something important

but I stopped reading after you said you only sleep 5 hours. that's not healthy man and I don't care what you do for a living, it's not worth putting your body and mind at jeopardy because of it. so if you can't possibly get more sleep because of the work you're doing than in my opinion you're working too much.
 
I've been working 6:30 to 4:30 with a 30 minute lunch the last couple of months to save up down payment for my new house, and it's been ridiculously draining. I'm a network admin, so the constant staring at screens is starting to kill my eyes. I might have to cut back, but I can't really afford to now.
 
When you're in your twenties there is almost no limit. Work will keep you outta trouble and provide a lot more opportunities as you grow older. If it does seem like too much learn to say no to things.
 
Anything more than 40 hours...I don't care how much I'm making. A third of my life spent doing something I don't want to do is already enough for me.
 
The fact we sleep 1/3 of the day is weird. Or how much time we spend going to the bathroom. God really did a bang up job when he designed the human body.
 
link1201 said:
When you're in your twenties there is almost no limit. Work will keep you outta trouble and provide a lot more opportunities as you grow older. If it does seem like too much learn to say no to things.
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Sorry but I disagree. Social stuff matters, finding happiness in life matters, and trying to find all of this when working 80+ hours a week is near impossible. If you work that hard you're just going to burn yourself out. Life's a marathon not a sprint.

If I didn't have time to just sit down and enjoy time with my wife and pets life would really suck.
 
I work hard, and at home too. But I'd like to think what I do is valuable. If I was doing this amount of work for a big corporation I'd become very disillusioned.
 
Listen to your body. If you don't it will shut down on you. There is only one you.The world will keep on going with or without you.You keep thinking that you are irreplaceable nobody could be better or more devoted than you. You don't even take any sick days. Until your body says remember me and it crashes on you. Take care of yourself if you don't who will?
 
Escape Goat said:
The fact we sleep 1/3 of the day is weird. Or how much time we spend going to the bathroom. God really did a bang up job when he designed the human body.
Click to expand...

Imagine the environmental destruction that would've happened if we only needed 30 minutes of sleep. You're talking about thousands of years of extra productivity for humanity.
 
Relix said:
When is it too much? I cannot quit my full time job right now as so much depends on me and I cannot fail these people, and I cannot close my business because I have several big name clients depending on me (and a friend, we are two at the company).
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Its your life but why can't you quit your IT job? The people who run financial services companies are big boys. They'll find someone else if you leave even if they have to hire two people. Sounds to me like the best thing is to quit there and really focus on your company. Unless you have some other expenses that don't make this an option.
 
I dont know any details about your business but maybe you should strive to quit your day job and dedicate your time to your company, at some point you should be able to have your own schedule and make time for working out, eating right, etc. I have a few friends that make good money but start work at say 10 AM, after working out from 8:30 to 9:30, and then they work all the way to 7 PM.

Also, not trying to be an ass but, are you sure you are not depressed or something? You kind of imply that you cant be left to your own thoughts as you get bored if you are not working all the time. Just trying to read between the lines.
 
Relix said:
When is it too much? I cannot quit my full time job right now as so much depends on me and I cannot fail these people, and I cannot close my business because I have several big name clients depending on me (and a friend, we are two at the company).
Click to expand...

If there is one thing I have learned in 20 years is that anyone can be replaced.

Now if you dont want to quit because of money, thats something else.
 
Omaha said:
When your hair starts turning gray early; unless you're the president, I think it may be time to reevaluate some things.
Click to expand...

Yep. It wasn't more than two years after I took over the family business that I started going grey (around age 28).

As far as "how much work is too much?" At the end of the day, as with everything in life, you're going to get out of it what you put into it, so that comes 100% down to the individual.
 
When the pay doesn't match the hours you are putting. I was a sous chef for 2.5 years at two casinos / restaurants here in Las Vegas. I'm 30 years old and kind of regret not doing as much as I hoped to do after I graduated from culinary school. Sure I learned a lot, but I don't think I'm going to ever have that window again to be able to travel to different countries with my friends (which are now starting families of their own) or just have that leverage of not having so much responsibilities in life.

The amount of work you put in doesn't justify the 2 - 3k more money you'll get. I dropped down to hourly and more happy only putting at most 8 hours of work instead of the usual 12 - 14. I have the union to back me up if the shit ever hits the fan ( you'll be surprised how many times you'lI feel like your last day was the next if you ever messed up or had an off day as salary). I put my job first for the last 11 years. I won't probably ever go back into management because A, it's not for me and B, it's too much stress on one person's life. As someone stated on the thread, I noticed my hair was going grey at 28 and now I'm completely shaved off because I couldn't stand looking at my hair thinning or turning a different color.

On a side note, most of the majors in my field are around the ages of 20 - 34. I think it says a lot about how people will be burned out by the time they hit their 30s and focus on more important things in life (marriage, making time with your family, having a social life where you aren't married to your job etc).
 
You need to ask yourself if you work to live, or live to work.

If it is the former, you need to make some work-life balance adjustments.
 
Shit ain't worth it, especially if you're single and only have yourself to support.

Even if you have to take a pay cut, you're better off finding a job that also allows you to live. Who cares if you're making 150k a year or whatever if you can't use it to enjoy life, all the while getting fat and sick because you have no time to take care of yourself.

You'd be much better off making even half of that and having a social life and time to yourself.

Acorn said:
Rather be comfortable and work 35 hours than rich and work over 60
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The thing is, you won't even get rich in the grand scheme of things working like a slave for some company. The only people who get really rich are those who invest and get rich off of other people's work. You don't get truly rich working for other people.
 
Well we are undergoing PCI 3.0 compliance testing at my workplace (we are a staff of 8, its not a massive institution) and I am delegating some stuff, but some of the guys aren't too bright and I am looking to replace some of them. The day to day can be heavy here, but I'll be honest... giving me this trust and this responsibility for someone my age is something I am truly grateful for and I feel I owe to them to finish this process and certain others. As for the company, I am not yet in a position to hire a third person and keep it afloat and stable. We are in the green right now, but for the next few months we need to duke it out. My friend is in a similar position, big difference is that he's a senior software programmer at another company. We did "hire" a third person at the company to manage sales and stuff and we pay by commission and we are paying for a receptionist to handle our calls while we are away, but hiring a full time third programmer is hard at the moment.

Still, balance is something that's hard to get right now. If I quit my full-time job I'll be in a pinch even though I have enough savings for a few months.

As a fun fact, I love the work I am doing so its not really "work" per-se for me, more like I am doing something I truly enjoy, I just wish I had free time to do stupid shit as I did before when I was younger. I felt like I can slug it away now that I am young and when older relax and sit back, but I am slowly realizing the toll its taking on me might not allow me to make it to old age.
 
link1201 said:
When you're in your twenties there is almost no limit. Work will keep you outta trouble and provide a lot more opportunities as you grow older. If it does seem like too much learn to say no to things.
Click to expand...

Having just lived through my 20s I can agree to this. It keeps you focus and would always agree to whatever your boss asked you to go into work because you either had nothing else better to do, or didn't want to spend money on your day so going into work was a good option. (dat student loans).
 
Relix said:
Well we are undergoing PCI 3.0 compliance testing at my workplace (we are a staff of 8, its not a massive institution) and I am delegating some stuff, but some of the guys aren't too bright and I am looking to replace some of them. The day to day can be heavy here, but I'll be honest... giving me this trust and this responsibility for someone my age is something I am truly grateful for and I feel I owe to them to finish this process and certain others. As for the company, I am not yet in a position to hire a third person and keep it afloat and stable. We are in the green right now, but for the next few months we need to duke it out. My friend is in a similar position, big difference is that he's a senior software programmer at another company. We did "hire" a third person at the company to manage sales and stuff and we pay by commission and we are paying for a receptionist to handle our calls while we are away, but hiring a full time third programmer is hard at the moment.

Still, balance is something that's hard to get right now. If I quit my full-time job I'll be in a pinch even though I have enough savings for a few months.
Click to expand...

Do you have a short term goal on how to resolve your "situation" though? Maybe put a goal to have x number of projects going and promise yourself to quit your main job when you achieve it.

Of course this would be after completing the projects that will make sure you dont burn any bridges.
 
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