Support NeoGAF

[Litigation Manuel]

Here's the game: Insult one another with comebacks, zingers, threats, etc, until there is no appropriate response.

RULES:
1. Make the insults fairly short, nothing too long, that just gets complicated and unnecessary.
2. Nothing is off limits.
3. Along with number three, remember to keep everything in good humor, you are not supposed to take the comment seriously, so please don't get offended.
4. Insults can be shared between any number of people, although normally easier with 2 or 3 people. Try to keep insults open ended so anyone can reply.
5. Whoever makes the ultimate insult, to which no appropriate zinger/response can apply, wins the title of the Insult Master (maybe as a tag? That's up to the mods).

JUDGING:
Fellow gaffers will judge the insults, points given for creativeness, and especially correlation with the previous insult. "LOL's", "ROFL's" and "HAHAHA's" will be counted towards an effective, well-made insult.

I'll start us off:
Your face is as bumpy as your penis!

 

[Boomer]

You're a dumbass.

 

[Grizzlyjin]

Your mother is overweight.

 

[Eminem]

The jerk store called, and they're running out of you.

 

[Grizzlyjin]

The jerk store called, and they're running out of you.

Oh yeah! Well I had sex with your wife.

 

[Eminem]

NO YOU FOOL. NEXT COMES:

"What does it matter? You're their all-time best seller!"


My dreams are ruined.

 

[Litigation Manuel]

Oh yeah! Well I had sex with your wife.

Too bad I'm married to your mom, son.

 

[BuddyC]

Your face is as bumpy as your penis!

That's just because your dog assaulted me after you gave it the herpes you got from the sheep.

 

[Grizzlyjin]

Too bad I'm married to your mom, son.

I can't hang on that level...you win.

*licks wounds in the corner*

 

[shoplifter]

 

[Poody]

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner by unanimous decision from this corner weighing ? kb still the undisputed heavy weight of the champion of the world.... The Insult Generator

 

[Pochacco]

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner by unanimous decision from this corner weighing ? kb still the undisputed heavy weight of the champion of the world.... The Insult Generator

Shut the fuck up.

 

[Boomer]

Shut the fuck up.

Your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of elderberries.

 

[Pochacco]

Yea?
Well apparently you're deaf because I said shut the fuck up, ass.

 

[GG-Duo]

you're my best friend

 

[Pochacco]

Yea? Well your momma so fat...um...you're so stupid that...um...
...damnit GG!

I was on a role too, with the whole shut the fuck up thing.

 

[shoplifter]

 

[Ferrio]

His ass is a mobile sperm bank.

 

[shoplifter]

His ass is a mobile sperm bank.

 

[God's Hand]

I am the insult master. I have no reason to prove it to you... people.

 

[Matlock]

Litigation: I have the ultimate insult for you.

Spoiler

Chris is your brother.

 

[Joe]

YOU'RE SO POOR YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY ATTENTION

 

[impirius]

you were wrong, cabinet sanchez

 

[Guzim]

Your mother wears army boots.

 

[way more]

How appropriate, you fight like a cow.

 

[LakeEarth]

I used to be awsome at insults when I was in gradeschool. But one day I found out someone I ripped on a lot went suicidal after he moved away... so I kinda stopped doing it. So I'm rusty now.

 

[thom]

I've always been partial to...


*ahem


"Fuck you and the horse you rode in on".

 

[Litigation Manuel]

Litigation: I have the ultimate insult for you.

Spoiler

Chris is your brother.

(before I begin, nice one, this was difficult)

Only because we share the sperm of our father, unlike you and your brother, who actually share sperm!

 

[ManDudeChild]

You're a kaka head mr. pee pee breath!

 

[Boogie9IGN]

You cumsoaked mailman

 

[Pattergen]

Yo, you just mad cause tonight you suckas got served!

 

[lordmrw]

yo mama so stupid she has to put lipstick on her head just to make up her mind.

 

[Infinitemadness]

yer all watery caca

 

[Takuan]

You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.

 

[Matlock]

(before I begin, nice one, this was difficult)

Only because we share the sperm of our father, unlike you and your brother, who actually share sperm!

I don't have a brother.

 

[Triumph]

Good grief.

Reading these so called "insults" has led me to the conclusion that all of you weren't just dropped as babies, the doctor took one look and threw your lame asses on the floor, ashamed of what he had just helped to birth into this world.

You folks need to go back to Insult Training Camp... or you would, but I'm sure you're all too stupid to figure out how to get there. Hey, let me help you, just close your eyes and walk out into traffic, you'll make it soon enough little troopers!

 

[Matlock]

Well, Triumph, I could say that he's a cockgobbler from bumfuck indiana that blows only his next door cousin after a thrilling game of Superman 64, but that'd be too much.

 

[Boomer]

Good grief.

Reading these so called "insults" has led me to the conclusion that all of you weren't just dropped as babies, the doctor took one look and threw your lame asses on the floor, ashamed of what he had just helped to birth into this world.

You folks need to go back to Insult Training Camp... or you would, but I'm sure you're all too stupid to figure out how to get there. Hey, let me help you, just close your eyes and walk out into traffic, you'll make it soon enough little troopers!

Bobby Cox sucks.

 

[sprsk]

insult camp?

 

[ManDudeChild]

Good grief.

Reading these so called "insults" has led me to the conclusion that all of you weren't just dropped as babies, the doctor took one look and threw your lame asses on the floor, ashamed of what he had just helped to birth into this world.

You folks need to go back to Insult Training Camp... or you would, but I'm sure you're all too stupid to figure out how to get there. Hey, let me help you, just close your eyes and walk out into traffic, you'll make it soon enough little troopers!

You win the thread!

 

[Eminem]

Well, Triumph, I could say that he's a cockgobbler from bumfuck indiana that blows only his next door cousin after a thrilling game of Superman 64, but that'd be too much.

hey, I actually am from bumfuck indiana!

 

[Triumph]

Bobby Cox sucks.

Not only does Bobby Cox not suck(what other manager has 14 straight divisional titles?), I believe you and I made a bet in the MLB thread on the old board, friend. A bet that if the Braves finished with a better record than the Cinci "No Game" Reds, you would paypal me $40.

Now, I know you don't want to be called a no good, welshing liar who won't pay his bets in addition to an asbestos licking Reds fan. So why don't you PM me and we can hash out payment, mkay?

 

[Boogie]

 

[Eminem]

speaking of bobby cox...

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/index

Baseball's best manager? Many point toward Atlanta's dugout, where Bobby Cox may be enjoying his finest yearas the Braves' skipper, Jerry Crasnick writes. With victory No. 2,000 in reach, Cox will cement his place among the all-time greats.

 

[Boomer]

Not only does Bobby Cox not suck(what other manager has 14 straight divisional titles?), I believe you and I made a bet in the MLB thread on the old board, friend. A bet that if the Braves finished with a better record than the Cinci "No Game" Reds, you would paypal me $40.

Now, I know you don't want to be called a no good, welshing liar who won't pay his bets in addition to an asbestos licking Reds fan. So why don't you PM me and we can hash out payment, mkay?

Unless you can provide some evidence of said "deal", I will have no choice but to call you a liar. Any further accusations and you will hear from my lawyer.

 

[Stryder]

Good grief.

Reading these so called "insults" has led me to the conclusion that all of you weren't just dropped as babies, the doctor took one look and threw your lame asses on the floor, ashamed of what he had just helped to birth into this world.

You folks need to go back to Insult Training Camp... or you would, but I'm sure you're all too stupid to figure out how to get there. Hey, let me help you, just close your eyes and walk out into traffic, you'll make it soon enough little troopers!

This man get's a "LOL" from me :lol

 

[Triumph]

Unless you can provide some evidence of said "deal", I will have no choice but to call you a liar. Any further accusations and you will hear from my lawyer.

Sadly, unless someone archived the MLB thread from the old board, I have no proof. It doesn't really matter, though, I have the warm feeling inside of not having to A) Be from such a shithole, wart on the ass of America town as Cinci and B) Be forced to root for a team that is cursed to wander the depths of the NL Central for the next 10 years.

Have fun rooting for a team where your best player hates the fans and media, doesn't give a shit enough to stretch out his hammys before the season and games, and then wonders why he keeps getting hurt(other than playing for the shittacular Cinci Reds, which would cause me to jump in front of a train). Oh well, at least you have Adam Dunn to entertain you until he starts to make too much money and can't be signed in a few years. Have fun never making it to the postseason in your adult life, I'll be chilling down the 1st base line in October watching the Braves job to whoever.

 

[Boomer]

Sadly, unless someone archived the MLB thread from the old board, I have no proof. It doesn't really matter, though, I have the warm feeling inside of not having to A) Be from such a shithole, wart on the ass of America town as Cinci and B) Be forced to root for a team that is cursed to wander the depths of the NL Central for the next 10 years.

Have fun rooting for a team where your best player hates the fans and media, doesn't give a shit enough to stretch out his hammys before the season and games, and then wonders why he keeps getting hurt(other than playing for the shittacular Cinci Reds, which would cause me to jump in front of a train). Oh well, at least you have Adam Dunn to entertain you until he starts to make too much money and can't be signed in a few years. Have fun never making it to the postseason in your adult life, I'll be chilling down the 1st base line in October watching the Braves job to whoever.

owned

 

[Litigation Manuel]

I don't have a brother.

That's because he...sperm...empty...disappear...darn, I think I'm out. I shouldn't have gone out on a limb with the brother thing.

Right now it appears Raoul Duke is in the lead, Matlock in there somewhere as well, maybe some other less notable people.

 

[Justin Bailey]

YOUR MOM IS SO FAT SHE JUMPED UP IN THE AIR AND GOT STUCK