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[FrenchMovieTheme]

i was just thinking about this today for some reason. for those of you who are married (and have both a good relationship with your brother and have a best friend who is male), who was your best man? are there kind of "rules" to go by in this regard?

 

[Mama Smurf]

Whoever you want it to be.

Though at any wedding I've been to, it's been the best friend. Don't really get the brother thing, guess it takes closer families than mine. He'd be like 20th in line.

 

[MIMIC]

My brother would be my best man, and vice versa.

But what it comes down to is who's closer: your best friend or your brother?

 

[Lathentar]

I'd pick my best friend in a heart beat.

 

[Mama Smurf]

Turning the topic slightly, does anyone really NOT want to be a best man? It's an honour and all, and there's no way I could turn it down, but I'm tempted to start pissing my friend off as soon as I get any inkling that he might be getting married soon.

It's the speech. I just don't want to do it. I'm quite happy to help out with the wedding in every other way, but I've been at weddings when the best man stumbles through his speech and no joke gets a laugh and I just wanted to die in embarrassment for him, so it'd be even worst if I was the one it was happening to.

 

[Dan]

Turning the topic slightly, does anyone really NOT want to be a best man? It's an honour and all, and there's no way I could turn it down, but I'm tempted to start pissing my friend off as soon as I get any inkling that he might be getting married soon.

It's the speech. I just don't want to do it. I'm quite happy to help out with the wedding in every other way, but I've been at weddings when the best man stumbles through his speech and no joke gets a laugh and I just wanted to die in embarrassment for him, so it'd be even worst if I was the one it was happening to.

I'd be more comfortable doing a speech than I would be setting up a bachelor's party or anything of that sort. That said, I'd still be nervous as hell about the speech and I suck at public speaking. Hopefully by the time my close friends are marrying I'll have my social anxiety under control. I'm sure I could write or plan a damned good speech though, the issue would just be delivering it.

 

[alejob]

Well my brother is my best friend. I guess it should the person that you are closest with.

 

[Gantz]

Why don't you have them both as your groom's men instead of having one best man?

 

[impirius]

I'm getting married on Friday and wanted to just have four groomsmen, but apparently, one has to be the best man or the world asplode

 

[Brian Fellows]

Turning the topic slightly, does anyone really NOT want to be a best man?

I didnt wanna be the best man for my friends wedding. I said yes as long as I didnt have to give a speech. I also didnt set up any kinda bachelor party. I just didnt know how you throw a party for someone with abosolutely no vices. I figured whats the point. So one other groomsmen set up some little thing at small little amusement park. We hit at the batting cages(well I hit they swung and missed alot), hit some golf balls in the driving range, and I kicked their asses at putt putt golf. Then we went to O'Charlies.

I actually had more fun at the bachelorette party which I just happened to stumble into. They were actually partyin at the bars.

As for the reception it went just fine without some bullshit speech from me.

 

[Boogie]

My best friend is getting married in October. He's having his brother as best man.

 

[sans_pants]

i think its just whomever is better

make them have a sword fight

 

[FrenchMovieTheme]

well i clearly know who i would choose if i had a shitty relationship with my brother.

but what would you guys do if you had a really good relationship with your brother, but didn't hang out very often with him. wouldn't you feel incredibly bad either way? like your brother is at your wedding and NOT your best man, or your best friend is there and NOT your best man. i'd feel like shit either way...

 

[way more]

Turning the topic slightly, does anyone really NOT want to be a best man? It's an honour and all, and there's no way I could turn it down, but I'm tempted to start pissing my friend off as soon as I get any inkling that he might be getting married soon.

It's the speech. I just don't want to do it. I'm quite happy to help out with the wedding in every other way, but I've been at weddings when the best man stumbles through his speech and no joke gets a laugh and I just wanted to die in embarrassment for him, so it'd be even worst if I was the one it was happening to.

I was very relieved when I found out my brother chose a close friend instead of me for his upcoming wedding. The speech would be hard enough but planning the bachelor party was sweating me. I also didn't want to pay for it.

 

[Mike Works]

I don't look forward to picking this aspect, considering I've basically got 2 best friends.

 

[Mama Smurf]

You have to pay for it?! Fuck that, we're having it at my place, everyone can bring along some booze and anything else they want, and surely someone will have a sister willing to strip.

In related news, my (female) friend who's in a serious, long term relationship and, I have no doubt, will be married barring fuck ups in the next few years, wants me to be her maid of honour. Yeah

She's my best friend by a massive distance, and she said they can change the name to something else and I can't deny helping her and the bridesmaids get dressed on the day isn't enticing...but it's all the other crap!

Putting aside the endless teasing I'd get from it, which I could probably handle though it'd be tiresome, there's all this other stuff to deal with. I'd have to organise and I guess go on a Hen Night. Sounds fun, what straight guy hasn't wanted to go to a male strip club and cry in the corner the whole night? I'd have to help her get her wedding dress, which'd go a little like this: "Get the white one." "They're all white." "So get any." "You're ruining my wedding! *crying*" Oh, and then there's the not at all emasculating duty of holding the bride's bouquet during the ceremony.

Fuck, I just found out you can have a male version and you're called an Honour Attendant. Can't let her find that out, must convince her it's too weird.

 

[sly]

I don't look forward to picking this aspect, considering I've basically got 2 best friends.

Lucky you! :lol I keep on wondering if my brother will be offended if I choose my best firend instead, I'm quite close with both of them.

 

[FrenchMovieTheme]

Fuck, I just found out you can have a male version and you're called an Honour Attendant. Can't let her find that out, must convince her it's too weird.

damn... good luck with all that dude :lol

 

[Manics]

I think it should be your best friend, but in many cases the brother could be the best friend. In my case, I knew how much it would mean to my brother to be my best man so I asked him and also got out of the awkward situation of choosing among my other friends to have to label one as "The best". My brother picked me to be his best man for his wedding, so it would have been real awkward if I didn't choose him as mine. I've known him longer than anyone else, we've grown up together, and I don't regret the decision at all.

 

[Johnas]

When my brother got married, he chose me as his best man, and I accepted. I had to make a small speech, but I stumbled through it well enough. When my best friend got married, he chose me as his best man, and I accepted then too, but I didn't have to make a speech. What was really cool to me was the simplicity of his wedding, there was just me as his best man, and his bride's good friend (not sure about best) was the maid of honor, and that was it. No additional bridesmaids or groomsmen. It'll definitely be tough for me to choose, when and if the day comes. I have another really good friend, who is still single, that I'll probably choose, since I'm closer to him than the other two guys currently. With guys, it's really not that big of a deal, most of them aren't offended by not being chosen. Girls, on the other hand...hoo boy. One friend of mine's wife had to have 11 or 12 bridesmaids so none of the cousins would get their feelings hurt. :lol I thought that was ridiculous, but it was their wedding.

 

[Beezy]

WTF?! I didn't know the best man had to give a speech! Fuck! I knew I should've fought that bastard in 6th grade when I had the chance!

 

[Agent Dormer]

I already know who I want to ask to be my best man eventually. He's who I consider to be what I'd like a brother to be (since I only have sisters).

 

[tedtropy]

I don't look forward to picking this aspect, considering I've basically got 2 best friends.

Well the solution is obvious - they battle to the death on top of a giant wedding cake replica. At least that's how it's done here. Ya know...in the south.

 

[Fuzzy]

I'm getting married on Friday and wanted to just have four groomsmen, but apparently, one has to be the best man or the world asplode

Well you do have to pick one of them to sign the marriage certificate.

Two years ago my friend got married and had four groomsmen (myself included) but had his brother as the best man. Since his brother is a terrible public speaker, my other friend and I each gave a speech for him (we each got big laughs).

My oldest brother got married in November and I was the best man and I had no problem with thinking up the speech for his either (I got huge laughs, the maid of honour got tears). The funny thing about my speech was even though I had written it beforehand I winged it when I was up there and people kept coming up to me for the rest of the night to tell me how much they enjoyed it. For my brother's wedding I didn't set up the bachelor party, his best friend did.

A note on bachelor parties, if it's done right you (meaning the groom) can walk away with a nice profit after all the expenses. My cousin had his bachelor party last July and he walked away with about $1200 CAD in his pocket.

 

[Manders]

I would choose my brother as my best man. For me, there's no choice to be made. I only see him every other month or so, but we were really close growing up. We're only a little over a year apart in age so it's a good fit

 

[michael000]

I don't have a brother so it's a moot point for me but i do remember being pretty surprised when my best friend asked me to be his best man as he does have a brother 5 years older that he's close to.

I don't think i'll be anyone else's best man but even if i had the chance i really wouldn't look forward to it. I totally agree about it being alot of work and being expensive though, and it's all because of the damn bachelor party heh. I personally had to call and confirm for 25+ people, arrange a party bus, pick up booze for the meetup place to drink beforehand and for the bus, collect money and keep track of money for said party bus, figure out which strip clubs we were going to hit, and then which club afterwards. All while babysitting these drunk idiots and still drinking enough to have fun myself but not get so shitfaced so i couldn't run the show :lol . It was more stressful than anything since i wanted to keep the groom happy as well as everyone else there. Strip clubs get old after 2 hours if you're not the groom heh. All in all i spent well over $300 out of my own pocket and that was on top of the $30 i collected from each person who wasn't the groom to help pay for the party bus and booze.

 

[AirBrian]

I don't have any brothers, so it was an easy decision for me. However, my best man/best friend is getting married this October and has a brother who he's close with. He was torn over who to choose and talked to me about it. He was thinking of having two, but I told him to choose his brother and not to think twice or feel bad about it. It's all worked out now, but I can see how someone could have a difficult time making a decision. If you're really not sure who to pick, I'd say talk to your best friend first. I'm sure most close friends would understand if you're close to your brother as well.

 

[6.8]

I was in a 4-people wedding party last weekend, and we were all friends. On the side of the bride, they were 3 sisters (1 in-law) and 1 friend was the maid of honor.

 

[Loki]

I don't look forward to picking this aspect, considering I've basically got 2 best friends.

Hah, me too-- and I've known them both for 20 years (since second grade). It's gonna be tough; I was pondering doing a "co-best man" type thing, but I keep telling myself that it would be tacky, and to grow a sack and make a decision.


I'm equally close to both of them, which makes it all the more difficult.

 

[Boogie9IGN]

Get them both together and ask them. Don't forget to mention the speech they'd have to make

 

[Spectral Glider]

WTF?! I didn't know the best man had to give a speech! Fuck! I knew I should've fought that bastard in 6th grade when I had the chance!

Well, it's not so much a speech as it is a really nice toast. I've done two....first one was a disaster. I don't even really remember what I said. The second one was much better. The part that really sucked was at the second one the priest couldn't make the recpetion, so the dinner prayer had to be given by, yep, you guessed it, the best man. I pretty much just said, "Thanks god, now let's eat." It got a laugh anyway. Man, I hate that shit.

 

[Dsal]

I refused to assign any of the guys in my wedding party "best man" at my wedding. I think the whole tradition of it is just stupid anyways. I just had my groomsmen and I left it to them to figure out who wanted to do the toasts and things. If I was forced to pick someone I'd pick my brother though.

 

[Diomedeskun]

I'm getting married in september. It was a tough decision, but I had to go with family in the end, and I'm using my brother in law who has always been like a brother to me. It was not only a decision of who to use for best man, but which of my friends to pick for groomsmen, as I had to exclude at least on close friend. My fiancee added an extra bridesmaid so I could have four groomsmen, but I'm trying to find some role for one friend who didn't make it.

 

[Fuzzy]

I'm getting married in september. It was a tough decision, but I had to go with family in the end, and I'm using my brother in law who has always been like a brother to me. It was not only a decision of who to use for best man, but which of my friends to pick for groomsmen, as I had to exclude at least on close friend. My fiancee added an extra bridesmaid so I could have four groomsmen, but I'm trying to find some role for one friend who didn't make it.

I suggest you make him the flower girl.

 

[Jill Sandwich]

My brother had 3 best men at his wedding, me, our dad, and his best friend. I handled the ring, but we all gave speeches.
At my wedding my best friend was best man.