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Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel

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Rekwest

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The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:




I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. "Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ... click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."

I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." He said "But they look so close on the map."

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of llinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York" The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal!"


http://www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/travel.html :lol
 
To be fair, a lot of these - if true - are likely people who rarely travel; to be completely fair, international tourists aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer either. I've lost count of how many get on a bus or a train not going anywhere near their destination, or whip out a map in the middle of a busy street.

Seriously, it ain't hard to look up the basics of how to get to and from your Tourist Trap of the Day before you leave your hotel room.


(Note: I know they're international because they're usually talking to each other. Loudly.)
 
Rekwest said:
A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I "looked into it" (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

Heh, I liked this one. I guess that means I'm LAX then ;)
 
Nerevar said:
only because Americans are a subset of the species of human beings.

Stupidity is not localized to any continent, unfortunately.

That is true, but New England fans are the dumbest subsection of humanity.
 
bionic77 said:
That is true, but New England fans are the dumbest subsection of humanity.

:lol

I don't know, I was in Faneuil Hall today and the fat, sweaty meat hounds from Virginia were about as clueless as you could get. It reminded me why I hate college football fans so much.
 
oooh, the passive aggressive 'we are better than them' anti-americanism surfaces again.

Say what you want about the Americans, they have my respect as a people. Warmest and most kind people I've met. They don't have the xenophobia of many Asian or culturally ancient countries. They are open to new peoples and exhibit none of the arrogance they are supposed to be guilty of. And yes, stupidity is the trait of all tourists.

A group of non-American white tourists were in such a hurry to get off the bus one time they forgot their luggage. I mean, jeeze, you're backpacking through Canada with a 20 pound baggage, wouldn't you notice you're 20 pounss lighter and can sprint twice as fast out of the bus than usual?
 
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