Squidward : I order the food, you cook the food. We do that for 40 years, and then we die.
Patrick : You're a man now, SpongeBob, and it's time you started acting like one.
SpongeBob : Yeah. Oh, but I'm not sure how.
Patrick : Allow me to demonstrate. First, puff out your chest.
[SpongeBob puffs out his chest]
Patrick : Now say, "tax exemption."
SpongeBob : Tax exemption.
Patrick : Now you must develop a taste for free-form jazz.
[Both listen intently to jazz music]
Patrick : Okay, you're ready.
Plankton : You can't do that to me. I went to college.
ManRay : Excuse me sir, but I believe you dropped your wallet.
Patrick : It doesn't look familiar to me.
ManRay : What? But I just saw you drop it. I am trying to be a good citizen, and return it to you.
Patrick : Return what to who?
ManRay : [Reaching into the wallet and pulling out Patrick's I. D] Are you a Mr. Patrick Starr?
Patrick : Yep.
ManRay : And this is your I. D.
Patrick : Yep.
ManRay : And I found it in this wallet, and therefore, this must be your wallet.
Patrick : Makes sense to me.
ManRay : So, take it.
Patrick : It's not mine.
Mr. Krabs : I didn't want to tell you this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Am I a pretty girl?
Mr. Krabs : Yes, yes, you're... you're beautiful.
Patrick : We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or hijacking, here. WE STOLE A BALLOON.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Let's think of some ideas to sell the chocolate bars.
Patrick : I know, let's get naked.
SpongeBob SquarePants : No, let's save that for when we sell real estate.
Patrick : I wanna defeat the giant monkey man and save the ninth dimension.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Me too. But that sounds a little too hard. Let's try smaller.
Patrick : I wanna defeat the little monkey man and save the eighth dimension.
SpongeBob Squarepants : But at least it's warm around the fire.
Patrick : Hey, if we're under water, how can there be a...
[Fire goes out]
Patrick : I'm scared, SpongeBob.
This one is great after the elections and all
[SpongeBob has shaped himself in the form of Texas to irritate Sandy]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Hey, Patrick. What am I?
Patrick : Stupid?
SpongeBob SquarePants : No, I'm Texas.
Patrick : What's the difference?