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Would someone's bisexuality make them undateable?

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It is a horrible stigma. And a very hurtful one.
 
dity said:
But you act like being bisexual is somehow a leading-in factor for a poly relationship coming into play. Considering they'd be briging them into the relationship and seem to already have some sort of relationship with said person of the same sex it seems to imply that you think cheating before they actually brought it up with you. Otherwise why would merely the mention of an open relationship cause you to break it off immediately without talking about it?

You mention straight girls now, but would you bringg up this boundry with them around the same time as a bisexual girl? What's "pretty early", and have you ever actually set said boundary in a relationship?
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I was more bringing that kind of thing up in response to some of what's been said in the thread as a hypothetical. And yeah, it's just one extra consideration. Sorry if that offends you or something, but I consider every factor I can. That's just how I am. Just like I considered my girlfriend's mental health needs and her history with suicide and if I'd be okay with that or not. It's one more thing to think about.

And yes, I set that boundary with my current girlfriend and I talked to her about it (and it was a non-issue since as I said, she's very straight). We both talked about what's okay and what's not within like the first month. I am not shy about sharing what I think or want or need from someone. It's not like I'd suddenly spring it on someone a year in.
 
I'm not bi myself but I don't think I would be able to date a girl who wouldn't date a guy who's bi. It's the 21st century yo

edit; so yes to the op's question lmao
 
GameAddict411 said:
I would never date a bisexual guy. Not because he is been with women, but because there will always be things that I just can't give him. This could lead to big problems in the future. You have to give the person a chance to explore what they want or it will end terribly. I can't deal with that sadly.
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For some bi people, they do have a need for experiences with more than one gender. But for other bi people, the sexual companionship is a need that can be met by one person of one gender. You could fulfil all of his needs.
 
Farsi said:
Nope. Wouldn't feel less of a man if she constantly cheated on me with other women either. Aslong as she doesn't sleep with other men, and doesn't catch feelings for these chicks it's all good.
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This is one of those stances I've seen before and is completely baffling to me. Why is that? Do you feel like women aren't "competition"?
 
SeanTSC said:
I was more bringing that kind of thing up in response to some of what's been said in the thread as a hypothetical. And yeah, it's just one extra consideration. Sorry if that offends you or something, but I consider every factor I can. That's just how I am. Just like I considered my girlfriend's mental health needs and her history with suicide and if I'd be okay with that or not. It's one more thing to think about.

And yes, I set that boundary with my current girlfriend and I talked to her about it (and it was a non-issue since as I said, she's very straight). We both talked about what's okay and what's not within like the first month. I am not shy about sharing what I think or want or need from someone. It's not like I'd suddenly spring it on someone a year in.
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I have some choice words about how you brought up mental health there, but that's probably not for this thread.

But yes, it sort-of offends me - because I had to push for you to go "oh um yeah I do it for straight girls too" (even though you've now said the open relationship thing was a non-issue because she's "very straight", the hell's that mean? Do you rather mean "very traditional"?). It wasn't a given.
 
These are just label terms for 'who do you want to have sex with'. I don't see it as important. Just be whoever the hell you want to be.
 
dity said:
I have some choice words about how you brought up mental health there, but that's probably not for this thread.

But yes, it sort-of offends me - because I had to push for you to go "oh um yeah I do it for straight girls too" (even though you've now said the open relationship thing was a non-issue because she's "very straight", the hell's that mean? Do you rather mean "very traditional"?). It wasn't a given.
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Well, I apologize that you took it that way. I'm sorry. I'm not always the most tactful person.
 
What the? Didn't I just see a statistic saying a large percentage of women look at gay porn?

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Anyways, like most things in life generations change, and what may seem like a big deal to women now may not seem such an issue in the future as these things become more and more common place.

The important thing is to be open and honest and make headway where available, same as every movement for acceptance.
 
Captcha said:
Let's be real, there's a stigma attached to male bisexuality. There seems to be more of a philia attached to female bisexuality. Just look to the responses in this thread. I always wished I was bi so that I could have more options, but it looks like a lot of women (may?) be closed off to the idea.
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You're only thinking of one kind of stigma. Bi women get stigmatized for being "fake."

icarus-daedelus said:
What if they don't want to get into a threesome with you, though?



There's really a multifold set of misconceptions attached to bisexuality, held by both straight and gay people and varying depending on which gender we're talking about. As a result I normally just keep my sexual identity close to my chest and allow people to make whatever assumptions they may, because it's easier than correcting whatever nonsense they might believe about bisexuality being equivalent to being a flighty cheating whore or a fake self-deluded gay or whatever.
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Don't forget "fake interest in women for the sake of arousing men".
 
It's kind of a shame how many assumptions there are about bisexuality. Too many people are way too insecure about their partner cheating just because they're attracted to two sexes.

My boyfriend is bisexual and whenever his sexuality is brought up I get the "so what is it like dating someone who's bi?" It's exactly the fucking the same in any relationship, whether you're monogamous or not. If anything I'm more greedy than my boyfriend since I crave attention way more than he does.

jesu said:
I wouldn't date a man that had slept with another man either.
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I don't get this either. I don't know if I could consider this homophobic or not, but what makes it so different with a guy/girl sleeping with the same sex, as opposed to the opposite sex?
 
dity said:
That's ok. It's a touchy subject for me as of late, too. So I apologise for being a bit forward.
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Nah, don't apologize for being forward. Being forward is good, especially on subjects related to gender or sexual preference inequality. I just came off as a jerk and I have problems communicating what I want to say with just typing.
 
Kisaya said:
It's kind of a shame how many assumptions there are about bisexuality. Too many people way too insecure about their partner cheating just because they're attracted to two sexes.

My boyfriend is bisexual and whenever his sexuality is brought up I get the "so what is it like dating someone who's bi?" It's exactly the fucking the same in any relationship, whether you're monogamous or not. If anything I'm more greedy than my boyfriend since I crave attention way more than he does.
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yeah lol, it's like because someone's attracted to 2 genders they're twice as likely to cheat or something

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jesu said:
from the OP
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yeah I got that, but aren't you a man? so either you wouldn't be dating men in the first place or you'd be dating men that had slept with men. I'm confused
 
PsychoWARD23 said:
yeah lol, it's like because someone's attracted to 2 genders they're twice as likely to cheat or something

CE65CFXUkAE4t9X.jpg
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It's the whole "greedy" assumption. It's weird.

Iunno, people just associate bisexuals with being polygamous, which definitely exists (and exists within every sexuality), and automatically just labels someone as one who is bisexual. It's fucked up.
 
Barrylocke said:
Unwillingness to date a bisexual is actually a thing on the homosexual side too. I've heard quite a few gays and lesbians who are weary to the idea of dating a bi/pan/more than just homosexual because they worry about them leaving them for the more conventional gender later for a more "normal" life, less stigma, a traditional way of having children and a family, etc.
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That actually hits home for me. I love my boyfriend, but I can't help to feel incredibly guilty that he can't have children with me. Especially when he expresses a clear want to.
I can't help but think that he'd be able to with a female partner, even though I know it's an unfair thought to have.
 
A Link to the Past said:
You're only thinking of one kind of stigma. Bi women get stigmatized for being "fake."



Don't forget "fake interest in women for the sake of arousing men".
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Yeah, I've gotten both of these. The one that bothers me the most is the inherent belief that I'm super promiscuous, or polygamous, purely because I'm bi. To the point of having men sexually assault me because 'You're bi, of course you'll enjoy it, you enjoy everyone.' I'm pretty well purely monogamous, and in person, pretty private about sexual matters, but, obviously, because I'm bi, I'm just faking that, or whatever
 
Hedge said:
That actually hits home for me. I love my boyfriend, but I can't help to feel incredibly guilty that he can't have children with me. Especially when he expresses a clear want to.
I can't help but think that he'd be able to with a female partner, even though I know it's an unfair thought to have.
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Now this is easy to solve through adoption and/or surrogate mothers.
 
PsychoWARD23 said:
yeah lol, it's like because someone's attracted to 2 genders they're twice as likely to cheat or something

CE65CFXUkAE4t9X.jpg



yeah I got that, but aren't you a man? so either you wouldn't be dating men in the first place or you'd be dating men that had slept with men. I'm confused
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My deadpan jokes don't work on the internet.
 
jeremy1456 said:
Oh if she was kissing other guys I would have just stopped dating her immediately.

We had to have a talk about it, and that prevented me from making her exclusive. It also kinda left me wondering when she was like "I'm going to go over to so-and-so's house for a few drinks" (a girl I saw her kiss).

Like I said, there's a double standard. Before this I thought it would be awesome to see a girl I was dating kiss another girl.

It wasn't a great situation and that's why we never were exclusive (and really she and I were just dating each other so it was close to being that) and why I decided we should just be friends.
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This.

Sounds great on paper. Then it happens. Unless you agreed on an open relationship it's a whole lotta nope.
 
GameAddict411 said:
I would never date a bisexual guy. Not because he is been with women, but because there will always be things that I just can't give him. This could lead to big problems in the future. You have to give the person a chance to explore what they want or it will end terribly. I can't deal with that sadly.
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Reading through older posts now, but why assume that he wants to explore other options? If he's committed to you, I bet he really doesn't fucking care about what the opposite sex could give him.
 
I dated a guy who was bisexual (or at least his okc profile said he was; we never discussed it because I didn't care and also we didn't get serious).

My only concern would be that he would decide he'd rather be with a man than me. But of course a heterosexual guy could decide he'd rather be with another woman so it's not really much different.
 
SeanTSC said:
Nah, don't apologize for being forward. Being forward is good, especially on subjects related to gender or sexual preference inequality. I just came off as a jerk and I have problems communicating what I want to say with just typing.
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Well, everything's good now.
 
Booser said:
This.

Sounds great on paper. Then it happens. Unless you agreed on an open relationship it's a whole lotta nope.
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I feel like if there wasn't an established stigma about girls kissing being 'hot' this wouldn't have been a problem.

Me being a heterosexual male she thought I would be okay with it because of this stigma.
 
Would someone possibly being attracted to other people on a basic level be a dealbreaker? Of course not. So what if he/she is attracted to both genders?
 
seriously though, is it misogynist and/or homophobic that people have a problem with a bisexual man sleeping with another man (to the extent that i hear it's just gross for them), but a chick kissing/fucking a chick is hot as hell? okay.
 
Hedge said:
He wants his own children, and surrogate mothership is illegal where I'm from, sadly. :(
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I cross my fingers for you both that it changes! There is of course always the option to move away but this your choice.
 
They have this question on OK Cupid and I don't think I have ever seen a woman answer yes to if they would date a man who had sex with the same sex. Most men predictably don't care.
 
My takeaway from this thread is that bisexuals seem to be very misunderstood by people who are not. I'm straight and monogamy is not at all important to me so the idea of "competing" with something I would not be able to offer is not an issue. It seems like leap of logic to assume that bisexuals would be less likely to be satisfied in a monogamous relationship since I would consider the capacity for more partners to be along the "polyamory" spectrum, not the bisexual spectrum. Along the same lines I don't think being either polyamorous or bisexual would make you any less or more likely to cheat.
 
Drinkel said:
My takeaway from this thread is that bisexuals seem to be very misunderstood by people who are not. I'm straight and monogamy is not at all important to me so the idea of "competing" with something I would not be able to offer is not an issue. It seems like leap of logic to assume that bisexuals would be less likely to be satisfied in a monogamous relationship since I would consider the capacity for more partners to be along the "polyamory" spectrum, not the bisexual spectrum. Along the same lines I don't think being either polyamorous or bisexual would make you any less or more likely to cheat.
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This. The real question is when will society stop seeing bisexuality = polygamy?
 
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