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[Widfara]

Maddox had an article like this a while back, and he speaks the truth. Last night I watched some shitty show entitled Laguna Beach on MTV. The males on that show have got to be females, I swear. They wear their cool clothes, go surfing, talk and giggle with the girls, talk about shitty fucking relationships with other rich girls, relationships that don't fucking matter. They use their cell phones to call females and ask ridiculous questions, like "how's it going?" or "what are you doing now?" or "I had fun yesterday" or "I miss you, let's talk." Where the FUCK did real men go?

This is a description of the pirate Henry Morgan, whom the rum Captain Morgan is named after. "lean, sallow coloured, his eyes a little yellowish and belly jutting out or prominent, not being able to abstain from company, he was given to drinking and staying up late... the result dropsy, falling after into his old course of life and given to mammoth drinking bouts his belly swelled so not to be contained by his coat."

These men roam the planet in few numbers these day. They have been overtaken by pussies.

 

[iapetus]

Yeah, it turned out that being a dick wasn't a strong evolutionary trait. Who'd have thought it?

 

[OpinionatedCyborg]

You're just bitter because the pussies are getting the pussy.

 

[Instigator]

Some of us real men are still here, fighting the good fight.

 

[Hitokage]

Homosexuals, Metrosexuals and their combined agenda to destroy all that is decent must be stopped!

 

[argon]

This has been happening since the end of the 90s, arguably the last bastion of real manhood in pop culture.

it all started with the chick-voice. You know what i'm talking about. Those guys who bifurcate their vocal patterns based on the gender of the person on the other line. Call them up and they sound like Stallone, but if their girlfriend (or any girl) calls them, its this harmless pre-pubescent voice and demeanor that makes you cringe like no other.

the chick-voice really opened the floodgates to pussification. now take a stroll to any "trendy" clothing store and its all bright pink and pastel fluffy frills and sunshine prints. and for each peice of clothing giving you the honor of looking like a tool, you're charged $80-100. thats why i shop mostly at target.

 

[fart]

shut the fuck up

 

[WrathOfOtaibah]

This forum is full of self hating, misandrist men so this thread will not end in your favor.

 

[White Man]

IM A MAN

 

[ZombieSupaStar]

I think emo dudes are fucking hilarious girls are ok, guys ugh.... go lift some weights, get that 5 o'clock shadow going on (real stubble not peachy fuzz).




edit:


I would post emo guy pictures but if you type that in google image search you get a boatload of results of guys kissing each other so yeah....

 

[temp]

I'm a man. I'm a Kirk Douglas man.

 

[Diablos]

IM A MAN

Ok. Screen name?

 

[tt_deeb]

Real men wear pink bitch!

 

[pollo]

post modern man = pussy

 

[Incognito]

Maddox had an article like this a while back, and he speaks the truth. Last night I watched some shitty show entitled Laguna Beach on MTV. The males on that show have got to be females, I swear. They wear their cool clothes, go surfing, talk and giggle with the girls, talk about shitty fucking relationships with other rich girls, relationships that don't fucking matter. They use their cell phones to call females and ask ridiculous questions, like "how's it going?" or "what are you doing now?" or "I had fun yesterday" or "I miss you, let's talk." Where the FUCK did real men go?

This is a description of the pirate Henry Morgan, whom the rum Captain Morgan is named after. "lean, sallow coloured, his eyes a little yellowish and belly jutting out or prominent, not being able to abstain from company, he was given to drinking and staying up late... the result dropsy, falling after into his old course of life and given to mammoth drinking bouts his belly swelled so not to be contained by his coat."

These men roam the planet in few numbers these day. They have been overtaken by pussies.

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

 

[Desperado]

They use their cell phones to call females and ask ridiculous questions, like "how's it going?" or "what are you doing now?" or "I had fun yesterday" or "I miss you, let's talk."

:lol This has to be a joke.

 

[Diablos]

Widfara sounds like such a manly name.

 

[ForzaItalia]

where the FUCK did real men go?

They're the ones banging the girls as the "friends" keep calling them.

 

[Agent Dormer]

Suburbia has forced men to become less manly. The only way to escape this situation is to go out into the country and face a life or death experience. If you life isn't on the line, it's not going to elevate you to where you want to be as a "real" man.

 

[Triumph]

This is a description of the pirate Henry Morgan, whom the rum Captain Morgan is named after. "lean, sallow coloured, his eyes a little yellowish and belly jutting out or prominent, not being able to abstain from company, he was given to drinking and staying up late... the result dropsy, falling after into his old course of life and given to mammoth drinking bouts his belly swelled so not to be contained by his coat."

These men roam the planet in few numbers these day. They have been overtaken by pussies.

That sounds like me!

Seriously tho, I think the vaginification of the American Male is the worst thing ever. Don't talk about your feelings, pussy- do the civilized thing and beat the shit out of your friend for fun.

 

[Killkernal]

I am here, Widfara.

Wanna wrassle??

 

[Ninja Scooter]

i would act like a sissy if it meant i could get some of the ass on that show. There's some sweet jailbait in that there Laguna Beach.

 

[Alyssa Hu$tle]

Yeah, it turned out that being a dick wasn't a strong evolutionary trait. Who'd have thought it?

:lol :lol :lol

 

[Drensch]

I think they died off when they started watching shit like Laguna beach.

 

[Mr. Spinnington]

i would act like a sissy if it meant i could get some of the ass on that show. There's some sweet jailbait in that there Laguna Beach.

Guys, he's right.

 

[Litigation Manuel]

And what ever happened to poetry? You used to have to be a manly man to write poetry; weathered, rough and tough. But now it's so sissy! I want my manly poets back!

Spoiler

You can't help but sound a little homosexual demanding the return of manly men :lol

 

[etiolate]

I have a pirate hat, a pirate patch, a pirate SWORD and massive bags under my eyes, along with a drinking habbit.


YAAaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRrrrrrr, who wants to play dolls?

 

[ZombieSupaStar]

a little part of me died when my cousin who happened to work at abercrombie says he uses CONCEALER if he has a pimple.....




you know what I used when I had a pimple in high school?

2 fingers and then later some rubbing alcohol

 

[Excess Poo Flakes]

I agree, characteristically male traits are fading.

I like to keep it real every once in a while by doing the Danza Slap.

 

[Trident]

You're watching MTV and posting on a videogame message board and complaining that other men aren't manly enough?

 

[whytemyke]

I'm a real man! I call up my bitches and be like, "YO WHERE MY MONEY BITCH ITS A HARD LIFE FOR A NIGGA IN THE STREETS!" then I whoop that trick.

 

[The Take Out Bandit]

I'm covered in mechanical grease and listening to metal right now!

MAYYYYYYAAAAAAWN!!!!!

Zombie doesn't count. He wears leather hot-pants, and not in the HEAVY METAL way either.

 

[MIMIC]

BTW, Laguna Beach is one of the worst shows on television.

 

[VALIS]

Guys, he's right.

Eh. Sex is awesome but the amount of guys out there who'll act like minty fresh pussies in order to get some is really quite sad. But then a lot of people here are teens/early 20's where I'm 33. I'll still take it whenever I can get it, but getting laid isn't so all-consuming anymore.

 

[etiolate]

Yeah, why are you watching prime time soap operas?

 

[hXc_thugg]

Stephen x LC 4 ever

 

[Ninja Scooter]

Stephen x LC 4 ever

stephen's a bitch. He had both of those girls all over him and fucked it up twice.

 

[Sweet Prince]

yeah, screw those pussy Laguna Beach guys. sure, they got to have sex with beautiful rich girls, but at what cost?!

 

[hXc_thugg]

stephen's a bitch. He had both of those girls all over him and fucked it up twice.

But he's so dreamy!

 

[Ninja Scooter]

But he's so dreamy!

if he's so dreamy he should have boned that one hot girl, the one with the big mouth, instead he got all whiny about her and now he calls her and is all like "uhh sooo uhhh...bye" and meanwhile she's moved on to some other dude OOOHH IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY!

 

[Drinky Crow]

REAL men should never shop for clothes. They should never give a fuck what brand their shoes are -- ideally, they're wearing the same boots they used to crush a cougar's head with the day previous -- and they have no fucking opinion on fashion, music or anime.

Bein' a dude is about pure, unrepentant stoicism and a complete inability to be moved by one's environment or peers. It's also about biting a shark's face off and then drinking a keg of Jack Daniels to celebrate.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

REAL men should never shop for clothes. They should never give a fuck what brand their shoes are -- ideally, they're wearing the same boots they used to crush a cougar's head with the day previous -- and they have no fucking opinion on fashion, music or anime.

Bein' a dude is about pure, unrepentant stoicism and a complete inability to be moved by one's environment or peers. It's also about biting a shark's face off and then drinking a keg of Jack Daniels to celebrate.

and trolling nintendo fans. How could you forget that, drinky?

 

[Drinky Crow]

Surliness is part of a REAL MAN's acumen. Bitch.

 

[karasu]

shut the fuck up

I second this, and I'll add a 'silly bitch'.

 

[Incognito]

i don't think stephen's to blame for the fallout with kristin. she's a real fucking bitch, but she's hot. thus the conundrum.

i really wish he would speak up, though. half the time he's goddamn mumbling and i can't understand a fucking word.

 

[etiolate]

These days all the manly men hang out at docking parties.

 

[hXc_thugg]

Kristin needs to get raped by a beach hobo. That will put her in her place.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

i don't think stephen's to blame for the fallout with kristin. she's a real fucking bitch, but she's hot. thus the conundrum.

i really wish he would speak up, though. half the time he's goddamn mumbling and i can't understand a fucking word.

stephen's coming off as a real pussy in this 2nd season. Whats up with that Colin Ferrel looking dude? He's cheating on his hot girlfriend with some uglies and fatties.

 

[hXc_thugg]

That Jason guy looks about 12 years older than he really is. When he is 30 he is going to look so horrible.

 

[whytemyke]

REAL men should never shop for clothes. They should never give a fuck what brand their shoes are -- ideally, they're wearing the same boots they used to crush a cougar's head with the day previous -- and they have no fucking opinion on fashion, music or anime.

Bein' a dude is about pure, unrepentant stoicism and a complete inability to be moved by one's environment or peers. It's also about biting a shark's face off and then drinking a keg of Jack Daniels to celebrate.

So basically they're republicans? (lets face it... it was only a matter of time before someone here brought politics into the manliness debate.)

Anyways, fuck that noise. I care about what shoes I buy cuz I don't want total shit. I don't go buy Sketchers cuz they're sketchers, but I do prefer Nike or Reebok because I've never had a pair break down on me without at least getting a couple years out of them first. so yeah... guess i'm not a man....

...which is why I feel bloated and moody.