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[Smiles and Cries]

Okay new GAF Girlfriend thread. Long Story so go get some coffee or something...

How I got OWNED last night.

the history...

My friend is a 26 year old Christian who is saving herself for Marriage. Oh nos.

I have been friends with this girl since 1998 but because of her strong religious beliefs we not very compatible, totally different people with very different lifestyles.

I became a Christian when I was in Art School but I ended up joining a very strict Church that everyone considers a cult (International Church of Christ - ICC - google it)

So when I dropped out of it after a year and a half of almost becoming a Preacher myself, I stopped calling myself a Christian.

I am an artist a free spirit I no longer valued Christian Doctrine
At some point I even thought about dropping the belief of God out of my thinking

But this Girl! Her Father was a Preacher, he died a few years before I became her friend, she is so into her Church unlike her older sister, her younger sister, and her older brother who are all believers but do not act as extreme as her, they date and have normal desires you find in the world.

She will not hold hands with a guy, she will not date, she really never wanted to get married.

We met at the library, I saw her she was cute so I talked to her and we exchanged numbers - she was very curious about me and called me often to talk. later on when I tried to ask her out she would just shoot me down, "No, I only like you as a friend, I never went to a movie in my life!"

She is a very likable and caring person. But it started to get to me after a few months of feelings building up... she was a virgin anyway to get with her means a commitment so since I honestly was not looking at my heart much at the time, I decided it would be best for her for me to leave her alone and not cause her trouble. So I tried to end the friendship but she would not let up.

So after hanging out with me for a bit in 2000 I cursed her out to hurt her feelings and hung up the phone and never looked back. It was mean but it was the only way to get rid of her, I found her annoying after a while to be honest.

now to Sept 30, 2004
an email
"To the person I never got to know, I enjoyed seeing your art hope you are well."

Finding the name shocking I emailed her back.

it took a few months for her to reply.

Started coming around again. Started fighting about religious belief again... I started asking her to leave again... she will not leave.

WHY? She cannot answer. She just feels there was a reason we met at the library that day and she just can't walk away.

I started to have feelings for her and started feeling why am I not a Christian?

Why was she coming around so much, all we do is talk and all she does is question me about beliefs. All I do is tell her look I am an Artists and Lustful person, you should not be here. We are not compatible.

I remained friendly, I have yet to apologize for cursing her out years ago, not going to.
But I started to be honest with her about where I stand with my spirituality, told her she has been around for months now and acting like my girlfriend things like cooking for me when she comes over so we should date. She said she can't answer that.


weeks later
She invited me to a movie

Thursday this week.
Mr. and Mrs. Smith

She had no idea that they would be shooting, but it seemed she enjoyed herself.
I was pretty bored because I did not know what to laugh at her watching that or the idea of sitting with a girl I can't touch at a movie.

10:30pm after the movie. She wanted to get food to we had take-out at a local place.
She really wanted to eat it in the car it seems so we started then she dropped her plastic fork, she could not eat.

Parked outside my building I offered she come up. She has come around late at night before and we always talk sitting or standing 10 feet apart anyway. I tease her all the time but never anything serious.

So blah blah blah... she says... "I would like to take the next step with you"

What?

After a long silence she says "I love you"

I have been telling her that a few weeks ago she would just say "Um, Thank You."

So oh okay I love you too.

I asked her, uhmm what do we do now shake hands?

She said she would like to dance with me...
(that movie was on her mind, thank you Angelina Jolie, I guess?)

Walked over to my powerbook sellected Duke Ellington and John Coltrane's "In a Sentimental Mood" and hit the loop button on iTunes...

She can't dance so we just made circles holding each other just swaying...

After a few loops of the music she gave me deeper hugs... I felt she wanted to kiss me...
I kissed her.

"She said she did not know what she was doing..."
(last week I teased her that I knew she does not know how to kiss)
Well its true she does not know how to... But she was trying... so I just kissed her my way.

Danced and kissed to the same song until 2:30am when I walked her to her car.
Did not even touch any part of her that would take it beyond a kiss for her.
I am never like this, normally women do not leave my place without having sex.
I love having sex.

I guess I really cared for her feelings and her beliefs.

----

She came by again after an 11 hour shift at the hospital she works at last night.

Talked, Danced and Kissed again... this time she was losing control she wanted more but I did not take advantage of it even though I was hurting badly in my jeans. Still I did not act on it... after all these years I have been with enough women I really don't need her as a conquest.

She told me she feels as if she is competing with women of my past and that she thinks she will bore me because she does not even know how to kiss.

She told me how crazy she is for doing this, and marriage, marriage, marriage!

I asked her why do you want to skip dating to marriage?
Her answer... "I do not date! This is a sin, I'm crazy."

Me: "Its midnight, you should get home let me walk you out."
Her: "Can I stay 15 more minutes?"
Me: "Sure..."

She ended up staying another 2 hours.

talked about her church... marriage kids... my lifestyle... and the fact she never desired sex.... told me how my earring was against her Church... took it off and gave it to her after telling her my earring has nothing to do with what kind of heart I have. I told her to face the facts that I am not the kind of man she should be with.

She did not take it saying she does not want to change me but she wants to marry me.

So during the talk she tells me at her Church is very strict even at weddings they are not allowed to kiss.

There is NO YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE

me: what are you a Mormon? Amish?

This is great, I am so fucked... I have really deep feelings for this girl and I can see having a family with her but I have to face her Church for the rest of my life if this keeps up.

What hell am I doing?
I told her she was safe with me and I will not take it beyond what her beliefs about sex and marriage.

Why am I being so pure around her?
I could have had her... I touched her breast last night she did not even stop me at all but I stopped what the hell is going on with me?

Me: I think I will ask you to marry me someday... If I had a ring I would do it now.
Her: Called my bluff, You don't need a ring.
Me: (it was not a bluff... I found myself on my knees and her saying yes.)

I walked her to her car.
Her... "Can we dance again tomorrow?"
Me... yeah

WTF just happened?

She is like a little kid and I am babying her.
I have never been with a girl like her so I guess something in me wants to keep her a virgin, yet I am drawn to the idea of having a cool little family with her... This is NUTS.
I should have never let her back into my life, I'm going to end up causing this girl some serious issues.

One thing I left out, during the years after I cursed her out and hung up that phone, she was engaged to a Brother at her Church. It did not work out because something about him scared her she said. He has a calling to become a Preacher and told her that his wife should stay home and support his goals when she told him of her with to continue school and go for her Masters. He also has a lot of issues with anger.

How can I be any better? Why did she go from I like you as a friend to we better get married soon because I get moist around you and I can't stand to wait any longer?

So place your bets... will I become a good Christian?

Or will I break my promise to her "She is Safe with Me" and have sex with her?

This is going to end bad no matter how I look at it, I think I have built up to much resentment towards dogma for this to turn out okay... I think her Church sounds ignorant with the laws they seem to have. You may not kiss the Bride?

Do I love her? Yes... She is woman I loved enough to walk away from so I would not cause her any harm. What she gets from that Church seems to be the glue that keeps her together take that away she will have nothing. I really can't take that away from her.

here is why I think her friend barrier broke down:
When I told her of my spirituality, I told her I see God as my favorite Artist, I look at a Sunset, a Sunrise and see his paintings and I know he exist but that does not make me a Christian. God is my favorite Artist.

So a week later a guest speaker at her Church visiting from Africa gave a sermon about how his son is a painter and how God is an Artist. She took down the notes of what this guy had to say and compared them with my emails. She realized God wants us to be together? otay.

Sorry for the long story but I just needed it to make sense.

I could be a real bad guy here but she does not deserve any dishonesty from me that is way I never pretended to be pure around her and always told her I was far from a Christian. Still what do I do? I may not cause her any harm but I feel I may end up being the one harmed by all of this. She seems so devoted and willing to please me now sheesh the best possible wife a man could ask for I see in her.

I should be happy... I could have her if I wish, but I'm worried.
This would be awesome without the differences in lifestyles.

She will be here at 8pm tonight after another 11 hour shift at the hospital
We need to have a long talk...

 

[radioheadrule83]

I can't even imagine what that whole experience is like. I've never met anyone that religiously devout in my life.

I'm no expert on stuff okay? I'm not really good at anything. I'm a social mess. You'll get no cocky funny stuff out of me. But I'll react accordingly to the story as I see it:

You keep telling her that you're not the man for her even though, it sounds this way - you like her. That could be a mistake if she suddenly starts listening after all this time and emotional investment.

Don't go completely out of your way to coddle this girl, but if you're not against meeting with her and discussing your views like this etc. why not keep at it and maybe something will happen? And I'm not talking about easing the pain in your jeans.. I mean maybe she'll resolve whatever conflict with her beliefs she's having one way or the other and you'll know where you stand.

The story was cute. A bit icky really.
She might well be too clingy.
But some people might be envious of such a thing. I wouldn't say no to someone like that in my life atm though.

 

[Dilbert]

If someone is THAT religious, and you are not, it's pretty much doomed.

 

[Deku]

It is really simple. If you're just no religious and she is very religious, there will be a lot of friction later on.

If you have kids, will your kids be raised like her or like what you want? How about the in-laws meddling?

There has to be a compromise, a mutual understanding, or one of you have to give up your lifestyle and assimilate into the other.

Save yourself a lot of pain later and examine this. Are you or her willing to give up your lifestyle for the other? for the next 10, 20, 50 years? If not, is there ground for compromise?

If no compromise is possible, then there is no hope it will work long term.

 

[maharg]

Doomed.

 

[shuri]

Sorry to be a dick, but it's obvious by the way you talk that you are pretty much hanging out with her for the challenge of banging an ultra religious woman. It's all tha is on your mind And you're gonna be in a world of hurt if those problems with her church are such a drag already on you.

You can find other girls.

 

[GSG Flash]

Dude, you have one complicated love life.

If someone is THAT religious, and you are not, it's pretty much doomed.

Not necessarily, a marriage between two opposite people in terms of religious belief and spirituality COULD work out, but cahnces are that there will be some hardships later on in the marriage.

My advice? How much do you actually love her, that is probably the key thing in a successful marriage and the way you stopped yourself from touching her inappropriately, do you feel that you will do the same if you get married to her?

 

[Jewbacca]

Did someone call?!... oh nevermind :<

This reminds me of A Walk to Remember.

You just need to talk to her and its seems like you have no fucking clue what she wants and you need to slap that out of her.

 

[demi]

Become scientologists.


Does she like nintendogs?

 

[Smiles and Cries]

I agree with all the doomed talk I know it from the very start

It is really simple. If you're just no religious and she is very religious, there will be a lot of friction later on.

If you have kids, will your kids be raised like her or like what you want? How about the in-laws meddling?

There has to be a compromise, a mutual understanding, or one of you have to give up your lifestyle and assimilate into the other.

Save yourself a lot of pain later and examine this. Are you or her willing to give up your lifestyle for the other? for the next 10, 20, 50 years? If not, is there ground for compromise?

If no compromise is possible, then there is no hope it will work long term.

About compromise I feel it would be for me to do so, like I said I joined I church before and was a christian before... but being an artist is my focus now. I can see much conflict ahead.

I can compromise, I can see myself going to church with her as a husband, I can see myself allowing our children to have Christian values.

The reason I see that I can do this is because I have been around with many different types of women and I have had a whole lot of sex but non of those relationships ever worked out so I find myself curious about a pure relationship like this.

Then again I'm still who I am, I'm not a shy humble Christian, I'm grown ass man with many desires and a limitless spirit. So maybe I can see myself playing that role but I would never become that person, I can't live a lie.

so yeah Doomed!

 

[GhaleonEB]

Yeah, that's complicated. I'd say you need to either get on the same page or take her off of yours.

I'm Mormon, and my wife and I waited until we were married to have sex. I was 21, she was 22. In the car on the way away from the temple we were sitting in the back seat of a car together. She quitely took my hand and slid it up her skirt.

It was the most electric moment of my LIFE. That dam burst, and hasn't slowed down since. Been married six years as of May.

In other words, some things are worth waiting for.

 

[mattx5]

Not to be daft, but what denomination of Christians don't date or kiss?

 

[Litigation Manuel]

Just date her for a while. Don't marry her, at least not at this stage. None of these issues will go away, and it'll be better to work them out now than in marriage, if anything does go wrong and you can't work something out, something tells me her church doesn't look too favorably on ending a marriage. If you get along and find yourselves attracted to each other, maybe it could work. Just date for a while, keep talking like how you are, there's a chance you could work things out. Right now, it doesn't sound like it would work, you both have very separate views and hers sound very strict. If it does work out, one of you will have to change, and it likely wouldn't do you good to change yours considering the strictness of her church. Although, check on how her church views marriages with someone of different faith, maybe you can keep what you believe and it could work out.

 

[B'z-chan]

Maybe you should take her away from the church on a sunday (or whenever the cult meets) Maybe she can see living her life is what her focus should be on. And shouldnt be influenced by such tight limits. If god didnt want you to do it he wouldnt have put you on this planet, thats my thought.

She is confused, and needs some help. Its not doomed to say you cant have a open relationship with her. You just need to cut the church out of the relationship. Thats whats holding her back.

You two would most likely have a healthy "normal" relationship if that was done and you still kept to your guns about her being pure and all.

BURN THE CHURCH

 

[Smiles and Cries]

Dude, you have one complicated love life.



Not necessarily, a marriage between two opposite people in terms of religious belief and spirituality COULD work out, but cahnces are that there will be some hardships later on in the marriage.

My advice? How much do you actually love her, that is probably the key thing in a successful marriage and the way you stopped yourself from touching her inappropriately, do you feel that you will do the same if you get married to her?

Great question... I do not think I can limit myself with my wife

Sorry to be a dick, but it's obvious by the way you talk that you are pretty much hanging out with her for the challenge of banging an ultra religious woman. It's all tha is on your mind And you're gonna be in a world of hurt if those problems with her church are such a drag already on you.

Are you serious? I avoid them like they have a disease, what's the challenge really, I think they are easy to tell you the truth. They are so sin-focused that it would be easy if that was my intention.

Note that this girl kept coming back.

 

[Escape Goat]

I just read about 1/3rd of your original post and its already too complicated.

Abort.

 

[demi]

hello

nintendogs

yes or no

 

[maharg]

Basically, you want what you can't have and she wants to marry you just so you can fuck her. Her inexperience is causing her to confuse sexual desire with love, and you're getting sucked right into it. It's no more complicated than that, and there's no way this will end with roses and puppies.

 

[GhaleonEB]

NM

 

[Smiles and Cries]

hello

nintendogs

yes or no

I have not shown her my DS yet

 

[GaimeGuy]

Abort Mission

 

[boutrosinit]

Wow brother. My heart goes out to you. That shit sounds tough.

 

[radioheadrule83]

These guys have been meeting just to dance. Granted that seems more her thing, but it's obvious they both wanna be closer.

She might well want stuff to happen as much as he does. And if that's the case what the fuck does this church thing have to do with anything?

If she acts against the Church's fucking rediculous rules (I'm not talking about sex before marriage here... meeting to dance and kiss is a fucking sin? Give me a break!) and has a problem with that later on, maybe it'll make her reflect on it a bit more instead of just blindly accepting it. If she still finds she thinks it was a sin... she can always confess Besides he wouldn't be forcing her to do anything.

 

[CabbageRed]

I didn't read through the replies but being wildly religious and seeing patterns is usually cause to hit the alarm and bail out.

Also, it sounds like part of you is gearing up for a family-orientated life but might not be there yet? Perhaps you have imagined aspects of a life with her that are pleasing to you but are not at a point where the commitment really makes sense?

 

[maharg]

These guys have been meeting just to dance. Granted that seems more her thing, but it's obvious they both wanna be closer.

She might well want stuff to happen as much as he does. And if that's the case what the fuck does this church thing have to do with anything?

If she acts against the Church's fucking rediculous rules (I'm not talking about sex before marriage here... meeting to dance and kiss is a fucking sin? Give me a break!) and has a problem with that later on, maybe it'll make her reflect on it a bit more instead of just blindly accepting it. If she still finds she thinks it was a sin... she can always confess Besides he wouldn't be forcing her to do anything.

a) She wants to 'get closer' to him, and to her the only acceptable way to do so is to marry him. In order to get closer, she has to make the ultimate commitment. This is pretty obviously a precarious position.
b) Being a catalyst for leaving a church is asking for pain. She's comfortable where she is, and if she starts questioning her faith because of him, it could easily lead to resentment of him.

Have you ever known anyone who was formerly a member of a zealous religion? The scars of being in one as well as those of leaving never really go away. Putting two people for whom these are major issues in a relationship makes them a fault line. If they agreed in principle on these issues, then they could bring them closer together. In this case, it's only going to hurt.

 

[Smiles and Cries]

These guys have been meeting just to dance. Granted that seems more her thing, but it's obvious they both wanna be closer.

She might well want stuff to happen as much as he does. And if that's the case what the fuck does this church thing have to do with anything?

If she acts against the Church's fucking rediculous rules (I'm not talking about sex before marriage here... meeting to dance and kiss is a fucking sin? Give me a break!) and has a problem with that later on, maybe it'll make her reflect on it a bit more instead of just blindly accepting it. If she still finds she thinks it was a sin... she can always confess Besides he wouldn't be forcing her to do anything.

Yeah she blindly accepts all these things as gold.

We have talked for months about how I think this Church has harmed her, I was in a Cult I see the same things in that kind of blind devotion. But she also felt I was satan at one point so I am not sure what changes she is willing to make. Maybe I am the anti-christ.

I would not have posted this thread it I knew this was going to end well I know better than that so tonight I just need to talk to her. I am not sure how it will go.

I like maharg's post I will point that out to her. Anyway to me she is in love with a Church not with God. I will not follow her into something like that.

 

[ChrisReid]

Don't worry, if you're not sure what to do, just remember

 

[GG-Duo]

IMO, I think that _if_ you decide to leave her, be careful as she might be emotionally shattered cuz of it...

 

[Ghost]

Ive met a couple of girls who've said "no sex before marriage" but they've all given up on that after a few weeks of going out (peer presure, 'aint it great!). So i can almost symphise. But not quite.


Did i read it wrong or are you now engaged to this girl?

Dude no. Just no.


If dating is a sin, just imagine what else is gonna be a sin when you're married, Everything you do will be a sin.



Best bet imo, if you really love her, is to try and corrupt her, ie Take advantage. Otherwise it'll never last.

 

[Smiles and Cries]

I didn't read through the replies but being wildly religious and seeing patterns is usually cause to hit the alarm and bail out.

Also, it sounds like part of you is gearing up for a family-orientated life but might not be there yet? Perhaps you have imagined aspects of a life with her that are pleasing to you but are not at a point where the commitment really makes sense?

Without the beliefs issue it would be a very easy commitment for me, I had enough craziness I turn 32 this year. I need to chill the hell out and settle down in the next few years that is what I have been thinking since my last break up two years ago.

I also need to tell you guys I have not had sex for over two years now. So this is not about sex for me.

I turned down some love making booty call from an ex-girlfriend a month ago I think I posted a thread about that. I did end up not going through with it.

So yeah I was looking for something with a little more substance this time around.

 

[Smiles and Cries]

IMO, I think that _if_ you decide to leave her, be careful as she might be emotionally shattered cuz of it...

That has never left my mind I think about that a lot. I never wanted to cause this girl harm.
I should have kept her away when she was not feeling things like this.

 

[eLGee]

This is how I see it:

You've listened to your heart and decided to become an artist and not to be a puppet of your religious belief. That's cool.

This girl, it's obvious that she wants more from you, and it's against what her church want. She's not listening to her heart, like she should.

I think, under no circumstances should a church, religion or whatever tell a woman or a man what to do if it's against what you feel in your heart. It's a sort of compromise that I think is fair and good, and she needs to listen to what she feels, not what her church feels about her actions.

 

[Monk]

If this doesn't help your art, I don't think you should be an artist. :lol

 

[gigapower]

It'll end in tears.

 

[Days like these...]

what about compromosing and joining a less radical, less strict but still christian religion?

 

[Smiles and Cries]

what about compromosing and joining a less radical, less strict but still christian religion?

I don't think she is Christianity focused like she could leave her Church for another.
She told me she wanted to to find a new Job in NY just to be closer to her Church. She loves that Church she would not leave it, she talks about conventions and church retreats, she has history there, strong bonds, its like breaking up someones family... I will not bring that up then I would be to blame if I asked.

I would be fine in a non-cult like environment though.

 

[Monk]

Best bet imo, if you really love her, is to try and corrupt her, ie Take advantage. Otherwise it'll never last.

... WTF? That's cold. Atleast just give her an ultimatum that you can't stay with her if she stays with this particular church.

Everyone has a right to their beliefs dammit, it's wrong to make a person do something against their beliefs.

 

[Azih]

Right her dream scenario is that you convert fully, get married, she gets boned and then lives happily ever after with puppies and flowers and a family that goes to all the retreats and prays and spends all of Sunday at Church.

So that's what she wants, What the hell do you want?

 

[Dsal]

Perhaps doomed... but...

I used to be a hardcore fundamentalist Christian and now.. heh.. I'm the precise opposite. Sometimes people are trapped in religions that they never thought through because they're too scared to think about it and are afraid of the truth.

I'm not sure how realistic it is to expect her to meet you halfway on these things, but it seems like she's obviously having some sort of second thoughts about the bullshit strictness of her religion if she's spending so much time with someone who was strong enough to leave it.

I wouldn't bet money on this working out or anything, but it's up to you if you want to see where it goes for a while. Just don't compromise your new religious integrity for it, and that strength can be an inspiration for her.

 

[Ghost]

... WTF? That's cold. Atleast just give her an ultimatum that you can't stay with her if she stays with this particular church.

Everyone has a right to their beliefs dammit, it's wrong to make a person do something against their beliefs.

Imo. Its pretty clear thats what she wants from the wa S&C has described it. Taking advantage isnt really the right phrase, its more like setting her free.

If she was truly clear in her beliefs she wouldnt be coming to him saying this stuff.

 

[Papi]

I don't know why but i laughed a few times during your story. ClearType made your story easy to read.

I reckon she'll leave her Church in a few months... Or it's doomed.

 

[MrPing1000]

There is only one thing to do.

you will need

fake blood

horns

red body paint

a "6" stencil


that should do it

 

[Neo_ZX]

I stopped reading after the end of the dancing. From what I have gathered she is crazy. That is all.

 

[Smiles and Cries]

Right her dream scenario is that you convert fully, get married, she gets boned and then lives happily ever after with puppies and flowers and a family that goes to all the retreats and prays and spends all of Sunday at Church.

So that's what she wants, What the hell do you want?

I have an hour left to make up my mind. she will be here at 8

There is no fighting it... this is her Father's Church he was a Preacher of his own Church in NY who is also part of this sect. He died in an accident, she admires her father greatly, she said her father would not approve of her being with me if he was still alive. Her first name is Marie her Middle name is Esther, biblical names... I'm talking about this is all she has known.

Could I give her all that and deny myself maybe... I don't think I need to rush a rejection just yet because I do really care for her. I need to at least attend her Church once to see if it is something I can do for the next 10, 20, 50 years.

So tonight just talk, next take a few steps to explore what I am willing to give up for her.

Funny how I can't seem to find someone that I don't have to compromise for, yet when it all comes down to it she has not asked me to stop being an artist, she does not like my nudes because she thinks they are not suitable for children's eyes. Can I focus my art on something else sure, do I want that as a limit no, it kinda gives me the creeps to even think of censoring my work.

When I think of how extremely limited she can be it scares me.

DOOMED

 

[MrPing1000]

one word dinosaurs

 

[Smiles and Cries]

Perhaps doomed... but...

I used to be a hardcore fundamentalist Christian and now.. heh.. I'm the precise opposite. Sometimes people are trapped in religions that they never thought through because they're too scared to think about it and are afraid of the truth.

I'm not sure how realistic it is to expect her to meet you halfway on these things, but it seems like she's obviously having some sort of second thoughts about the bullshit strictness of her religion if she's spending so much time with someone who was strong enough to leave it.

I wouldn't bet money on this working out or anything, but it's up to you if you want to see where it goes for a while. Just don't compromise your new religious integrity for it, and that strength can be an inspiration for her.

thanks man that helps a lot. I need to stick to my guns

 

[WrathOfOtaibah]

No kissing? Screw that crap.

I'm Catholic but pretty much in name only. I attend church and believe in many things about it but I'm not going to devote my life to the Vatican.

I have nothing intelligent to add here so I'm out.

 

[Slurpy]

I'd say let go. She seems to be very confused, perhaps insecure, and the type that could get attached to you and cause you problems, not accepting 'no' for an answer.

Youc choice though. But I think Ive seen the type.

 

[Mr. E. Yis]

So tonight just talk, next take a few steps to explore what I am willing to give up for her.

What the hell? You're asking for a lifetime of pain, regret, and a 1inch leash on everything you do and think.

 

[Azala]

I've been in your shoes, and I'll make it simple (as my longer post got eaten by my computer), back out gently and gracefully and run for the hills. You really don't want this in your future. There is absolutely no way this will end well.