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You may NOT kiss the Bride? (a GAF girlfriend thread)
- Thread starter Smiles and Cries
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Kung Fu Jedi
Member
The main question you need to ask yourself, before anything else, is do you love her? I mean REALLY love her? Is it something more than just a love between two people who have spent a lot of time together and gained a deep respect and understanding of one another. Is it swept off your feet, want to make the other person completely happy love? If the answer to all that is yes, then, and only then, can you hope to proceed and have a chance.
The religious differences are tough, I know, I've been there, but they can be overcome with a great deal of patience and understanding on both your parts. You'll both need to give ground, and you'll both have to be willing to meet the other half-way. But if you do, it could be a wonderful relationship. Good luck!
The religious differences are tough, I know, I've been there, but they can be overcome with a great deal of patience and understanding on both your parts. You'll both need to give ground, and you'll both have to be willing to meet the other half-way. But if you do, it could be a wonderful relationship. Good luck!
Smiles and Cries
Member
Man I sure have a lot of doubts, Still I don't think I could give up anything for her... I also know I will walk away from this, using logic it is the only way.
but when did the heart ever care about logic?
well I am going to face her now. I'm going to hurt her feelings its not gonna be pretty.
but when did the heart ever care about logic?
well I am going to face her now. I'm going to hurt her feelings its not gonna be pretty.
Kung Fu Jedi
Member
Be sure to tell her you got advice on a video game board!!
Mr. E. Yis
Banned
Monk said:
:lol Actually I intended that to be about any restrictions or rules put on him (or putting on himself) that have no weight or reason behind them. Such as self-censoring his artwork.
The Faceless Master
Member
it's obvious that you both have strong feelings for each other, yet both have doubts about commitment.... for it to work, you will have to bend for her, but she will also have to bend for you too... that may mean not completely following what her church says... if you can't deal with her doing that, and it seems that you do, you will just have to move on...
captmcblack
Member
Ghost said:
I co-sign this.
Heal her mind with the power of CACK. It's the only way.
Otherwise, there's pretty much no way this'll end well.
Also:
wtf. :-\
Baron Aloha
A Shining Example
Way too complicated!!
Get rid of her for good and don't look back. She sounds nuts. Don't even think about having sex with her. If you screw her and break up it would probably send her over the edge.
DING DING DING!!
Folks looks like we have a winner.
Get rid of her for good and don't look back. She sounds nuts. Don't even think about having sex with her. If you screw her and break up it would probably send her over the edge.
DING DING DING!!
Folks looks like we have a winner.
Fresh Prince
Banned
You need a Dr Phil intervention or atleast a spot on Oprah.
Late Stage Marxist
Member
God wants you to hit it. It is your divine duty.
Tommie Hu$tle
Member
I don't know, I think it might be worth at least the trip to see what it's worth. I mean it seems like you like her and she likes you. I say give it a shot and see what happens worst case scenario you end up where you were before you met her.
As it has been said before there has to be compromise on both sides for it to have a ghost of a chance. I can tell you from experience that she can be worth it. I've taken the easy route over the more difficult one and while I'm not one to live with regret known in your heart of hearts that it could of worked is heavy, but the two of you have to want it together.
As it has been said before there has to be compromise on both sides for it to have a ghost of a chance. I can tell you from experience that she can be worth it. I've taken the easy route over the more difficult one and while I'm not one to live with regret known in your heart of hearts that it could of worked is heavy, but the two of you have to want it together.
I would try...
Crushing her religion.
i.e. learn more about fundamental arguments for and against religion, and then use them against that girl.
Chances are very unlikely that'll she'll actually convert and continue wanting you, more likely she'll be offended and get out of your life.
Either way, it'll end up been better for you, even if the latter can cause considerable heartache in the short term...
Start with the question I like to ask... what is faith?
Then tell her, that faith is really a belief without a cohesive logic and material evidence to support that logic. Then she'll say that, sure there's logic to her belief, but then the difference is, what's the foundation to that logic? Religious logic has a good amount of surface level or circular logic... but ask enough question, and go deep enough, and you'll see that there's nothing to support the entire weight of the argument.
Then things like asking about a creator; on what basis do you think the universe needs a creator; research and attack the design based argument, ontological argument, and various other advanced arguments along those lines. Then tell her that even if you say ok, the universe was created by something. Ask her how you go from that idea to the idea of a christian god? I mean how's it different from a muslim or a jewish or even an ancient greek or egyptian god from their point of view? They all believed that their Gods were involved in creation and what not, and they all had scriptures, beliefs etc passed onto them.
Finally, ask her for what reasons she believes in God; what would she do if there was no hell and no heaven; no life after death, either in paradise or eternal damnation?
Crushing her religion.
i.e. learn more about fundamental arguments for and against religion, and then use them against that girl.
Chances are very unlikely that'll she'll actually convert and continue wanting you, more likely she'll be offended and get out of your life.
Either way, it'll end up been better for you, even if the latter can cause considerable heartache in the short term...
Start with the question I like to ask... what is faith?
Then tell her, that faith is really a belief without a cohesive logic and material evidence to support that logic. Then she'll say that, sure there's logic to her belief, but then the difference is, what's the foundation to that logic? Religious logic has a good amount of surface level or circular logic... but ask enough question, and go deep enough, and you'll see that there's nothing to support the entire weight of the argument.
Then things like asking about a creator; on what basis do you think the universe needs a creator; research and attack the design based argument, ontological argument, and various other advanced arguments along those lines. Then tell her that even if you say ok, the universe was created by something. Ask her how you go from that idea to the idea of a christian god? I mean how's it different from a muslim or a jewish or even an ancient greek or egyptian god from their point of view? They all believed that their Gods were involved in creation and what not, and they all had scriptures, beliefs etc passed onto them.
Finally, ask her for what reasons she believes in God; what would she do if there was no hell and no heaven; no life after death, either in paradise or eternal damnation?
Tommie Hu$tle
Member
Zaptruder said:
I disagree this isn't Dogma. He doesn't have to challenge her faith directly to get her to be with him. I think doing what he is doing now is doing a much better job of having her question and realign her faith. I think if he wants her keep doing what he's doing. Women like her are quite malleable when inundated with kindness.
Alyssa Hu$tle
Member
Honey, there is more to think about just than the fact you really like this girl. If you are serious about marriage, then you have to think of many things. Like how about your children? How do you feel about how they are raised and what they are taught? How would you feel if you were not allowed to have some input into their spiritual direction? And your lifestyle, how does that fit in with hers? What else will you need to give up or compromise? Activities you enjoy that you take for granted now.
One thing for sure, you would hate NOT getting to sleep with her before marriage, then after marriage discover she does not like sex all together.
That would be a major bummer.
I know you like her, and she could be the perfect girl, but you really have to weigh up the consequences of her strong beliefs with where you take this.
I say hold off on the marriage thing for a long while, but keep doing what you have been doing so far... the aim is to get her as moist as possible for as long as possible until she just can't stand it anymore.
Just make sure you have a great porn collection to get you through it.
One thing for sure, you would hate NOT getting to sleep with her before marriage, then after marriage discover she does not like sex all together.
That would be a major bummer.
I know you like her, and she could be the perfect girl, but you really have to weigh up the consequences of her strong beliefs with where you take this.
I say hold off on the marriage thing for a long while, but keep doing what you have been doing so far... the aim is to get her as moist as possible for as long as possible until she just can't stand it anymore.
Just make sure you have a great porn collection to get you through it.
The Faceless Master
Member
thats a good way to piss her off... doubt it will work toward convincing her!Zaptruder said:
:lol :lol :lolhXc_thugg said:
Tommie Hu$tle
Member
hXc_thugg said:
Hell why wait that long. I say do it while he's having sex with her.
" You feel this God all up in your fallopian! You never thought God would make you feel this dirty and you better believe it God wants you to feel filthy. You are God's dirty little girl."
Alyssa Hu$tle
Member
:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lolTommie Hu$tle said:
I'm highly unqualified to bring any weight into this discussion but I do have some thoughts on the matter.
Marie has told you about her love for her church and her god, faith and the very memory of her father who would not approve if alive today. Very powerful things. Telling you all this she basicaly drew a line in the sand, these things are unchanging and you wil have to conform to them.
You sound like a poetic guy with your explination of god painting the sunrise and sunset. Tell her about all the things that you love and cherish with the same flair you gave to the painting explination, and what you would have to give up if you were to be with her.
You obviously have a deep respect for the things she holds close, allow her to gain a respect for the things that you hold close. This way with continued discussion of his, she may begin to understand the incompatibility of the two lifestyles. This will help ease away from the relationship or break down any illusions that the relationship could ever work with the line in the sand she drew.
Let the heart do the rest. If she decides that she does not want to move the line, it's her decision and she doesn't fall so hard. If she does move the line, then she truely does love you mate and I hope for you the best. But it's very important you make it her decision in the end, or at least give her the illusion that it is her decision.
As I said, im definetly not qualified, but it's my thoughts.
Marie has told you about her love for her church and her god, faith and the very memory of her father who would not approve if alive today. Very powerful things. Telling you all this she basicaly drew a line in the sand, these things are unchanging and you wil have to conform to them.
You sound like a poetic guy with your explination of god painting the sunrise and sunset. Tell her about all the things that you love and cherish with the same flair you gave to the painting explination, and what you would have to give up if you were to be with her.
You obviously have a deep respect for the things she holds close, allow her to gain a respect for the things that you hold close. This way with continued discussion of his, she may begin to understand the incompatibility of the two lifestyles. This will help ease away from the relationship or break down any illusions that the relationship could ever work with the line in the sand she drew.
Let the heart do the rest. If she decides that she does not want to move the line, it's her decision and she doesn't fall so hard. If she does move the line, then she truely does love you mate and I hope for you the best. But it's very important you make it her decision in the end, or at least give her the illusion that it is her decision.
As I said, im definetly not qualified, but it's my thoughts.
Smiles and Cries
Member
:lol I have not read all the replies but it seems you guys are getting your kicks out of this
its 4am and she just left
yes she just left and all we did was talk about this... She is stubborn damn...
She keeps saying she wont leave... she does not want to fight.
Okay I wanted to find out more about her Church so I borrowed her bible and she also gave me some church newsletters
typed the name of her Church on Google the first page I got was an anti-Cult site outing the founder.
WTF!
So far its not looking good - why me?
How do I tell her this if it turns out to be true.
its 4am and she just left
yes she just left and all we did was talk about this... She is stubborn damn...
She keeps saying she wont leave... she does not want to fight.
Okay I wanted to find out more about her Church so I borrowed her bible and she also gave me some church newsletters
typed the name of her Church on Google the first page I got was an anti-Cult site outing the founder.
WTF!
So far its not looking good - why me?
How do I tell her this if it turns out to be true.
Forgotten_Taco
Member
Smiles and Cries said::lol I have not read all the replies but it seems you guys are getting your kicks out of this
its 4am and she just left
yes she just left and all we did was talk about this... She is stubborn damn...
She keeps saying she wont leave... she does not want to fight.
Okay I wanted to find out more about her Church so I borrowed her bible and she also gave me some church newsletters
typed the name of her Church on Google the first page I got was an anti-Cult site outing the founder.
WTF!
So far its not looking good - why me?
How do I tell her this if it turns out to be true.
You move, change your name, and cut all contact with your former life.
Or you fake your own death in front of her. You'll need a dozen or so people I think to pull this off effectively. Fake paramedics, fake 911 operator, so on. You'll need to fake some sort of funeral as well, I suggest cremation, and scattering of the ashes over some body of water as it more cost/time efficient for your needs. I think I can arrange something in 9 days.
JackFrost2012
Banned
Smiles and Cries said:
Katie Holmes?!
Smiles and Cries
Member
dude I can't believe how messed up this is... I knew her church sounded out there but damn
I have been telling her how messed up I was back in college at my old cult and to think this girl has been sitting in one all her life.
I'm not going to tell her anything I dunno if I can help her at all, I need to do more research about it
I need to get to sleep
I have been telling her how messed up I was back in college at my old cult and to think this girl has been sitting in one all her life.
I'm not going to tell her anything I dunno if I can help her at all, I need to do more research about it
I need to get to sleep
I really don't have too much to add here except to say as long as you're not sure about this, do not even attempt to sleep with this girl. Be realistic. All you're going to do is destroy her world if things don't work out. It won't be hard for you to walk away from, but for someone like her, it sounds like it would be absolutely devastating. If you care for her as much as you say you do, you probably don't want to put her in that kind of a situation.
Smiles and Cries
Member
thanks John... I wont harm her I am walking away.
Smiles and Cries said:
Wait. crush her religion! If she can stomach theological debates, then she won't be too hard done by it if you approach it tactfully. If you don't change her mind, then maybe somewhere in the future she'll begin to question what she's in; and even though you won't be with her then, she'll probably be better off for it. I mean... it's not like her family is super religious right?
Son of Godzilla
Banned
Dude run for the fucking hills. She's trying to save your soul.
Smiles and Cries
Member
Boogie said:You're such a jackass
he maybe a jackass but what he says is very tempting
I mean I was up with this girl til 4am trying to tell her all this and she is still stubborn
She just emailed me that she is coming by after work.
How do you walk away peacefully from someone who wont allow you to do the right thing?
The right thing is for me not to crush the only world she had, she grew up in this church
pointing out to her that it is seen as a cult maybe the only way for me to get a break from her.
If she is not going to allow me to walk away peacefully I may just tell her.
Would you want someone to tell you something like that? Would you even see it as truth?
http://www.gospelassemblyfree.com/gac/index.html
All joking aside I really think that perhaps you should setup what each of you wont compromise on. And discuss. I know it's easy to say "OMG she's teh crazy." which oh gosh sounds like her religion is. However, I'm too much of a romantic to say that if you've found love you should throw it away, unless you've done all you could to work it out.
Look at it realistically, if you do marry her, either A) Her church will disown her and she'll be "devil-spawn" or B) They'll spend their entire time trying to convert you and you'll be devil spawn. Either way, it wont be a good situation for your kids. However, there are many ways to be christian without being a fundy, perhaps you guys could go to different churches together. Explore options. Let the religion thing rest for a while and see where it goes (without sleeping with her of course). I'm sorry for the situation you're in, however, the best advice I could give you is to try your hardest to make sure that you will not regret whatever happens. If you decide to leave then make sure you'll never regret it, or think you could've done more. If you decide to stay make sure that you're still true to yourself and don't give up anything you hold dear.
Of course all of the above only applies if you actually truly love her. If you don't, or if it's anything less than love, then I'm firmly in the "RUN AWAY!!!" crowd.
Look at it realistically, if you do marry her, either A) Her church will disown her and she'll be "devil-spawn" or B) They'll spend their entire time trying to convert you and you'll be devil spawn. Either way, it wont be a good situation for your kids. However, there are many ways to be christian without being a fundy, perhaps you guys could go to different churches together. Explore options. Let the religion thing rest for a while and see where it goes (without sleeping with her of course). I'm sorry for the situation you're in, however, the best advice I could give you is to try your hardest to make sure that you will not regret whatever happens. If you decide to leave then make sure you'll never regret it, or think you could've done more. If you decide to stay make sure that you're still true to yourself and don't give up anything you hold dear.
Of course all of the above only applies if you actually truly love her. If you don't, or if it's anything less than love, then I'm firmly in the "RUN AWAY!!!" crowd.
Smiles and Cries
Member
gigapower said:
I did not even read the book but thanks for pointing that out I needed a laugh right now
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