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[Milchjon]

There seem to be two kinds of awful lyrics: Those that make you cringe hard and those that make you laugh. This thread is about the latter.

What are some of your favorite lyrics that are totally awful, but for some reason you love them?

Inspired by these lines:

It's going down
I'm yelling Timber

(It's clever in such a hilariously ill-fitting way)

Been around the world, don't speak the language
But your booty don't need explaining

(Never fails to make me laugh for some reason)



Disclaimer: I'm sure there are tons of better examples out there

 

[Courage]

I just talked to Jesus
He said, whaddup Yeezus
I said, shit I'm chillin
Tryin to stack these millions.

 

[equippedwithtowel]

In a French ass restaurant
Hurry up with my damn croissant



My wrist deserve a shout-out, I'm like "What up, wrist?"
My stove deserve a shout-out, I'm like "What up, stove?"

 

[dyergram]

Hannah Montana
Hannah Montana
Hannah Montana
And so forth.

 

[Professor Lich]

Anything from Hollywood Undead:

I'm so icy, like ice cream.
All you ladies want a scoop and try to bite me.

 

[daffy]

Can't play no games with these niggas, they're so fake and they phony
Can't play no games with these bitches, they treat me like I'm Tony

 

[Courage]

Cake, cake-cake, cake-cake, cake
500 million, I got a pound cake
Niggas is fronting, that's upside-down cake
Get 'em a red nose, they clown cakes
They shoulda never let you 'round cake
Look at my neck, I got a carrot cake
Now here's the icing on the cake
Cake, cake-cake, cake-cake, uhh

 

[Sajjaja]

She's so cool
She's so fine
Out of ten
I give her nine

 

[teruterubozu]

I fuck like a beast.

 

[kulapik]

In a French ass restaurant
Hurry up with my damn croissant

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8yy1ZkoPz8

 

[Courage]

Brought her bitches, I brought my niggas, they getting bent up off the liquor
She love my licorice, I let her lick it
They say money make a nigga act nigger-ish
But least a nigga nigga rich
I be fucking broads like I be fucking bored
Turn a dyke bitch out, have her fucking boys, beast

 

[OniBarubary]

Got blood on my dick cause I fucked a corpse

 

[Courage]

head of the class AND SHE JUST WANT A SWALLOWSHIP

 

[beato_angelico]

It's different now that I'm poor and aging, I'll never see this face again
You go stabbing yourself in the neck
It's different now that I'm poor and aging, and I'll never see this place again
And you go stabbing yourself in the neck

We can find new ways of living make playing only logical harm
And we can top the old times, clay-making that nothing else will change.
But she can read, she can read, she can read, she can read, she's bad
Oh, she's bad

It's in the way that she posed,
it's in the things that she puts in my head
Her stories are boring and stuff.
She's always calling my bluff.

 

[Milchjon]

My wrist deserve a shout-out, I'm like "What up, wrist?"
My stove deserve a shout-out, I'm like "What up, stove?"

Ahahahaha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8yy1ZkoPz8

Still the best video of the year. They way it only cuts after "I am a God" makes it perfect.

 

[GoodMorning]

Last birthday she got you a new sweater
Put it on, give her a kiss, and tell her do better

 

[speculawyer]

Is there gas in the car?
Yes, there is gas in the car.


That's from one of my favorite songs. Of course I mainly love it for the guitar playing.

 

[Spring-Loaded]

She got a big booty
So I call her big booty

Last birthday she got you a new sweater
Put it on, give her a kiss, and tell her do better

Haha! Same song, breh!


:/

 

[PAULINK]

Hot girls we have problems too, we're just like you, except we're hot.

 

[Milchjon]

Wait, are all of you just posting 2Chainz songs?

 

[Anung]

"I don't want to see a ghost/It's the sight that I fear most/I'd rather have a piece of toast/Watch the evening news"

 

[daffy]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8yy1ZkoPz8

This is hilarious.

 

[way more]

BareNaked Ladies

Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes
Big like LeAnn Rimes
Because I'm all about value

Modest Mouse

Opinions were like kittens. I was giving them away

 

[Crumpet Trumpet]

POP CULTURE WAS IN ART

NOW ART'S IN POP CULTURE IN ME

 

[imadinosaur]

Unlike Sonic I don't chuckle
I'd rather flex my muscles

 

[Herne]

Listen! red light, yellow light, green-a-light go!
Crazy little woman in a one man show
Mirror queen, mannequin, rhythm of love
Sweet dream, saccharine, loosen up

 

[Kano on the Phone]

Well the tiniest little dot caught my eye and it turned out to be a scab
And I had this funny feeling like I just knew it's something bad
I just couldn't leave it alone, I kept picking at the scab
It was a doorway trying to seal itself shut
But I climbed through

BareNaked Ladies

She was pretty huge when that song was written, so I'm not seeing the problem.

 

[Aurongel]

OOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOOOhhhhhHHHHHHHoooHHHHHHHH

Barbra Streisand.

 

[kulapik]

POP CULTURE WAS IN ART

NOW ART'S IN POP CULTURE IN ME

I raise:


One second I'm a Koons, then
suddenly the Koons is me.

 

[Ultima_5]

Suicidal tendencies.

ALL I WANTED WAS A PEPSI

misfits

Any of them. They're all garbage

 

[way more]

She was pretty huge when that song was written, so I'm not seeing the problem.

I don't think women want to be called "big." And at the time she wasn't quite her emaciated self.

Back then she was getting plenty of "Oh! It's so nice to see a natural, real, women. How brave of her."

 

[the_log_ride]

Me not working hard?
Yeah right picture that with a Kodak.
Or better yet, got to Times Square and take a picture of me with a Kodak.

Spoiler

Pitbull is so terrible.

 

[~Devil Trigger~]

Works at EVERY party

Woo

 

[Milchjon]

Me not working hard?
Yeah right picture that with a Kodak.
Or better yet, got to Times Square and take a picture of me with a Kodak.

Spoiler

Pitbull is so terrible.

That was going to be my example for the "awful awful" category

 

[skyfinch]

Why you coming home 5 in the morn?
Something's going on, can I smell yo dick?
Don't play me like a fool, cause that ain't cool.
What you need to do is let me smell yo dick!

 

[kulapik]

Return of the Mack, get up!
What it is, what it does, what it is, what it isn’t.

Spoiler

The only awfully fun thing is the first line, but I didn't want to leave it alone

 

[Elwood Blues]

Horse with No Name (America):

In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain

Grammar, how does it work?

 

[daffy]

When I was in the 3rd grade
I thought that I was gay
Cause I could draw, my uncle was
And I kept my room straight

 

[Kano on the Phone]

I don't think women want to be called "big." And at the time she wasn't quite her emaciated self.

Back then she was getting plenty of "Oh! It's so nice to see a natural, real, women. How brave of her."

"Big" is slang for popular. He's saying he's popular.

 

[udiie]

Pretty Flacko Intro
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcRBKVhCGKE

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

She says, “Yeah, he’s still coming, just a little bit late
He got stuck at the laundromat washing his cape”

Tell me, Daughtry. Why would Superman be washing his cape in a public place? Isn't that a little bit obvious?

 

[Milchjon]

I don't listen to Drake a lot, so I'm not sure how bad his lyrics are in general, but his delivery exacerbates things:

She just wanna run over my feelings
Like she drinking and driving in an 18 wheeler
And I'd allow her, talk about pussy power

 

[Dai101]

Mom's spaguetti

 

[trixx]

Not the biggest fan of Gambino, he's kind of hit or miss with his lyrics. Either very funny or =/

I like this one though:

Tia and Tamara in my bed, I'm a smart guy (this is not an awful lyric just funny)

"real g's move in silence like lasagna" (truth)
Weezy

 

[Servbot24]

"My girls, they call me London
Because I am from London"

"We get it poppington
Up in the clubbington
We we we Kate Middleton
We we we swaggington
Don Julia Patron
Moombahton
Taking over the dancefloor"

"I do the Soopermodel
I climb on top of shit."

-Her Majesty, Queen Nadia Oh

 

[ito007]

Yes i do it big
Call me little astronomical
Weezy F baby and the 'F' is for phenomenal

-Lil Wayne. Yes

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

"My pussy tastes like Pepsi cola"

I love the song but that line makes me laugh every time

 

[Twio]

Lana Del Rey - Young & Beautiful

Oh that grace, oh that body
Oh that face makes me wanna party

 

[Milchjon]

"My pussy tastes like Pepsi cola"

I love the song but that line makes me laugh every time

I think I made it to around the 10 minute mark once. Hypnotic.

 

[WhereAreMahDragonz]

I think I made it to around the 10 minute mark once. Hypnotic.

Oh god, I remember this. Lana always has the best lyrics...