Spike Spiegel
Member
My passion for Greek mythology has been revived somewhat lately, thanks to a Humanities class, Federmans "coolest gods" thread, and Wonder Woman, so
pick a god, any god, as your favorite from among the Greek pantheon. Ive taken the liberty of listing below the 12 most famous Olympic gods, but if youve got someone else in mind thats cool too.
Let's try to have a little discussion, too; something tells me this one's a sinker, not a floater.
ZEUS: Ruler of Olympus. Saved by his mother Rhea from being eaten by his father Cronus. Nursed and raised to adulthood in secret by a magic goat. Rescued his siblings from his father's belly, overthrew his father and banished the Titans (poor Robin!), then married his sister and became supreme leader of the Greek gods. Most associated with the sky and weather. Hobbies include cheating on his wife/sister, scoring with hot Greek chicks in the forms of various animals, and smiting anybody that pisses him off with lightning bolts.
POSEIDON: Ruler of the Ocean. Drew straws with brothers Zeus and Hades to decide who would rule what on Earth. Got the watery part. Worshipped by seamen across the ancient world, hoping for calm seas and a bountiful haul of fish. Created the first horse as a way of impressing/seducing his sister Demeter. Wields a big pointy fork called a trident. Very temperamental; prone to causing earthquakes, typhoons, floods, rough seas, and other maritime disasters that can ruin your day.
HADES: Ruler of the Underworld. Got shafted by brothers Zeus and Poseidon when dividing up the Earth. Charged with ruling over the dead and keeping the afterlife in working order. Feared and despised by mortals, shunned and ignored by his fellow Olympic gods. Had to resort to kidnapping to acquire his queen, the goddess Persephone. Prized possessions include a magical helmet that makes him invisible, and the riches of the Earth itself (gold, jewels, etc.). "The black sheep of the family."
HERA: Queen of Olympus. Sister to Zeus, and also his wife. Goddess of marriage and birth, prayed to by wives, brides-to-be, and expectant mothers across Greece. Prone to jealousy and fits of rage, usually caused by her husband/brother's infidelity with other goddesses and mortal women. Hobbies revolve around exacting terrible vengeance upon Zeus' partners in adultery, and upon the children of those unions. Symbolized by the peacock and cow.
HESTIA: Goddess of the Hearth. The oldest sister of Zeus. Charged with keeping the fireplace going on Mt. Olympus, and protector of every home in Greece. An eternal virgin. Gentlest of all the Greek gods, and therefore the most boring.
APOLLO: God of Almost Anything. Son of Zeus and Leto, a Titan. Twin brother to Artemis. Most commonly referred to as the god of music and light. Also the god of music, prophecy, medicine, archery, dance, plagues, and a sh*tload of other stuff. Charged with driving a golden chariot carrying the Sun across the sky each day. Also has a knack for bagging hot Greek chicks in various disguises. Credited with establishing the Oracle at Delphi. Carries a lyre and a bow. A word of caution: don't diss his momma.
ARTEMIS: Goddess of the Wild. Daughter of Zeus and Leto. Twin sister to Apollo. Commonly associated with the moon, hunting, wild animals, chastity, and fertility. A virgin goddess, one that works hard to maintain that status for herself and for her companion nymphs. Known to perform unspeakable acts of violence upon those who have sought to defile her person, her companions, or her wilderness. Never without her enchanted bow and quiver of arrows. EXTREMELY possessive. See above warning about badmouthing momma. Possible lesbian?
ARES: God of War. Son of Zeus and Hera. Commonly portrayed as being cruel, bloodthirsty, arrogant, and cowardly in Greek legends. Despised by fellow Olympic gods for his aggressive, uncouth demeanor. Typically seen rushing into battle, clad in armor and wielding the various implements of war, accompanied by Eris (goddess of Strife) and his sons Phobos and Deimos (gods of Fear and Terror). Scored with Aphrodite, but got caught in the act by her husband Hephaestus. A real jerk.
HERMES: Messenger of the Gods. Another of Zeus illegitimate children. Charged with spreading the proclamations of Zeus across the world, and with bringing the souls of the dead to the gates of Hades. Also the god of shepherds, commerce, travel, athletes, and thieves. Invented many musical instruments, most of which were traded to Apollo for rare items. Fastest of the gods. Wears winged sandals, a winged helmet, and carries a staff adorned with 2 entwined snakes. Currently works for FTD.
APHRODITE: Goddess of Love and Beauty. Born of the sea foam created when Cronus tossed his father Uranus severed genitals into the ocean. Betrothed to Hephaestus by Zeus, to keep other gods from fighting over her. Lavished with many gifts by her husband, among them a magic girdle that when worn insures that no man or god can resist her charms dumbass. Cheated on husband countless times, with mortals and gods (see Ares), and birthed many offspring, most notably Eros, the god of Sex. Voted goddess most likely to be called SLUT by her peers.
HEPHAESTUS: God of Fire. Conceived solely by Hera in retaliation for one of Zeus many infidelities. Born ugly and a cripple; the only unattractive Olympian god. Commonly referred to as the patron god of blacksmiths, craftsmen, and metal workers. Fashioned magical armor, weapons, jewelry, and other items for both mortals and Olympian gods from his forge deep within a volcano, with the aid of his Cyclopes servants. Caught his wife Aphrodite in the arms of Ares, trapped them both in an unbreakable net, and dragged them both to Olympus for punishment. Was laughed at instead, and watched as the adulterers were set free poor guy. Credited with crafting the first woman, Pandora.
ATHENA: Goddess of Wisdom. Daughter of Zeus and Metis. Mother was swallowed by Zeus after prophecy revealed she would bear a son mightier than he. Sprang from Zeus head fully grown, after Hephaestus split Zeus head open with an axe to alleviate his headaches. Became Zeus favorite offspring, and was gifted with eternal virginity. Commonly associated with many things including: wisdom, war, reason, agriculture, purity, justice, and the arts. Won the right to name Greeces greatest city (Athens) after herself in winning a contest with Poseidon, by creating the olive tree. Typically seen carrying a shield, helmet, and spear, and accompanied by Nike (goddess of Victory) and an owl.
So who's your favorite?
Let's try to have a little discussion, too; something tells me this one's a sinker, not a floater.
ZEUS: Ruler of Olympus. Saved by his mother Rhea from being eaten by his father Cronus. Nursed and raised to adulthood in secret by a magic goat. Rescued his siblings from his father's belly, overthrew his father and banished the Titans (poor Robin!), then married his sister and became supreme leader of the Greek gods. Most associated with the sky and weather. Hobbies include cheating on his wife/sister, scoring with hot Greek chicks in the forms of various animals, and smiting anybody that pisses him off with lightning bolts.
POSEIDON: Ruler of the Ocean. Drew straws with brothers Zeus and Hades to decide who would rule what on Earth. Got the watery part. Worshipped by seamen across the ancient world, hoping for calm seas and a bountiful haul of fish. Created the first horse as a way of impressing/seducing his sister Demeter. Wields a big pointy fork called a trident. Very temperamental; prone to causing earthquakes, typhoons, floods, rough seas, and other maritime disasters that can ruin your day.
HADES: Ruler of the Underworld. Got shafted by brothers Zeus and Poseidon when dividing up the Earth. Charged with ruling over the dead and keeping the afterlife in working order. Feared and despised by mortals, shunned and ignored by his fellow Olympic gods. Had to resort to kidnapping to acquire his queen, the goddess Persephone. Prized possessions include a magical helmet that makes him invisible, and the riches of the Earth itself (gold, jewels, etc.). "The black sheep of the family."
HERA: Queen of Olympus. Sister to Zeus, and also his wife. Goddess of marriage and birth, prayed to by wives, brides-to-be, and expectant mothers across Greece. Prone to jealousy and fits of rage, usually caused by her husband/brother's infidelity with other goddesses and mortal women. Hobbies revolve around exacting terrible vengeance upon Zeus' partners in adultery, and upon the children of those unions. Symbolized by the peacock and cow.
HESTIA: Goddess of the Hearth. The oldest sister of Zeus. Charged with keeping the fireplace going on Mt. Olympus, and protector of every home in Greece. An eternal virgin. Gentlest of all the Greek gods, and therefore the most boring.
APOLLO: God of Almost Anything. Son of Zeus and Leto, a Titan. Twin brother to Artemis. Most commonly referred to as the god of music and light. Also the god of music, prophecy, medicine, archery, dance, plagues, and a sh*tload of other stuff. Charged with driving a golden chariot carrying the Sun across the sky each day. Also has a knack for bagging hot Greek chicks in various disguises. Credited with establishing the Oracle at Delphi. Carries a lyre and a bow. A word of caution: don't diss his momma.
ARTEMIS: Goddess of the Wild. Daughter of Zeus and Leto. Twin sister to Apollo. Commonly associated with the moon, hunting, wild animals, chastity, and fertility. A virgin goddess, one that works hard to maintain that status for herself and for her companion nymphs. Known to perform unspeakable acts of violence upon those who have sought to defile her person, her companions, or her wilderness. Never without her enchanted bow and quiver of arrows. EXTREMELY possessive. See above warning about badmouthing momma. Possible lesbian?
ARES: God of War. Son of Zeus and Hera. Commonly portrayed as being cruel, bloodthirsty, arrogant, and cowardly in Greek legends. Despised by fellow Olympic gods for his aggressive, uncouth demeanor. Typically seen rushing into battle, clad in armor and wielding the various implements of war, accompanied by Eris (goddess of Strife) and his sons Phobos and Deimos (gods of Fear and Terror). Scored with Aphrodite, but got caught in the act by her husband Hephaestus. A real jerk.
HERMES: Messenger of the Gods. Another of Zeus illegitimate children. Charged with spreading the proclamations of Zeus across the world, and with bringing the souls of the dead to the gates of Hades. Also the god of shepherds, commerce, travel, athletes, and thieves. Invented many musical instruments, most of which were traded to Apollo for rare items. Fastest of the gods. Wears winged sandals, a winged helmet, and carries a staff adorned with 2 entwined snakes. Currently works for FTD.
APHRODITE: Goddess of Love and Beauty. Born of the sea foam created when Cronus tossed his father Uranus severed genitals into the ocean. Betrothed to Hephaestus by Zeus, to keep other gods from fighting over her. Lavished with many gifts by her husband, among them a magic girdle that when worn insures that no man or god can resist her charms dumbass. Cheated on husband countless times, with mortals and gods (see Ares), and birthed many offspring, most notably Eros, the god of Sex. Voted goddess most likely to be called SLUT by her peers.
HEPHAESTUS: God of Fire. Conceived solely by Hera in retaliation for one of Zeus many infidelities. Born ugly and a cripple; the only unattractive Olympian god. Commonly referred to as the patron god of blacksmiths, craftsmen, and metal workers. Fashioned magical armor, weapons, jewelry, and other items for both mortals and Olympian gods from his forge deep within a volcano, with the aid of his Cyclopes servants. Caught his wife Aphrodite in the arms of Ares, trapped them both in an unbreakable net, and dragged them both to Olympus for punishment. Was laughed at instead, and watched as the adulterers were set free poor guy. Credited with crafting the first woman, Pandora.
ATHENA: Goddess of Wisdom. Daughter of Zeus and Metis. Mother was swallowed by Zeus after prophecy revealed she would bear a son mightier than he. Sprang from Zeus head fully grown, after Hephaestus split Zeus head open with an axe to alleviate his headaches. Became Zeus favorite offspring, and was gifted with eternal virginity. Commonly associated with many things including: wisdom, war, reason, agriculture, purity, justice, and the arts. Won the right to name Greeces greatest city (Athens) after herself in winning a contest with Poseidon, by creating the olive tree. Typically seen carrying a shield, helmet, and spear, and accompanied by Nike (goddess of Victory) and an owl.
So who's your favorite?
