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[Bagels]

Hi Everybody,

This thread is actually the reason I joined GAF. I've had depression on and off for the last 5 years,,along with social anxiety and at one point had severe OCD. So, if anybody has any OCD issues and would like to talk about them, or just wants some advice hopefully I can help a little .

Hang in there, no matter where you are, and I hope things are going good.

Welcome! This thread is filled with incredible, helpful, empathetic people. We're glad to have even more!

 

[Dawg]

Hi Everybody,

This thread is actually the reason I joined GAF. I've had depression on and off for the last 5 years,,along with social anxiety and at one point had severe OCD. So, if anybody has any OCD issues and would like to talk about them, or just wants some advice hopefully I can help a little .

Hang in there, no matter where you are, and I hope things are going good.

Uhm... I kind have OCD. My main issues are:

I HAVE to wash my face before going to bed, else I feel dirty. I know it's not that uncommon for regular people to do this, but I'd feel "bad" just skipping it once. It's a ritual I can't skip. Same thing for when I wake up, first thought goes to having to wash myself asap.

I have some kind of oily T-zone. Especially my nose. I could wash my face and an hour later my nose would be oily again. I touch my nose every now and then just to see how oily it is. I HAVE to apply water to it several times a day :|

Body hair is starting to disgust me. No idea how this one came about, but I was began to feel really anxious thinking about hair on my arms and legs. I finally got a new shaving machine january and it had a trimmer. I trimmed both of my legs and arms... and it made me feel "happy". I guess before I had the trimmer, I couldn't do anything. I felt helpless and I had pretty large amounts of hair on my legs. Just knowing I have a trimmer now makes me feel OK because I know whenever it really bothers me, I can trim my hair. This one kinda feels weird and I only had it for a few months.

I guess my main problem is hygiene. I currently take a shower every three days. This is a pattern I have. I count it every day. I have to make SURE I take a shower the thirth day or I'll feel really unclean. I just wash my privies and face on the other days but every 3th day has to be a shower. Sometimes I do it on the second day when I really feel bad/unclean.

Next to that, dust can really trigger my OCD. Dust in my room? Time to vacuum the entire room. I'm also noise-sensitive. I've once avoided using my computer for half a year just because it had a noise component and I didn't know what. I couldn't even open up the pc because I was afraid I'd hear even more stuff. Whenever I hear some kind of new noise from a computer, I'd always hear it. Even with my headset on. I think that's a psychologal issue. I still suffer from this at the moment but my current PC is less noisy and I actually have the 'strength' to open it up every now and then.

Also, spiders disgust me and trigger my OCD. If I see one in my room, I have to check the entire room. Every little space. Not because I am afraid of spiders. But because they're inside my room. Kinda hard to explain. It's actually funny. Tiny spiders are worse than big spiders for me because they're harder to find and I sometimes have the feeling there is a tiny spider somewhere in my room but I can't find it. Big spiders are easy to spot so I mind them less.

That's about it for me. I'm not on any meds btw.

 

[spacehippo]

Welcome! This thread is filled with incredible, helpful, empathetic people. We're glad to have even more!

Thank you very much for the welcome! And I'd just like to say that bagels are the best use of bread that humanity has come up with haha.

 

[spacehippo]

I totally understand the face washing thing. I used to have to rub my face an even number of times. The thing with OCD, (at least what worked for me) is to ignore the compulsion to wash your face. Don't do it and sit with the anxiety. You don't have to stop all your compulsions, try and do it hierarchically. So if you can, try and stop washing your face in the night or cut out whichever thing is easiest for you to stop, then move onto the next one.

I know what you mean about hair being an issue randomly. It seems with OCD the themes jump around a lot. In my case, I went from cleaning obsessively to re-reading text over and over again with no real reason for it. I would only Google certain websites. (which looking back on it was pretty funny too in a way. Just know that you aren't alone and your compulsions aren't odd at all. OCD seems to be a little odd for everybody that gets it like that.

I don;t know where you live, but if you can look into and see if you can find a CBT (Cognitive Behavioural therapist).I'm not a psychologist so I can't really recommend medication unfortunately. CBT does appear to help a lot of people, and I know there is medication out there that can help with the thoughts and anxiety, so see a professional if you can.

Generally what worked for me with OCD was to look at the situations and say "OK, no matter what anxiety I get, I am not going to perform the compulsion, I'm not gonna check or brush my teeth a set number of times" You have to not do it, let the anxiety come then ignore it and go about your day. It's OK if you feel uncomfortable, but the important thing is to go about your day anyway.

I know this is a lot easier said than done. It's really tough when you feel you have to do something, but over time this will remove the need to do these certain things. Start with the easiest things to cut out and work your way up. So try only applying water to your nose once a day for a week, then the next week not doing it at all.
Perhaps the next week you see dust in the room, but don't vacuum, or you only vacuum half the room.

Like I say, it really is tough with the anxiety, when you feel that pull to do something, but this is a way to beat OCD. You can definitely beat this though.
By the way, if you ever want to PM me about a particular situation at anytime, feel free

 

[Curtisaur]

Man, I'm out of all of my medicine and have no insurance. I'm fucked. I had to cancel my appointment with my psychiatrist on Monday because I can't afford it and all that he would have done anyway was give me prescriptions that I wouldn't have been able to fill because of a lack of insurance. And I called the local mental health board or whatever the fuck for help or advice and they said I don't qualify for their assistance. I just have this overwhelming feeling of anxiety, dread, fear, regret, everything negative almost, all balled into one. I'm all jittery. I wish I could sleep all the time. I think about suicide all the time and have been hospitalized multiple times and even received ECT. Nothing seems to work for me. I'm tired of everything. I want it to be over.

 

[Curtisaur]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MYd8tUMtkk

 

[Colin.]

When the vast majority of the things you do/say in your life is insignificant, and ultimately worthless, it is difficult to see the point in any of it at all. It's the kind of person I've been all my life. The weird, loathed one, with little skills to the point of being infinitely replaceable. It is what I've spent many years hoping for, becoming better at dealing with people, and finding anything, just anything that I had a real knack for. But at the point I'm at, that will probably never come. I can't even do basic things without feeling permanently anxious, worried, and irritable.

I'm beyond any of the possible help here, and have nothing of value to give back in return, so this will probably be my last bit of activity here. There are many here that have a greater chance of a normal and content life than I do, and I hope you all achieve that. You're better off without me. Just hope that the slow paced therapy route does something for me, otherwise I don't think I will have much hope left.

 

[spacehippo]

When the vast majority of the things you do/say in your life is insignificant, and ultimately worthless, it is difficult to see the point in any of it at all. It's the kind of person I've been all my life. The weird, loathed one, with little skills to the point of being infinitely replaceable. It is what I've spent many years hoping for, becoming better at dealing with people, and finding anything, just anything that I had a real knack for. But at the point I'm at, that will probably never come. I can't even do basic things without feeling permanently anxious, worried, and irritable.

I'm beyond any of the possible help here, and have nothing of value to give back in return, so this will probably be my last bit of activity here. There are many here that have a greater chance of a normal and content life than I do, and I hope you all achieve that. You're better off without me. Just hope that the slow paced therapy route does something for me, otherwise I don't think I will have much hope left.

This is something, that I've been wrestling with myself a lot lately, and I know how you feel and agree with you in some respects. Even if some of the things we do are meaningless. I'm sure you have done (and will continue to do things) that matter to many people, even if you don't realize it at the time. Even a small thing, can improve somebodies day for instance, and can have a domino effect that improves their week. Those things that do have meaning still make things worthwhile I think.

I have yet to find the thing I have a real knack for either, But I don't think you are ever too late to find it. There are many great authors who started writing later in life,at 40 &50 so you may still find the thing you are looking for.

I feel anxious much of the time also and I know often it is hard to see. But even if you are anxious or uncomfortable there are still great things you could do, even if you feel uncomfortable doing them.

You aren't beyond help at all. I'm sure you will get the life you want. From reading this thread, I've seen you are an intelligent person and I think you are definitely an asset to this community and I'm positive you are in other areas too.

I know what the anxiety feels like and it's an awful thing to have to go through, but don't give up. Try your best with the therapy Although it doesn't seem like it sometimes, I'm sure down the line things will improve.

 

[Windam]

So tired of everything... Can't motivate myself to get schoolwork done or even relax/have a good time. Made a LinkedIn account and now realize how pointless that was... I have absolutely nothing to fill it in with, and zero possibility of getting any positions to add to it. I don't even have the drive to volunteer. I'm so useless.

 

[DoktorEvil]

I just found this thread today. I want to put it out there that I suffer from clinical depression and mood swings, from insecurity and self-loathing, more often than I care to share. I recently began seeing a therapist and she's been helping me cope with the adjustment from college to the working world. She's expensive to pay for on a modest salary, but I make do with a session a month.

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. Does anyone have any advice for someone with a very low self-esteem?
I feel like the world has it out for me personally, and so I keep a strong barrier up. I don't have a lot of trust in people or things, and I don't think I'm a good looking guy, but I tell myself I am so I don't feel like complete shit.

 

[Alchemy]

Today was great, laid in bed for 8 hours, couldn't find anything I felt like doing after managing to get out of bed, and the skin under my beard hurt like crazy so I had to shave. Having auto immune problems that also cause fatigue and depression is starting to drag me down, but I'm really resistant to taking any more drugs since I already need so many to stay alive, which just makes me more depressed.

Just want to sleep and drink all my problems away.

 

[Windam]

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. Does anyone have any advice for someone with a very low self-esteem?
I feel like the world has it out for me personally, and so I keep a strong barrier up. I don't have a lot of trust in people or things, and I don't think I'm a good looking guy, but I tell myself I am so I don't feel like complete shit.

I wish I could help. I've suffered with self-esteem issues for years, and I haven't found a way to deal with them positively. I can't even tell myself I'm not ugly to make myself feel better. What worked for me for a while was "Fake it until you become it", but that's not a viable long-term solution for someone with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem.

 

[Symphonia]

I've laid in bed all day today with nothing but negative thoughts going through my mind.

I'm so close to relapsing and I really don't think I can go through that again.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I just found this thread today. I want to put it out there that I suffer from clinical depression and mood swings, from insecurity and self-loathing, more often than I care to share. I recently began seeing a therapist and she's been helping me cope with the adjustment from college to the working world. She's expensive to pay for on a modest salary, but I make do with a session a month.

I'm glad to hear you're seeking help. Do you have health insurance?

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling this way. Does anyone have any advice for someone with a very low self-esteem?
I feel like the world has it out for me personally, and so I keep a strong barrier up. I don't have a lot of trust in people or things, and I don't think I'm a good looking guy, but I tell myself I am so I don't feel like complete shit.

Think about what you've accomplished in life. Try not to be like me and dimish the value. Consider how you've grown as a person and how excited you are to grow more. Look into projects that you feel would boost your self-esteem. The one I'm doing right now is preparing to run for a 5K.

You have the right core idea: fake confidence. Just like with smiling it should make you feel a little better. Also, learn to love yourself. Sounds stupid, but it's something we can all work on.

I've laid in bed all day today with nothing but negative thoughts going through my mind.

I'm so close to relapsing and I really don't think I can go through that again.

What course of action has helped you prevent relapsing before? What can we do to help?

 

[Symphonia]

What course of action has helped you prevent relapsing before? What can we do to help?

A mix of support from my girlfriend and my friends, neither of which I have now, which is the reason I'm so worried about relapsing. It's been a fair few years since I last felt this low (I've suffered from bipolar for over a decade) but I can just kind of feel it creeping up on me. The combination of losing my job, my friends, my social circle and the obvious ripple effect of losing my job affecting my finances are all getting on top of me.

I don't think there's really anything much NeoGAF can do to help. I've had odd bits of support from the members of BritGAF when I really need it but it's got to the point where I'm bothering them/you now with my problems. I have a hard time accepting advice because, from my point of view, the 'light at the end of the tunnel' is non-existent. There is no hope, no chance for recovery. I feel like I'm on a slippery slope with no way back up.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I don't think there's really anything much NeoGAF can do to help. I've had odd bits of support from the members of BritGAF when I really need it but it's got to the point where I'm bothering them/you now with my problems. I have a hard time accepting advice because, from my point of view, the 'light at the end of the tunnel' is non-existent. There is no hope, no chance for recovery. I feel like I'm on a slippery slope with no way back up.

This is the mental health thread, you'll never bother us. For some people a drive by post is all they need. Don't focus on the advice as a means to an ends, but on the journey itself.

You should always have hope. Believe in yourself and if you don't then believe in me who believes in you. Chat on IRC, mumble or send some private messages if you want. You're never alone. GAFers want each other to get better.

 

[Symphonia]

This is the mental health thread, you'll never bother us. For some people a drive by post is all they need. Don't focus on the advice as a means to an ends, but on the journey itself.

You should always have hope. Believe in yourself and if you don't then believe in me who believes in you. Chat on IRC, mumble or send some private messages if you want. You're never alone. GAFers want each other to get better.

Saying it isn't a bother is one thing, me believing it isn't is another. I've always considered myself a bother to pretty much everybody, not just on here but those around me in real-life too. It's the way I've always been. I even attended counseling but never ever spoke out because I considered myself that much of a bother. And because I just believed I wasn't worth it. I still have that belief.

 

[Prax]

Saying it isn't a bother is one thing, me believing it isn't is another. I've always considered myself a bother to pretty much everybody, not just on here but those around me in real-life too. It's the way I've always been. I even attended counseling but never ever spoke out because I considered myself that much of a bother. And because I just believed I wasn't worth it. I still have that belief.

Sorry this might be a drive-by reply because I need to be asleep like 5 hours ago lol..

I understand how you feel. I don't like to be overly annoying or feeling like I am without intending to be. Like I tink maybe I am doing that right now..

But do you think maybe: it doesn't matter that much if you bother people! It's okay to annoy people sometimes!

It's such a relief when you finally accept that bugging people can be okay and is expected! People bug you about things, you bug others. And it's okay. Why? Because we're human. And we all have needs. And sometimes our needs are not perfectly aligned with the universe, and so what? Nobody's is despite what some people expect (perhaps a naive or unrealistically idealistic expectation due to desire for perfectionism).

How to make bugging people feel worth it to you: Get something out of it.
If you feel you are bugging people with your problems, at least see it from the perspective that you are gaining from it in some way (even if it's slow or small). You might need support to get through the day. You might need advice. You might need help to find an item on the shelf. These things are okay to need and okay to ask for. And if people are bugged a little, that's okay too! That's just life and we are allowed to do that.
Even if you don't know if you get something good out of it, you have to change your perspective that you at least put in effort. You put in practice toward the skill of asking and being open.

A lot of this is about perspective, and I think most people go through their lives with a puzzle in their minds about self-esteem or anxiety or apathy hoping for an "aha!" moment to break out of it and be able to accept themselves and move onto working on things they want to instead of being stuck in that puzzle. And it can be really random or just build slowly over time through trial and error. But give yourself as many chances as you can to nurture that possibility.

I get bothered by lights turning red in front of me, or having to pee, or when a phone rings, or when a customer asks me for help and that's okay. It doesn't bother me anymore once I see something can be gained or helped and I can move on. And I am not sure I am even making much sense anymore because lol lack of sleep, but I am just telling you, whether you bother someone or not, it's going to be okay. You're allowed to bother people and feel bothered too. Allow yourself to feel the relief that comes with unloading issues and/or resolving them.

 

[DoktorEvil]

I'm glad to hear you're seeking help. Do you have health insurance?

Think about what you've accomplished in life. Try not to be like me and dimish the value. Consider how you've grown as a person and how excited you are to grow more. Look into projects that you feel would boost your self-esteem. The one I'm doing right now is preparing to run for a 5K.

You have the right core idea: fake confidence. Just like with smiling it should make you feel a little better. Also, learn to love yourself. Sounds stupid, but it's something we can all work on.

I have insurance until the age of 26 thanks to the ACA. Therapy is an expensive pill, however.(I'm not even being medicated)

That's the problem with me, my accomplishments are so minimal vs those who did more with less. That's where the anxiety and self-loathing begins:I will never be a Steve Jobs or a Bill Gates or a Henry Ford, and I can't accept that.

I'm just a cynical and pessimistic person, because I'm average, and I never wanted to be just "average".
Having a college degree is just a piece of paper to me, and I don't know how or where I can apply it.
It's sounding more true knowing that knowledge makes the individual more pessimistic.

The confidence faking is my only coping mechanism right now. It's all I have to hold on to. I wish sometimes I was an complete idiot. They have the luxury of ignorance.

 

[FYC]

nvm

 

[A Human Becoming]

That's the problem with me, my accomplishments are so minimal vs those who did more with less. That's where the anxiety and self-loathing begins:I will never be a Steve Jobs or a Bill Gates or a Henry Ford, and I can't accept that.

First off, stop comparing yourself to others. It's difficult but important. Second, "rags to riches" is a bunch of BS. People love to cling on to the few examples. Success has a lot to do with timing and opportunity. If you can't accept not being a billionaire, you have a long way to go.

I'm just a cynical and pessimistic person, because I'm average, and I never wanted to be just "average".
Having a college degree is just a piece of paper to me, and I don't know how or where I can apply it.

Average is hard to determine. You post on GAF, a frankly small website mostly dedicated to gaming; I think that makes you less likely to be average. I feel the same about my college degree being a piece of paper that holds little meaning, but as I said before we both need to not diminish out accomplishments. Even if it doesn't mean much to me it means a lot to the world around me.

 

[MisterLuffy]

My verbal communication is really bad. Whenever I try to say something, it doesn't come as I wanted it. This goes for presentations, speech, or hanging out with my bros and cousins. I played video games with them, and I wanted to say something to them to join on their conversation. However, just like always, the things I say came out differently. I remember I had friends who always tease me for the things I say. That's one reason I'm silent.

Now I get a text message from my brother telling me to apply at apple or microsoft store. I know that he's helping me, but come on. Working at those places would be much worse than working at Macy's I think because I have to deal with customers. And I don't want to deal with them anymore. I have no knowledge whats so ever about microsoft and apple. Especially apple because I don't know anything about their products. The only thing that stood out the most in terms of required skill was the verbal communication. I lack at verbal communication.

 

[DoktorEvil]

First off, stop comparing yourself to others. It's difficult but important. Second, "rags to riches" is a bunch of BS. People love to cling on to the few examples. Success has a lot to do with timing and opportunity. If you can't accept not being a billionaire, you have a long way to go.

Average is hard to determine. You post on GAF, a frankly small website mostly dedicated to gaming; I think that makes you less likely to be average. I feel the same about my college degree being a piece of paper that holds little meaning, but as I said before we both need to not diminish out accomplishments. Even if it doesn't mean much to me it means a lot to the world around me.

GAF is small? It has a huge footprint on the Internet IMO.

I'm still working on accepting myself, and something like that will take time. I guess since graduation, I never realized that the world at large is so much grayer than I understood. I was sheltered. I didn't have many struggles growing up, and none that would be a badge of honor to wear.

The shock of the real world is wearing off and I'm getting better at coping. I just need a support system I haven't found yet.

 

[spacehippo]

My verbal communication is really bad. Whenever I try to say something, it doesn't come as I wanted it. This goes for presentations, speech, or hanging out with my bros and cousins. I played video games with them, and I wanted to say something to them to join on their conversation. However, just like always, the things I say came out differently. I remember I had friends who always tease me for the things I say. That's one reason I'm silent.

Now I get a text message from my brother telling me to apply at apple or microsoft store. I know that he's helping me, but come on. Working at those places would be much worse than working at Macy's I think because I have to deal with customers. And I don't want to deal with them anymore. I have no knowledge whats so ever about microsoft and apple. Especially apple because I don't know anything about their products. The only thing that stood out the most in terms of required skill was the verbal communication. I lack at verbal communication.

I know how you feel. Verbal communication was tough for me too (i would mumble and worry about if a joke came across well or not, excessively) I think the best thing you can do is practice as much as you can. Talk to random people on the street, and perhaps think about volunteering part time. The more you practice the easier it gets.

Try not to pay attention to the negative things your friends say, (frankly, they could be a little more understanding) reactions aren't important. Practice and just focus on putting yourself out there where you can, this way your verbal communication will get better, and you will learn from each interaction. Don't think about the negative, but try and constantly improve. This might not be something to think about just yet, but in future, think about a public speaking course at college. I know people that have been helped a great deal by that.

I understand your feelings totally about your Brother's job suggestion. Tell him you appreciate it, but explain you want to stay at Macy's for now. Start slowly simply by saying good morning to people, perhaps volunteering or taking a night class, then try to work your way up to a job that requires verbal communication if that is what you would like.

 

[Nilaul]

So how do you deal with relationship and OCD (intrusive thoughts), no matter what I always get them. I start over analysing the relationship after the first kiss. Blocking the joy that relationships should give. Do I love her? Do I truly want her? Even if just before I felt shit loads of things.

In fact sometimes, the intrusive thoughts win and I nearly have broken up with some girls that I truly loved/cared/felt/liked. No matter how perfect the girl could be my mind will come around to ruin it, and sometimes it makes me conclude temporarily that I should brake up. Only then 3 minutes later to fantasize about the same girl.

This OCD has ruined every relationship I had (note: that the OCD has appeared in other non relationship areas, it seems to jump from one thing to another not giving me a break). The OCD has ruined my last best relationship I had, with my dance partner. In fact she broke up with me because she couldn't feel "secure" with me because I basically said hey I want to brake up and then took it back after 30min or so (basically after it sank with her). Now I'm with another great girl and these intrusive thoughts reek my mind.

Are people like me with OCD that effect relationships, forever doomed to relationship failure sooner or later?

 

[spacehippo]

So how do you deal with relationship and OCD (intrusive thoughts), no matter what I always get them. I start over analysing the relationship after the first kiss. Blocking the joy that relationships should give. Do I love her? Do I truly want her? Even if just before I felt shit loads of things.

In fact sometimes, the intrusive thoughts win and I nearly have broken up with some girls that I truly loved/cared/felt/liked. No matter how perfect the girl could be my mind will come around to ruin it, and sometimes it makes me conclude temporarily that I should brake up. Only then 3 minutes later to fantasize about the same girl.

This OCD has ruined every relationship I had (note: that the OCD has appeared in other non relationship areas, it seems to jump from one thing to another not giving me a break). The OCD has ruined my last best relationship I had, with my dance partner. In fact she broke up with me because she couldn't feel "secure" with me because I basically said hey I want to brake up and then took it back after 30min or so (basically after it sank with her). Now I'm with another great girl and these intrusive thoughts reek my mind.


Are people like me with OCD that effect relationships, forever doomed to relationship failure sooner or later?

I felt the exact same way in my last relationship. Don't question or fight it. The important thing is to have the thought, but don't push it out. Carry on as normal leaving the question unanswered. This is difficult because of the anxiety, but if you pay less attention to the intrusive thoughts, and live your life as normal, the anxiety will reduce. Similarly, because you don't obsess over the thoughts they should stop popping up.

An extreme version of this attitude that works for some people is that when you have the thought to say "OK, maybe I don't love her, but I'm going to live my life anyway" leave the thoughts in your head and resolve that no matter what they say to you, you will not react.

This feels tremendously hard at first, but does get easier and there is some light at the end of the tunnel with this approach.

I let my intrusive thoughts inform my decisions also and have always regretted it. It's something that takes a lot of focus and willpower, but no matter what your intrusive thoughts say, do not give into them.

You definitely aren't alone with it jumping around in theme. My OCD went from health, to cleanliness, to crime to relationship. In my experience (and of friends) it certainly seems to move topic in that way . It's pretty awkward and annoying because of that!

People with OCD aren't doomed to relationship failure at all. I've met people with OCD that have had long marriages and fulfilling relationships, and you will too for sure.
It's all in how you react to the thoughts. The goal isn't too stop them coming but to let them come but don't react. When the intrusive thoughts come ignore it and live your life. Let it shout and scream all day if it wants, but if you ignore it I promise it will pass eventually.

Hope this helps a little.
.

 

[Collete]

I apologize for the avatar change, if anyone still recognizes me.

Now I'm completely unrecognizable with the avatar and name change!

Today was great, laid in bed for 8 hours, couldn't find anything I felt like doing after managing to get out of bed, and the skin under my beard hurt like crazy so I had to shave. Having auto immune problems that also cause fatigue and depression is starting to drag me down, but I'm really resistant to taking any more drugs since I already need so many to stay alive, which just makes me more depressed.

Just want to sleep and drink all my problems away.

Drinking or sleeping your problems away won't solve anything in the end unfortunately.
I thought that at one point, I only replaced them with video games and being ignorant of the outside world. In the end I kinda fucked over my life to the point of no return.
Don't be that person.
If you are already are...my best advice is to keep walking and striving for a better future even if it is impossible. But I understand the feeling at any rate.

I'm not going to act like I know what auto immune problems are like, though, try your best not to just to lay in bed all day doing nothing if you can help it. Day dream, read, pray (if you're religious), just don't lie in bed doing nothing.


Which kinda made me wonder about something about everyone here who has depression...I know people like me have tendency to just lay in bed all day because depression drags an anchor on you and all you can do is just lie there... I do that myself.
But do you guys ever actually doing anything as you lay in bed? I'm not trying to condescend, but I'm just curious. For me it alternates between Animal Crossing and really just laying in bed doing nothing.

 

[Curtisaur]

nevermind

I need help bad but I can't afford to miss work to take myself to the hospital.

 

[FillerB]

nevermind

I need help bad but I can't afford to miss work to take myself to the hospital.

I don't know the reason why you couldn't possible take an afternoon off, but don't you think your employer would be much happier with you if you showed responsibility by not putting their reputation in danger? Consult with your manager about whatever it is you edited out. I'm sure they will be understanding.

I apologize for the avatar change, if anyone still recognizes me.

Now I'm completely unrecognizable with the avatar and name change!
-snip-

But do you guys ever actually doing anything as you lay in bed? I'm not trying to condescend, but I'm just curious. For me it alternates between Animal Crossing and really just laying in bed doing nothing.

Still very recognizable to me at the very least! To answer your question, for me it alternates between trying to read, trying to see if there is anything of any interest on the telly, trying to keep one of the cats from jumping on my stomach and trying to sleep. I tend to fail at all of them.

 

[A Human Becoming]

I'm still working on accepting myself, and something like that will take time. I guess since graduation, I never realized that the world at large is so much grayer than I understood. I was sheltered. I didn't have many struggles growing up, and none that would be a badge of honor to wear.

The shock of the real world is wearing off and I'm getting better at coping. I just need a support system I haven't found yet.

The world is very gray. Life would be so much easier if everything was black and white.

(Part of) Your support system is here!

 

[DoktorEvil]

The world is very gray. Life would be so much easier if everything was black and white.

(Part of) Your support system is here!

I appreciate the open arms. I'll make sure to come back to you Human if I get a dose of the blues.

From what I've read in the thread, it seems like people are helped out here.

 

[MisterLuffy]

I know how you feel. Verbal communication was tough for me too (i would mumble and worry about if a joke came across well or not, excessively) I think the best thing you can do is practice as much as you can. Talk to random people on the street, and perhaps think about volunteering part time. The more you practice the easier it gets.

Try not to pay attention to the negative things your friends say, (frankly, they could be a little more understanding) reactions aren't important. Practice and just focus on putting yourself out there where you can, this way your verbal communication will get better, and you will learn from each interaction. Don't think about the negative, but try and constantly improve. This might not be something to think about just yet, but in future, think about a public speaking course at college. I know people that have been helped a great deal by that.

I understand your feelings totally about your Brother's job suggestion. Tell him you appreciate it, but explain you want to stay at Macy's for now. Start slowly simply by saying good morning to people, perhaps volunteering or taking a night class, then try to work your way up to a job that requires verbal communication if that is what you would like.

I don't work at Macy's anymore and I don't think I want to work there again. I used to work there two years ago for three months. I had a lot of bad experiences that has to do with minor and major mistakes. My older brother suggested me to make new friends/gamer friends. Like I know how to make new friends. I have only have one friend on fb that I mostly chatted with but never hung out. I'm not going to make new friends because I'm not the engaging type, I have nothing in common with them, and though I do talk to some people in classes doesn't mean we're friends. Once we're done with our semester, I'm not going to see them or speak to them again. That's basically how it is for me.

 

[Symphonia]

A lot of this is about perspective, and I think most people go through their lives with a puzzle in their minds about self-esteem or anxiety or apathy hoping for an "aha!" moment to break out of it and be able to accept themselves and move onto working on things they want to instead of being stuck in that puzzle. And it can be really random or just build slowly over time through trial and error. But give yourself as many chances as you can to nurture that possibility.

I get bothered by lights turning red in front of me, or having to pee, or when a phone rings, or when a customer asks me for help and that's okay. It doesn't bother me anymore once I see something can be gained or helped and I can move on. And I am not sure I am even making much sense anymore because lol lack of sleep, but I am just telling you, whether you bother someone or not, it's going to be okay. You're allowed to bother people and feel bothered too. Allow yourself to feel the relief that comes with unloading issues and/or resolving them.

But that's the thing. I hate - literally hate - bothering people, even if it's just a tiny bit. I open up but then I'll pretty much shut myself off again because I'm just that paranoid I'm annoying the fuck out of them. It's been this way with everyone. Family, friends, my ex-girlfriend, my psychologist - literally just about everyone. And on a number of times, I've tried opening up to BritGAF and then got defensive and shut myself off because I feel like I'm just some bothersome pest who has no place here. They have been great, though, even though it does appear I'm NOT taking their advice on board, I really am.

 

[Nilaul]

I felt the exact same way in my last relationship. Don't question or fight it. The important thing is to have the thought, but don't push it out. Carry on as normal leaving the question unanswered. This is difficult because of the anxiety, but if you pay less attention to the intrusive thoughts, and live your life as normal, the anxiety will reduce. Similarly, because you don't obsess over the thoughts they should stop popping up.

An extreme version of this attitude that works for some people is that when you have the thought to say "OK, maybe I don't love her, but I'm going to live my life anyway" leave the thoughts in your head and resolve that no matter what they say to you, you will not react.

This feels tremendously hard at first, but does get easier and there is some light at the end of the tunnel with this approach.

I let my intrusive thoughts inform my decisions also and have always regretted it. It's something that takes a lot of focus and willpower, but no matter what your intrusive thoughts say, do not give into them.

You definitely aren't alone with it jumping around in theme. My OCD went from health, to cleanliness, to crime to relationship. In my experience (and of friends) it certainly seems to move topic in that way . It's pretty awkward and annoying because of that!

People with OCD aren't doomed to relationship failure at all. I've met people with OCD that have had long marriages and fulfilling relationships, and you will too for sure.
It's all in how you react to the thoughts. The goal isn't too stop them coming but to let them come but don't react. When the intrusive thoughts come ignore it and live your life. Let it shout and scream all day if it wants, but if you ignore it I promise it will pass eventually.

Hope this helps a little.
.

How do you ignore them? Its weird because they always act like they make sense; so it makes them harder to ignore. I don't to start avoiding my GF either, because of her being associated with the anxiety/intrusive thoughts (which is a risk apparently).

 

[spacehippo]

I don't work at Macy's anymore and I don't think I want to work there again. I used to work there two years ago for three months. I had a lot of bad experiences that has to do with minor and major mistakes. My older brother suggested me to make new friends/gamer friends. Like I know how to make new friends. I have only have one friend on fb that I mostly chatted with but never hung out. I'm not going to make new friends because I'm not the engaging type, I have nothing in common with them, and though I do talk to some people in classes doesn't mean we're friends. Once we're done with our semester, I'm not going to see them or speak to them again. That's basically how it is for me.

In that case, perhaps not working at Macy's is a good thing then At least you have some experience you can put on your resume, which always helps with a new job. Try not to take the bad experiences to heart too much. Everybody makes mistakes (especially at work) so you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. It is in the past now.
In terms of the gamer friends idea, do you have anybody who you play online regularly with? a guild or even the GAF community threads for different series can be a good jumping off point.

It is tough as you get older to make friends. It's not quite as easy as people seem to think, I know where you are coming from. Could you ask that FB friend to hang out some time, or go out together and meet new people that way?

You are probably a lot more engaging than you think! I think most people are somewhat self conscious in that way but are actually OK. Besides you don't need to be charismatic all the time necessarily. Show an interest in people, ask them about themselves and that'll go a long way.
You should ask some of the people who you talk to if they want to hang out. Sometimes that can help build friendships.

Since you are in school, are there any clubs or societies you could join around activities that you are interested in? A gamer society/languages/photography a sport you could take up? A friend of mine even took up salsa/paint balling (though probably not at the same time!) anything to put yourself out there .

Those can be a good way to meet people you have things in common with. You start with what you are interested in, and get to meet like-minded people.

I'd at least give some clubs a try, you are bound to meet some people, and don't need to be the center of attention. If you don't like it, then you don't have to go again

 

[Curtisaur]

I don't know the reason why you couldn't possible take an afternoon off, but don't you think your employer would be much happier with you if you showed responsibility by not putting their reputation in danger? Consult with your manager about whatever it is you edited out. I'm sure they will be understanding.

What I edited out is that I keep thinking suicidal ideations. I don't want to tell my employer that at all. I was let go from one job essentially because of it and only just started this one.

If I go to the hospital I'll need to stay for more than an afternoon. I kinda wonder if I need ECT again. I don't know.

 

[spacehippo]

How do you ignore them? Its weird because they always act like they make sense; so it makes them harder to ignore. I don't to start avoiding my GF either, because of her being associated with the anxiety/intrusive thoughts (which is a risk apparently).

Yep, I see what you mean, it's very frustrating in that way because the thoughts feel legitimate.
When you have an intrusive thought for example, "I don't love my girlfriend" What is your first reaction? is it to push it out, or do you try and come up with evidence to prove you love your girlfriend?

What you have to try and do, is cut out the thinking part that comes after you have thought. Don't try and mentally answer the question of whether you love her or not. Don't weigh up any kind of evidence. In effect, do nothing and go about your day as if you never had the thought. It can keep popping up, but don't try and answer the thought. Leave it and focus on what you are doing.

If you can, do not avoid your girlfriend in anyway, as that will reinforce the thoughts and make them seem more real even when they are not. Sit with your girlfriend and do everything you would normally do, even if you feel anxious. This will lower your anxiety over time, as the theme won't seem as legitimate.

Could you explain your thought process a little when you have an intrusive thought? that might help me to be a little more specific.

Basically, rather than arguing with the thought and trying to decide whether it is true or not. Let the thought happen, accept the anxiety. and go about your day without answering whether it is real or OCD, let it sit in the back of your mind, but don't do anything to remove it.

 

[Nilaul]

Yep, I see what you mean, it's very frustrating in that way because the thoughts feel legitimate.
When you have an intrusive thought for example, "I don't love my girlfriend" What is your first reaction? is it to push it out, or do you try and come up with evidence to prove you love your girlfriend?

What you have to try and do, is cut out the thinking part that comes after you have thought. Don't try and mentally answer the question of whether you love her or not. Don't weigh up any kind of evidence. In effect, do nothing and go about your day as if you never had the thought. It can keep popping up, but don't try and answer the thought. Leave it and focus on what you are doing.

If you can, do not avoid your girlfriend in anyway, as that will reinforce the thoughts and make them seem more real even when they are not. Sit with your girlfriend and do everything you would normally do, even if you feel anxious. This will lower your anxiety over time, as the theme won't seem as legitimate.
Could you explain your thought process a little when you have an intrusive thought? that might help me to be a little more specific.

Basically, rather than arguing with the thought and trying to decide whether it is true or not. Let the thought happen, accept the anxiety. and go about your day without answering whether it is real or OCD, let it sit in the back of your mind, but don't do anything to remove it.

Basically what you said, plus I seem to be effected by my parents negative opinions (which then fuels it even more as if they seem not to approve of her). Its like "I'm placing the partner and the relationship under a microscope and finding faults" because of all this. I know no one ain't perfect and I really enjoy being with her.

Anything can trigger the intrusive thought, an ill feeling, feeling of tiredness, boredom, (literally anything feeling that don't have to do anything with my gf or the topic at hand), an nasty complaint from my gf, other people opinions. Its absolutely weird and random. I'm a very creative person so I take other people opinions a little much to the heart (e.g. Ill used to get offended severally and probably still do to some extent if someone does not like my art and tells it to my face). The creative side of me also makes me notices all the imperfections a little bit to much.

Of course after the intrusive thoughts kick in, first lightly, and then they escalate. Sometimes they just last and last and never go away. Sometimes its like the fear of getting these intrusive thoughts sometimes (and possibly the fear of being judged) cause the thoughts. One scenario: Omg she doesn't look good in this artificial light, really tired, *fear, gut feeling, anxiety* I immediately start to think bla bla bla. Another would be: My parents say something: And it refuels it. Or sometimes, it just kicks in randomly from out of the blue, after having so much fun. This happens in every single relationship.

My last couple of mind intrusive events:.

Relationships > School/Uni related stress and stuff > Thinking I'm gay > Relationship > Thinking I'm deadly sick and I'm going die out of literately out of nowhere > Sudden fear that someone will pay someone to kill me after getting blackmailed jokingly/ non-seriously twice (Skipped a week or two of uni) > Relation ship

Any bad habits?

My nails are nearly gone from biting them. Dunno if this has something to do with OCD but it pops up on the long lists of symptoms.

Other issues that happen like clockwork?

Not easy for me talk to brand new people, feel like I can't really trust them, under false impression that they do not like me. Sometimes I feel like no one likes me in the class. Prefer to talk and make friends with woman then men (woman seem to be happy to talk to me). Don't really have a lot of friends that I could clearly say we share same interests, and I like being around them. Actually I seem to only get along well and have fun with other people when playing football/soccer.

 

[spacehippo]

Basically what you said, plus I seem to be effected by my parents negative opinions (which then fuels it even more as if they seem not to approve of her). Its like "I'm placing the partner and the relationship under a microscope and finding faults" because of all this. I know no one ain't perfect and I really enjoy being with her.


My last couple of mind intrusive events:

Relationships > School/Uni related stress and stuff > Thinking I'm gay > Relationship > Thinking I'm deadly sick and I'm going die out of literately out of nowhere > Sudden fear that someone will pay someone to kill me after getting blackmailed jokingly/ non-seriously twice (Skipped a week or two of uni) > Relation ship

Any bad habits?

My nails are nearly gone from biting them. Dunno if this has something to do with OCD but it pops up on the long lists of symptoms.

Other issues that happen like clockwork?

Not easy for me talk to brand new people, feel like I can't really trust them, under false impression that they do not like me. Sometimes I feel like no one likes me in the class. Prefer to talk and make friends with woman then men (woman seem to be happy to talk to me). Don't really have a lot of friends that I could clearly say we share same interests, and I like being around them. Actually I seem to only get along well and have fun with other people when playing football/soccer.

I totally follow you. I did the same thing thing! I was analyzing words and text messages and all sorts. This isn't strictly an OCD thing, but if she makes you happy and you enjoy spending time with her, then above all else stay with her. It's your relationship and your opinion of her that matters, not your parents. That kind of negativity doesn't benefit anyone.

OK, so when you get the first thought, (in this case, relationships) let it go in your brain, but do not argue with this thought, don't even entertain it. Carry on with what you are doing and let the thought be.

If 5 minutes later, "What if I'm gay?" comes up do not discuss it mentally. Do not weigh up things like "I have a girlfriend, so I must not be gay" for example. The trick is to not even enter that cycle You can think all the intrusive thoughts you want but the important thing is not to react to them with that endless questioning. Leave it alone in the back of your mind.

If you do this, the thought become less important and they tend not to develop to the most extreme versions of the thought. By not reacting, they become like any other ordinary thought and life goes on

If you bite your nails in response to the thoughts then it might be compulsion related to OCD. It would be best to stop that if you could. If this results in anxiety, that's OK. Just know that it'll pass. I don't know if you are on medication, but that can help a lot with the anxiety so that could be something to think about.

That's OK I think, as we get older it seems that less and less people have huge friendship groups and it's more a close knit group of friends. If it bothers you, you could always put yourself out there and try some new sports or activities. That might make it easier to meet new people.

It's really awesome you are into football/soccer though! If you can, get on a team or play more of that on a regular basis as that can be a great way to make it easier to meet and talk to new people (the exercise is great for anxiety too)

 

[Nilaul]

I totally follow you. I did the same thing thing! I was analyzing words and text messages and all sorts. This isn't strictly an OCD thing, but if she makes you happy and you enjoy spending time with her, then above all else stay with her. It's your relationship and your opinion of her that matters, not your parents. That kind of negativity doesn't benefit anyone.

OK, so when you get the first thought, (in this case, relationships) let it go in your brain, but do not argue with this thought, don't even entertain it. Carry on with what you are doing and let the thought be.

If 5 minutes later, "What if I'm gay?" comes up do not discuss it mentally. Do not weigh up things like "I have a girlfriend, so I must not be gay" for example. The trick is to not even enter that cycle You can think all the intrusive thoughts you want but the important thing is not to react to them with that endless questioning. Leave it alone in the back of your mind.

If you do this, the thought become less important and they tend not to develop to the most extreme versions of the thought. By not reacting, they become like any other ordinary thought and life goes on

If you bite your nails in response to the thoughts then it might be compulsion related to OCD. It would be best to stop that if you could. If this results in anxiety, that's OK. Just know that it'll pass. I don't know if you are on medication, but that can help a lot with the anxiety so that could be something to think about.

That's OK I think, as we get older it seems that less and less people have huge friendship groups and it's more a close knit group of friends. If it bothers you, you could always put yourself out there and try some new sports or activities. That might make it easier to meet new people.

It's really awesome you are into football/soccer though! If you can, get on a team or play more of that on a regular basis as that can be a great way to make it easier to meet and talk to new people (the exercise is great for anxiety too)

I guess I have trained my brained to always come up with the negative potentially untrue worst case scenario, by letting it do its own thing. I need to stop reacting.

There seam to be some sort of link to my sanity and football, I cut out football for a month or two and its been downhill from there (Even though I did hit the gym).

 

[spacehippo]

I guess I have trained my brained to always come up with the negative potentially untrue worst case scenario, by letting it do its own thing. I need to stop reacting.

There seam to be some sort of link to my sanity and football, I cut out football for a month or two and its been downhill from there (Even though I did hit the gym).

I think that's the key thing with OCD. It always seems to try and get a reaction by using the thing that you dislike or fear most. Sort of an automatic worst case scenario. The less you react to it though, the less you feed it which is a good thing to keep in mind

Well then, I'd keep football up as much as you can, It's one of those great activities where there are pretty much zero negatives so I'd definitely keep it up if you can.

 

[White Man]

I binged so hard this weekend and I feel bad about it. I'm considering going back on my meds but I want to see if I can go longer without them. I really hate being on them even though they work.

 

[MisterLuffy]

In that case, perhaps not working at Macy's is a good thing then At least you have some experience you can put on your resume, which always helps with a new job. Try not to take the bad experiences to heart too much. Everybody makes mistakes (especially at work) so you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. It is in the past now.
In terms of the gamer friends idea, do you have anybody who you play online regularly with? a guild or even the GAF community threads for different series can be a good jumping off point.

It is tough as you get older to make friends. It's not quite as easy as people seem to think, I know where you are coming from. Could you ask that FB friend to hang out some time, or go out together and meet new people that way?

You are probably a lot more engaging than you think! I think most people are somewhat self conscious in that way but are actually OK. Besides you don't need to be charismatic all the time necessarily. Show an interest in people, ask them about themselves and that'll go a long way.
You should ask some of the people who you talk to if they want to hang out. Sometimes that can help build friendships.

Since you are in school, are there any clubs or societies you could join around activities that you are interested in? A gamer society/languages/photography a sport you could take up? A friend of mine even took up salsa/paint balling (though probably not at the same time!) anything to put yourself out there .

Those can be a good way to meet people you have things in common with. You start with what you are interested in, and get to meet like-minded people.

I'd at least give some clubs a try, you are bound to meet some people, and don't need to be the center of attention. If you don't like it, then you don't have to go again

There is that AnimeFX club at my university. I wasn't sure if I wanted to join the club or not. I'm going to have lunch with my two friends tomorrow. Not with the one I talk to the most on fb. The one I talked to the most on fb usually invites me to his house to play fighting games. I only go on school days so my parents wouldn't know where I go. They don't want me to go people's houses.

 

[spacehippo]

There is that AnimeFX club at my university. I wasn't sure if I wanted to join the club or not. I'm going to have lunch with my two friends tomorrow. Not with the one I talk to the most on fb. The one I talked to the most on fb usually invites me to his house to play fighting games. I only go on school days so my parents wouldn't know where I go. They don't want me to go people's houses.

I'd definitely give the AnimeFX club a shot. If you don't like it, or the people in it, then you needn't go again, but there's no harm in trying it once.

Well look forward to that then! Think of it like, each interaction is building up experience and comfort. Before you know it, verbal communication won't seem so daunting and you'll be more confident with it. It just takes some small steps and time to get comfortable with it.

 

[MisterLuffy]

I'd definitely give the AnimeFX club a shot. If you don't like it, or the people in it, then you needn't go again, but there's no harm in trying it once.

Well look forward to that then! Think of it like, each interaction is building up experience and comfort. Before you know it, verbal communication won't seem so daunting and you'll be more confident with it. It just takes some small steps and time to get comfortable with it.

This sucks, my mom now tells me she's going somewhere tomorrow and wants to borrow my clipper card. I don't know if I'm able to make it tomorrow to hang out with my friends. Looks like I'm not meant to have friends after all. This is why I don't go outside or contact friends to hang out because I feel like I'm obligated to stay home. Why don't I have freedom or the voice? Why?! This is the reason why I want to drive, but I'm not motivated to drive. I'm so lazy in studying for the dmv written test.

 

[spacehippo]

This sucks, my mom now tells me she's going somewhere tomorrow and wants to borrow my clipper card. I don't know if I'm able to make it tomorrow to hang out with my friends. Looks like I'm not meant to have friends after all. This is why I don't go outside or contact friends to hang out because I feel like I'm obligated to stay home. Why don't I have freedom or the voice? Why?! This is the reason why I want to drive, but I'm not motivated to drive. I'm so lazy in studying for the dmv written test.

That is a shame. Try not to get disheartened though, believe me you are supposed to, and will have friends. This is just a small setback. I can understand how you feel somewhat obligated when your parents don't really want you to leave in that way. Could you perhaps talk to your parents about it? If they understood, maybe they would allow you at least one night a week to go out, which would make a big difference.

I know motivation can be a tough thing to find sometimes. (It takes a lot to get me to study!) Maybe try breaking the task down a bit. Say make a commitment to study for an hour everyday. One thing that works for me is incentives. Look at it like "If I study for an hour, I can watch an episode of Game of Thrones or have a bar of chocolate" Keep in mind the freedom you will get to go wherever you want and that should help keep your motivation up a lot.

 

[kyoya]

Hi everyone,

sorry to intrude, I'm kind of a lurker in this thread, but I thought I might throw out a piece of information for those of you that take meds and have to pay a lot of money for them here in the U.S.

Just recently I was stressing about how much I was going to have to pay to get my refill of Escitalopram (generic version of Lexapro). I have no health insurance. Just a refill of 30 (10 mg) was going to cost me $130 at Wal-Mart. My doctor then recommended something he'd heard from another patient about a website called GoodRx.com.

I went to GoodRx, looked up my medication with zip code, and I got a list of local pharmacies with extremely low prices. My Wal-Mart pharmacy with a GoodRX coupon was offering a 90% discount. The only downside was that it was for 20 mg tablets, I'd have to break them in half. My doctor knew this since he had previously looked it up and already called in a refill for that amount.

I printed out the GoodRX coupon, took it to Wal-Mart and the pharmacist let out a blunt "Wow" when he processed the coupon. I only had to pay $10.60, I was floored.

I highly recommend GoodRX for meds, it may help put some money back in your pocket and alleviate some worries. More details on how GoodRX does this and partners with local US pharmacies is available at their website.

Hope this helps everyone here (or perhaps someone you know) - seriously!

 

[MisterLuffy]

That is a shame. Try not to get disheartened though, believe me you are supposed to, and will have friends. This is just a small setback. I can understand how you feel somewhat obligated when your parents don't really want you to leave in that way. Could you perhaps talk to your parents about it? If they understood, maybe they would allow you at least one night a week to go out, which would make a big difference.

I know motivation can be a tough thing to find sometimes. (It takes a lot to get me to study!) Maybe try breaking the task down a bit. Say make a commitment to study for an hour everyday. One thing that works for me is incentives. Look at it like "If I study for an hour, I can watch an episode of Game of Thrones or have a bar of chocolate" Keep in mind the freedom you will get to go wherever you want and that should help keep your motivation up a lot.

Right now I do have a lot of time on my hands since my class starts at 7pm. I need to start doing that, rewarding myself after I study. But I don't do it because I'm greedy. Having car defines freedom imo. I'm too lazy getting a license. I'm not like others who desperately wants to drive.

 

[spacehippo]

Right now I do have a lot of time on my hands since my class starts at 7pm. I need to start doing that, rewarding myself after I study. But I don't do it because I'm greedy. Having car defines freedom imo. I'm too lazy getting a license. I'm not like others who desperately wants to drive.

That's good in one way then as if you have plenty of time, now would be the time to join some clubs or activities. If you are concerned with over-rewarding, have the reward set at one thing and resolve never to go over it. One bar of chocolate, one hour of TV whatever you prefer. You can even have the reward be the same thing every day. As long as you get it where it is a set routine, you won't be tempted to go increase the reward too much.

Well, although driving might make things somewhat easier, if you don't want to drive you don't have too. You can still do most everything without a car (just sometimes takes a little longer!)
I'm sure your city or village will have local clubs or events for social interaction, so don't sweat not being able to drive.

 

[LurkerNoMore]

this might be random, but is anyone else here a homeless youth? ive been in these programs for depression with being homeless and honestly it does help to know that your not alone, i live in toronto by the way pm me if you have any questions