hello... hopefully this isn't the wrong place to be asking this, but I have a friend of mine who is 18 years old and suffers from depression and anxiety and I have been trying to support him through this whole thing. His situation is a bit complex, and he refuses to reach out for help from his parents and is reluctant to see a doctor because it would have to involve his parents. I'm gonna try my best to lay out this whole thing, because there's a lot to it
so my friend (let's call him Kyle) has been suffering from this for a while, i don't exactly know when it all started for him but i know he was starting to have a tougher time after he had graduated from high school and pretty much all of his friends had moved away. so he started feeling sad because for a long time he didn't really get to hang out with anyone and spent a lot of his time at home. eventually he started to tell me about what he had been feeling, and so of course i started inviting him over to my house so it wasn't so bad for him (first time he had ever come over, we were pretty casual friends in high school, like i would only really talk to him at school and online sometimes), and whenever he would come over it would help him feel better temporarily, but his mood would just drop down the next day.
Last year he struggled with his sexuality a lot, he had feelings for guys to an extent and was confused if he was gay, and two years ago, one of his closer friends had revealed to him that he liked him and then Kyle acted out of fear and started pushing away from his friend, telling him that he didn't want to talk to him anymore. They didn't really start talking again until this year, but Kyle was still a little confused about his sexuality, so around October 2013 i had him explain to me exactly everything he felt about people, and i had a gut feeling that he could be asexual, so i basically told him to look everything up about it, and he said that the way he felt was exactly as how it was described on the internet. he also now didn't care if he was gay or not and was not afraid of those feelings, and had told me that he had feelings for his friend who had come out to him, and was feeling extreme regret over the whole thing especially now that said friend had acquired a girlfriend in the meantime.
so to wrap things up a bit quicker, most of Kyle's depression and anxiety seem to stem from his fear about the future, how he feels like he will never find a partner who would be happy being with him (he's disgusted by the penis and vagina, only attracted to what's "above the waist"), scared about his future because he hasn't been doing very well in his community college (but after he had reached out to me about that i've recently been trying to help him get his assignments finished), he hates himself because he feels like he isn't interesting in the slightest, and that so many people in his life seem to have a problem with the way he walks or about how he is so quiet/awkward and introverted. he tells me that he has like an existential crisis, how sometimes he can't even tell if he's in a dream or that he even is actually real.
he had recently come out to his parents about being asexual and though his dad was totally indifferent about it, his mother was totally bewildered and ended up getting into a huge fight with his father, and she basically told him that she can understand being straight or gay but thought he was just not being true to himself. She even initially contemplated about getting his hormone levels checked out but for some reason that didn't pan out and told Kyle to just focus on getting a career and his future instead of his sexuality, which i thought was pretty silly advice. kyle also gets extremely stressed out at his work (jack in the box) and has sometimes been harassed by his manager by telling him to "act like a man," "don't be such a pussy" etc. and asked often about why he doesnt have a girlfriend of if he is gay and whatnot, which i found to be extremely surprising and i told him that he should report him for harassment, but he refuses to because he says that he doesn't care about it and that it doesn't get to him, which i know is not true
the combination of work and school and his depression just creates a messy situation and he broke down last week because he was afraid that he wasn't going to pass one of his classes and that he'd be placed in academic probation, and his parents want him to get through everything as quickly as possible because they have told him that they want to get him out of the house, and when he broke down he basically told me that he hated me and didnt want to talk to me ever again, which stumped me and i tried my best to figure out exactly what had happened to him, and eventually i got through to him and he told me that he didn't feel like he deserved anything. he said he didn't deserve to have food, water, shelter, or my help, and it was completely heartbreaking so i wanted to help him as best as i could by helping him complete his old assignments which he had 0 points for. it gave him great hope and he seemed to be feeling better, but then work brought him back down again, so it's been a real rollercoaster
i guess what i'm asking is, what would be the best possible way for me to get him some help? i'm 18 as well and we both lack driver's licenses, and i don't have a job either so I don't really have the financial means or ways of getting him somewhere to get help. i've asked if I should try to get my parents to help and he really doesn't want that because then he'd be betraying his parents trust for not asking them, but yet he doesn't want to ask them because he feels that they've been struggling enough with their own issues and doesn't want to get them to worry about anything else. should i refer to him the resources on the OP? i really want to help him out the best that i can, and i've been trying to be as understanding and aware of the feelings associated with depression, i just don't really know if what i'm doing is helping... any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you gaf