I dunno, with thinking like this, then you'd never consider anyone a friend
You can add qualifiers, like close friend, best friend, etc. But the jump from stranger to friend for me is quite easy.
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
- Status
I dunno, with thinking like this, then you'd never consider anyone a friend
You can add qualifiers, like close friend, best friend, etc. But the jump from stranger to friend for me is quite easy.
I know that feeling rather well. While I think anybody you can meet or converse with is a friend in disguise, the problem I find with many people is that they adore the efforts you offer them, but if the moment ever arises where it would be desirable to get it in return, they fail at delivering. Many people, like it or not, are incredibly selfish individuals. If it does not directly benefit them, they don't care and turn a blind eye. If you can see that, then it starts to help you not be like that, because you can hopefully see how empty and cold that can be.
The way I deal with it is to be the person I want to be, whether or not people ever respond to me. I attempt to offer kindness and a compassionate mind to whomever I speak of, even if in most cases this is never returned on some level. I can't change or make others act in ways I desire, but I can do that for myself. I am very used to being bailed on or forgotten about, but the way I look at it is that it is the ignorance and self-centeredness of the other, not me. I can sincerely admit I have no close friends on ANY level; everyone I know is distant on some level or they just bail on me entirely, and I have zero interest in connecting with people in my peer group in most cases. Knowing I have a hard time relating and "keeping" others has only made me more comfortable with who I am, because I embrace that I dance to a different beat than others. Sometimes that loneliness is a way to think and reflect on yourself.
You could also choose to fight fire with fire, but I would firmly stress against it. If you feel these actions are akin to spitting on your face, make sure you get snake venom and spit it at them in return. Not literally, of course. Though that would only get them out of your way and life, for better or worse..
MisterLuffy
Member
That's the hard part for me...deducing to the important information. Again, even if I know the information I need to put down on paper, my brain is slow enough to gather that information. This goes for the classes I'm taking like Data Structures and Ethnic Studies.
I feel like that is a good description of the attitude I want or need to take in this situation. I want to feel like I can be the example of what I would want from friends, and perhaps by being myself in that manner, can actually help influence people positively and encourage some more considerate behaviour. With that said, it can be slowly demoralising to feel forgotten.
Thanks for the thoughtful reply.
I've really narrowed it down over the years. For me, a friend is someone who cares about me, who always has my back. Anyone else is basically an acquaintance and there's nothing wrong with those either. It can be nice to just shoot the breeze without any further commitment to the person. But I couldn't live without my friends and the knowledge that I'm loved by them.
I'm not sure if this has been brought up in the thread yet, but Paul Gilmartin (of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast) recently tweeted about this website where trained listeners will converse with you for free.
Of course, they're trained listeners, not mental health professionals, but it could be useful for some.
Of course, they're trained listeners, not mental health professionals, but it could be useful for some.
Hey guys...I feel bad for just kinda posting, and not really contributing much, but I'm not really sure what else to do at this point.
Back when there was a depression OT, I had popped in there about a year ago when I was struggling with some pretty tough problems. I was at the lowest I had ever been about a year ago, and I have made some strides since then. I am still regularly going to therapy sessions, on antidepressants that I'm not sure if they help, and I'm even on adderall to help with my ADD.
Considering where I was at this time last year, I have made some huge leaps in trying to better myself. I am trying to bring in the positive more, and find new ways to express myself, and just focus on more positive thinking. I still haven't solved some of the things in my life that feel inherent to some of my problems, like making friends, and being social in general. Instead of being upset about it all the time, I've been trying to make efforts in just keep on improving myself and my mindset so that it'll happen naturally instead of forcing anything to happen.
I've been trying to focus on school, and just finding ways to expand my mind so it's more productive, and I've tried to enjoy myself playing a video game when I'm just relaxing at home. For months I feel like I've been doing alright in trying to make improvements, but something is off lately.
I don't know what it is, but for the past few days I have just felt like something has been misplaced inside me. My mind can't focus, I can't relax, I can't enjoy myself in almost anything I try to do. I can't think of anything I can possibly do inside my home, or outside. I have no friends to call to go out, I have no where to go, I feel trapped. I'm trying to relax sometimes by just finding a game to boot up and play even, but I can't get into anything. It feels like the last thing I want to do. I go outside, and I just want to get back home. I'm at home, and I want to get the hell out. I don't know what's wrong, and I wish I knew what to do.
I know there's nothing anyone here can do, but I just needed to express how I was feeling =/
Back when there was a depression OT, I had popped in there about a year ago when I was struggling with some pretty tough problems. I was at the lowest I had ever been about a year ago, and I have made some strides since then. I am still regularly going to therapy sessions, on antidepressants that I'm not sure if they help, and I'm even on adderall to help with my ADD.
Considering where I was at this time last year, I have made some huge leaps in trying to better myself. I am trying to bring in the positive more, and find new ways to express myself, and just focus on more positive thinking. I still haven't solved some of the things in my life that feel inherent to some of my problems, like making friends, and being social in general. Instead of being upset about it all the time, I've been trying to make efforts in just keep on improving myself and my mindset so that it'll happen naturally instead of forcing anything to happen.
I've been trying to focus on school, and just finding ways to expand my mind so it's more productive, and I've tried to enjoy myself playing a video game when I'm just relaxing at home. For months I feel like I've been doing alright in trying to make improvements, but something is off lately.
I don't know what it is, but for the past few days I have just felt like something has been misplaced inside me. My mind can't focus, I can't relax, I can't enjoy myself in almost anything I try to do. I can't think of anything I can possibly do inside my home, or outside. I have no friends to call to go out, I have no where to go, I feel trapped. I'm trying to relax sometimes by just finding a game to boot up and play even, but I can't get into anything. It feels like the last thing I want to do. I go outside, and I just want to get back home. I'm at home, and I want to get the hell out. I don't know what's wrong, and I wish I knew what to do.
I know there's nothing anyone here can do, but I just needed to express how I was feeling =/
I'm glad that you've been improving yourself. That's usually the hardest part for people. As for your recent feelings of stagnation, you might just be stuck in a rut. It happens. Maybe you need to add something new to your routine or mix it up a little, make room for random variables.
Hi, friend. First, you should not feel bad for not contributing. Who says you have to? Second, I may not have the advice to help you out with what you feel like lately, but I can offer my time and ear to talk to you. I have no idea if that'd help, but if you wish to take me up on that offer (and anyone sincerely can, I don't bite) feel free to PM me. Sometimes people just need someone to shoot the shit with, you know? :3
bigmakattack
Banned
I don't know what it is, but despite feeling pretty great the past few months, with a few bad days here and there, I've been feel real shitty the past few days. Motivation hasn't been showing up and tough to communicate. Not the best thing with finals approaching, though I've had enough energy to get my school work done. Shit sucks and just felt like getting it out.
MisterLuffy
Member
I feel the same way. I feel as if motivation doesn't exist within me. I keep saying to myself or to someone over and over again that I don't have the motivation to do anything. I'm on the verge of being in probation, meaning that I can't register for 3 semesters at my university if and only if I don't pass my classes this semester, because I got 1.66 gpa grade. And the term "motivation" doesn't even kick in when I need it the most. I also have trouble communicating because of my social anxiety and I barely have any people to talk to. I'm mostly independent.
I think I'm going crazy, well everyone else thinks I am and honestly I know I'm not. I've been sick for quite some time now but the doctors don't know what it is or why it's happening. All the tests that they run come back perfect.
Now when I go to the doctor they treat me like someone that's wasting their precious time while they could be helping real people in need. So they sit me in a room, tell me it's just stress and anxiety and depression and I should just sit there calm down and then I can go home. They shove anti anxiety medication at me and push me out the door
I wasn't depressed before but I really am now. I decided not to go to the hospital this time but I'm in so much pain I wish I could just stop breathing. My chest is on fire and I'm just pushing through it. I don't think I'm going to die from this but it leaves me physically and emotionally drained.
My current job is helping people with mental illness and I wonder if this is how they're treated when they go to the hospital and the answers to their problems are not as easy to obtain.
Now when I go to the doctor they treat me like someone that's wasting their precious time while they could be helping real people in need. So they sit me in a room, tell me it's just stress and anxiety and depression and I should just sit there calm down and then I can go home. They shove anti anxiety medication at me and push me out the door
I wasn't depressed before but I really am now. I decided not to go to the hospital this time but I'm in so much pain I wish I could just stop breathing. My chest is on fire and I'm just pushing through it. I don't think I'm going to die from this but it leaves me physically and emotionally drained.
My current job is helping people with mental illness and I wonder if this is how they're treated when they go to the hospital and the answers to their problems are not as easy to obtain.
This is a very familiar story to me, as it was mine. What are your symptoms?
I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you. Have you considered going to a private hospital or some private practise doctor? I know you're forking out money but they will give you much more of their time.
To answer your question, though, having gone through terrible shit in the past year yes, this is how doctors and hospitals treat you when you have a mental health problem and they don't know what it is. It took me 6-8 months after I started looking for help to actually receive it in any meaningful way and that included days when I would literally be knocking on the doors of various hospitals and mental health organisations asking for help.
My symptoms are that I get to the point where I just can't breathe. I can't pull in ear and I start choking. My chest feels tight and on fire and I've passed out at work and was taken to the hospital by a coworker. I've been to a couple of places but they're all connected on the Web so they just pull up my record and say what can I do for you that doctors haven't done? They tell me I don't have asthma so they refuse to give me oxygen or other medications to help. I sit there gasping for breath and they're telling me that I'm getting enough air.
That's when they start saying that it's in my head when I know it's not. But they're machines say everything is fine.
That's when they start saying that it's in my head when I know it's not. But they're machines say everything is fine.
What's the deal with suicide hotlines? Why is it always, "IF THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, PLEASE TALK"? Why isn't there one that's like, "Hey, if you just need to talk to someone, that's cool." Ugh. I'm kinda just messin' around as I obviously know why, but it's kinda annoying. Is there any hotline that's like that or do I just need to seek therapy?
I'm not sure about the US but trained listeners exist in the UK. Samaritans is one such line.
If you're having suicidal intentions or you plan on killing yourself or even imagine what it would be like, then definitely counselling/psychiatry is the way to go. These are trained people that know exactly how to lead you out of that particular hole.
However if you're just feeling lonely and sad, I've seen this site recommened here: https://www.7cupsoftea.com/ . I've tried it today and it really did help. Spent an hour talking to a girl about my problems and she was really nice about it all and helped me put my thoughts in order. Now don't expect that these people will sort out your problems for you but they are a good ad-hoc solution.
HappyBivouac
Member
I just saw a counselor about depression. She told me that in addition to counseling I should think about getting meds. She said I should go to see the doctor at student health services, but apparently they're booked for weeks. The fuck.
Go see a general GP if you feel like you need meds. Meds themselves take a good 2-3 weeks to start having a small effect and 6-8 weeks before really kicking in, so the sooner the better in this case.
Having said that there is a lot to be said against taking meds as well. I know I have had a horrible time trying to make a decision whether or not to take them, so I would be happy to discuss it all with if you want to PM me. Also if you are having doubts about them tell that to your counsellor. She should be able to work with you even if you refuse to take them.
I've had this sense of dread for days now and it wont go away. It's this feeling that I forgot something so monumentally important that it feels like the world is gonna end. Like bigger than the president losing the nuclear football type situation. But I don't actually think I forgot anything in reality?
I need this to go away. Someone make it go away please
I need this to go away. Someone make it go away please
Prax
Member
To me, that honestly sounds like a panic attack.
Can't breathe, feel like you MIGHT die/pass out, and maybe comes out of nowhere?
If all signs seems to point to you being medically fine otherwise except that you feel like you are going nuts/body wants to shut down, they may be right about it being more anxiety than anything else.
Have you tried taking any anti-anxiety meds they prescribed to see if it helps?
Maybe it's just one of those passing moods if you haven't actually forgotten anything important.
Sometimes feelings are stupid and meaningless (as if your brain is half in dream-mode) and you just need to work around them because you have better/other things you want to do. At least that's my stance! I get that dread is hard to ignore though, but hopefully it just goes on its way and gets replaced with more productive feelings soon. Perhaps you need to break up your routine to give your emotions a jumpstart in a different direction?
After hearing about positive results from using MDMA to treat PTSD, I tried it about a year ago. The positive and uplifting afterglow lasted for about a week, but the rubber-band snap back in the other direction after that week was just too much for me to handle. I think it's better for me to try to keep my emotions stable, rather than a rollercoaster.
I've found that marijuana is really the only thing that helps with most of my symptoms (no appetite, irritability, anxiety, inability to sleep).
I've used LSD and many other psychedelics in high school, but I'm deathly afraid of how I would react to them the way I am now.
But nothing is worse than alcohol.
MisterLuffy
Member
I seriously have a feeling that I'm going to get kicked out from my university or at least not be able to register for 3 semesters. I have like 6 weeks left, and I don't know how I'm doing in C programming class because my instructor hasn't graded homework 3 and 4. I failed the first exam and got D- on the second project. I got a C on the first quiz and C/C- on an exam for Ethnic Studies. I'm angry with myself because I'm not waking up from this situation, this problem supposed to motivate me, but it isn't. Instead it discourages me and makes me think that I won't make it in time for graduation in 4-5 years.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Remember said "friend" I mentioned? Texted him last night and never received a reply back. At this point it looks officially like he is no longer my "friend". I am now officially alone in this city. I really fucking despise people. Really fucking despise them.
Thank you but I have taken them to no avail. It always comes with a sinus infection and at times laryngitis. And it always happens after physical activity. When I went down at work I was moving boxes.
I am going to try to find a private doctor like the prior poster said. It's a long shot but I'm getting desperate.
Collete
Member
No matter what I do...I realize everything I dream, wish, strive, and work for crumbles into dust...
No one reciprocates love to me...and I realize now I'm just the scum of the earth, I'm not the salt of it.
And I'm losing my sanity to the point I don't know if I can hold it back much longer or if any of my other friends would notice...I don't want them involved in this mess any longer...What am I even doing...I'm not a good artist....I'll never get paid for this shit to support myself...the writing in my novel I realize now is just garbage...
I'm just fooling myself to think I could make it in this world...
No one reciprocates love to me...and I realize now I'm just the scum of the earth, I'm not the salt of it.
And I'm losing my sanity to the point I don't know if I can hold it back much longer or if any of my other friends would notice...I don't want them involved in this mess any longer...What am I even doing...I'm not a good artist....I'll never get paid for this shit to support myself...the writing in my novel I realize now is just garbage...
I'm just fooling myself to think I could make it in this world...
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
That is such crap, your drawings are great. What do you mean everything crumbles into dust? Something you want to talk about?
Collete
Member
My dreams just crumble into dust...Getting out of this house and making it on my own doing what I love...it's just stupid now that I think about it. It's not possible for me....It never will be...No one will buy my work, I'm not that great of an artist for that shit to happen where I can get enough to support myself. Even if I did get into grad school, I doubt I'll get a job anyways.
Then there's fall out with a friend on GAF who will remain unnamed but I've been blocked by him over some stupid drama that shouldn't have even happened.
I'm just tired of it all right now...I just want rest...
Lionheart1827
Member
I don't post here much at all, but I just wanted to give you guys my story to possibly help you with your battles.
I was obese and had no real prospects going for me during the ages of 14-19. I was incredibly depressed with my life and the fact that I hadn't even graduated high school at the age of 19. I'd sit and just cry in my room for days, barely doing anything remotely enjoyable. Nothing I did was ever really fun - not video games, not watching movies or tv shows, going out with friends would help, but once I was alone the thoughts and depression would immediately come back. There'd be rare times I'd get completely enamored in a game(such as fall out new vegas) and forget for a bit and was actually able to enjoy myself for a few hours.
Then a turning point in my life, my father took me to see a psychiatrist and I had my first and only meeting with him that day, but just sitting with him and talking for a few hours about everything seemed to crack open that door to a normal life. The day after I woke up for the first time ever with a happy thought and not the dread of a new day. I started to see what changes I could make to my life slowly and gradually to try and fight through the depression. I started with hitting the gym, and changing my diet. I managed to teach myself self control and the ability to work towards a goal. Simply having a goal you actually want to reach and working towards it seemed to make things a lot easier. Sure enough I reached every goal I had set and during that trek, I went back and finished high school and am currently in college maintaining a 4.0 and hoping to get into medical school soon.
For me, I never thought I'd ever reach this point of my life(i'm currently 23). But i'm truly happy I never went through with any of the suicide attempts I had dreamt up on those lonely dark days.
My basic advice for anyone - look at things in your current life, really assess them and determine what you can do to better it and just work towards those goals. This was my strategy and every goal I reached made me feel better and more normal.
I was obese and had no real prospects going for me during the ages of 14-19. I was incredibly depressed with my life and the fact that I hadn't even graduated high school at the age of 19. I'd sit and just cry in my room for days, barely doing anything remotely enjoyable. Nothing I did was ever really fun - not video games, not watching movies or tv shows, going out with friends would help, but once I was alone the thoughts and depression would immediately come back. There'd be rare times I'd get completely enamored in a game(such as fall out new vegas) and forget for a bit and was actually able to enjoy myself for a few hours.
Then a turning point in my life, my father took me to see a psychiatrist and I had my first and only meeting with him that day, but just sitting with him and talking for a few hours about everything seemed to crack open that door to a normal life. The day after I woke up for the first time ever with a happy thought and not the dread of a new day. I started to see what changes I could make to my life slowly and gradually to try and fight through the depression. I started with hitting the gym, and changing my diet. I managed to teach myself self control and the ability to work towards a goal. Simply having a goal you actually want to reach and working towards it seemed to make things a lot easier. Sure enough I reached every goal I had set and during that trek, I went back and finished high school and am currently in college maintaining a 4.0 and hoping to get into medical school soon.
For me, I never thought I'd ever reach this point of my life(i'm currently 23). But i'm truly happy I never went through with any of the suicide attempts I had dreamt up on those lonely dark days.
My basic advice for anyone - look at things in your current life, really assess them and determine what you can do to better it and just work towards those goals. This was my strategy and every goal I reached made me feel better and more normal.
And every goal you feel to reach makes you feel more and more unsure about yourself.
I assume you meant 'fail to reach' - in which case, that is why you need to set yourself realistic goals that you know you should be able to reach and work towards those. I didn't set myself up to lose 200 Lbs, it happened over the course of a year and I slowly chipped away at it setting up goals such as 'lose 10 lbs' and then I'd take however long to work on that. It's all about being slow and realistic about your life and how you can improve it. It can be hard to figure out what exactly will help you because only you know what makes you happy in life.
Every goal I reached made me believe in myself and that I could pull through. I can look back at my life and be proud of what I accomplished. Rather than always thinking about others I started to think about myself and my well being something I never felt during my years of depression.
This dread is crushing, damn.
And prax, I am pretty sure it's all in my head and I didn't forget anything but I can't turn this feeling off regardless.
Before this happened I had another moment of forgetting and the dread there was bad, but then I remembered! (It was to shave) and it felt so good once I remembered!
Is it possible my mind was like "That feeling of relief felt real good, let's try for that again?" and that's what this dread is?
And prax, I am pretty sure it's all in my head and I didn't forget anything but I can't turn this feeling off regardless.
Before this happened I had another moment of forgetting and the dread there was bad, but then I remembered! (It was to shave) and it felt so good once I remembered!
Is it possible my mind was like "That feeling of relief felt real good, let's try for that again?" and that's what this dread is?
MisterLuffy
Member
I hate myself so much. I rather be someone else with the brains, confidence, and motivation to do better than this. I don't deserve to have fun, I can't have fun when this kind of issue is on top of my head. Also the thought of being kicked out from my university.
Prax
Member
So your breathing issues also come with sinus infections or laryngitis? Or do you mean that maybe you are allergic to the medication? o_o
It still sounds a little bit like a panic attack to me, but the trigger is physical activity? That's really weird. Do you think maybe it's like a lung spasm? I am not sure if that really exists, but it sounds possible. I actually vaguely remember a thread on GAF about symptoms that kind of matched with you described. But that might have been coupled with random chest pain too.
At what point does the breathing problem resolve/go away? Do you go back to normal after a few hours?
It's good you're going to get it checked out, but I think your anxiety about it will only make it that much worse and traumatic every time you experience it happening though. Don't let it drive you crazy and ruin your life and try to think of it as an inconvenience at most. Keep reminding yourself that you're getting this taken care of in time and be patient with yourself.
If you're tired and want to rest, then rest!
But don't give up on your dreams and goals so easily. We have big dreams to drive our ambition to do things in our lives. Even if they're not completely realistic dreams, it helps drive you forward, and that's good. You'll be surprised how far you manage to go despite feeling like you have no fuel for any of it. Even if say your dream is to be a famous author/illustrator, and you don't quite get fame, you'd still have developed writing skills, composition and artistic skills, good appreciation for the work it takes to create something out of nothing, AND all the evidence (the created stuff!) for it! That's pretty good to me.
I think a lot of people worry about not standing out or living in mediocrity and disappearing, but I want to tell everyone it's OKAY to not be brilliant because that's a lot of pressure for no reason if it's tearing you down. It takes all kinds of people to keep this world going, and it should be okay to try your best to be a good person, work towards your own goals, and even just scrape by if need be. Don't judge yourself so harshly for a future you haven't even reached yet. Keep celebrating your little accomplishments, no matter what they are. If it took you effort to even get out of bed, but you did it, then good! GOOD! Give yourself points!
Pursue your goals and enjoy yourself and see where you end up when you're 80ish and then maybe decide how it all went. There's still a long life ahead yet for almost everyone, and there's no point in playing psychic and concluding before the future has even happened.
As for the fallout with the friend, if he knows you're sincere in wanting to start the friendship over again, then I'm sure he'll open the doors for communication when the anger subsides. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Hang in there and keep pursuing what you want! If creative expression is your true goal or passion, then it'll probably be a (nagging lol) part of your life no matter what, so you may as well develop it~
That may it it! Maybe your brain thinks "ooh, I got a reward!" so it's just making you dread again hoping for a reward. xD So stupid of your brain if that's the case, but what are you going to do besides letting the feeling become background noise?
I am pretty sure that's how my feelings with procrastination keeps spiraling. I stress every time, but the payoff for finally getting whatever task done in the last minute is so satisfying that I probably just keep doing it again and again to push limits. It's dumb and I need to not let stress/relief cycle overtake my life because I have things I want done NOW, dang it!
You can only be yourself, but that also means you're the one who can develop yourself to have those things. It will take time, but it's possible!
Also, I think it's healthier to not think of basic human desires as part of a "deserve" or "doesn't deserve" list. You're just trying to survive and keep yourself sane like most people. Just do what you can one situation or task at a time.
I think dopplr had pretty good advice for everyone. Set small realistic goals that require some effort but you know that of course they are realistic for you. If it means just getting up to a mirror to practice a few lines in a presentation, then let that be a goal. Even failing some goals, you have made it somewhere different from the start at least.
I think that's the mindset behind one of my favourite Dinosaur Comics strips.
And I'm not saying failure doesn't SUCK overall, but once that's done and over with and you have to live with it (if it's not like.. cutting the wrong wire when diffusing a bomb lol), you realize life goes on anyway, and you've got other things to do, other approximations to make. And it's a good attitude to have overall because you don't need to beat yourself up after failing (because perceived feeling of failing itself is the beat up already. Don't overdo it!).
CELEBRATE YOUR APPROXIMATIONS OF SUCCESS, EVERYONE.
Like the hat?
Banned
After years of trying to deal with things everything has come to a head. My doctor has put me on cymbalta as of yesterday. I was just wondering if any of you have been on that and if it has helped and if there is anything I need to worry about
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
I feel ya, but you can't just give up. I was going insane for a while now and last month I landed my dream job. You just to keep pushing towards it. We talked about this before when you were upset about the college degree thread. Shit isn't easy, it doesn't fall into your lap but if you keep pushing yourself to progress and you are motivated someone will eventually notice you. It may not be immediately but they will eventually. It took me over a year to get this job. There was a lot of low points and wanting to just give up without a doubt. Plan out how you want to reach your goal. That usually helps people the most. Seeing the progress and being focused helps greatly. I'll do x which will bring me to y so I can start preparing for z... Etc... If you ever want to talk about it let me know.
While not being on cymbalta precisely I'm similarly on serotonin inducing meds. I was very much against them at the start as I've heard that they might actually make you feel worse for a short while. In fact there was a warning of a potential suicidal intentions with them for the first 2-3 weeks. So I only started taking them after about 6 months of counselling when I was in a much better place.
Anyway, they work. They give you more energy, the world becomes much clearer and you can make great strides in your counselling as you're not getting bogged down on the shittiness of everyday but rather tackled the big issues. They take a good bit to kick in and at the start they made me very sleepy till my body got used to them. Don't forget to take them everytime you're supposed to and you should be fine. Also your doctor probably explained this to you, but after you start taking them you will be on them for quite some time to finish off the cycle. Kinda like antibiotics, you have to finish off the full dose. It ranges from 4-6 months, so don't let that get you down, thinking there might be something really wrong with you if you're on anti depressants for so long.
Collete
Member
*Sigh*...
It’s sad to announce that the leader of the very first group I joined in Deviantart that gave me confidence to paint again, has committed suicide last night it seems.
I don’t know how to react. There’s a bunch of nasty comments residing in the journal that was announced of his death portraying him as an evil person. While I don’t know who’s necessarily right or wrong…I just know he did not deserve that fate. From what little I interacted with him, he was kind and even made me an admin leader despite me not knowing him too well. But it gave me the confidence to paint…. I do not wish the dread and despair of the feelings of wanting to commit suicide, not even on my worst enemy.
Rest in peace. While I don’t know what you did, people are already mourning you.
It’s sad to announce that the leader of the very first group I joined in Deviantart that gave me confidence to paint again, has committed suicide last night it seems.
I don’t know how to react. There’s a bunch of nasty comments residing in the journal that was announced of his death portraying him as an evil person. While I don’t know who’s necessarily right or wrong…I just know he did not deserve that fate. From what little I interacted with him, he was kind and even made me an admin leader despite me not knowing him too well. But it gave me the confidence to paint…. I do not wish the dread and despair of the feelings of wanting to commit suicide, not even on my worst enemy.
Rest in peace. While I don’t know what you did, people are already mourning you.
Prax
Member
That's really awful. Agh.. I wonder if what drove him to that point that he felt he couldn't reach out for help. (Although I know if you get too involved in "DA drama" and don't have a good emtional filter, you will not have a good time because the site is unfortunately filled with young/naive/immature/insecure people. I read some of the comments on his profile and already had to remind myself of that fact. Geez some people are not very good with words AT ALL..)
I hope you and others who's lives he touched are able to work through this and mourn for him, and also let him continue to inspire you to do good things.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Bad spot at the moment, had a virus that affected my inner ear causing dizziness when I lie down and nausea when im up and about because my equilibrium is a bit off. Went to dr's yesterday and it will go away naturally over time, to speed this process up I can do exercises which will help to realign the particles in my ear. The downside is these exercises today made me super dizzy and gave me a huge headache, ontop of this the anti-nausea pills I was taking I have been told to stop because they can cause long term damage and will halt the healing process, so im sat here with nausea I cant control and I cant lie down because ill get dizzy. He says 3-4 weeks recovery. This is as close to horrible as I can imagine .
.
Collete
Member
I would buy your art Collete!
Thanks for the encouragement.
I don't even know when I'd be able to get the money to set up getting my work sold.
I'm trying not to give up but like....everything's just been piling on me. Grad school, fall out with friends, and it's like...my world is crumbling while I'm still in my parent's house...I still didn't even get my own place. When I should be at this age...
Still I'll try to celebrate my little accomplishments, you're right.
I'm worried my friend will never come back though...He was my best friend of four years...The one person I had absolute faith would never leave even if all my friends leave me...and he does this...It's just heart breaking...
Thanks for the reply though, Prax, even though you're busy you still take time to reply to me....
I'll still try to pursue what I want...shit's been hitting the fan hard this month I guess...Depression then emergencies everywhere...Thanks again Prax. I don't know how to reply to everything, but do know I'm taking it to heart. Anyone who replies to me that is.
I know it's not easy, but like sometimes stuff like this makes me think I wasn't cut out for living...But then it's conflicting when people care about me...and it's like...What the heck.
Yeah you're right...There's just so many steps to get to my goals that I don't know if I can do them at all.
There's also the problem getting a bank account which I don't have enough to even start one and maintain it to even start selling my work or start creating things for profit.
I might take up your offer some day to talk about it.
Thanks for responding to me even though I've been illogical.
No...they were very harsh to him. And I already realized what I was dealing with, so I'm not really pulling the pin on that grenade. I try to keep my distance from anyone on DA, but that death really impacted me out of all the people I know on DA.
Yeah...I won't forget him (to be honest I thought he was a middle aged woman...He was just a 17 year old male kid...)...
I'm sorry for your loss.
Same. Thanks. I don't know if he's really dead or alive (there's been debate about it, but so far it points to the death, the group's been investigating at the moment)...But in either case, I pray he gets the help and peace he deserves.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Like I said, I know the feeling. I had a fall out with my best friend too not too long ago. Give them space and see if they come back. Sometimes they will, sometimes they won't. The biggest thing is to preoccupy yourself with something else. It's not easy and many times it will feel impossible. You can ask anyone I talk to about how shitty I've felt and how impossible it is to get it off your mind but you have to try and do it. It just eats away at you otherwise.
As far as a bank account, it's not the end of the world. You'll lose some money in fees but most people I knew who did art and stuff would just use PayPal since it's usually clumsy to exchange payment except for cash as a normal person and not a company. Also, do you have a job or anything? I don't know where you live but most banks in the US waive maintainence fees if you have your paycheck directly deposited. And that's regardless of size of the paycheck and if have a $.01 balance until the next paycheck. Just a thought.
Don't worry about living with your parents. Are you miserable there and they're a major source of your depression? If not then who gives a shit? People aren't moving out at young ages anymore. Its hard to find a job and shit is expensive. Lots of kids I know are living at home at least partially while in grad school. They live on campus if long distance otherwise they live with their parents. I work for a huge company and my coworkers who are 30+ keep telling me to stay at home as long as possible to save money. The financial crisis has killed a lot of that stigma and the people who do make a big deal are so petty and stupid that do you care what they think? "Normal" people will never hold that against you. Unless its negatively affecting your health, don't even worry about it.
Finally, stop worrying about how many steps it is. A lot of shit seems daunting when you step back, that's why you cut it up and plan. Use it as motivation that you have to accomplish this, then that, etc. The biggest thing is don't give up.
It's up to you about talking. It's no pressure either way but you seem to be going through a lot of things I have recently. I try to check the thread or pm me if you don't want to talk about something in the thread. If I don't see something in the thread, PM me that you did and I'll check. I try to check this thread but I don't always. Either way is fine, I hope you feel better. If I missed anything I'll respond later.
Tried it. First person disconnected after I told them about myself. Second person told me to leave so she could go to bed. lol, great stuff
That's horrible to hear. Sorry.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
OK, DGAF, an update regarding my friend I mentioned a little while back.
So, I decided to text my friend a couple days ago after talking to some people in the DGAF Chat. Here is what I wrote:
"Might have money this week if u want to hang. Its been awhile."
Anyways, I hadn't received a reply to that text so I took a deep breath and decided to to text him again:
"Sent u text 2 days ago. Did u get it?"
Shortly after, I got this reply:
"I did but I'm on tight money for the rest of the month and am not happy with the fact that you deleted your Facebook account / deactivated it. I'll let you know when I want to hang again. I'm giving you a courtesy reply text back that I received it."
So, I'm not sure what to make of that except, as I guessed, he would be miffed about me deactivating my Facebook, which, btw, I reactivated yesterday.
I wrote him one last message back in response:
"Was recommended by therapist i do that. I reopened my Facebook."
That was the final text by me and no replies any further by him.
So, I need some honest advice/answers on what you think of this and what I should do? Please give your most honest opinions on this.
So, I decided to text my friend a couple days ago after talking to some people in the DGAF Chat. Here is what I wrote:
"Might have money this week if u want to hang. Its been awhile."
Anyways, I hadn't received a reply to that text so I took a deep breath and decided to to text him again:
"Sent u text 2 days ago. Did u get it?"
Shortly after, I got this reply:
"I did but I'm on tight money for the rest of the month and am not happy with the fact that you deleted your Facebook account / deactivated it. I'll let you know when I want to hang again. I'm giving you a courtesy reply text back that I received it."
So, I'm not sure what to make of that except, as I guessed, he would be miffed about me deactivating my Facebook, which, btw, I reactivated yesterday.
I wrote him one last message back in response:
"Was recommended by therapist i do that. I reopened my Facebook."
That was the final text by me and no replies any further by him.
So, I need some honest advice/answers on what you think of this and what I should do? Please give your most honest opinions on this.
I don't understand why he cares about the status of your facebook account? Is there something missing to the story, like you guys use it for something specific together and he would miss that?
It seems like a really weird response from him.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked