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[jufonuk]

Double post shit sorry

 

[jufonuk]

Give him love and support. Understand that what he's going through is real and get him help while he's young. It WILL make a difference. You? You'll be doing the right thing simply by listening and being there. And don't let that shit get in the way of your relationship. It's REAL easy to not talk, or even to become dependent, but communication is key with an SO when you've got a few things nagging at you.

Thank you , I give him all the love and understanding I can, I felt like a failure as I don't want my son having this

As for the relationship, I want to be strong for my fiancé , she said being the tough one etc is killing her inside

When we met she knew I had issues and wanted to help fix me , but I come with a whole load of baggage.. An ex from hell(had issues seeing my son at times) Panic attacks anxiety self esteem issues.. Lack of confidence,now a son who has his own issues and problems. I am 36 and live at home with my mum, I've been saving like mad this year to get a deposit I want to move out as soon as I can.

I got into a trap of trying to buy my way out of my funk and squandered any chance of a deposit over four years, I also was paying to high child maintenance and convinced myself I could never afford a place.
What was actually happening was I was working and getting more and better wages and prospects, I just wish I took it more notice and saved more at those times. hindsight 20/20 and all

Since my met my fiancé I have begun therapy, cbt, gym lost weight ,saved more, sorted out finances , progressed in seeing my son and had him sleep over mine . (My ex has issues herself and is over protective of our son to extreme degrees)
I should be on the verge of getting married and getting a place and sorting more things out.. but it feels like it is being held by a thread and a few weeks ago my missus almost walked out.

I don't want to keep leaning on my fiancé it just feels lately anytime I mess up or "knee jerk" as she puts it , we get I to discussions and I feel like a fool.

She feels frustrated as all her helping feels like it has gone to waste and I am scratching my head going "it's something that wouldn't bother most people ??"

It's not that I forget to do better but my emotions and thoughts can be altered when I am low.

Her advice is control your thoughts and challenges your negative ways, easier said than done at times, wish it was that simple. sometimes I am second guessing myself so much I actually almost start to doubt every action and thought I have wtf??

My son and I stayed over her place Easter weekend, he wouldn't settle down at night wouldn't sleep In am own room and anytime my fiancé tried to calm him or get him in his room he would get wound up scream and tantrum, he did in one occasion lash out and I wasn't happy at him.. I went to tell hIm off, For two nights it went on, we are planning to go to France (gotta go through courts and ex being a cow about it) but now who knows ??

I felt a failure as a parent , then I find out from my son my ex is letting him sleep in the bed with her, he is seven for crying out loud!!

I feel constantly undermined by my ex she really babies my son, to the point he can do no wrong and even when I seen him act in the wrong she will immediately make excuses , she is afraid to bring anything up as she fears bad parenting equals me taking him off of her (hence why I had issues seeing him in the past)

So basically I got my issues to deal with , getting a relationship sorted , potentially marriage flat honeymoon (though my fiance is taking care of the budgeting etc as I basically suck at that, and she feels pressure etc) and on top of that seeing my son sorting him out , getting him to stay at the flat or holiday without any issues (during the day he is loving fine easy going the last few nights he stayed over he was a pain and nasty at times)

Some days I don't wanna get out of bed and sleep all day, but the progress I am making to me feels like I have moved mountains but I still got more to come

TLDR: issues all up in the place

 

[Pandemic]

abuse is abuse and if it's causing you this much strain and discomfort i don't see why you should put up with it.
if you try to tell him and he minimizes it than that sounds like a stellar reason to cut ties imo

edit: this might sound like a really extreme step but i grew up with a narcissistic parent
and me pulling away is one of the best things i have ever done for the both of us. you don't have to do it abruptly. just baby steps.

Definitely extreme, haha but I appreciate the advice mate.

I'll see how I go, I might just slowly not hang out with him as much, but I'm hoping others in our group will see how big of a narcissist he really is..

1. I feel like narcissistic personality types might be one of the hardest to deal with (because so obnoxious lol).

2. But if he's fun to be around when not being a complete butthole, then I think the correct answer would be to only remain SHALLOW friends with him. Hang out less, or at least less deeply. Laugh at him and take nothing personally because his mode of communication is probably shallow at best or undermining to bolster his own self worth at worst. The closer you get, the more he will eat at you with his probably sycophantic personality. If he has depression, it's better to tell them to go get a psychologist/therapist who is better equipped to deal with their manipulative behavior and are paid to tell them to tone done their self-centerdness. And repeat that idea. Don't become their therapist. >_>

3. You can try to have stock/standard lines for when he's being a jerk. "Okay, jerkface, whatever" or "I didn't ask for you opinion lol" if he's injecting undermining opinions or "lol you're so full of it [change topic]" or "don't be so dramatic lol". Basically, remain shallow, enjoy him for what he can offer, give back if he gives to you, and ignore the rest (i.e. drama). Be in control of your relationship with them and keep a distance or they will try to manipulate you.

4. That sounds kind of mean and maybe he'll pout about how the world is unfair or so shallow they don't see the real him and he gives so much blah blah blah, but you need to preserve your self-esteem too. By being more shallow with him it means you don't have to cut him out of your life and you'll be able to kind of gauge if he shifts his behavior over time and hopefully he'll mellow out with age.
Remember: It's OKAY to have shallow friendships. You are allowed to have friendships of all kinds. And this guy operates on a mode where that's necessary.

5. btw, Although I think my advice is pretty good, I don't think I have ever dealt with a narcissist because if I have, this is exactly what I would do so I never get close to the point to know they are incredibly narcisstic lol

Cheers mate for putting the time into responding, especially with a lengthy response like that, appreciate it. I put numbers so there's a response to each one.

1 They definitely are tough ones to handle, especially when it's all directed at you rather than your other mates..

2. Definitely, he's a sick bloke when he's not needing his refill of confidence/self-esteem.. I've been thinking of doing that, hanging out less with him, then hopefully other mates will see that he is a narcissistic bastard. Definitely right that the closer as a mate you get to him, the more he leeches off you because you're always there I guess. Hah, mate I've tried telling him he should seek a therapist, they do wonders, but instead he plays it off like the depression state he was in the night before, saying he hates his life, his job, he's thought about suicide.. Never happened, that he's perfectly fine and that the world would not function anymore without him being alive. But unfortunately, I'm always willing to be there, since it's best to talk about your problems rather than bottle them up, but he definitely should seek a therapist..

3. Mmm, yet again he always has to win them short lines too, or manipulate it like he's the victim. So if he says something rude to you, and you respond, he takes it personally and says something that is to far. Yet if he says something to me and I get offended, he plays it off like I'm a pussy, idiot, etc. There's no winning with him, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around how my other mates respond to his bullshit, since they don't get into as many arguments, so I can sort of adjust I guess. And you're right, and unfortunately he's already sort of manipulated me, but now it's gotten to far, and just over his crap.

4. Definitely! If something doesn't go his way, he'll lose it.. Literally - punches walls, throws furniture around and so forth, something my other mates haven't seen I don't think. But it makes sense to be a little shallow, especially with a person like this. It's necessary.

5. And boy, have you saved yourself a lot of frustration, confidence and self-esteem problems. They a handful!

 

[heidern]

We've been good mates for a while, but as of late, his need to have to show his self importance, confidence, how good he is, etc has gotten on my nerves. I can never win an argument with him, and he always has to shoot me down, especially my confidence and self-esteem.

The problem is you're falling into his trap. This guy has low self-esteem so he lashes out to try and feel good about himself. He pretends to be strong when in reality he is weak. He's constructing fake arguments and fake insults. Since they're fake there's no point getting involved in them and since they're fake you shouldn't be affected by them.

The way to deal with this is to ignore what he says on the surface and speak to his intent. Once he sees that you can see through his game he's going to stop playing it.

Realise that he's weak so when he says this stuff you can just look him in the eye and keep you're mouth firmly shut. Inside you'd be thinking "I know what you're up to" and your eye contact will communicate this. You'll see him start panicking and back down.

If you want to say something rather than just rely on body language you can say things along the lines of:
You don't need to play games
Why don't you just say what you really want to say
You don't need to say stuff like this to feel better about yourself
I'm your friend, if you want to talk about what's really bothering you I'm happy to listen
We're your friends, if you want to talk about what's really bothering you we're happy to listen/you can talk to us(if you're in a group situation)

Again with eye contact, basically just calling him out. Completely disregarding what he's said and changing the topic to what's really going on. He's basically a scared child lashing out so be friendly, cool, calm and collected.

 

[Collete]

edit: Quote to read for response...I actually don't know if he goes on GAF or not...

I think it might be part of yor romantic desposition, to be honest. XD Not that it's a bad thing, but from know what I know of you, you are easily swayed by your heart, and your heart has many ambitions that might overwhelm what your brain believes to be possible.

But like they say, grief and heartbreak are the prices we pay to love so dearly and to experience such highs. I think even if you don't believe your desires to be realistic, knowing these feelings still exist in you this strongly can help power you in accomplishing others things. (I am pretty sure this is why so many artists come off as wildly emotional or mentally eccentric--all that excess is vented into creativity). Liek if you could objectify/symbolize that hope and love, just like in the comic your avatar is based off of, you can do great things, touch people's lives. Even if you feel that for yourself, you have nothing substantial to give, you still have that part of you that shines and is hopeful regardless.

And who knows? All sorts of unpredictable good things happen in life, and that spark is what will drive you to want to live and see it all.

I think it might be part of yor romantic desposition, to be honest. XD Not that it's a bad thing, but from know what I know of you, you are easily swayed by your heart, and your heart has many ambitions that might overwhelm what your brain believes to be possible.

But like they say, grief and heartbreak are the prices we pay to love so dearly and to experience such highs. I think even if you don't believe your desires to be realistic, knowing these feelings still exist in you this strongly can help power you in accomplishing others things. (I am pretty sure this is why so many artists come off as wildly emotional or mentally eccentric--all that excess is vented into creativity). Liek if you could objectify/symbolize that hope and love, just like in the comic your avatar is based off of, you can do great things, touch people's lives. Even if you feel that for yourself, you have nothing substantial to give, you still have that part of you that shines and is hopeful regardless.

And who knows? All sorts of unpredictable good things happen in life, and that spark is what will drive you to want to live and see it all.[/QUOTE]

I know...The stupid thing is, I already got shot down some weeks back and I've been eyeing this guy even before I got rejected(there was another guy I was trying to set my eyes on but he never gave me a chance, which is fine, I kinda found out some stuff the hard way...this guy I'm in love with now is new)...
Yet I don't know him much and I barely have any time to actually talk to him other than game stuff (which isn't his fault because he's so busy during the day...). Been trying to squeeze in conversation that has nothing to do with games and stuff about our interest. It's only been a week or so I think I been at this. But this stuff is new to me, I never was the one to initiate conversations with people I like, it was usually the other way around.

You're right...at least knowing I like him lets me know I still have emotion and my feelings are still real even if they might be unrealistic. Though this new found love comes at a horrible time in my life...

So much tragedy has been happening and my depression has been flaring out insanely. My best friend left me, my cat got injured, my book is being finished by the end of this month, my exam is at the end of this month, I'm very scared at the possibility I might not be able to graduate again from college a third time, been having extreme doubts of religion, I still have to work on my art pieces each week, then trying to take care of myself because my depression has been neglecting my body as of late, then I have to push myself to talk to this guy I like....I dunno....I'm just really stressed...The only reason I've been able to to contain it is by spending the time I have with him. He reminds me why I'm still here...to hope I still have a chance. *sigh* I really am a hopeless romantic...~~

And I was actually discussing with someone else that I've been having a hard time translating my symbolism and how I feel into art. Hearts for Sale was good but the artist is like a student of an art university and...well...I'm not. I don't know I think my creativity has been lacking as of late....

This love has been trying to push me again to be better for myself just like my previous romantic encounters...I feel kinda silly that my driving force in life is the people I love. Which is dangerous, but it's also been beneficial to keep pushing myself to be the best possible person I can be under all this depression."]

 

[InsaneZero]

I wouldn't think too much about improving yourself out of love for others. People are naturally social creatures, so working on making yourself better to be able to interact better with people is really something that would also occur naturally.

Besides, self-improvement in itself is a good thing regardless of what drives it. So just roll with it and hopefully you have good luck with the person you like.

 

[Lonely1]

btw, Although I think my advice is pretty good, I don't think I have ever dealt with a narcissist because if I have, this is exactly what I would do so I never get close to the point to know they are incredibly narcisstic lol

Your advises are indeed very good. I enjoy reading them even if they are not directed to me.

 

[Collete]

Yeah I also agree with Lonely.
They are good and helpful. Even though I seem unappreciative, I do actually appreciate what you have to say, Prax.

 

[Charles Foster Kane]

What do you think of people who say to just brush off mental illness? Gets on my nerves.

 

[SniperHunter]

What do you think of people who say to just brush off mental illness? Gets on my nerves.

my dad is like that and my sister as well now that I think about it.

horrible attitude and you can't convince them. makes me angry

 

[jdforge]

Tough times for me at the moment.

I've been self destructing since high school due to some bad things that happened to me as a kid.

Short version of a long story - my continued irrational behaviour and my ability to destroy anything good in my life has caused a huge split between my partner and I.

We've been together for 5 years and I've never made it easy due to my issues.

Feels pretty bad now that I'm alone. I've also recently quit smoking which made my moods insufferable but I'm lost without my partner who has been ignoring me for days now.

Total abandonment. My biggest fears realised.

 

[Dracandros]

What do you think of people who say to just brush off mental illness? Gets on my nerves.

For the most part (and I dislike this a lot) I feel that people who brush it off, or think very little of it compared to other "important matters", are just not capable of understanding all of it and aren't capable of appreciating the differences and perspectives either.

If they want to limit their happiness and understanding that they learn in their life to keep things simple or easy, then I will generally let them be. I have to deal with people that cannot accept (all of) my differences at work all of the time, and while I don't like it I'm not the one with their problems either.

 

[heidern]

What do you think of people who say to just brush off mental illness?

What would you think of people that say 2+2 = 5?Exactly

 

[Collete]

I wouldn't think too much about improving yourself out of love for others. People are naturally social creatures, so working on making yourself better to be able to interact better with people is really something that would also occur naturally.

Besides, self-improvement in itself is a good thing regardless of what drives it. So just roll with it and hopefully you have good luck with the person you like.

Thanks, I need all the luck I can have with him.
It'll be a miracle if I can have reciprocal love with him some day...

 

[StickSoldier]

Guys, I think a fellow Gaffer is having a manic episode and I don't know how to help him, he's not responding to my concern.

If any of you can pop in to the thread and help me out, I would really appreciate it. I'm scared the OP will put himself in danger.


http://http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=805011

I've been manic before and this is almost definitely it, and mania is a dangerous mistress. He could end up in the ICU.

YOOOOO!!! Sorry for makin ya worry bro, had some stuff to do..

hows everyone feeling today?

 

[P. Fembot]

YOOOOO!!! Sorry for makin ya worry bro, had some stuff to do..

hows everyone feeling today?

I'm feeling good. How are you feeling?

Have you slept and is everything still magical and amazing? Let us know buddy.

 

[Pandemic]

The problem is you're falling into his trap. This guy has low self-esteem so he lashes out to try and feel good about himself. He pretends to be strong when in reality he is weak. He's constructing fake arguments and fake insults. Since they're fake there's no point getting involved in them and since they're fake you shouldn't be affected by them.

The way to deal with this is to ignore what he says on the surface and speak to his intent. Once he sees that you can see through his game he's going to stop playing it.

Realise that he's weak so when he says this stuff you can just look him in the eye and keep you're mouth firmly shut. Inside you'd be thinking "I know what you're up to" and your eye contact will communicate this. You'll see him start panicking and back down.

If you want to say something rather than just rely on body language you can say things along the lines of:
You don't need to play games
Why don't you just say what you really want to say
You don't need to say stuff like this to feel better about yourself
I'm your friend, if you want to talk about what's really bothering you I'm happy to listen
We're your friends, if you want to talk about what's really bothering you we're happy to listen/you can talk to us(if you're in a group situation)

Again with eye contact, basically just calling him out. Completely disregarding what he's said and changing the topic to what's really going on. He's basically a scared child lashing out so be friendly, cool, calm and collected.

Cheers for the response mate, appreciate it!

Very interesting advice in how I should approach him, but seems logical.

So true, he always lashes out at someone. If it isn't me, it's someone else at the group, yet how he plays infront of new people or mates, is like he's completely fine, the most confident, happy, high self-esteem bloke, but as you said, deep down he isn't and I think I'm the only one that see's that. And yeah, I've slowly gotten to a point, where whatever he says, is just bullshit and it's mainly said just to make himself seem more perfect. I used to get affected by it, because he's a best mate, and if a best mate criticises you then it may mean something, but since reading NPD, it's clear that it's just to make himself feel bigger.

I'll definitely begin to ignore whatever he says, for example, he randomly messages me saying ''you're a bitch'', ''you're a homo'', ''you're a fuck'' and so forth. What he says doesn't bother me, it's just the consistency of it. Give up, fucking hell hahaha.

I'm probably happier to just keep my mouth shut. Sure, I'm urged to say something back to him, but when you do, he takes extreme offence to it, even if it's the exact same thing he said to you, and then has to say something to 'up' you, and often goes to far..

I might use the friend one though, but he'll pull some bullshit story out, no doubt to turn it on me.

He's travelling with a few mates, and people say when you travel with someone overseas, then you see how they really behave, so hopefully my other mates will see his behaviour and what I've been putting up with.

Again, I really appreciate the response and advice mate!

 

[Mr Cola]

Going through a rough patch, coming off two drugs and going on another, the drugs im coming off are also the addictive kind, mix this in with my current illness and times are hard at the moment. Just got to last a few more days and things should even out a bit, that being said this is all rather horrible.

 

[Collete]

...I think I might have to slowly to start to accept that my best friend is never coming back, even though I wish he would return...I feel like I'm losing all hope, like with everything in my life...

...All I can do is try to be confident even though I don't feel I am and keep moving onwards with the rest of my life. Keep on believing I might be worth something more to this new guy, that I'll be successful and support myself, that...I'll be truly happy some day.

Keep walking...

 

[Cronen]

Today started off well but I of course hit a slump and now I feel awful. I'm home alone just wishing I had someone to talk to. It's not even 9pm and the only thing I can think of doing is crawling in to bed and wishing for the day to end.

 

[Ashes]

1. trying to master things I'm good at.
2. trying to be good at things I'm not.
3. trying new things that might be fun.

 

[Miguel81]

My psychiatrist had prescribed me Abilify for my persistent negative thoughts and it has been working wonderfully for that aspect. Downside is that I wake up in the middle of night with fewer than 4 hours of sleep. He has added Cogentin for this and restlessness, but it hasn't been working to well for me. I was always the type to sleep a full 7 to 8 hours straight and this has been annoying me. I'm happy for the boost in energy but I don't know if I should continue taking this medication.

Anyone have experience with abilify?

I should add that I had lost a lot of weight do to IBS(168 -> 148), but it seems that my stomach hasn't been bothering me much and I'm slowly gaining my weight back. My face was way too gaunt and now it's looking much better and my complexion is better as well.

 

[jb1234]

Still devastated over what my ex-best friend said (thanks for the sweet post, Prax) and just trying to push through things but I'm in the middle of a fibro flare and hence, extra cranky.

I also got a lecture from another friend I haven't talked to in a while about how I should be seeking mental help because my condition is completely in my head. That felt splendid. It's hard to be too pissed at him because he spent a lot of time writing the text and I can tell he genuinely cares but ignorance is not an excuse.

About the only thing that can be claimed is that for the most part, I've managed to keep all of this angst away from the rest of my friends. If I'm feeling moody, I just go away or take a nap. It would be far too easy for me to cling on to the ones I have remaining out of fear but I trust the people who are still in my life.

 

[Jaxter09]

Livejournal venting time-
Don't really know what to do- Dropped out of Uni (for the second time) because I went completely numb, couldn't hear any words being said and I was just sleeping all day, studying was out of the question. I got in the top 5% of my division last year so I can do the work but I don't care for it (Marketing) and I can't stand the set up of it all.

Basically I find it impossible to be around people; I made a few friends in the first semester last year, but I can only make nervous small talk which comes from an uncomfortable and overly-self conscious place. One day I sat down next to these people and couldn't bring myself to say hello, I had to go outside and I almost vomited for a solid 15 minutes, just from anxiety. My relationship with existing friends has deteriorated too, I never know what to do or say and I just kind of shut down around them. It's gotten to the point where I barely leave the house, don't contact friends and refuse basically every time they ask to do something. We had a large family gathering the other week and I literally could not even speak. My confidence is zero, never been remotely intimate with anyone and I wouldn't be caught dead unclothed.

I went to a GP a couple of weeks ago to get a mental health plan
choice quotes
"so what will it be? a four or a five that you feel life is not worth living?"
"hang in there, buddy!"

I went to a psychologist last week and it was a huge disappointment- I find it hard to articulate the severity of my anxiety and depression- I explained to her that there are no particular triggers and that I just live in a state of constant detachment and negative thoughts- and that getting catatonically stoned everyday is how I cope with it. When asked what I wanted out of therapy I said I want to be able to feel happy and be able to be around people. We ended up talking about what subjects I did in high school and concluded that I don't like Uni. Near the end she was constantly reiterating how making another appointment is completely optional and totally not mandatory- so I didn't.

Now I spend most of my time lurking GAF, refreshing every minute and stuck in a loop I've been in for years. There are no lows, no highs, no anger, no excitement, no passion- just distractions and frustration. I know there is a world out there somewhere.

 

[Br0dette]

Um, hi.

Feels strange finally posting here, I'm suddenly not sure what to say. Basically, I'm severely dyspraxic, and I have an anxiety/panic disorder. I also may or may not have an eating disorder depending on who you ask.

I dropped out of university about a month ago because of the anxiety. I'm living with my parents now and am meant to be focusing on recovery, but being back home is making everything worse. I feel judged, looked down on, misunderstood, over-crowded, and trapped, but I can't afford to move out and have no way of getting the money as I've been told I'm far too ill to work.

I feel like I want to kill myself right now, but I don't want to die. I'm so confused..

 

[MikeDip]

I dropped out of university about a month ago because of the anxiety.

I feel you. I dropped out of university more than once. It doesn't mean you can never go back. Just focus on getting better first, that's what is important.

Also, Hi!

 

[Feltrol]

...I think I might have to slowly to start to accept that my best friend is never coming back, even though I wish he would return...I feel like I'm losing all hope, like with everything in my life...

...All I can do is try to be confident even though I don't feel I am and keep moving onwards with the rest of my life. Keep on believing I might be worth something more to this new guy, that I'll be successful and support myself, that...I'll be truly happy some day.

Keep walking...

Hello again!

Things may be hell, but If you really want to improve, even a little bit, give it your all, and you will achieve something. You are trying to change, and that's what matters. Change because you want, not because someone says so -- it's your life.

We're not perfect. Don't expect things to change one day to another.

You can do it, Collete!

 

[Dracandros]

...I think I might have to slowly to start to accept that my best friend is never coming back, even though I wish he would return...I feel like I'm losing all hope, like with everything in my life...

...All I can do is try to be confident even though I don't feel I am and keep moving onwards with the rest of my life. Keep on believing I might be worth something more to this new guy, that I'll be successful and support myself, that...I'll be truly happy some day.

Keep walking...

Feltrol is absolutely right in that you can do this! The only person who is truly responsible for our own happiness is ourselves, and I know this first-hand because I did an awful job of understanding that for the 30-ish years I've been alive (just call me in the 30 range for now).

I can't rely on my family to provide me happiness even though having good moments with them makes me extremely happy, and no matter how much I'm heart over head when I fall in love, that other person can only do so much too.

While I won't turn this into a story, one of the things I fight so hard to protect now is my love of self-improving. Each improvement, just like each goal you set, is a journey in and of itself. There may be "light bulb" moments along the way, but the rest is what you make of it and find out.

To be honest Collete, I'm also a little jealous of how artistic you are - I certainly couldn't dream of doing the things you can do. You are also following your heart which I didn't understand like I should have when I was about your age.

I KNOW there will be better days than this for you - I'm sure everybody here knows that too. I will be around (although I think other people with good/great advice will beat me to it) so feel free to say or ask what you like if you think it will help!

 

[Collete]

Gyaaaaaa, I keep forgetting to put my art up here on Wednesdays =_=
I did it on my tumblr and deviantart, but it slipped my mind with FB and GAF. Gah...Sorry guys, but tumblr is like my most up to date medium for like following my art as of now. Sorry for that, I'll do a better effort to update all on time.

Anyways...:

Phoenix from Dota 2

Time: 4 hours-ish

Phoenix: Time to regen heal-….What…what’s Storm Spirit up to this time….*sigh*

…Well that’s what I imagined why Phoenix looked up and dropped his tango!

Hello again!

Things may be hell, but If you really want to improve, even a little bit, give it your all, and you will achieve something. You are trying to change, and that's what matters. Change because you want, not because someone says so -- it's your life.

We're not perfect. Don't expect things to change one day to another.

You can do it, Collete!

Hi again

Yeah, I'm trying to change for myself because I know I can be a better person than what I am now.

Yeaaa...I have a bad habit of being impatient with myself expecting to change one day to another.

Feltrol is absolutely right in that you can do this! The only person who is truly responsible for our own happiness is ourselves, and I know this first-hand because I did an awful job of understanding that for the 30-ish years I've been alive (just call me in the 30 range for now).

I can't rely on my family to provide me happiness even though having good moments with them makes me extremely happy, and no matter how much I'm heart over head when I fall in love, that other person can only do so much too.

While I won't turn this into a story, one of the things I fight so hard to protect now is my love of self-improving. Each improvement, just like each goal you set, is a journey in and of itself. There may be "light bulb" moments along the way, but the rest is what you make of it and find out.

To be honest Collete, I'm also a little jealous of how artistic you are - I certainly couldn't dream of doing the things you can do. You are also following your heart which I didn't understand like I should have when I was about your age.

I KNOW there will be better days than this for you - I'm sure everybody here knows that too. I will be around (although I think other people with good/great advice will beat me to it) so feel free to say or ask what you like if you think it will help!

Ah...don't be jealous of my art. I'm just a scrub to art only started a year ago at this. I'm not that great compared to a lot of artists I know on tumblr and what not. Anyone can be artistic I think if you put enough work to it. I think I'm living proof of that.
I've always tried to follow my heart even though it seems foolish at times, because I feel it is one of the ways to achieve happiness is to follow where my heart wants to go, even if it is unrealistic at times, I want to achieve something that my heart wants. (and hopefully it will appease my brain in the process)

I hope there will be better days ahead. It's been hard to grasp that as of late. Nah you can stick around, your story and what you have to say do help me.

 

[Ashes]

Um, hi.

Feels strange finally posting here, I'm suddenly not sure what to say. Basically, I'm severely dyspraxic, and I have an anxiety/panic disorder. I also may or may not have an eating disorder depending on who you ask.

I dropped out of university about a month ago because of the anxiety. I'm living with my parents now and am meant to be focusing on recovery, but being back home is making everything worse. I feel judged, looked down on, misunderstood, over-crowded, and trapped, but I can't afford to move out and have no way of getting the money as I've been told I'm far too ill to work.

I feel like I want to kill myself right now, but I don't want to die. I'm so confused..

Patience.

The point of recovery, is well, recovery. Try and organise your thoughts, so they are deliberate, with you in control, and focused on mid term and long term goals.

Every now and then, try take a moment out of your busy thought processes and meditate, by breathing and exhaling deliberately, with you in control, and focused on specific parts of your body - starting with the tips of your toes, and working slowly up to the tip of your fingers.

This is a drill that not only relaxes you, but teaches you over time to take control of your thought processing.

 

[Bagels]

Oops. I forgot to post art on Wednesday too, Collete!

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

...I think I might have to slowly to start to accept that my best friend is never coming back, even though I wish he would return...I feel like I'm losing all hope, like with everything in my life...

...All I can do is try to be confident even though I don't feel I am and keep moving onwards with the rest of my life. Keep on believing I might be worth something more to this new guy, that I'll be successful and support myself, that...I'll be truly happy some day.

Keep walking...

Be careful about doing this... It can really take a toll on you if you're rejected or things don't work out. That can be a side benefit but use that as a main driving point. To be happy and attract people around you, you have to be happy with yourself first and foremost. I know its hard and you obviously care about this guy but you have a much better shot if you're in a better place and can feel good on your own. You'll be happy eventually, just keep focusing on the things that do make you happy.

 

[Pakkidis]

It's been awhile. I feel I need to post here. Had a phone interview today at 1pm. When I found out this morning what do you think happened to me. Panic/anxiety attack

I did alright, not as bad as I would say but not exactly great either. Whats worse is that my cousin is the one who got me the interview so it makes me look worse.

I don't know why this happened to me. Kinda hard to get a job when you lack any resemblance of self confidence.

 

[Yasae]

Eh, I prefer this for Letting It Go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h054s4-SvDY

 

[Collete]

Be careful about doing this... It can really take a toll on you if you're rejected or things don't work out. That can be a side benefit but use that as a main driving point. To be happy and attract people around you, you have to be happy with yourself first and foremost. I know its hard and you obviously care about this guy but you have a much better shot if you're in a better place and can feel good on your own. You'll be happy eventually, just keep focusing on the things that do make you happy.

I know...I'm trying to...It's just been difficult. The only thing that's been helping is focusing on my hobbies lately.
I just feel sometimes I'm destined for doom with this depression and I'll never get him to like me, because my depression automatically makes me feel like shit...

 

[Bagels]

Eh, I prefer this for Letting It Go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h054s4-SvDY

Umm, thank you? :|

 

[Yasae]

My psychiatrist had prescribed me Abilify for my persistent negative thoughts and it has been working wonderfully for that aspect. Downside is that I wake up in the middle of night with fewer than 4 hours of sleep. He has added Cogentin for this and restlessness, but it hasn't been working to well for me. I was always the type to sleep a full 7 to 8 hours straight and this has been annoying me. I'm happy for the boost in energy but I don't know if I should continue taking this medication.

Anyone have experience with abilify?

I should add that I had lost a lot of weight do to IBS(168 -> 148), but it seems that my stomach hasn't been bothering me much and I'm slowly gaining my weight back. My face was way too gaunt and now it's looking much better and my complexion is better as well.

Same reaction minus the weight loss. The restlessness I got on Abilify (and before that, Latuda) was ridiculous. Actually after those two I told my doctor I really didn't want to tack on any more medications at the moment.

 

[Yasae]

Umm, thank you? :|

Sorry, just reminded me of Frozen yet again.

 

[Feltrol]

I know...I'm trying to...It's just been difficult. The only thing that's been helping is focusing on my hobbies lately.
I just feel sometimes I'm destined for doom with this depression and I'll never get him to like me, because my depression automatically makes me feel like shit...

I think I might haven't been around at the time you said (if you did) what caused your depression. Are you doing things you don't like at all? Does it just comes over you?

There must be a source of it.

 

[Collete]

I think I might haven't been around at the time you said (if you did) what caused your depression. Are you doing things you don't like at all? Does it just comes over you?

There must be a source of it.

No, I was just born with this depression. The only cause I can think of is fearing of getting rejected really but that's always there. Not much I can do about that.

Well I've been studying for exams, getting a bit stressed about studying for GRE, but other than that, I've been doing things I like though.

 

[Sibylus]

Love your Phoenix piece, Collete!

Spoiler

Love the hero too, even though he's OP as shit >->

 

[Lionheart1827]

Phoenix from Dota 2

Time: 4 hours-ish

Phoenix: Time to regen heal-….What…what’s Storm Spirit up to this time….*sigh*

…Well that’s what I imagined why Phoenix looked up and dropped his tango!

Damn Collete great work.

I want it! (one day )

 

[Colin.]

I went to a psychologist last week and it was a huge disappointment- I find it hard to articulate the severity of my anxiety and depression- I explained to her that there are no particular triggers and that I just live in a state of constant detachment and negative thoughts- and that getting catatonically stoned everyday is how I cope with it. When asked what I wanted out of therapy I said I want to be able to feel happy and be able to be around people. We ended up talking about what subjects I did in high school and concluded that I don't like Uni. Near the end she was constantly reiterating how making another appointment is completely optional and totally not mandatory- so I didn't.

Now I spend most of my time lurking GAF, refreshing every minute and stuck in a loop I've been in for years. There are no lows, no highs, no anger, no excitement, no passion- just distractions and frustration. I know there is a world out there somewhere.

Sounds like you got lined up with a shitty psychologist. Getting to the depth of your problems is no easy task for anyone, and it can take quite sometime to open up to give thorough information. One of my own therapists even stated that she would consider 3-6 months as being short-term. If you get lined up with the right person, it can be quite beneficial to your progress. So I'd recommend being referred to someone else, don't know what part of the world you're from, so can't give any specific advice about that.

A bit worried about my own therapy options too, as a therapist I've really enjoyed seeing is leaving, and I have no clue as to how suitable the replacement will be. And I'm also unhappy with my current CBT, and being referred to someone else will probably incur another lengthy wait. Lots of uncertainty.

 

[EdmondD]

Collete and Bagels I always enjoy seeing your art. Thank you guys for sharing.

 

[Curtisaur]

The new doctor I saw didn't really listen to anything I said, disregarded my previous diagnoses, and prescribed me medicine that I told her I was on before and that worsened suicidal thoughts/ideation for me. But she gave me something for anxiety so I might just deal with her bullshit for that reason alone until I can find someone better. But in this price range (essentially free) I doubt that will be possible. I kind of don't even want to try to get help any more. I feel like I've exhausted my options and just... fuck it.

But at least I got something for anxiety. :/

 

[jb1234]

I'm in very bad shape, just a mess. I'm switching back and forth between writing the word "Death" in calligraphy (very badly, judging by the four aborted attempts thus far) and writing this love theme for two friends which is starting to sound more and more like a dirge the further I get into it. And that just pisses me off because I ask myself if I'm capable of doing anything "happy" on an artistic level any longer.

When I'm in this dark place, I find myself stuck in a real quandary. Do I hide out, try to keep it from infecting the people who care about me? Or do I try and stick it out, let them try to do something, knowing that it's just risking lowering them down to my level? And everyone is crashing and/or stressed at the same time so there isn't a lot of good vibes to go around at the moment.

I guess I'll go back to the piano. Maybe if I stick a B-flat major chord in here somewhere, it'll sound happier. I do know what a B-flat major chord is, right?

(What's your tumblr, Collete? I'll add you.)

 

[Ashes]

I ask myself if I'm capable of doing anything "happy" on an artistic level any longer.

You can. & you will.

 

[MisterLuffy]

I have an essay due tomorrow, and I didn't get reach to my 4th full page. I had all day today to try and finish it because my class was canceled today. Instead I procrastinate. I hate when I take breaks because it leads to procrastination. Even though I ran out ideas to write, I should've just kept going and try to think of something other ideas to add into my essay. I got a B- on my first essay. If I get a grade lower than my second essay, then I will blame myself because I have the central idea, topic sentences, introduction, and conclusion. The problems I'm having are that I need to write more since I need to turn in full 4 pages essay and I procrastinate a lot.

 

[Icelandic_Jazz]

Kind of a weird thing to say, but anyone else feel like bullying has had a revival of sorts lately? Not that it's ever gone away, but it seems to be spilling back into adult life.

You know, calling out bronies, fedoras, beta males, "nice" guys, which is to be expected on the internet, but now it's referenced in real life situations and through friends. It just seems to be getting more and more socially acceptable to hate on the socially awkward... like people have forgotten that bullying is a really shitty thing to do.

I'm not even the target of the bullying right now and it's bothering me. I used to get bullied a bunch back in high school for being socially awkward and I've since turned a new leaf.

It might be just a matter of I've matured out of social awkwardness and hang out with people that didn't go through that growing up. It definitely bothers me though when I hear friends or coworkers hating on the socially awkward. It makes me angry at them for hating on my former self. It makes me self-conscious too, and then I feel outcasted and socially awkward again, even if it's not directed at me. That old me is still me, even if I've changed quite a bit.

I read an article recently on people who used to be bullied or ignored due to their unattractiveness, and once they grow to be much more attractive they have difficulties coping with how differently they are treated in society. I feel like I'm kind of in that boat right now. I feel like I'm walking the line between two very different worlds.

 

[Pau]

Kind of a weird thing to say, but anyone else feel like bullying has had a revival of sorts lately? Not that it's ever gone away, but it seems to be spilling back into adult life.

You know, calling out bronies, fedoras, beta males, "nice" guys, which is to be expected on the internet, but now it's referenced in real life situations and through friends. It just seems to be getting more and more socially acceptable to hate on the socially awkward... like people have forgotten that bullying is a really shitty thing to do.

I'm not even the target of the bullying right now and it's bothering me. I used to get bullied a bunch back in high school for being socially awkward and I've since turned a new leaf.

It might be just a matter of I've matured out of social awkwardness and hang out with people that didn't go through that growing up. It definitely bothers me though when I hear friends or coworkers hating on the socially awkward. It makes me angry at them for hating on my former self. It makes me self-conscious too, and then I feel outcasted and socially awkward again, even if it's not directed at me. That old me is still me, even if I've changed quite a bit.

I read an article recently on people who used to be bullied or ignored due to their unattractiveness, and once they grow to be much more attractive they have difficulties coping with how differently they are treated in society. I feel like I'm kind of in that boat right now. I feel like I'm walking the line between two very different worlds.

I think there's a difference between hating on the socially awkward and calling out the very shitty views that "nice" guys have about women (and their own gender). The brony and beta male (whatever that is) stuff is dumb though.

Nice to see everyone posting art stuff! I should join in. Y'all an inspiration.