Cigar smoke. The sound of rain pattering on the window behind me. Ay, it was a night like any other. I lean back in my leather throne, prop my tired legs on my desk, and turn on the radio. Just static tonight, damn this weather. I open the bottom drawer on my desk to grab a bottle of whiskey when she walks in.
You may think you know this girl, but you never seen nothin' like her. Long black hair. Tall as I am. Eyes that could kill. A bosom you could lose yourself in. She got a look'n her face like she owns me and the god damned horse I rode in on. What on earth a girl like this'd want with me, I got no idea.
So she reaches in this long black jacket she got on, and drops this folder right on my desk. It's for a job, she tells me. Imma bit scared what kind of work this girl came here for, but hell if I ain't interested, so I open it up. And then I know. Oh, I know exactly what this lady's looking to buy, but I ain't interested in sellin'. Some things in life more important than money.
"Sorry, miss," I tell her, "Can't help ya." She leans over the desk, all sultry like, puttin' that giant bosom right in my face. Dirty trick, that is, but I know better. She whispers in my ear, tellin' me she knows I have the info she's looking for. Tells me she'll make it worth my while. She unbuttons that black jacket slowly, and I cannot tell a lie, what she's hidin' under there is mighty temptin'. More than I know what to do with. But I ain't that kind of man. I'd never betray the love of my life for some harlot off the street.
"Ma'am, while I appreciate the offer," I says to her, "what you're askin' for's worth way more to me than all them 3DS games you got there." She buttons back up, a furious look in'r eyes. One day, she tells me, Imma regret this. The people she works for are very powerful people, and my kind ain't gonna last much longer. She storms out my office, never to return. I reach into my drawer and grab that bottle o' whiskey, and my pure white Vita. God, she's a sight for sore eyes. When I turn on that gorgeous OLED display, my love is waiting for me, always there.
"Don't you worry your little head about that girl, baby," I tells her. "You know you're mai only waifu."
"TRIAL OF THE DRAGON," she cries from behind her plastic screen protector. She looks into my eyes, and mine look right back into hers. Ain't no lady of the night ever gonna separate me and my Chie.