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I'm sick of my skin color

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Opiate said:
as already mentioned, the OP is criticizing women for falling victim to the exact same standards of beauty that he openly admits he is a victim of, as well.
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Yeah, but I don't know that OP is so much criticizing women as he is lamenting the way things are.
 
I've seen those OKC studies, and two things that I don't remember them controlling for, is education and income. Black men are less educated and make less money than their peers, so women may be responding less based on those factors, rather than simply race itself.
 
I do find it kind of eerie that in dating sites in 2014, people will openly state things like "no blacks" or "whites only" on their profiles. First time I saw that for real I almost couldn't believe it.
 
JCX said:
I do find it kind of eerie that in dating sites in 2014, people will openly state things like "no blacks" or "whites only" on their profiles. First time I saw that for real I almost couldn't believe it.
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I saw someone darker than dark have a requirement for "lighter than Obama guys only".
 
JCX said:
I do find it kind of eerie that in dating sites in 2014, people will openly state things like "no blacks" or "whites only" on their profiles. First time I saw that for real I almost couldn't believe it.
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Escorts on backpages do it it too. Proves even beggars can be choosers.
 
Xplatformer said:
...being the number one reason women won't date me.

Yeah...this is a bitch fest.

I'm a black male, 40...175lbs. Fit, average looking...who has grown up in the USA watching the likes of Phoebe Cates, Alisa Milano, Joannie...Bo Derek... (sorry for mis-spelling the names)

I've been conditioned to be attracted to women outside my race. Yet, the women outside my race see me first as a color, and not as a man. Sure, there are exceptions...but I'd say that about every 1 out of 10 non black women you see on the street would seriously consider going on a date with a black man.

And I don't think it's wrong for it to rub me the wrong way. (mind you...I don't blame or fault women for having preferences. This is just a bitch fest.
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I'm black, married to a white girl, only had white girlfriends before marriage.
Quite a few!
Actually, here in some European countries, I feel that being black gave me an advantage over white men. I even knew a white man wishing he was black, so he could get more girls... lol
 
I haven't met very many people who reject me purely based on my skin color. I've had the occasional parents being cautious of me hanging out with their kids, but that usually fades once they get to know me a little better and realize that my skin color doesn't mean that I'll somehow corrupt their family.
 
Xplatformer said:
Oh...I do.

Ex wife is german american indian, my daughters mom is Mexican American.

Living in Los Angeles though, quite often I frequent mostly hispanic (sorry if that's the wrong term) asian or white circles. And while I'm attracted to any type of woman, the majority of women in my age group who are what I find appealing (shape) are generally white.

Sorry....saying I should look within my race is also a cop out. Duh. I'm not against dating black women. I've been attracted to quite a few. It's just either it's not convenient (distance) or they aren't single.

All my friends are either asian or white btw. It started in high school. I've asked 4 of my white female friends if me being black would be a huge barrier to dating me and they ALL said yes. And they all say I'm an amazing guy. There would be just too much baggage they would have to deal with socially for it to be worth the effort.
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You're a 40 year old divorcée with a baby momma living in one of the shallowest cities in the world.

Ignoring your preferences, your friends sound like assholes. My city has a (probably unfair) reputation for being racist and my female friends are far more liberal in their tastes. Or at the very least, they would never say something like that to my face.
 
Xplatformer said:
Oh...I do.

Ex wife is german american indian, my daughters mom is Mexican American.

Living in Los Angeles though, quite often I frequent mostly hispanic (sorry if that's the wrong term) asian or white circles. And while I'm attracted to any type of woman, the majority of women in my age group who are what I find appealing (shape) are generally white.

Sorry....saying I should look within my race is also a cop out. Duh. I'm not against dating black women. I've been attracted to quite a few. It's just either it's not convenient (distance) or they aren't single.

All my friends are either asian or white btw. It started in high school. I've asked 4 of my white female friends if me being black would be a huge barrier to dating me and they ALL said yes. And they all say I'm an amazing guy. There would be just too much baggage they would have to deal with socially for it to be worth the effort.




Ok..you seem to think I'm pulling this out my ass.

I've asked FRIENDS who know me if the skin color would be a barrier of entry and they've all said it would. So, while you may not think it's an issue, yeah...it is.
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Re: the bolded, come on man.
 
Xplatformer said:
This.
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Know what? Maybe you shouldn't have made your thread title like that. Every time I look at it, the automatic response is "this guy hates being black." Now that I've taken the OP into account (actually taken it into account), I can see what you're saying to a degree.
 
CharlieDigital said:
OP, are we going to get a pic?
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After work.

They block photobucket.

Old...and small, but me and my baby girl 6 years ago.

040M.jpg
 
I couldn't write off entire races of women like that. I have friends that are like that too. It could be media conditioning eurocentric beauty and possibly bad experiences growing up, but that is harsh imo.

Overall OP I would say try to show a little more confidence in your skin (metaphorically speaking). Most likely everyone else said everything else
 
Xplatformer said:
I've asked 4 of my white female friends if me being black would be a huge barrier to dating me and they ALL said yes. And they all say I'm an amazing guy. There would be just too much baggage they would have to deal with socially for it to be worth the effort.
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You have shitty friends with racist attitudes. Baggage? Gross.

I really don't get those who write off potential partners on the basis of skin colour. Yes Euro-centric ideas of beauty are all pervasive in western media but you're old and smart enough to see through that.
 
Xplatformer said:
Ok..you seem to think I'm pulling this out my ass.

I've asked FRIENDS who know me if the skin color would be a barrier of entry and they've all said it would. So, while you may not think it's an issue, yeah...it is.
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I wasn't necessarily under the impression any of it was fabricated, I was just looking it it from a different (optimist) POV. You may've asked those 4 girls and that was their response, but you can't necessarily extrapolate that for the women you're encountering today. That may be a factor for them, it may not. You wouldn't know unless you asked but it's understandable why you wouldn't ask that kind of question to strangers on the dating scene :S

You also mentioned their reasoning for why it'd be a barrier....ever considered that your perceptions on this kind of issue may feed into that reasoning more than help distill them?

Opiate said:
I agree, too many uncontrolled variables in this specific anecdote to reach confident conclusions. Additionally, as already mentioned, the OP is criticizing women for falling victim to the exact same standards of beauty that he openly admits he is a victim of, as well.
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Yep; I mean there's a lot of interesting opinions already revolving around the scenario OP describes, but at the end of the day (at least for the ones that pose solutions) those solutions may not be applicable here.
 
Casimir said:
Do you mean a Muslim who is black or a follower of the Nation of Islam?
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I'm sure he means the former.

For all the talk about no racism in Islam, folks will act a damn fool if a black brother came calling for their daughter. Especially asians.
 
Although I prefer to date white girls, I've given girls from all races the time of day. Why limit myself?

People that limit their dating to a specific race are doing themselves a disservice. I know brown and black people that only date white girls and say diaparaging things about their own race's women, I think there's a bit of self loathing with these types of people. It's kinda sad.

As for the op, I can understand the frustrations but you sound like a bit of a douche like the the people I've mentioned above. Stop putting a race on a pedestal, just focus on meeting and getting to know people. You'll attract good people (and women) doing that.
 
I would say there are some women who see race and exclude but some of it is your game. Some of it is luck and status and some of it just finding out what a girl wants and supplying it.

You are ham stringing yourself eliminating a certain race.


S
And if they are ratchet enough, just lie and say you have a big penis. As a famous gaffer said, cocky and funny. It'll just be your own joke./s
 
Xplatformer said:
...being the number one reason women won't date me.

Yeah...this is a bitch fest.

I'm a black male, 40...175lbs. Fit, average looking...who has grown up in the USA watching the likes of Phoebe Cates, Alisa Milano, Joannie...Bo Derek... (sorry for mis-spelling the names)

I've been conditioned to be attracted to women outside my race. Yet, the women outside my race see me first as a color, and not as a man. Sure, there are exceptions...but I'd say that about every 1 out of 10 non black women you see on the street would seriously consider going on a date with a black man.

And I don't think it's wrong for it to rub me the wrong way. (mind you...I don't blame or fault women for having preferences. This is just a bitch fest.
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So you're basically complaining you don't want to date within your race because a bunch of racists don't want to date you because of your race?
 
Mesousa said:
I'm sure he means the former.

For all the talk about no racism in Islam, folks will act a damn fool if a black brother came calling for their daughter. Especially asians.
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lol @ that caste system y'all

@ DrFunk - he does at the moment but what you gotta understand is this...centuries of public castration in front of black women(especially), mental and physical suppression, mental and physical torture, beatings and killings, all done in public demonstrations, will seriously fuck up your dna code. so it's understandable, even if unfortunately so.
 
masud said:
In my experience this is not true. The vast majority of black women I know would not date a white guy.
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I wish there was some kind of almanac where we kept this sort of information. Tangentially, yesterday I mentioned to a fwb "...there's no way she was faking, she seemed totally into it."

> "My roommate does that. She'll pity-make out with guys and then kick them out."

I learn something new every day
 
royalan said:
Well, I might just be putting words in OP's mouth, but I don't think he was trying to be hypocritical here. I think he was more lamenting the fact that black men are socially conditioned to not be attracted to black women. Whereas other people can consider their attraction to certain skin-types/hair/etc as a matter of personal preference, society as a general rule tends to look down on features common amongst black people (darker skin, wide noses, kinky hair, etc) as unattractive. It's a widespread thing -- a LOT of black men aren't attracted to black women, and the sad thing is it runs so deep that most view it as normal, and wouldn't see the hypocrisy in the fact that they're doing to black women exactly what women of other races occasionally do to them.
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I have three brothers, and two are dating white women. One of them is firmly in coon territory and constantly makes ignorant comments about black women. And yet he went out and found the most homely, ugly blond he could find. I hate to sound like an asshole calling someone's gf ugly, but when you constantly want to talk about one race being ugly while dating an ugly white chick because she's white, I'm going to throw shade.
U9FzWwD.png


I love all women. Everyone knows I like Brazilian women with long hair, but I don't discriminate. My sort-of-gf is black. There's nothing wrong with having preferences but when you start dismissing other races we have a problem.
 
Also, who are these single 40 yo women who are more worried about what their parents think than getting it in? I find that older women have higher standards for profession and status, but much less restrictive criteria for looks, race, and fitness.
 
JCX said:
I do find it kind of eerie that in dating sites in 2014, people will openly state things like "no blacks" or "whites only" on their profiles. First time I saw that for real I almost couldn't believe it.
Click to expand...

Believe it.

I messaged a girl a month or so ago, and the response back I got was "Sorry, you're not white. Good Luck".

Nothing in her profile indicated that:

1)She was looking for a "white" guy.

2)I dont know what the fuck it means when you want a white guy. You want a pasty looking guy? Go to NYCC or the D&D Meetups.

Now, I am of mixed blood, in that mix containing Spanish blood and Puerto Rican blood. So I am descended from an European but in the summer, yes my skin can get dark because of sun exposure.In the winter, I can be one pasty looking dude but still light, light brown.

To the passerby, I'm not white... and other people are telling me that I am because I have European blood...

This shit is confusing, aggravating, and I really hate dating where casual racism is a thing.
 
Air said:
Than try dating in your race? Dating is a numbers game, and you're playing with an amputated foot if you're not dating within your race. Yeah your social conditioning isn't really an excuse either.
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OP wants a slice of the white bread? I've heard about black males who go after white women as a way of getting back at the white man for 300 years of slavery. Is this true?
 
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