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[shira]

Bring on the Yanks!!!!!!!!!!! Need more good games!!!

 

[SuperSonic1305]

Why would a left footed player take that kick?

 

[barit]

Swiss Argentinia :---D

 

[GalacticToast]

They had plenty of chances. That sucks. :/

 

[cafemomo]

VAAAMMOOOOOSSSS ARGENTINNNAAAAA
SUIZA
BLOWN
THE
FUCK
OUT

 

[FootballFan]

That moment must just suck for Dzemaili.

Damn. The game sucked but the ending was fantastic.

 

[Courage]

This World Cup is compensating its group stage upsets with the knockout matches.

 

[Lach]

Damn....we were so close....

Well done guys...

Well done Argentina...we just didn't have any juice left in the end...

 

[Wind's Howling]

Holy cow you Argentina are terrible. Most terrible team to advance so far.

 

[hal9001]

Nvm

 

[Jill Sandwich]

If only the whole match was like those last 10 minutes!

 

[Foshy]

Crap, Swiss deserved more than this

Not really, no. You can't park the bus for 118 minutes and expect to win

 

[Baleoce]

Even though it was a shocking miss, I feel sorry for that Swiss player. He's gonna be seeing that shit in his sleep.

 

[Ephemeris]

hahahahahahahahaha

i'm out bitches, back to work

 

[Into]

These bus parking teams should just go home, its because of them that the last few games have not been up to par

 

[Massa]

Acting. So good.

Eh, would have been a foul if he hadnt jumped. That's still a foul.

 

[GC|Simon]

I'm so sad now :-(

 

[Charles Foster Kane]

Seeing the Swiss goal keeper on the other are trying to score was heartbreaking.

 

[GBG]

Swiss were awful to watch, Argentina slightly less so. Probably just about deserved.

 

[Redd]

Lets get ready for some Freedom now.

 

[Alx]

I'm glad I only watched the end of the match... Intense !

 

[jett]

Argentina is absolutely nothing without Messi.

 

[zert]

oh damn... great game switzerland

 

[Rockyrock]

those last 5 minutes were something else.

 

[darkwing]

poor Swiss

 

[krishian]

Argentina are utter shit. All that firepower upfront and they can't do anything :/

 

[Ushojax]

Di Maria lost possession 51 times? That's incredible.

 

[alterno69]

Based Di Maria, watch him get MOTM

 

[Cosmozone]

That would've been cool, but the miss earlier already pretty much destroyed their chance for advancing.

 

[cripterion]

Someone should tell these teams the game doesn't start at 90+ minutes.

 

[lastflowers]

for the morning crowd. Get ready.

This world cup messed with Chile:

Chile's got a lot of heart. They named themselves after a delicious food. Those fellers dedicated themselves to a lifestyle of spicy upset stomachs. They did know their flags. They modelled themselves after the GOAT state in the good ol' U.S. of A. You fellers kicked them out of this World Cup, and we don't like those who mess with our state

Today is the day. It is a day of infamy. They day we clash with our European brethren. While America might be the deadliest place on the planet, the Belgiums are no slouches themselves. These foes hold deep in their hearts a desire to make the world's population grossly obese with their constant supply of fries, of fluffy waffles, of creamy confectionary.

So watch out Belgians. We've been knocked down before, but we get up again. Landycakes has been K.O.d, but others have taken his place as leaders in the lineup. Both Beasley and Dempsey remember the horrors of 2006. Rocky Balboa, a hero of Dempsey during his hard-knock- Nacogdoches life , actually met the two USMNT vets after the horror filled 2006 World Cup campaign. This is what he said to them:

You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!

We came back with a valiant campaign in 2010 under the tutelage of Dr Bradley. Nothing was expected of us. Donovan was a european has-been. Howard was a failed Manchester United experiment. Beasley thought beards were cool again and rode more benches than David Carr. Nepotism was on every journalist's lips. But Donovan was there. He had listened to Al Pacino the day before, and Algeria bore the brunt of his single-minded determination. But in the end, it didn't even matter. THe Ghanian voodoo warlock laid a curse on our boys: after a hardfought battle we were struck down, and we fell.

In that moment of darkness we were tested. But in that moment of darkness, and in that pain, we searched our inner selves and found some spark. It was a wondrous tale of magic, of ancient cultures, of good ol' American fortitude. We refused to lay down in our depressed, drunken state. We found a spark, a little glint of metal off in the distance. It was a lighter, a lone zippo burning faintly in the dark. It seemed to grow brighter. In fact that light was getting closer. What we found was magical:

German-Americans, and Klinsmann:

Jermaine: crunching tackles in the breeze
Fabian: drawing defenders out of position
Timmy: dispossessing with ease
Brooks: Making last minute scores
Green: Stars are in my eyes,
faster than our depletion pensions
Oh German-Americans I adore
German-Americans, what a sight!
German-Americans, and Klinsman!!!
fill my eyes with tears,
my heart with delight
Our German-Americans, and Klinsman!!!
'Round the Germany I go
Thinking of the USMNT sweety
Call me to my home
bring me back to US again
you can find you way.
What we have, we have completely
now and everyday, we are citizens!
Our German-Americans, what a sight!
Our German-Americans, and Klinsman!!!
fill my eyes with tears,
my heart with delight
Delight
Delight
Our German-Americans, and Klinsman!!


They mocked us. The salt-bearers tried to supersoak us down. Nerf guns, foam disks flung at us. I say try to clog my arteries greasy food slinging fools. I'll die on good ol' Hershey chocolate. I'll smell like teen spirit. I'll drink out of disposable Dixie-cups. It's time for gloryland. It's time to transform. The salt super soakers have been spraying us down. But we've had enough! It's time to stand up for our rights that the constitution guarantees. It's time to let the mighty eagle soar once more.. The oppressive, hatred has hit its meridian....but no longer! We'll fight back.



Taylor Swift, massive USMNT impersonator and karaoke-er, predicted July 13th nearly five years ago:

You're on the phone with your old fling
Spain's upset
She's going off about something that you said

Spoiler

(out in the group stage!)

'Cause Spain doesn't get your humor like I do
I'm in my room
It's a typical Monday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do'

But Spain wears short skirts
I wear T-shirts
Spain's cheer captain
And I'm on the Wall Street
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you can see that Klinsmann's the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with USMNT
You belong with USMNT

Walkin' the streets with you and your worn-out sheen
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey isn't this easy

And you've got a golden sheen that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since Spain brought you down
You say your fine
I know you better then that
Hey what you doing with a State like that

Spain wears high heels
I wear cowboy boots
Spain's cheer captain and I'm on the Wall Street
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you can see that Klinsmann's the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with USMNT

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know
World Cup, you belong with USMNT
You belong with USMNT

Oh, I remember you drivin' to the Rose Bowl in the middle of '94
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're about to cry
And I know your favorite songs (Gloryland, and Hot Hot Hot, and The Time of our Lives)
And you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong
I think I know it's with USMNT

Can't you see that Klinsmann's the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with USMNT

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time
How could you not know
World Cup, you belong with USMNT
You belong with USMNT

You belong with USMNT
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with USMNT
You belong with USMNT

Thank you Taylor, for all you have done for us

You too, Coach Taylor.

You too, Herb Brooks

USMNT: Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Lose. Time for our own great moment.

GoGoUsa

 

[NaM]

Good game Swiss, now get fuck out.

 

[fanboi]

That dive was so beautiful it's qualified that Swiss lad for the 2016 Rio Olympics 3 meter platform.

What? It wasnt a free kick? Really?

 

[BlackBuzzard]

There goes Switzerland the number 6 on the FIFA ranking

Spoiler

LOL!

 

[clemenx]

They did fuck all for 128 minutes so no real complaints

Swiss were clearly better 1st half.

 

[ronito]

BEST. FUCKING. WORLD. CUP. EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111shiftone!!!!

 

[nephilimdj]

fantastic last 5mins

 

[Tugatrix]

Now is time for Belgian Beer and Chocolate

 

[Lee Chaolan]

Wow what a finish!

 

[nny]

Man, so many heartbreaking conclusions to these matches.

 

[caffeinated]

so swiss you can't just park the bus and expect something good will come out of it.

 

[Maninthemirror]

Switzerland you deserve this for parking the bus

 

[Katana_Strikes]

Rooting for the Swiss to equalise there. Fully determined with the keeper as well up. That would have been legendary if they scored with that free kick right at the last second too.

 

[Divius]

The Swiss could have had this.

 

[Hoo-doo]

Argentinia is getting fucking crushed in the next round. Thats for damn sure.

That team is one big clusterfuck.

 

[iNvid02]

Di Maria lost possession 51 times? That's incredible.

its insane

 

[dani_dc]

Since they show it at work. I'd rather be working, lol

Nah, I don't.

Congrats, you won and you get to go back to work. I hope you're happy.

 

[CraigerGamer]

Those Swiss deserve better than tears

 

[Einbroch]

Eh, would have been a foul if he hadnt jumped. That's still a foul.

I'm not criticizing at all. I'm impressed. The facial expression, the convulsion. It's all so great.

 

[Wynnebeck]

I feel sad for Switzerland. Heartbreaker of a game.