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[Cow Mengde]

Hell, there are straight guys that won't go down on a girl. That doesn't make them prejudice.

 

[Masquerader]

Oh yeah dude, it's bananas. Depending on where I'm driving, if see those same kind of ads but targeted at different audiences.

I'm not a fan and would rather they be kept to more specialized media and location (Playboy and Bourbon st)

Y'see, this is a problem, people. Someone just said (rightly so) that these adverts are entirely suited for Playboy and the like. My apologies if I'm veering a little off topic here, but this is a serious issue. (also, remember that the likes of 10 year-olds are looking at these and are being influenced by these).

This. Plus, if anyone's been in any of the world cup threads, you'll know that people are basically posting pictures of women in the stands and, sometimes blatantly, fawning over how they look and critiquing their appearances. It's one of the most overt examples of heteronormativity and misogyny on this site (beside those __ is looking good threads).

Them types of threads are among the worst, whether they intend as such or not. I appreciate an attractive women as much as the next guy, but that's just oogling creepily.

 

[Hours Left]

It's not that simple.
They don't always choose it, and they don't always are in the spotlight for anything even remotely related to their looks.

Then to be more specific, I mean public figures that choose to be so, and are participating in something in which their looks are a part of the appeal.

The magician I made the comment in regards to is one of these people.

 

[SkeptiMism]

Spot on. I'm "straight" by the accepted definition of the word, but I worked in a primarily homosexual environment for over half of my adult life. At 18 years old I was prejudiced and found the homosexual act odd. Over time I just gave up on feeling that way and it no longer bothers me. Just as watching a man and a woman kissing or doing whatever doesn't bother me.

For many of us this is learned whilst growing up, kids using gay as a derogatory term, parents growing up in an era where it wasn't accepted or even talked about, stereotypes on TV, many reasons lead people to not accept something. But once you are out on your own make the effort to just accept people for what makes them happy, not for what makes you comfortable.

What bothers me is how many of the people who find sex or kissing between two men repulsive are happy to watch Male Female anal and kissing? I'm guessing most. That is prejudice, because the act itself isn't what's bothering them, it's the people involved.

This has been talked through in the thread already a bit, but why would that be so? If I see two women kissing, it's sexually arousing to me because I'm into women. I can also imagine myself doing things with them.
If I see two men kissing, I'm not sexually aroused but I am slightly grossed (not repulsed though) because I'm just sexually not into men

It would be similar if I saw two extremely fat people, man and woman, fucking. It would be gross to me. It's simply an instinctive thing for me and I don't think it's fair to say it's because of the people.

This isn't to say gay men shouldn't kiss on public places or that gays fucking shouldn't be shown on TV shows like Game of Thrones. On the contrary, I wished I saw more of that in TV and outside because I'm repulsed by the hate against gays and the more exposure the public gets, the faster the public will get used to that being gay is completely normal.

A lot of responses here are the typical straight guy responses, and really most people. "It's gross, I don't care though, but I don't want to see it." Big part of the reason why I am still very hesitant to display any type of affection for a guy in public, even hugging.

First of all, that's very, very unfortunate.

But that said, I don't think most of the people here saying they get repulsed by it are actually saying they'd be against seeing it.

I think one can say they are repulsed by seeing it but still recognize they shouldn't really be feeling that way.

I would say because unless you have prejudiced feelings towards gay men, you shouldn't find the act of them kissing gross.

There's a difference between not enjoying something and finding it revolting.

I'm not sure I agree with that. My wife doesn't like seeing two women kissing either and she really doesn't have any prejudices against lesbians.

It's great if you don't feel any gross seeing 2 men kissing or a man and woman kissing or whatever you're not into, but some people simply do no matter if they have or haven't got prejudices. It's simply an instinctive thing for many people. For some people it isn't.

Now, this doesn't mean that people feeling that way shouldn't critically analyze it. I know I do and I am trying to get rid of it, but it's really not easy.

 

[Kinitari]

Eh... I think it's important to be grounded here. Two dudes kissing bothering you might just be from lack of exposure. It was weird the first few times I saw it, but it's not all that weird in my city, so I got used to it before I got out of my teens. Now it's basically like a straight couple kissing. Mind you, I enjoy that sight of two kissing females significantly more, but that's to be expected.

When it comes to gay sex... well the only time this is relevant is when I am surfing porn. If suddenly I accidentally stumble on a video where like, there are dudes blowing each other, I usually just wince and move on. I'm not upset or mad or anything, it just saps my boner, so I don't like it.

 

[HUELEN10]

A lot of actions that some would call gay sex are just actions, actions that can be performed by anyone.

I don't see how the dislike of these actions would make one prejudiced. In fact, I think there is a real case of saying that if someone claims that dislike for these actions makes them a bigot, then the one making said claim is being prejudiced, because they've forgotten some things, including this one:

Homoromantic asexual couples

Asexual people range from being meh to sex as it's just a function with no connection or attraction to the other, to something absolutely repulsive. The only constant is simple; asexual people do not feel sexual attraction.

If one makes the claim that finding gay sex disgusting makes a person prejudiced, then they are by definition labeling some Homoromantic asexual couples as being prejudiced.

Personally, I think that's wrong!

 

[psylah]

I find spinach repulsive, but I don't think less of those that enjoy it.

Unless they're vegans. Filthy grasschewers.

 

[Hours Left]

I'm not sure I agree with that. My wife doesn't like seeing two women kissing either and she really doesn't have any prejudices against lesbians.

It's great if you don't feel any gross seeing 2 men kissing or a man and woman kissing or whatever you're not into, but some people simply do no matter if they have or haven't got prejudices. It's simply an instinctive thing for many people. For some people it isn't.

Now, this doesn't mean that people feeling that way shouldn't critically analyze it. I know I do and I am trying to get rid of it, but it's really not easy.

If it's instinctive, it's based on feeling you've cultivated, whether purposely or not. You're not born with an adversion to seeing gay people show affection, it is taught to you.

You can have prejudiced feeling unintentionally. That's why, as you said, it is important to analyze these feelings, and what you can do to change them.

A lot of actions that some would call gay sex are just actions, actions that can be performed by anyone.

I don't see how the dislike of these actions would make one prejudiced. In fact, I think there is a real case of saying that if someone claims that dislike for these actions makes them a bigot, then the one making said claim is being prejudiced, because they've forgotten some things, including this one:

Homoromantic asexual couples

Asexual people range from being meh to sex as it's just a function with no connection or attraction to the other, to something absolutely repulsive. The only constant is simple; asexual people do not feel sexual attraction.

If one makes the claim that finding gay sex disgusting makes a person prejudiced, then they are by definition labeling some Homoromantic asexual couples as being prejudiced.

Personally, I think that's wrong!

That's why myself, and other in this topic, have said that it's the feelings towards the people involved, not the actual action in and of itself, that's important.

I don't think anyone is saying that you must enjoy sex to be accepting of others, or vice versa. And if they are, that is wrong. There is nothing wrong with finding the act of sex, in and of itself, unappealing.

 

[Vitanimus]

If I see two men kissing, I'm not sexually aroused but I am slightly grossed (not repulsed though) because I'm just sexually not into men

That's fine.

If I see two men kissing, I'm not sexually aroused but I am slightly grossed (not repulsed though) because I'm just sexually not into men

That's not fine. This is the problem. There's really nothing gross about it. It's fine to have different sexual preferences, but to be grossed out by it would indicate some prejudice, in my opinion. A few people in the thread are arguing that LGBTQ community also indicate the same reaction to hetero couples displaying the same affection, and it's simply not true in that it's somehow suddenly acceptable if both sides of the fence have the same reaction. I'm not gonna freak out and cry if my arm brushes past someone's boob or something just because I don't find it physically attractive.

 

[Kinyou]

I definitely agree that it should be equal between genders.

And perhaps I didn't word my last post in the best way. I don't think it's wrong to comment on a random person's attractiveness either, but to go out of your way to single out someone and go on and on about them despite what is actually going on around you is not good. They are not there for your sexual pleasure.

Oh yeah, it of course gets uncomfortable when it drifts out into the creepy territory, like searching out facebooks etc.

 

[BadWolf]

Don't think so, since its just the act of sex that doesn't appeal to you and not the people involved as individuals or the idea of them being gay.

 

[Dr. Malik]

Lesbian sex grosses me out, vagina's for the most part

 

[ab.aeterno]

[...] In fact, I think there is a real case of saying that if someone claims that dislike for these actions makes them a bigot, then the one making said claim is being prejudiced, because they've forgotten some things, including this one:

Well it didn't take long for the "who's the real bigot?" card to get played.

 

[Anoregon]

Hell, there are straight guys that won't go down on a girl. That doesn't make them prejudice.

No, it just makes them tragic.

 

[Hours Left]

Don't think so, since its the act of sex that doesn't appeal to you and not the people involved as individuals or the idea of them being gay.

But that's not the case for some people, as this topic has demonstrated.

Comments like "two girls? AWESOME! two dudes? GROSS" are commonplace, but straight guys can't partake in lesbian sex, so why is it okay for them to approve one sexual pairing that has no bearing on them, and disapprove of another? (This gets into the aspects of straight male gaze and only approving of things that fuel their fantasies.)

Again, there is a big difference between not finding something appealing, and saying it's gross. If someone think two people expressing themselves in a physical manifestation of affection is disgusting because of their gender, then that's a problem, and it's one they need to deal with internally, not by imposing their beliefs on others.

Anyway, I REALLY need to go to sleep now, so I apologize if I'm not here to continue the discussion with anyone.

 

[Anoregon]

Comments like "two girls? AWESOME! two dudes? GROSS" are commonplace, but straight guys can't partake in lesbian sex, so why is it okay for them to approve one sexual pairing that has no bearing on them, and disapprove of another?

Isn't it just because they find both of the people in the lesbian pairing attractive, while neither in the gay pairing?

It's like, one of the situations has 4 boobs and the other has 0 boobs. It's just math.

 

[Cagey]

Isn't it just because they find both of the people in the lesbian pairing attractive, while neither in the gay pairing?

It's like, one of the situations has 4 boobs and the other has 0 boobs. It's just math.

Yep, it's pretty simple in that regard.

 

[MarkMclovin]

I would say because unless you have prejudiced feelings towards gay men, you shouldn't find the act of them kissing gross.

There's a difference between not enjoying something and finding it revolting.

You're right, but there's also a difference between finding something gross and finding something revolting.

 

[Hours Left]

Isn't it just because they find both of the people in the lesbian pairing attractive, while neither in the gay pairing?

No, it's because they can't include themselves into the scenario without analyzing their feeling towards possible same sex attraction. As in, if they are okay with two guys having sex, it must mean that they want to have sex with guys, and to them, that is not acceptable. Because what other reason would you have to find it gross? Why is love between two people, or any gender, gross? Because you don't (or think you can't) personally enjoy it?

That is prejudice. Something doesn't need to appeal to you to be valid, and it doesn't give you the right to express feelings of condemnation.

Anyway, I'm reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally going to bed now.

You're right, but there's also a difference between finding something gross and finding something revolting.

Semantics mainly. I don't think you'll get far with "I only find it a bit repulsive."

 

[BruiserBear]

I find anal sex to be disgusting, regardless of who is partaking.

 

[Cagey]

No, it's because they can't include themselves into the scenario without analyzing their feeling towards possible same sex attraction. As in, if they are okay with two guys having sex, it must mean that they want to have sex with guys, and to them, that is not acceptable. Because what other reason would you have to find it gross? Why is love between two people, or any gender, gross? Because you don't (or think you can't) personally enjoy it?

That is prejudice. Something doesn't need to appeal to you to be valid, and it doesn't give you the right to express feelings of condemnation.

Anyway, I'm reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally going to bed now.


Semantics mainly. I don't think you'll get far with "I only find it a bit repulsive."

Your post is an enormous reach, at best, and an instance of unnecessary attacking of others by calling them prejudice.

 

[hydragonwarrior]

Even the world's best male porn stars have tried anal just to experiment with it.

But for myself? Nah, I don't know how I'd feel about something up my butt... even though I've felt it before during a colon test (where I bet most guys have felt it as well). It's weird, but not something I'd want to experiment further with.

Giving it to a woman, on the other hand... yea I don't think any of us will say no. Just ensure it's wrapped unless you want your rod to smell like anus.

 

[sechsterangriff]

Is it really that strange to be repulsed by the idea of people you're not remotely attracted to engaging in sex or other sexual behavior?

The reality is that gay sex is far from being the only sexual behavior that causes repulsion.
For example, sex between the elderly is also something perfectly natural yet a lot of people frown at just the thought of it.

I honestly think that type of reaction isn't necessarily related to whether they accept it or not.

 

[JCX]

I'd guess the question is more, do you find anal/oral sex/public kissing gross regardless of who is participating, or is it only when LGBT individuals partake in these activities?

 

[Easy_D]

Of course it doesn't. Plenty of straight people find the idea of homosexual sex acts kind of gross, just as plenty of gay people find the idea of heterosexual sex acts kind of gross. I think in general people find the idea of sex with someone/something they are not attracted to to be kind of gross.

Yeah, a straight person seeing straight sex between people he/she think are ugly is probably going to think that's gross as well.

 

[Hours Left]

Your post is an enormous reach, at best, and an instance of unnecessary attacking of others by calling them prejudice.

No, it's not.

Please explain to me why it's okay for people to express that sexual gender pairing that they themselves are not included in are gross. Because I don't see any valid answer to that question.

The crux of this is, things that do not interest you =/= things that disgust you. If something disgusts you, then you have prejudiced feelings towards, whether intentionally or not.

 

[ramuh]

It feels a little weird I gotta to admit as a Hetero. But I really don't care what private lives people live, sexual or otherwise. The important thing to me is, do they pay taxes? Everything is else is irrelevant to me.

 

[Vashetti]

no one cares what you think is repulsive. I'm not being mean, I'm just saying.. it's meaningless and you should hang up any notions that your opinion about anyone else's sexuality matters.

if you are grossed out by thinking about something and it bothers you (which in this case i believe that it should), try to identify why you feel that way about this certain thing, or even why you're thinking about it in the first place. constantly questioning the reasons behind your thoughts and feelings is the most important thing you can to to foster personal growth and become a better person, and recognizing that what you feel about something on an extremely basic or primal level doesn't fucking matter is a good first step.

This is surprisingly insightful.

 

[Malvolio]

There are plenty of sex acts that I may find repulsive, but I'm not willing to judge anyone based off of what they like in the bedroom.

 

[Cagey]

No, it's not.

Please explain to me why it's okay for people to express that sexual gender pairing that they themselves are not included in are gross. Because I don't see any valid answer to that question.

The crux of this is, things that do not interest you =/= things that disgust you. If something disgusts you, then you have prejudiced feelings towards, whether intentionally or not.

I think you're much too hung up on the word choice of "gross" and then projecting from there that the word must have an underlying current of hatred for the word to be used.

 

[Hours Left]

I think you're much too hung up on the word choice of "gross" and then projecting from there that the word must have an underlying current of hatred for the word to be used.

What else do you use gross for, other than for things you don't like?

 

[Pila]

I used to find it gross when I was a teenager. Now I don't care. Being a big supporter of gay marriage (and children adoption) kinda changed my natural reaction to it. Hell, I even went to a big party thrown by a gay association and it was awesome.

 

[The Adder]

Only if finding the act of old people sex repulsive is prejudiced against the elderly.

Two people I find entirely sexually unattractive going at it, not my thing.

I know it's happening. I'm legitimately glad they're getting theirs and no one's stopping them. I just don't want to see it. Ever. Please.

Now having that kind of reaction to two people kissing in public? That's when I start to think someone has some hate in their heart.

 

[Klyka]

I am not a fan of anal sex in general,no matter which gender practices it, so I don't feel prejudiced towards "gay sex" at all.

 

[cyclonekruse]

Comments like "two girls? AWESOME! two dudes? GROSS" are commonplace, but straight guys can't partake in lesbian sex, so why is it okay for them to approve one sexual pairing that has no bearing on them, and disapprove of another? (This gets into the aspects of straight male gaze and only approving of things that fuel their fantasies.)

My hypothesis is that when you see people kissing or having sex, you (on some level) imagine yourself being part of it. That is, you to some extent live vicariously through what you see. That's the entire point of POV videos, after all.

So when a hetero male sees two girls kiss, it's doubly stimulating because he can imagine himself making out with either one. When he sees two guys kiss, it automatically forces himself to imagine (possibly not on a conscious level) being in one of their shoes. And he is repulsed by the thought (whether it be because of fear of actually liking it or just plain old distaste at the thought of kissing another guy).

 

[Tinfoilhatsron]

Public figures choose to be in the spotlight, and that comes with scrutiny, whether good or bad. (And that's not to say I think talking about how attractive a celebrity is should be discouraged, heck, I do it all the time, just look at my avatar.) Ogling celebs is not quite the same as picking out random women in a crowd to drool over.

And the degree in which males are subject to appraisals of their sexual appeal is still no where close to how much it affects women.

Well I have to feel like saying that some of tge pics were made by models in the team jeresey lol. I do agree the random girl spotting is funny though.

 

[Spineker]

Ask yourself this, OP: If a gay guy walked up to you, grabbed you on the junk and started coming on to you, would you be repulsed as a straight man?

Yes? Well there's your answer. Nature won't be denied on this. It isn't a matter of homophobia or prejudice at all.

 

[DJKhaled]

it depends, does it happen just because they're two men doing it ? If so, yes, there's a slight homophobic subtext.
Does it happen because you find anal sex, oral sex repulsive? If so, no

Wait, this makes no sense, so if you find anal sex repulsive that's okay, but finding gay sex repulsive has homophobic subtext? isn't it the same thing, in the way that it is simply something you aren't attracted to. I think for a completely straight non-prejudice male it is normal to be repulsed by gay sex, it isn't something that a straight male is wired to be attracted to, hence why they aren't gay. Being repulsed by something most of the time isn't a conscious choice anyway.

 

[Cagey]

What else do you use gross for, other than for things you don't like?

So you agree it's a word that can be used for things a person doesn't like. Such as anchovies on pizza or, more topical to this thread about sex, ass to mouth (which I find quite gross).

So the assumption you're making is that a straight man can't dislike watching the act of two men having sex without making a judgment about their homosexuality?

That's absurd.

 

[Hours Left]

Ask yourself this, OP: If a gay guy walked up to you, grabbed you on the junk and started coming on to you, would you be repulsed as a straight man?

Yes? Well there's your answer. Nature won't be denied on this. It isn't a matter of homophobia or prejudice at all.

Pardon me? What you just described is sexual assault.

So you agree it's a word that can be used for things a person doesn't like. Such as anchovies on pizza or, more topical to this thread about sex, ass to mouth (which I find quite gross).

So the assumption you're making is that a straight man can't dislike watching the act of two men having sex without making a judgment about their homosexuality?

That's absurd.

I'll say this again, there is a difference between something that does not interest you, and something that disgusts you. If something disgusts you, it's because you don't wish to have any interaction with it. But no one is asking anyone to watch/partake in sexual activity that they don't want to. That doesn't give someone the right to express that an sexual activity between two people is disgusting. That is them forcing their beliefs on others.

If you're watching a TV show that shows a gay love scene, comments like "two dudes? GROSS!" are not okay. If you find the act of sex between to people repulsive because of their gender, that is a problem.

People need to examine these feelings, because even if it is not intentional, it is still prejudice.

Edit: I'm actually in bed now. Please imagine any of my further comments to be respectful and insightful. Good night all.

 

[Spineker]

Pardon me? What you just described is sexual assault.

In that circumstance, a straight guy won't be thinking of it as sexual assault. They would be too focused on the fact it's a fellow guy doing it.

Probably a poor example. Sorry I'm a bit drunk right now.

 

[sechsterangriff]

Only if finding the act of old people sex repulsive is prejudiced against the elderly.

Two people I find entirely sexually unattractive going at it, not my thing.

I know it's happening. I'm legitimately glad they're getting theirs and no one's stopping them. I just don't want to see it. Ever. Please.

Now having that kind of reaction to two people kissing in public? That's when I start to think someone has some hate in their heart.

It really depends on context and culture.
For example, I doubt most people would be uncomfortable with a couple kissing in a park. But maybe they wouldn't be that much comfortable if it was a packed subway/metro car. Go to an extremist country and doing it in public is just big "NO! NO!".

 

[Mononoke]

Social conditioning sure is something. I was raised in an environment to view homosexuality as not the norm. Even though I have no issues with it as an adult and am a strong supporter of equal rights, I carry the shame of still sometimes feeling strange about it.

But the way I see it, another persons sexual life is none of my business.

 

[BruiserBear]

Social conditioning sure is something. I was raised in an environment to view gays as not the norm.

Homophobia has nothing to do with me thinking anal sex is gross.

 

[ab.aeterno]

I think you're much too hung up on the word choice of "gross" and then projecting from there that the word must have an underlying current of hatred for the word to be used.

I think you may be getting hung up on the word prejudiced to mean "consciously holding hated for" instead of "a bias against." That, at least, had been my read of Hours' posts. It's not to say that finding gay people kissing gross makes you hold active hatred in your heart, it's that being in a heteronormative society that conditions you to find homosexuality as weird has created an unconscious dislike of seeing it.

I know it's happening. I'm legitimately glad they're getting theirs and no one's stopping them. I just don't want to see it. Ever. Please.

I just genuinely don't understand this reaction though. I'm not attracted to women, but I don't react to the thought of lesbian sex as not wanting to see it ever. I have no interest in seeing it, but I won't avoid it either when it comes up in shows/movies or whatever.

 

[Mononoke]

Homophobia has nothing to do with me thinking poop is gross.

I edited my post, not that it helps. But when you are raised in an environment when all your told is that homosexuality isn't normal, it's hard to shake some of that. It's definitely fear and ignorance.

It's shameful. That said, anyone with morality should know why depriving anyone of their rights is despicable.

 

[HylianTom]

I drove two of my uncles and my aunts nuts when, during a discussion about "God's design," I told them that God must've deliberately designed and positioned the prostate to be so positively responsive during anal sex. They were astounded.

 

[sixteen-bit]

Not prejudiced, just close-minded.

 

[CyclopsRock]

You can't really control the way you feel about something, only the manner in which you respond to it.

 

[BruiserBear]

I edited my post, not that it helps. But when you are raised in an environment when all your told is that homosexuality isn't normal, it's hard to shake some of that. It's definitely fear and ignorance.

It's shameful. That said, anyone with morality should know why depriving anyone of their rights is despicable.

But that's not what this thread is asking about.