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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond

Meeting up with my first Coffee Meets Bagel match tonight. She seems cool so I'm excited about that.

Going to try and lock down some second dates later tonight. Only had first dates so far, not including the girl I saw a 2nd time and took home. She might just be a casual thing.
 
Got a date for Wed off Match. She's a firecracker. We texted, sent pictures and talked all day today. Pretty excited to meet her. Unfortunately, for her job she travels around the east coast for the majority of the year amd gets summer off. And she is an hour away. So logistically, this might be problematic. She's talked about getting a job closer to home soon though, but we'll see. I have never done the long distance thing, but then I've never dated a girl worth trying it for.
 
One thing I learned, be wary of people who don't smile, they're not smiling for a really good reason (surprise!)

When someone tells you "Oh... I weigh like 8 pounds heavier than my pictures' and you shrug it off, because who cares about 8 pounds? Just add a 0 after that 8, because she meant 80. (getting deceived is the worst but not as bad as)


Going out with a beautiful girl, things are going well, but girl is wearing boots and heavy jeans in 95 degree weather, doesn't want to go on the beach or was all ready to come out this great pizza place but can't and makes me turn the car around in a huge fight once she finds out what town the place is... .... Surprise! . Former heroin addict with a gps tracker on their ankle (should I have put that in spoilers?)
 
devilsadvocat said:
One thing I learned, be wary of people who don't smile, they're not smiling for a really good reason (surprise!)

When someone tells you "Oh... I weigh like 8 pounds heavier than my pictures' and you shrug it off, because who cares about 8 pounds? Just add a 0 after that 8, because she meant 80. (getting deceived is the worst but not as bad as)


Going out with a beautiful girl, things are going well, but girl is wearing boots and heavy jeans in 95 degree weather, doesn't want to go on the beach or was all ready to come out this great pizza place but can't and makes me turn the car around in a huge fight once she finds out what town the place is... .... Surprise! . Former heroin addict with a gps tracker on their ankle (should I have put that in spoilers?)
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Now that's bizarre!
 
My biggest pet peeve is when you are messaging back and forth for a bit with a girl, and you finally ask her out for coffee/drinks/whatever and she's like "ohh I like to talk a lot more before seeing someone in person!" CMON!!
 
Fisticuffs said:
My biggest pet peeve is when you are messaging back and forth for a bit with a girl, and you finally ask her out for coffee/drinks/whatever and she's like "ohh I like to talk a lot more before seeing someone in person!" CMON!!
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yep at that point i would be polite but firm and say you're interested in dating and that messaging is too confined.
 
Fisticuffs said:
My biggest pet peeve is when you are messaging back and forth for a bit with a girl, and you finally ask her out for coffee/drinks/whatever and she's like "ohh I like to talk a lot more before seeing someone in person!" CMON!!
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lol I'm in the am boat with this girl. Been talking for 2 weeks now. Not sure either she's my type, but she's a pretty quick texted and is someone to talk to while at work.

Finally cracks she though and we're meeting up in 2 weeks after her vacay.

As for the date I just had tonight it was decent. She's cute but very traditional. Her mom didn't want her meeting guys off okc and she said okay and deactivated her profile :lol

I also found out how exhausting it is to carry the majority of the conversation over a 2 hour period. Yeesh.

Might be one to a second date. I'll have to think about it if indeed she's interested.
 
backslashbunny said:
Eh, goes both ways.

Had quite a few people PM me telling me I was "stealing" pictures from others.




Uh, no, it's all me, okay? I'm flattered, but please stop telling me I'm stealing pictures -__-.
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Oh I mean if it's something obvious like celebrities or people that clearly live elsewhere.
 
So I actually actively pursued people on OKC and now I'm juggling talking to four woman at a time. They're all varying degrees of attractiveness and they all look very different ethnicity wise, but they're all interesting.
 
I finally got Tinder, and swiped everyone in the entire 10 mile radius around me. :p So far got 5 matches. This is a lot easier than OKC because I don't have to fill out a profile.
 
EloquentM said:
So I actually actively pursued people on OKC and now I'm juggling talking to four woman at a time. They're all varying degrees of attractiveness and they all look very different ethnicity wise, but they're all interesting.
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Welcome to my world but with Tinder. It feels overwhelming bouncing back between several conversations and new matches to message. I'm closing in on dates with at least 3 in addition to a fourth from OKC since I got a girl's number but have absolutely no idea what to suggest doing. My wallet is really tight to go to bars unless I offer to go Dutch. :/

What are some cheap dates ideas for when you don't have much money to spend? I know of several nice areas here in NYC including the High Line and parks e.g. Bryant Park which has ping pong tables for the public to play. Walking around downtown Manhattan and eating ice cream is also another cheap alternative. Any others?
 
Fisticuffs said:
I finally got Tinder, and swiped everyone in the entire 10 mile radius around me. :p So far got 5 matches. This is a lot easier than OKC because I don't have to fill out a profile.
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I finally decide to swipe all right on both OKC and Tinder for the weekend and I got about 12 matches on OKC and about 20 on Tinder. Doesn't mean they all responded though and it was all levels of attractionness. Out of those, I had better conversations on OKC with one possible date coming out of it.
 
Jipan said:
Welcome to my world but with Tinder. It feels overwhelming bouncing back between several conversations and new matches to message. I'm closing in on dates with at least 3 in addition to a fourth from OKC since I got a girl's number but have absolutely no idea what to suggest doing. My wallet is really tight to go to bars unless I offer to go Dutch. :/

What are some cheap dates ideas for when you don't have much money to spend? I know of several nice areas here in NYC including the High Line and parks e.g. Bryant Park which has ping pong tables for the public to play. Walking around downtown Manhattan and eating ice cream is also another cheap alternative. Any others?
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I'll think of ideas and respond in the morning. Luckily most of my okc'ers went to sleep. The number went up from four to six and now it's just about two.
 
Stargazing was a success. I was groping the shit out of 2nd base. Couldn't go all the way, got work in a few hours at my new job in the morning.

[/SuccessKid]
 
Jipan said:
Welcome to my world but with Tinder. It feels overwhelming bouncing back between several conversations and new matches to message. I'm closing in on dates with at least 3 in addition to a fourth from OKC since I got a girl's number but have absolutely no idea what to suggest doing. My wallet is really tight to go to bars unless I offer to go Dutch. :/

What are some cheap dates ideas for when you don't have much money to spend? I know of several nice areas here in NYC including the High Line and parks e.g. Bryant Park which has ping pong tables for the public to play. Walking around downtown Manhattan and eating ice cream is also another cheap alternative. Any others?
Click to expand...

http://www.timeout.com/newyork/things-to-do

They have have great ideas and they let you know if upcoming events. Maybe the rooftop movies?
 
Just want to say that BADOO is an incredibly popular Free Dating Website in the UK. They have an app for smartphones too. Their iOS version is constantly in the UK iTunes Top Grossing Apps.

I met my girlfriend using the Plenty Of Fish iOS app. We've been together now since Nov/Dec 2013 and it's going absolutely great!!
 
Jipan said:
Welcome to my world but with Tinder. It feels overwhelming bouncing back between several conversations and new matches to message. I'm closing in on dates with at least 3 in addition to a fourth from OKC since I got a girl's number but have absolutely no idea what to suggest doing. My wallet is really tight to go to bars unless I offer to go Dutch. :/

What are some cheap dates ideas for when you don't have much money to spend? I know of several nice areas here in NYC including the High Line and parks e.g. Bryant Park which has ping pong tables for the public to play. Walking around downtown Manhattan and eating ice cream is also another cheap alternative. Any others?
Click to expand...

That's my problem with Manhattan, outside of the fact I have to take a train in there from long Island, some girls don't want casual first dates like you mentioned above, they want dinner at an expensive place of their chosing before doing any of the things you listed above (not all, some, some girls are content with just walking around, listening to you talk and a walk through the park)
 
So, what do you people do on these Tinderdates (or any online dates) when the "magic doesn't seem to happen."

I have had this a couple of times. Sitting in a cafe, drinking something, talking very casually, having a good time, and at the end it's maybe even "let's do this again"...

And somehow I always expect something more should have happened on that first date, but for the girls it seems kind of okay the way it happened...

Am I thinking and expecting too much?

So, is it okay for you on a first date if stuff like kissing or handholding or similar doesn't happen, and, do you go on further dates with that girl?
 
StifflersMum said:
So, what do you people do on these Tinderdates (or any online dates) when the "magic doesn't seem to happen."

I have had this a couple of times. Sitting in a cafe, drinking something, talking very casually, having a good time, and at the end it's maybe even "let's do this again"...

And somehow I always expect something more should have happened on that first date, but for the girls it seems kind of okay the way it happened...

Am I thinking and expecting too much?

So, is it okay for you on a first date if stuff like kissing or handholding or similar doesn't happen, and, do you go on further dates with that girl?
Click to expand...


This is just my personal experience but I've never been on a second date with a guy I didn't kiss on the first, and I've never kissed a guy on the first date and not had a second. Though I think I'm quite forward, not sure about other women. Also alcohol helps.

With that said, as long as you're happy with the pace that things are progressing at, I wouldn't worry too much. Some people just need more time.
 
electricshake said:
This is just my personal experience but I've never been on a second date with a guy I didn't kiss on the first, and I've never kissed a guy on the first date and not had a second. Though I think I'm quite forward, not sure about other women. Also alcohol helps.

With that said, as long as you're happy with the pace that things are progressing at, I wouldn't worry too much. Some people just need more time.
Click to expand...

Kind of the same for me on "real life dates", but it's weird with these online dates. You sometimes already feel so close to these people you haven't met before, and when it finally happens you wonder why it doesn't work.
 
StifflersMum said:
Kind of the same for me on "real life dates", but it's weird with these online dates. You sometimes already feel so close to these people you haven't met before, and when it finally happens you wonder why it doesn't work.
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Mine have mainly been from OKC but I know what you mean. Sometimes you just don't have that spark or chemistry. I try and set up a date ASAP to avoid that, rather than getting to know someone well before meeting them.
 
Just ended a brief second run with online dating. The thing that burned me out my last go about a year ago hit on two straight out of the gate. Talk to a girl, seems interested, bunch of messages, and... poof. Second one, she seems very interested, we talk and text all week, snapchat and facebook, date planned for Friday, she talked about how excited she is and says good night on friday... last I heard from her. She was on Facebook too.

Sucks as OKC is 99% moms and/or carrying unhealthy amount of weight. (I'm a big guy myself, but a lot of these girls are insanely big, and I like meat on my girls). A lot seem to be into something medical too, lots of nurses, dental hygienists, and social workers it seems. This last one seemed normal. Plus, dating in general is troublesome, and it's a lot of work.

I'm out, don't HATE being single. Just wish I could find someone to get dinner with, watch movies and play games with, take the occasional vacation, and have sex with. Simple right? Haha
 
StifflersMum said:
So, what do you people do on these Tinderdates (or any online dates) when the "magic doesn't seem to happen."

I have had this a couple of times. Sitting in a cafe, drinking something, talking very casually, having a good time, and at the end it's maybe even "let's do this again"...

And somehow I always expect something more should have happened on that first date, but for the girls it seems kind of okay the way it happened...

Am I thinking and expecting too much?

So, is it okay for you on a first date if stuff like kissing or handholding or similar doesn't happen, and, do you go on further dates with that girl?
Click to expand...

The online dates I've been on: If i've felt any sort of physical attraction I make a move and kiss at some point which tends to lead to sex. Then more sex and when I eventually realize I have a cold dark soul I dump these women which is super awkward.

Of the ones I met and just talked but wasn't feeling any attraction, I've just left it with a "that was fun" and never talked to them again.

I was friends with my ex-wife for a good 6 months before i went on a date with her but I worked with her.


I have no idea what i'm doing.
 
GK86 said:
http://www.timeout.com/newyork/things-to-do

They have have great ideas and they let you know if upcoming events. Maybe the rooftop movies?
Click to expand...
I forgot about Time Out New York. I'll look into this. There's a show called $9.99 on NYC-TV that highlights a ton of of cheap stuff to do in the city for $10 or less. Also a place called Fat Cat outside the 1 train on Christopher street that I went to for a GAF meet up that has pool, ping pong, board games, and live music for dirt cheap that I have in mind. I need to sell off more games I have no interest in keeping to make some extra cash.
devilsadvocat said:
That's my problem with Manhattan, outside of the fact I have to take a train in there from long Island, some girls don't want casual first dates like you mentioned above, they want dinner at an expensive place of their chosing before doing any of the things you listed above (not all, some, some girls are content with just walking around, listening to you talk and a walk through the park)
Click to expand...
Tell me about it. I've never done dinner dates because I know that it would kill my budget. The cheapest date I've done so far this year is spend 50 cents to go to The Met. I love going to museums because of suggested donation/free days. Thankfully all the girls have been cool about letting me set the plans that dinner never gets brought up. But damn going to bars unless it's during Happy Hour and stick to $5 beers. One thing I've noticed about the girls I've talking to on Tinder is that many of them are new to the city and would probably get impressed very easily by simply showing them to a new area they haven't been to e.g. Fort Tryon/The Cloisters in my case since the most famous park near me. For example this one white girl that I'm talking to just moved here from St.Louis, MO three weeks ago and has been doing exactly that.
 
I decided to delete my POF account. Being a man we have to fully commit if we want to get anywhere on there due to competition being so vast. Women get like 50 different people messaging them a day, and to stand out from the crowd I feel I can't put in enough time without it eating into my already busy life - which I don't want.Hell GAF looks like I'm just going to have to find women the old fashioned way.

Good luck fellow gaffers.
 
Dharma said:
I decided to delete my POF account. Being a man we have to fully commit if we want to get anywhere on there due to competition being so vast. Women get like 50 different people messaging them a day, and to stand out from the crowd I feel I can't put in enough time without it eating into my already busy life - which I don't want.Hell GAF looks like I'm just going to have to find women the old fashioned way.

Good luck fellow gaffers.
Click to expand...

The way I look at it, online dating is a supplement to dating the old fashioned way of meeting people irl. I admit the barrier of entry is a lot easier since all you have to do is approach a woman at a bar and immediately you'll know if she's receptive or not. However sometimes I'm not in that mood to be social in person and I'll send a couple of quick and thoughtful messages that takes no longer than 5 min to write.

Good luck on your end too! Hopefully I'll see you around in the regular Dating-Age thread :)
 
So I've been talking with this girl and it all seems to be going great, so I figure I may as well try and ask her out. You know sort of noncommittal, why don't we hang out and finish this conversation in person. All of a sudden everything seems to screech to a halt, no reply. Nothing I can really do about it, but shit's frustrating.
 
B-Dubs said:
So I've been talking with this girl and it all seems to be going great, so I figure I may as well try and ask her out. You know sort of noncommittal, why don't we hang out and finish this conversation in person. All of a sudden everything seems to screech to a halt, no reply. Nothing I can really do about it, but shit's frustrating.
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I think alot of people also use dating sites just to get some attention on their phones. Keep those notifications flowing.
 
I find that some girls just like the attention and noncommintment of chatting online and are too scared or lazy or whatever the reason it may be to actually meet in person. Chances are she is one of these people. I wouldn't hold my breath and just move on.
 
TheApatheticOne said:
Sucks as OKC is 99% moms and/or carrying unhealthy amount of weight. (I'm a big guy myself, but a lot of these girls are insanely big, and I like meat on my girls). A lot seem to be into something medical too, lots of nurses, dental hygienists, and social workers it seems. This last one seemed normal. Plus, dating in general is troublesome, and it's a lot of work.
Click to expand...

I don't mean to be insensitive, but the way OKC works is you don't ever get shown people much more attractive than you. The attractiveness filter does very little, if anything. If OKC is showing you bummer profiles, it probably thinks your profile is a bit of a bummer. Usually, that's because the ratings you've gotten from prospective mates have been low.

That very well may be your experience on the site, but for me it's about 3% parents/overweight. Not anything close to 99%.
 
Abe Bly said:
I don't mean to be insensitive, but the way OKC works is you don't ever get shown people much more attractive than you. The attractiveness filter does very little, if anything. If OKC is showing you bummer profiles, it probably thinks your profile is a bit of a bummer. Usually, that's because the ratings you've gotten from prospective mates have been low.

That very well may be your experience on the site, but for me it's about 3% parents/overweight. Not anything close to 99%.
Click to expand...

Edit turns out you are right.

On the plus side, apparently i'm attractive!
 
Abe Bly said:
I don't mean to be insensitive, but the way OKC works is you don't ever get shown people much more attractive than you. The attractiveness filter does very little, if anything. If OKC is showing you bummer profiles, it probably thinks your profile is a bit of a bummer. Usually, that's because the ratings you've gotten from prospective mates have been low.

That very well may be your experience on the site, but for me it's about 3% parents/overweight. Not anything close to 99%.
Click to expand...

Well, 99% was an exaggeration, but it makes up a good portion. This second go around is on the profile I used last year. I doubt their attractiveness engine works the way you explain, and even if it does, I've gotten the crap "you're attractive!" email from OKC that supposedly refines your searchs. I'm sure a lot depends on area and various factors.

Anyways, best of luck!
 
Halcyon said:
I think alot of people also use dating sites just to get some attention on their phones. Keep those notifications flowing.
Click to expand...
Yup agreed. Egos love to get stroked all the time so it's no surprise that people don't solely use dating websites/apps to meet up and see if sparks fly; attention gets people high off good feelings.

On the flip side of that, even if it doesn't lead anywhere, at least one gets a good conversation out of it if nothing else. So while it sucks that people use it as an ego booster, the other camp gets to practice social/conversational skills.

Also agree with y2dvd in that some people are probably scared of meeting someone off the internet or have old stigmas about online dating. I've been meeting people from the internet since 2008 when I went to my GAF meet up. It's nothing to be scared of.
 
There's one thing I noticed about online dating that annoys me. Every time I'm REALLY attracted to a girl on there I make it work only halfway. I'll either meet the girl in person and not make it past a first date, or get a message response with some kind of string attached (ex. long delay in response). Currently going through that right now.

EDIT: @backslashbunny - is that you in your avatar? Y hello tharrrrrrrrr. ;)
 
Just wanted to chime in here and wish you all good luck!

My experience with online dating was a short stint on OKCupid where I got addicted to answering questions and looking through profiles. Messaged a few girls and went out 2 dates with one girl, but I am terrible at dating and never led anywhere. My impressions are that OKCupid was like real life dating at a higher speed. Except instead of that physical, immediate chemical attraction as a filter/selector you have profiles/messages, although the Profile pic was also important. Online or offline, you have to have some sort of game to really get anywhere, at least for a straight man. For women, it's also like real life in that you're playing soccer goalie trying to block all those loose balls flying towards your net. Online you just get a lot more balls.

Still, I just went to my best friend's wedding, who met her now-husband on OKCupid. I also know about a half dozen women who have done the same (and 1 man), so there is hope! Oh, and apparently Tinder is amazing for gay men? At a recent party, we went around the room telling stories about best/worst experiences. Every gay man (and there were several) started their story with "So this one time on Tinder..." And even if the story involved shady, crazy, terrible things, it always ended with "so we had sex and then I got the hell out there."
 
stn said:
There's one thing I noticed about online dating that annoys me. Every time I'm REALLY attracted to a girl on there I make it work only halfway. I'll either meet the girl in person and not make it past a first date, or get a message response with some kind of string attached (ex. long delay in response). Currently going through that right now.

EDIT: @backslashbunny - is that you in your avatar? Y hello tharrrrrrrrr. ;)
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Hey!

NeoGAF is not online dating
 
Perhaps this is not the best place to ask this, but is there a website similar to a dating site except only for making friends? I fear I'm going to be alone in life once I leave school and a way like that to make friends through the internet would be nice for me.
 
ImpassionateGods said:
Perhaps this is not the best place to ask this, but is there a website similar to a dating site except only for making friends? I fear I'm going to be alone in life once I leave school and a way like that to make friends through the internet would be nice for me.
Click to expand...

Meetup!

Seriously. If you find a good group with consistent meetups and good people, stick with it. I've been going to this same group since December and it's the best. There's at least a meetup every week so you see consistent faces, which leads to familiarity, which leads to friendship.

I'm going to Vegas with a group of guy friends I've met on there.
 
ImpassionateGods said:
Perhaps this is not the best place to ask this, but is there a website similar to a dating site except only for making friends? I fear I'm going to be alone in life once I leave school and a way like that to make friends through the internet would be nice for me.
Click to expand...

AdultFriendFinder.com

Not Really. NSFW
 
How soon should I really expect a response if I am actually going to get one? I've been figuring if not within 2 days they aren't interested anymore but I probably have only gotten like less than 10 people that have actually even sent a 1st message or reply...

I guess I'll send a secondary follow up in like a week just in case they forget, not much else to lose at that point...
 
davepoobond said:
How soon should I really expect a response if I am actually going to get one? I've been figuring if not within 2 days they aren't interested anymore but I probably have only gotten like less than 10 people that have actually even sent a 1st message or reply...

I guess I'll send a secondary follow up in like a week just in case they forget, not much else to lose at that point...
Click to expand...

Are you waiting for a text response or an online message response?
 
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