I'm making a post here, since someone PM'd me asking and I figured it was better to just clear the air.
No, I did not leave because of the last post here (what Joeytj is referring to)...well sort of. Basically, my cousin who I was really close with (like best friends) had committed suicide after a life long battle of clinical depression. That entire week I was emotionally distraught, and was having a hard time coping with it. Emotionally I was not stable, and had no business posting on NeoGAF while in this mental state. However, one of the ways I tried dealing with my sadness was to distract myself by posting on GAF like a mad man. So yeah, when I saw a post in this thread that rubbed me the wrong way (the way a certain poster was being stand offish to someone), I launched in on them and got into the whole debate about sub-bending and what not. Of course, people debated with me on it (and they had every right to do so), but I wasn't really in the right mind frame. And so to me, it felt like people were piling up on me.
Of course that wasn't true at all. No one was to blame and no one was piling up on me (it was me that was being aggressive). In fact, they were doing what any normal person would do when they don't agree with someone and were calmly debating it. But I wasn't really being rational in that moment, and I was being overly emotional and so I kind of had a little meltdown. I don't want to make excuses for it, because it was clearly childish and pathetic. But what can I say, I was on a war path, and on the hinge of breaking down emotionally, so it wasn't anything but irrational.
So a couple days went by, and I decided that I was going to just leave NeoGAF. Again, it wasn't rational. I was going to message Evilore and have him ban my account. However, my GF who is an avid gamer told me that she would take the account instead (I think she figured I would eventually want to go back to GAF, so she just took it until I was ready to come back). However, I had an admin change the accounts name to her favorite character (Persona is actually my favorite series, but Chie is my fav character), because at the moment I figured she really was going to take it over. I of course quickly regretted doing this, as after a day of two of emotional release, I realized how irrational I was being about everything.
But, the damage was done. I have a name change now, and I really couldn't go back to this thread after abandoning my beloved name, and leaving on such a dramatic fashion. I'm both embarrassed and ashamed. And the worst part of all this, is that I still find myself having a wave of emotion come over me at random times of the day, and I start crying. I know that time will eventually heal my wounds. I just ask that you guys don't think too poorly of me, for reacting the way that I did. Again, I know it was pathetic and shameful. I know it was irrational. I'm not proud of it.
Anyways, I don't think I'll be posting in this thread again (for the obvious reason that I'm embarrassed and ashamed). But, I figured I would at least let some folks know why I stopped posting here, and why I had the bizarro name change.
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