fabricated backlash
Member
So I turned 30 years old 2 days ago.
I suffered from severe depression for the last few years. I was always a bit depressed for all my teens and early 20s, but at about 26 it turned into full blown, debilitating depression. I couldn't move forward, couldn't muster the energy to spend time with friends and gained a lot of weight. Last year I weighed at 95kg, I was bloated and pale. My job applications went nowhere and I started to become fatalistic and bitter.
I saw my best friends move forward in their life, get married, advance in their careers, get kids, and to my shock I started getting envious of them. I hated myself for that. I wanted them to be happy and wanted to be happy for them, but there was this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that kept spoiling these great moments for me.
I also hated my body. Flabby, bloated and I felt like there's no way I could be attractive to my Girlfriend.
Long story short. I lost all self respect and I was pretty close to giving up for good.
My GF helped me to snap out of this cycle of self loathing and lethargy by giving me an ultimatum. The prospect of losing her at the very least put me on track to get out of the house again, become socially active and tried to get in shape.
Soon after, I got a job. It wasn't what I wanted for myself. The pay isn't worth mentioning (but I can sustain myself at least). But through the hard physical work and good colleagues I learned to at the very least respect myself again. Since then I lost about 13kg, built up a lot of stamina, and actually feel pretty good about my physical well being. I proposed to my GF and we're engaged, set to marry next year in July. I also am formulating plans with a good friend of mine to start up a business in a few years. (we're at the planning stage still)I even enlisted for university again to finish my masters degree while working full time.
I'm not quite over my depression yet. I doubt I'll ever get rid of it entirely, but I found strength to fight it. And compared to how bleak my life looked last year, I can't believe how my life turned around. I am in the best physical shape I've ever been in, I'm going to marry my wonderful fiancé, and I am eager to make something out of myself. Last year, this level of activity and social interaction would've been simply impossible.
Tl:dr Was depressed, got job, lost weight, got in shape, now engaged, and looking forward to life while turning 30.
I just felt like I needed to share this with GAF as I've enjoyed being part of this community, even though I don't interact much. To those of you that find yourself in a similar slump: Don't give up, there is too much life out there to enjoy. And despite what you might believe, you can't know what life holds for you in the future. All I can tell you is that it's worth looking forward to.
I suffered from severe depression for the last few years. I was always a bit depressed for all my teens and early 20s, but at about 26 it turned into full blown, debilitating depression. I couldn't move forward, couldn't muster the energy to spend time with friends and gained a lot of weight. Last year I weighed at 95kg, I was bloated and pale. My job applications went nowhere and I started to become fatalistic and bitter.
I saw my best friends move forward in their life, get married, advance in their careers, get kids, and to my shock I started getting envious of them. I hated myself for that. I wanted them to be happy and wanted to be happy for them, but there was this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that kept spoiling these great moments for me.
I also hated my body. Flabby, bloated and I felt like there's no way I could be attractive to my Girlfriend.
Long story short. I lost all self respect and I was pretty close to giving up for good.
My GF helped me to snap out of this cycle of self loathing and lethargy by giving me an ultimatum. The prospect of losing her at the very least put me on track to get out of the house again, become socially active and tried to get in shape.
Soon after, I got a job. It wasn't what I wanted for myself. The pay isn't worth mentioning (but I can sustain myself at least). But through the hard physical work and good colleagues I learned to at the very least respect myself again. Since then I lost about 13kg, built up a lot of stamina, and actually feel pretty good about my physical well being. I proposed to my GF and we're engaged, set to marry next year in July. I also am formulating plans with a good friend of mine to start up a business in a few years. (we're at the planning stage still)I even enlisted for university again to finish my masters degree while working full time.
I'm not quite over my depression yet. I doubt I'll ever get rid of it entirely, but I found strength to fight it. And compared to how bleak my life looked last year, I can't believe how my life turned around. I am in the best physical shape I've ever been in, I'm going to marry my wonderful fiancé, and I am eager to make something out of myself. Last year, this level of activity and social interaction would've been simply impossible.
Tl:dr Was depressed, got job, lost weight, got in shape, now engaged, and looking forward to life while turning 30.
I just felt like I needed to share this with GAF as I've enjoyed being part of this community, even though I don't interact much. To those of you that find yourself in a similar slump: Don't give up, there is too much life out there to enjoy. And despite what you might believe, you can't know what life holds for you in the future. All I can tell you is that it's worth looking forward to.
