From "genius" to "normal", what happened to me?

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FuuRe

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This is my very first thread on GAF, be wary of my non native english and poor choice of correct words to express myself.

During my first years of life i was kinda advanced in terms of learning phases, i learned to read (and fluently) when i was three and before turning 4 i learned to write, i even read a speech for my kindergarten graduation and knew a lot of english words, terms and phrases (Thanks ATARI Basic).

My free time was mostly reading and learning, i didn't like very much to go outside and ride bikes like everyone else, i was happy with my Atari, books, and CNN (Yeah, the news network). I don't think i was autistic since i could spend the entire day playing with my cousins or close friends and i was really in sync with the kids trends of the time like TMNT,nintendo, pizza and whatever else.

I was rejected from several schools after kindergarden because i was deemed "too advanced" and counselors suggested my parents i would be better in a special school for advanced kids.

My mother wanted me to have a normal life, yeah, the one with debts and beer and wrong choices, and i don't hate her for that decision. After i entered a "normal" school i had the highest grades of my class for four straight years.

Then it started

I started to lose interest in studying, for three years i managed to be at least top 3 of my class without making a lot of effort to achieve it but i knew i wasn't who i was before.

Then it really happened

I was 12, and i remember shutting down studies completely, i still was smart, but girls and videogames were a lot more interesting to me, i lost all my abilities to absorb knowledge easily and became a "normal" kid, a normal fat kid bad at sports without any major or minor goal to fulfill.

And it has been like that to this day, graduated from HS with average grades, couldn't get into the top tier colleges in my country, dropped college, became a father (2 more weeks for my second baby girl) and here i am trying to regain my life. And in one of my recurrent "what if" sessions it came to me that maybe there's something wrong inside me, something that made me lose a big part of who i was and wanted to be.

And maybe that "something" can be fixed with... i dunno, sports, medicines...

What happened to me? Hopefully someone can guide or enlighten me.
 
Although I'm not an expert I'm pretty sure that kids progress at different rates and being way ahead at age 7 doesn't guarantee that you'll still be way ahead by age 20.
 
Could be that people were coddling you. Reality is you're not a special snowflake, pal.

Unless you're 7'+ or have a muscle grade of A or above, of course. That takes work.
 
a genius does not get average high school grades or drop out of college im sorry

ive had a 3.6 gpa and i would never call myself a genius

you had a strong start thats all
 
Vince McMahon said:
Could be that people were coddling you. Reality is you're not a special snowflake, pal.

Unless you're 7'+ or have a muscle grade of A or above, of course. That takes work.
Click to expand...

And you can't teach that!

OP: You grew up. It's cool.

vogelkacke said:
a genius does not get average high school grades or drop out of college im sorry
Click to expand...

Sure they do. They either get bored or think the work is beneath them and don't do it. It can totally happen.
 
Sounds like you lost motivation. Plus I could be wrong, but a lot of kids probably can't read and write at 3-4 years because no one tried to properly teach them, since that's what schools are for. Otherwise you end up in scenarios like yours where schools don't even want to take you.
 
It just sounds like you lost your motivation to improve yourself. It doesn't mean you got stupider, not in the way you're thinking anyway.
 
You weren't challenged enough and were therefore conditioned that just "meeting" the requirements was all you needed to do. In that sense, you were set up for failure.

A child/young adult needs to be constantly challenged to pursue further knowledge/curiosity. It is an abstract skill that will carry with you post academia. Without that scaffold of challenging yourself you end up complacent or "lost."
 
If you truly are smart, look forward to a lifetime of looking over your shoulder because you'll decide that you're smarter than your superiors at work and start embezzling money and coming up with creative ways to amuse yourself to the company's loss.

I've been there, it's not fun.
 
For me it was videogames. They started encroaching on time I would actually spend learning useful things.

I started speaking really early on as a child. I didn't play video games as often before the start of middle school, and even during the early years of middle school. Back then I was way advanced in my writing ability (so much so that teachers would read it out to students at the top of middle school as an example). I floundered through late high school, stumbled pathetically though my A Level qualifications, and took a break before returning to University (where I am now). I think it's a combination of things getting harder (and requiring more effort, from even 'smart' high IQ people), and me getting more apathetic.

But yeah, OP, I feel your pain. I don't think I have it in me anymore.

Edit:
I don't think I'm a genius, by any means. Just FYI.
 
They let me take an IQ-test when I was six because I was ahead of the class in reading and math, I was allowed to skip a year but I didn't.

Got awesome grades until I was 15 and then I just got average. Probably because I'm terrible at studying or putting in work for school.
 
Seems like you were a little a head of the curve at the start but nothing near "genius" level, maybe a little above average. Now it sounds like your looking for an excuse.
 
vogelkacke said:
a genius does not get average high school grades or drop out of college im sorry
Click to expand...
Er, there was a kid in my class that I would consider a genius, but he was incredibly lazy.

In fact I think it's more common to have geniuses that don't get perfect grades because of how bored they get.

Completely anecdotal of course.
 
I bet since you didn't go to a special school and you got the normal treatment, everything was too easy and you stopped caring. It happens if you aren't challenged/stimulated. Or puberty happened. Or you just had a different rate of development. Could be a lot of things, really.
 
vogelkacke said:
a genius does not get average high school grades or drop out of college im sorry

ive had a 3.6 gpa and i would never call myself a genius

you had a strong start thats all
Click to expand...

"Genius" is a vague and malleable term but there is no shortage of people who fit the broad definition and did poorly in school or dropped out. It's practically a cliche.

That said, it does sound like OP just developed quickly. I was also scary-smart as a little kid and "evened out" a bit as I got older, although I always did well in school.

(Coincidentally I was also an Atari BASIC whiz at 6 or 7. Weird.)
 
A strong start doesn't mean you will be ahead of your peers in the end. Getting there faster doesn't mean anything if you don't do something with it. Doesn't sound like you want to be a genius either, just to be successful in life. That's just a matter of how well you work with the system given to you. Many of the people that you consider a genius were those that worked extremely hard in their particular field.
 
Most precocious kids normalize as they get older. For every video you see of a five year old playing Rachmaninoff, there's a video of the same kid at sixteen, being normal as anything.
 
besada said:
Most precocious kids normalize as they get older. For every video you see of a five year old playing Rachmaninoff, there's a video of the same kid at sixteen, being normal as anything.
Click to expand...

And truth be told, I don't really see this as a bad thing anymore. Kids should be able to have a normal childhood, in my opinion. Let them even out and do what they want as adults.
 
Haha. Genius might have been a bit of an exaggeration it seems.

I remember my parents telling me (and anyone who would listen), what a genius I was when I was younger. Reading by 18 months, talking by 12 months, straight A's throughout elementary, and honor roll in high school...blah blah blah. People tell you what they think you need to hear in order for you to excel, at some point though, you just have to believe in yourself because other people's praise really doesn't take you very far in the real world.
 
Reminds me of myself, I skated through high school and the first year of uni like an Olympic figure skater, then in my second year, I tried to give it no effort and my marks dropped like crazy. I failed a semester or two there, but caught myself and recovered before I went too far down the apathy hole.

I'm a classic underachiever, I start stuff, stop caring and stop often, I cant care about furthering my academic and professional life though as long as I am able to live a modest and happy life. I spend my time sketching, reading books, learning about cultures and languages instead.
 
All kids start off inquisitive. They're sponges for information and always want to learn more. Sometime during their development, they realize that there is way more knowledge than they could ever learn, and they stop caring.

Kid: I don't know this word. What does it mean? I want to find out.
Teen: I don't know this word. Whatever. I don't know a lot of words. No way I could ever learn all of them.

As a kid you may be "advanced" because you're naturally smart. As you get older, what's more important is a good work ethic, and a continued desire to learn, which you lacked.

Part of this can be attributed to the school system. Because they have to cater to every child, they'll tend to teach towards the middle and bore the advanced kids, thus associating "learning" with "boredom."

Most "child prodigies" end up disappointing as they get older. It happens all the time.
 
My cousin was normal until he was like 11 - 12, but then he started testing at genius levels. He ended up going to schools more suited for him and he now has his PhD.
 
As long as you're happy it doesn't matter. You just didn't want to try as much as you did previously and honestly, that's fine.

Also, there are many types of intelligence so calling yourself a genius may not have been in relevant studies while you were younger or perhaps you found yourself too smart and wanted to be more normal? It's hard to guess which honestly, but you shouldn't worry about what-if's.
 
danwarb said:
I blame a virus that had me hallucinate smooth colour sound textures for stunting my development.
Click to expand...

KBFgWDn.gif
 
Guys, i never considered mysefl a genius, hence the quotes.

But i sure was above average compared to my classmates.

I figured a long time ago i'm not a genius, but since i was 12 i don't seem to have significant goals, i lost who i was not in terms of IQ, but on task focus, meaningful goals and achievements.

I lost the ability to support myself academically, that says a lot of who you are and what you can accomplish.

I'm still doing things, planning stuff and trying to get back to college, i just wanted to know if that transition was normal or could be triggered from another thing like a biochemical unbalance on the brain or something else.

I'm grateful of all the on topic responses.
 
pants said:
Reminds me of myself, I skated through high school and the first year of uni like an Olympic figure skater, then in my second year, I tried to give it no effort and my marks dropped like crazy. I failed a semester or two there, but caught myself and recovered before I went too far down the apathy hole.

I'm a classic underachiever, I start stuff, stop caring and stop often, I cant care about furthering my academic and professional life though as long as I am able to live a modest and happy life. I spend my time sketching, reading books, learning about cultures and languages instead.
Click to expand...

Sounds like a win to me.
 
Goldenroad said:
Haha. Genius might have been a bit of an exaggeration it seems.

I remember my parents telling me (and anyone who would listen), what a genius I was when I was younger. Reading by 18 months, talking by 12 months, straight A's throughout elementary, and honor roll in high school...blah blah blah. People tell you what they think you need to hear in order for you to excel, at some point though, you just have to believe in yourself because other people's praise really doesn't take you very far in the real world.
Click to expand...

As a sidenote, I remember a research related to this phenomenon. They had two cohorts of kids: one cohort was praised for how smart they are. The other was praised for how much effort they put in.

Then they had the two groups work on a puzzle. More kids in second group were able to solve the puzzle successfully. The reason? Those kids, on average, tried to solve the puzzle for a longer period of time before giving up. The first group, praised for their intelligence, expected to get the puzzle naturally since they were naturally smart, so when they didn't, they gave up. The second group kept working on the puzzle because they were praised for being hard workers.

The second group are also more open to trying out new problems and taking more risks, whereas the first group shyed away from such activities, fearing that others' assessment of their intelligence would be proven wrong.

There's quite a bit of research that suggests the deleterious effects of praising kids on "being smart."
 
Hard to say. You don't make it sound like being normal is completely horrible, but rather that you just want more. I don't have good advice for being productive or hard working or setting goals. I'm weak in those areas myself. Personally I feel like being advanced-ish (not as much as you though) as a kid has generally set higher expectations for myself. Most of the time that's made me do well, but laziness is really catching up with me. And it's all that much more disappointing sometimes, because by default I expect myself to be the best or close to it. The conditioning from school is still there.

I don't know anything useful to say really. Find something you really enjoy, and push yourself to get better and better at it? Go back to school if you can afford it maybe. Either way, hoping you have good results with whatever you can figure out.
backslashbunny said:
It's possible you have ADD.

It's also possible you just developed a little earlier than your peers, but now they've all caught up.

I wouldn't be so quick to blame something "going wrong," though.
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A friend of mine had a similar story, and he had ADD. Not to say that means anything, but it might be worth checking for. He was really smart (+ good at sports), then got lazy and did bare minimum in HS and dropped out of community college after a few semesters.

Edit:
FuuRe said:
I'm still doing things, planning stuff and trying to get back to college, i just wanted to know if that transition was normal or could be triggered from another thing like a biochemical unbalance on the brain or something else.
Click to expand...
Well, I can't speak much to what's normal, but I can say that I had the same transition. It didn't kick in until late college/work life, but I feel like I'm a lot less achieving and motivated these days. I'd expect it's normal.
 
FuuRe said:
This is my very first thread on GAF, be wary of my non native english and poor choice of correct words to express myself.

During my first years of life i was kinda advanced in terms of learning phases, i learned to read (and fluently) when i was three and before turning 4 i learned to write, i even read a speech for my kindergarten graduation and knew a lot of english words, terms and phrases (Thanks ATARI Basic).

My free time was mostly reading and learning, i didn't like very much to go outside and ride bikes like everyone else, i was happy with my Atari, books, and CNN (Yeah, the news network). I don't think i was autistic since i could spend the entire day playing with my cousins or close friends and i was really in sync with the kids trends of the time like TMNT,nintendo, pizza and whatever else.

I was rejected from several schools after kindergarden because i was deemed "too advanced" and counselors suggested my parents i would be better in a special school for advanced kids.

My mother wanted me to have a normal life, yeah, the one with debts and beer and wrong choices, and i don't hate her for that decision. After i entered a "normal" school i had the highest grades of my class for four straight years.

Then it started

I started to lose interest in studying, for three years i managed to be at least top 3 of my class without making a lot of effort to achieve it but i knew i wasn't who i was before.

Then it really happened

I was 12, and i remember shutting down studies completely, i still was smart, but girls and videogames were a lot more interesting to me, i lost all my abilities to absorb knowledge easily and became a "normal" kid, a normal fat kid bad at sports without any major or minor goal to fulfill.

And it has been like that to this day, graduated from HS with average grades, couldn't get into the top tier colleges in my country, dropped college, became a father (2 more weeks for my second baby girl) and here i am trying to regain my life. And in one of my recurrent "what if" sessions it came to me that maybe there's something wrong inside me, something that made me lose a big part of who i was and wanted to be.

And maybe that "something" can be fixed with... i dunno, sports, medicines...

What happened to me? Hopefully someone can guide or enlighten me.
Click to expand...

Hard work is a far better indicator of success than intelligence. There have been some interesting studies that show that if you praise a child for being smart he will do worse than if he is praised for his hard work. The child who is smart believes that he is smart and then believes that he doesnt need to study anymore and gives up easily when things are too hard for him because he believes he shouldnt have to work hard since he is so smart. The child who is praised for his hard work will continue to work hard since it has been ingrained in his head that intelligence can be constantly improved and learning is a culmulative process.

Basically, you need to actually do some work. No matter how intelligent someone is, they arent going to be successful if they put no effort into what they are doing.
 
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