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[XANDER CAGE]

a FEMALE

FEMALE HUMANOID DISCOVERED MASSAGING EROGENOUS ZONE

 

[Zombine]

Yeah, the thing is, I'm not really too bothered by how I am aside from the fact that it's such a difference in my relationship. If she had a low sex drive as well though, I would be just fine with that.

She seems to be willing to work through it with you which is wonderful. Just do what's right for you. I would absolutely look into balancing your levels though. It can affect your mood as well.

 

["D"]

I'm getting second hand embarrassment just reading this. Note to self always knock on doors.

Agreed. I have no idea what I would have done if I caught my sister. She's an adult with a kid now so I safely made it past that "phase of life" unscathed

 

[Deleted member 13876]

Can someone draw me a female?

 

[B_Spooky13]

My fiance yells at me if she finds porn the computer..

I look through her phone.. I find porn.. Son of a...

 

[HiiiLife]

Out.

 

[LoveCake]

[QUOTE="D";135988297]After laughing my ass off at this thread the other day.... http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=919165 ......I began to wonder. Do females do it too? Has anyone ever caught one? What type of poke' ball did you use? (bonus points for catching a hot chick at that) Does this even exist in real life? Did the cow REALLY jump over the moon?

[/QUOTE]

A poke' ball! am i missing something?

 

[bananafactory]

Not masturbating but I did catch my wife screwing a guy on her brand new bed.

I said I'd help her build it but she said she could handle it herself, should have been suspicious

 

["D"]

Not masturbating but I did catch my wife screwing a guy on her brand new bed.

I said I'd help her build it but she said she could handle it herself, should have been suspicious

Well.....damn.

 

[terrisus]

Not masturbating but I did catch my wife screwing a guy on her brand new bed.

I said I'd help her build it but she said she could handle it herself, should have been suspicious

iunderstoodthatreference.gif

 

["D"]

What is a poke' ball ?

Couldn't remember how to properly accent the word on my keyboard.

 

[Gamerloid]

Not masturbating but I did catch my wife screwing a guy on her brand new bed.

I said I'd help her build it but she said she could handle it herself, should have been suspicious

Lol Well done

 

[Windam]

[QUOTE="D";135995434]Couldn't remember how to properly accent the word on my keyboard.[/QUOTE]

ALT + 0233 é

 

[terrisus]

[QUOTE="D";135995434]Couldn't remember how to properly accent the word on my keyboard.[/QUOTE]

Alt+0233

 

[Spinluck]

Can't fault OP for trying to jerk to some GAF stories.

Fall can be stressful for those that are alone.

 

["D"]

ALT + 0233 é

Thanks

 

[Jasup]

[QUOTE="D";135993766]What is the purpose of a colored dildo if they all function the same and have same sizes? I mean its not like the female is 100 focused on watching what she's stuffing herself with anyway...or is it like a mental thing just knowing the color and perhaps perceived "race" associated with it and using their imagination?[/QUOTE]

I guess just liking the colour (or that dildo in general) isn't a proper answer?

Women, how do they work?

 

["D"]

Can't fault OP for trying to jerk to some GAF stories.

Fall can be stressful for those that are alone.

Been with my lady going on 4 years in December. Not everyone jerks it to reading masturbation stories i'm afraid

 

[MrPink93485]

The only story you need was in the thread you were laughing at, OP

 

[PhineBuyM3]

When I was about 11 or 12 I was walking to the kitchen to get something to eat and my big sister was at the computer hutch looking at what I didn't know was porn at the time, she didn't hear my footsteps and to this day she never knew I caught her.

 

[MidgarBlowedUp]

[QUOTE="D";135988297]I began to wonder. Has anyone ever caught one? [/QUOTE]

There have been sightings throughout history, and circumstantial evidence from footprints, hair samples, etc. Yet, until one is captured, we wont really have definitive proof they exist.
What we do know, is they are elusive, possibly nocturnal, and intelligent enough to evade capture.

Now many skeptics are going to call me crazy, a conspiracy nut-job, or a plain old fool, but I personally believe they are real. I've seen one myself with my own eyes, it wasn't some man pretending to scare the locals either. It was real, they are real, and one day the world will know the truth.

 

[Gamerloid]

[QUOTE="D";135995818]Been with my lady going on 4 years in December. Not everyone jerks it to reading masturbation stories i'm afraid[/QUOTE]

You actually felt the need to explain yourself to such a comment? Heh...

 

[Angelus Errare]

The only story you need was in the thread you were laughing at, OP

…

 

["D"]

You actually felt the need to explain yourself to such a comment? Heh...

I sure did. Primarily cause I'm quite happy with my relationship and kinda get prideful whenever I get the opportunity to mention it lol. Forgive my narcissism

 

[ShockingAlberto]

This is either the dumbest fucking thread or the creepiest fucking thread.

 

[santi_yo]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utTNGDlUWJU

EDIT: Beaten.

 

[Angelus Errare]

This is either the dumbest fucking thread or the creepiest fucking thread.

I vote for both.

This really seems like a thread Elliot Rodgers would have made.

 

[biosnake20]

 

[Valhelm]

[QUOTE="D";135988297]After laughing my ass off at this thread the other day.... http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=919165 ......I began to wonder. Do females do it too? Has anyone ever caught one? What type of poke' ball did you use? (bonus points for catching a hot chick at that) Does this even exist in real life? Did the cow REALLY jump over the moon?

GAF, bless us with your stories

EDIT: Apparently some folks don't know how to read. I know females masterbate. I'm asking if anyone has ever CAUGHT one in similar fashion to US MALES masterbating and any accompanying stories to share. Jesus.

OH, and I don't mean family members.[/QUOTE]

If you want to know more about women, a good start is to stop referring to them as "females".

 

["D"]

This is either the dumbest fucking thread or the creepiest fucking thread.

Probably both.

 

[……forgetit]

Oh shit, can't believe I already posted and forgot to tell the story of what happened to me when I was thirteen.

I'm at school, in this class called 'Citizenship' which to this day I've no idea what was about. So everyone, including me, is writing down notes in their jotters and the class is silent. I'm writing and I notice this terrible smell. I look round and sure enough, the girl next to me is using one hand to hold her trousers forward, and is using the other to masturbate. Right next to me, in class. At thirteen years old. This was the first time I had ever seen anything like it in real life of course, being that age, so I didn't really know how to react.

I subtly got my friends attention from across the room and pointed to her until he too figured it out. He then went on to tell pretty much the whole class and a large number of us watched her in disbelief... until she caught on and stopped. I can't remember if the teacher ever knew. I'm not sure what she would or could have done even if she did know.

She was even sitting the isle seat, not against the wall. Dunno how she was that brave to even do it.

I just imagined the whole class like this...

 

[zoukka]

OP have you ever been in contact with FEMALES?

 

["D"]

This is either the dumbest fucking thread or the creepiest fucking thread.

I vote for both.

This really seems like a thread Elliot Rodgers would have made.

Glad you guys could post your disapproval.

 

[Windam]

This never happened.

 

["D"]

OP have you ever been in contact with FEMALES?

Why? Don't tell me you've actually came across one yourself??

 

[collige]

I think there is only one real concrete way to find out if this can happen:

1) Buy a net from Bass Pro Shop or your favorite game hunting store.

2) Buy a cheap laptop at Walmart or use your own if you are willing to lose it in a potentially hectic situation.

3) Drive or take the bus to your local library and set it up to your favorite porn site and leave it on an empty table

4) Here is the part that may take some time. If women do masturbate, they likely won't do it unless they think they are alone, so be prepared to wait. You must hide behind a book case where she can't see you, and make sure you have the net secure so your position isn't compromised.

5) Once you find a woman willing to take the bait, wait for her to begin the act. You must be completely certain she is masturbating, or you have no real concrete proof she does it. I would wait until she gets into it

6) Once you are sure the action has taken place, now is the time to strike. Run at her as fast as you can and throw the net.

7) You just caught a girl masterbating.

I guess you could call this plan...






a master masterbate bait

 

[Sub_Level]

I'm getting second hand embarrassment just reading this. Note to self always knock on doors.

Except she was looking at it in the dining room! I always knock.

 

[Gamerloid]

[QUOTE="D";135997660]Glad you guys could post your disapproval.[/QUOTE]

But you agreed with them...

 

[HGStormy]

What kind of stupid question is that? Of course it's awkward. Does anyone expect the "FEMALE" to fuck you if you catch them masturbating?

I think OP has watched too many pornos.

 

[ishibear]

Given he was 13 (and likely she was too), I'd reconsider this image bruh

 

[bud]

there are plenty of videos out there of women getting busted while being naked on cam.

 

[Windam]

Given he was 13 (and likely she was too), I'd reconsider this image bruh

Oh fuck.

 

["D"]

But you agreed with them...

Sarcasm. How does it work?

 

[Randam]

Alt+0233

what does that mean?
press alt and then 0, 2, 3, 3 on the numpad?



and was OPs brother here even jerking of: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=919165

 

[Mistel]

Well this is weird and pretty creepy honestly.

 

[Sub_Level]

what does that mean?
press alt and then 0, 2, 3, 3 on the numpad?

ß

Yes

 

[Gamerloid]

[QUOTE="D";135998416]Sarcasm. How does it work?[/QUOTE]

That was sarcasm? Hard to tell since there was truth in the post >.>

 

[terrisus]

what does that mean?
press alt and then 0, 2, 3, 3 on the numpad?

While holding the Alt key, press the following keys, individually, in order, on the numberpad, and then release the Alt key: 0, 2, 3, 3

ß

Yes

That's 0223

 

[Chunky]

Whenever I read someone referring to girls and women as FEMALES (outside of a medical context) I immediately get creeped out. In this case it was appropriate, but is this just more of an american way of talking that I don't get or what?

 

[terrisus]

I guess you could call this plan...






a master masterbate bait