I'm Adam Boyes, and that's not even my final form. But are our forms ever final, until we die? *Brief contemplative pause*
There's been a lot of chatter and excitement - I've even seen a hypetrain or two on the way here today. People want to believe. But what do we need to believe in?
Video games are a neat hobby, but we must recognize that there is a myriad of beefy problems in our world today. Deadly diseases spread. A plethora of violence plagues our species.
Today is not a time for shenanigans. No. There are no announcements. There is no celebration. Today, we're gathered for an intervention. Today we think about those less fortunate than us.
Some of you may be legitimately shocked to hear this, but this is not the Playstation Experience. Welcome to the first annual Playstation Fundraiser for the Impoverished. We must not let places like Africa slip further and further into dystopian hellscapes. In these places, the hunger - the thirst is real.
We've heard you, we've worked hard, tirelessly, into the late nights, working through the late nights, coding away, writing poems and bringing to you the games YOU really want. But life - like the Playstation Vita - isn't always about the games. Please stand and join me for a song. Open your pamphlets to page 3.