My condolences. I didn't realize. If you want someone to chat with in irc, let me know over PM? I know you've been coping with so much and how this must be another slap to the face when you're already numb. I hope you all get treatment/help and find ways to live and cope that enrich your life. You're boss at piano, jb. Your playing inspires me to get back to learning it myself.
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
- Status
My condolences. I didn't realize. If you want someone to chat with in irc, let me know over PM? I know you've been coping with so much and how this must be another slap to the face when you're already numb. I hope you all get treatment/help and find ways to live and cope that enrich your life. You're boss at piano, jb. Your playing inspires me to get back to learning it myself.
I think my life has just about ended right now. I will be kicked out of the university for failing. I really don't know how to deal with this. I have been plagued by depression and my health problems from Ulcerative Colitis for the last two years and of course my own laziness. But I had no motivation. Nothing to look forward to. I have been shaking and crying non-stop since I checked my marks this morning. There is nothing left in life for me. I have no friends and now I cannot be educated. I don't know how my parents will react to this. I can only think of ending my life.
Not everyone is made to handle University at all times. You recognize you had other ongoing issues that caused you to not be able to focus and put in the amount of time and work needed to do well and graduate. You can be educated, and you still tried. It's unfortunate it culminated in you finding this out in this way but you are still capable or looking for a job, taking some time to get in a better, healthier place with yourself and possibly working on something at the college level or online?
I say get yourself into a good schedule, get your health in check, then move forward from there. Don't beat yourself up. You're doing better in life than you think, you're just being hard on yourself because you tried to take on the task of University at a bad time for yourself and understandably didn't do well.
So my friend started on Zoloft yesterday, told me this out of the blue. She went to her regular doctor wanting something for anxiety and was given a prescription for 25mg, bumping up to 50mg in a week. No psychiatrist/therapy or anything, and it sounds like the doctor didn't fill her in on potential side effects very well. Is this common for Zoloft? Primary doctors handing out prescriptions like this?
As I understand it, GP's are allowed to prescribe antidepressants and medication for generalized anxiety (some antidepressants help with this anyway). It's a lot more common of a thing to seek out and be on than I think people realize. Not everyone who goes through rough patches needs to seek out a psychologist/therapist. These types of medications are common/safe enough that there isn't the same restrictions on them as other psych meds with more severe side effects.
I totally get that. Try looking into ways to reduce your cost of living and work you can handle. Looking after yourself and your bills for a bit will probably do you some good and you never know- you might end up in a job you like while working on these things.
Yeah, like Iph said, primary care docs are pretty comfortable prescribing SSRIs (and SNRIs) these days. They've proven useful for so many different things, they've all been so widely used, and many are available as cheap generics - it has become much more routine for non-psychiatric docs to prescribe them. Despite the potential for side effects, the drugs are considered very safe. The side effects suck, but they are reversible, they generally get better on their own, and they don't generally present serious health risks. The exception to that is pediatric patients, who can experience greatly increased suicidality. For adults, the side effects can be bad enough to make you not want to continue the medication, but they won't put you in the hospital, you know?
The other big medication choice for anxiety would be a benzodiazepine, like Xanax. And there was certainly a time when your friend probably would have left the doctor with a prescription for a benzo. But doctors have become really wary of using those medications as much because they are so fantastically addictive. They provide more acute relief anyway, whereas something like Zoloft is expected to work in the longer term. SSRIs have basically no potential for abuse, whereas benzos are some of the most abused drugs in the world, so you can kind of see why prescribing habits have shifted.
Psychiatrists and therapists are expensive and in limited supply, so having a GP try you on an SSRI/SNRI initially is seen as a more economical choice. For uncomplicated cases of anxiety, a psychiatrist would probably start you on the same medication anyway, so it's not exactly cost-cutting trumping good treatment decisions.
Now getting access to therapy...that's basically a mess everywhere and I don't think anyone is happy with the current situation.
True dat. This is why I hang out with and talk to people who are capable of functioning well without psychiatry, therapy or meaningful health care access. So I can better learn how to deal with the bad, appreciate the good, take care of myself and live.
"Broloft"
I've been hospitalized twice and it was quite helpful. The quality of inpatient programs can vary wildly though, so it doesn't help to do some research into where around you there's a good option for treatment. In my case I was in good places (in two very different areas of the country) and both times they helped redirect or "recalibrate" my treatment and my thinking about what was going on. Sometimes it really helps to have a fresh set of eyes look at the situation and give their assessment.
Plus there's something very therapeutic about being surrounded by others with the same struggles and speaking with them as you all work to get better.
I'm curious what area of the country you're in as, like I said, resources vary wildly, but that's probably too personal for GAF. PM me if you have any questions or if there's any way I can help! SAWAP.
You're like a Christmas ham, dammit
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
what is your diet? And did your doctor go over any blood results with you?
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
Is there cheese on that?
I'm young enough to not understand why I feel this fatigue and disinterested weaknesss.
For the last 10 years, following a mild autism diagnosis, I have become increasingly aware of my lack of place, weird idiosyncracies, and inability to pursue relationships.
At the moment life seems so painful, like every instant is a palpable frustration, and it's hard to find inspiration as the only success I can achieve seems at odds with the way I am inherently.
I know I'm a loser, I find too much beauty in simple things that others don't understand.
That's not a condemnation of others, it's just an explanation I can offer for myself.
Every thought is either why aren't I doing more or how can I not feel alone.
A day ago I felt comfortable beinng alone, now I have desire again.I'm going to try forgetting my desire to create or do something
and hope I'll recover some energy in doing so, after all, what is good and right is just a modern perspective, an artificial concept.
I feel strong enough to keep trying against this immmense pain.
For the last 10 years, following a mild autism diagnosis, I have become increasingly aware of my lack of place, weird idiosyncracies, and inability to pursue relationships.
At the moment life seems so painful, like every instant is a palpable frustration, and it's hard to find inspiration as the only success I can achieve seems at odds with the way I am inherently.
I know I'm a loser, I find too much beauty in simple things that others don't understand.
That's not a condemnation of others, it's just an explanation I can offer for myself.
Every thought is either why aren't I doing more or how can I not feel alone.
A day ago I felt comfortable beinng alone, now I have desire again.I'm going to try forgetting my desire to create or do something
and hope I'll recover some energy in doing so, after all, what is good and right is just a modern perspective, an artificial concept.
I feel strong enough to keep trying against this immmense pain.
Blackquill
Member
It's reassuring ! Thanks for your informations, I think I should be fine in the area I live !
Unreal Champ
Banned
I've been depressed for the past few months or at least I've come to the realization that I'm depressed. I felt like taking my life today but my child walked in. I stopped myself because I don't want my kid to grow up think their dad was a coward but I'm not sure if it took away the feeling of not wanting to live anymore. For the first time in my life, I'm scared of living. Sometimes I would just cry for no apparent reason and I live in constant fear of getting a call telling me a family member has passed away.
I think I'm feeling this way because last year I lost my brother in law due to throat cancer and it hit me hard. I haven't been the same since but I think I've been fooling myself into thinking I was ok when in reality I wasn't.
I think I'm feeling this way because last year I lost my brother in law due to throat cancer and it hit me hard. I haven't been the same since but I think I've been fooling myself into thinking I was ok when in reality I wasn't.
Various Artists
Banned
You should find omeone to talk to. That could really help you out.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
This video has helped a lot me a lot. Duncan Trussell is fantastic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf0-tsvyrnM
cant wait soon ill be visiting my homophobic racist family and i get to endure yet another year of them wondering if im gay or not should be fun i want to fucking kill everything.
and no im not gay but you know i guess people wonder why they never seen a 30 yr guy with a girl and cant really comprehend it. my greatest achievement is life was getting my homo hating uncle to admit to me it was ok to be gay he would love me anyway that was funny lol
sadceph2001
Member
this feeling of rejection will never stop hurting. fuck, i hate myself.
I don't know why but I feel like giving up.
I'm in a relationship with no chance of making it work and it makes angry.
But if I kick out my girlfriend then I'll be all alone. No childhood or old friends. No network. I'm not ready for school and have no work.
I'm literally going to a center for preparation 2 days a week which brings me money for all of my bills.
But I'm not sure I can handle everything myself. Just moved into my own apartment and I know I will feel all alone in this 42m2 one room apartment.
I'm taking medicine and I meet with a special advisor every week but these last couple of weeks I have especially felt hopeless. Also because my anxiety will probably never go away.
Life is not much fun for me at the moment. I'm just afraid to be alone.
I'm in a relationship with no chance of making it work and it makes angry.
But if I kick out my girlfriend then I'll be all alone. No childhood or old friends. No network. I'm not ready for school and have no work.
I'm literally going to a center for preparation 2 days a week which brings me money for all of my bills.
But I'm not sure I can handle everything myself. Just moved into my own apartment and I know I will feel all alone in this 42m2 one room apartment.
I'm taking medicine and I meet with a special advisor every week but these last couple of weeks I have especially felt hopeless. Also because my anxiety will probably never go away.
Life is not much fun for me at the moment. I'm just afraid to be alone.
User 479360
Banned
My sleep is all fucked up. Perhaps it's worry over my family member, or anxiety in general. I don't know.
I drank on Saturday, and figured I'd get lots of sleep after given that I hadn't been sleeping well, but I passed out at 11pm and woke up at 3. I couldn't sleep after that, and just watched movies until 8am and finally got back to sleep at 10am or so.
I sleep for about 12 hours at a time, sometimes more, but I'm up almost every hour or two. I toss, turn, pet my cat for a bit, then eventually pass out. Then I'm up again.
I drank on Saturday, and figured I'd get lots of sleep after given that I hadn't been sleeping well, but I passed out at 11pm and woke up at 3. I couldn't sleep after that, and just watched movies until 8am and finally got back to sleep at 10am or so.
I sleep for about 12 hours at a time, sometimes more, but I'm up almost every hour or two. I toss, turn, pet my cat for a bit, then eventually pass out. Then I'm up again.
Polydeuces
Member
I only managed to see one final mark from the 3 courses i just took. I got a 60 which is fine but im more worried about my other two which are core classes. I mentioned before one class that everyone said they failed and apparently the prof had revised a final exam that was for the enriched students but made it "easier". I couldnt fully answer any question on that final and failure is almost certain. Having to retake the class is going to be a pain. Same goes for the other class.
I tried to play video games to get my mind off it but it lingers throughout the day. Like death visiting me every hour or so to make me not sleep well everyday.
I tried to play video games to get my mind off it but it lingers throughout the day. Like death visiting me every hour or so to make me not sleep well everyday.
bronkonagurski
Member
I'm 38 and single and long ago, I have grown tired of some variation of this theme. Not that I've ever been accused of being gay, but the whole 'seeing anyone???' and then feeling pressured that I should be doing so. In reality, I've had some brief relationships here and there. Never advertised them much. I'm comfortable with doing my own thing. I've known so many people who are incredibly insecure if they are not in a relationship. I also know plenty of people who have been divorced multiple times and/or continue in unhealthy relationships. I'm not saying I'm better than them, I'm f'd up in my own ways. But there is no magic formula for happiness. I'm content with learning to accept myself before I start worrying about a companion.
its sad though cause i really do want to connect with someone, but im basically just incapable. Ive seen guys achieve more in 10 minutes than i have my entire life. I just don't have the stuff. So im stuck defending a position i dont want to defend. But i dont really defend it, i mean i have let people i know be aware of my desperation, its just nobody gives a shit, since i dont have the stuff that could inspire friendship. Its why ill be dead soon i think.
I'm not gonna lie I fell complete curse. I am truly awe on why I can't get a girlfriend and get into a relationship, it's like everytime I find someone that seems like we hit it off they show disinterested and ignore me. I had a girl who was obsessed with me and when I gave them the chance to meet up she would make excuses
Now I don't even hear from her she doesn't even like my pics on FB anymore, it's stupid.
I have tried online like tinder and ok Cupid, I get ignored or deleted. Like what's the point of matching up with me or liking my profile if you won't even pursue or talk to me. I have giving up I go into my bed and feel so empty and restless I think my heart cries out when I think of how my ex gf has gotten bfs right after me, and no I don't think she is a slut because everyone else seems to get in relationships quick, esxcept me.
I have spent 25 years alone and learning who Iam don't need to spend anymore of it by myself , it's time to spend it with other, but alas that's not my life it seems. I know for a fact I'm not ugly or anyone thinks so. Also I like to add that I get gay men give more attention than women, and I'm sorry but it makes me so angry because im not gay I want a lady to check me out. I don't know how long I can endure this.
Now I don't even hear from her she doesn't even like my pics on FB anymore, it's stupid.
I have tried online like tinder and ok Cupid, I get ignored or deleted. Like what's the point of matching up with me or liking my profile if you won't even pursue or talk to me. I have giving up I go into my bed and feel so empty and restless I think my heart cries out when I think of how my ex gf has gotten bfs right after me, and no I don't think she is a slut because everyone else seems to get in relationships quick, esxcept me.
I have spent 25 years alone and learning who Iam don't need to spend anymore of it by myself , it's time to spend it with other, but alas that's not my life it seems. I know for a fact I'm not ugly or anyone thinks so. Also I like to add that I get gay men give more attention than women, and I'm sorry but it makes me so angry because im not gay I want a lady to check me out. I don't know how long I can endure this.
sadceph2001
Member
are you me?
rrvv
Member
Having Headache feeling weak in general. absolutely have no motivation to study.. And living. Feel like nobody care about me. Not even my parents even thought i already talk to them. They never understand me. They just think depression is small issue and I simply have to forget it.
Feel like my friend avoiding me. Ever since an accident. I don't trust anyone. Not even my self. Feel like if I die nobody going to miss me.
Maybe I should kill myself
Feel like my friend avoiding me. Ever since an accident. I don't trust anyone. Not even my self. Feel like if I die nobody going to miss me.
Maybe I should kill myself
I'm really sorry to hear this. If you are still having these thoughts, please consider calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Please also consider going to your local emergency room, calling your local community mental health provider, or calling your doctor's office. You may also want to consider checking out this thread's chat room, details for which are in the OP; in addition to the thread itself, the chat room can be a great community resource and sounding board for talking about what's on your mind. Please remember that suicide is a permanent solution to what can be a temporary problem. It is possible for things to get better. Please seek help if you need it, and remember we all care about you here.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
We have to be happy with ourselves. We have to be fulfilled with ourselves and accept ourselves. Love will not swing our way unless we get better at this. It is really difficult. It's hard not to be lonely when you feel out of sync.
From what I've observed, most happy people are surrounded by friends. One has to be careful with this saying, because some people are naturally lone-wolfs, and are stigmatized by people thinking they are unhappy just because they choose to be alone. That's why I say most. Most of us feel that life give us meaning when we bond with others.
But when we get into this idea that we need someone else to feel happy. That's when it gets bad. We have to get happy with ourselves first. Another person can make you happier, but they mostly cannot connect or be with you if you are not strong in your own being. Please don't go down this road. It's easy to think that a loving girlfriend is a way to cure depression, but it ain't. Because it leads to attachment. You literally need someone else just to feel less sad. It's not a good solution.
But I understand it so well, and that's why it pains me to tell you this. Victor Frankl, father of logo therapy has written an awesome book "Search for meaning". I urge you to read it. He talks about his struggles as a prisoner in Auschwitz, and how his thinking got him to be admired by his nazi-captors.
dont think so, but just says that ppl may have the same struggle same curse. you i always thought that ppl were born under a certain aura or star which dictates what their life will be experienced like. so i feel like i got born under the unluckly star that has many hardships and if you can get over them you will be unstoppable, but unfortunate everyone will not succeed that
thanks but how does one love themselves when i have always been alone finding myself doing self love thoughts, crystal healing, meditation, trying to smile through bad times only to be yet defeated and notice the truth that i may end up alone with no kids or wife when i die, because there are many ppl who end up like that who dont choose it. btw i will check that book out and see what i may find.
rrvv
Member
I like giving up in my faith of humanity. Been talk to many people both offline and online. havent found someone that can really understand me. sometimes I simply hold my feeling sometimes i simply released since I cannot hold it anymore. At this point I just want to be emotionless.
I know I wont kill myself. to much work and nothing gain. also I a not brave enough to do it. I am just going to have this feeling forever.
Cannot find good doctor in my area. I really need some medication
Vigilant Walrus
Member
It is a possibility you will end up alone, with no wife and kids. But that does not have to be the end of the world. Lots of people are alone and are still happy. A lot of people grow old alone, because they got divorced or a spouse died or they simply didn't found anyone.
And remember - We're all going to die alone. Wanting to find someone because you don't want to be alone is not a realistic idea.
I'm not telling you to not call it what it is. I believe that when we are sad, we should be allowed to be sad. Forcing yourself to smile or think positively, is a great quality, but it's not really the thing that is going to make you happier. You're just as lost as you always where, your attitude is simply better.
I think it's about finding the things you love to do. The things that give you meaning. When you find those things, you become happier, and then the world opens up to you.
But you have to walk before you can run. And you have to crawl before you can walk. These steps cannot be skipped.
You're like a farmer trying to get the harvest, but you didn't even sow the seeds. Sow the seeds mate. Your body and your soul is your soil, and the entire world is there for you to appreciate. But your fixated on finding love, and it's not going to work out when you're like this. Your love goes from appreciation to possession, and then what? You will loose it. The tighter you try to hold onto the love when you find it, the harder you will fall when it wants to get away.
It's really difficult to find meaning. A lot of us grew up not figuring out what our purpose was, and that clouds our minds into adulthood. Life becomes about the pleasurable life - entertainment, eating, drinking, drugs, about having a good time. We don't find the higher purpose or the meaning beyond ourselves. Our institutions and cultures don't teach us that. And then through our culture, we think that finding a family is the madi gras. We feel this way, but it's not the foundation for being happy or the end goal. It's just another path, and not one that is meant for all of us.
It's not some god giving truth as much as an hypnotized idea of what the ideal happy life is, put down on you. Ego doesn't want to listen to this shit though. Mine doesn't either. I'm not comfortable with the idea either.
I think most people aren't. Most people don't want t think about being old and alone. That's because we don't see. We just have reaffirmed images from all the stories we've been told our entire lives of how things are supposed to be. Get a family, live happily ever after. Coming to terms with that is difficult, but many things in life are difficult. many obligatory things in life leads to suffering and pain, yet we must press on. It's the lot of all humans.
For most of us, I personally suspect it starts with taking off the grey-tinted-depression goggles. Our way of seeing things is not truth. There is a lack of perspective, of seeing things in a different light. There is a focus on the destination, and a childish want for reward and reassurance that things are going to be okay. It's a lot of charge and discharge.
I'm really sorry to hear it. Can you ask your PCP/primary care doctor for a referral to a different psychiatrist? Also, if you keep looking, I'm hopeful you will find someone to talk to who you feel can understand you, and that can make all the difference in the world.
thank you for your insight, you seem to have some good knowledge from personal experience.i just hope you trying your best to live by your words as i know from experience that it is much easier to give advice but harder to live by it.
otherwise post like this makes me happy to be a member on neogaf,because through these screens i have no idea what you all look like, male or female, race,height, or anything. but instead just people just like myself who are living in this cage call earth with me as well just trying to make it by.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
It is. But I think it's meditative to write down what you know. What you think. Following this thread has made my life better for sure. But it's still hard. I still digress. And fall up the wagon. All the time. And then up on it again!
User 479360
Banned
Great. Another night of falling asleep tired, just to wake up at 3-4am. This time, it was about 4am.
I tried to reset my schedule yesterday, by staying up all day. I went out, did some shopping, and bought a Monster energy drink (my first in a year and maybe my eighth energy drink ever) to try to stay awake with. However, it didn't work.
I ended up passing out at about 9pm, hoping I'd sleep for 12 hours or so, but nope.
Have a good/safe holidays, everyone
I tried to reset my schedule yesterday, by staying up all day. I went out, did some shopping, and bought a Monster energy drink (my first in a year and maybe my eighth energy drink ever) to try to stay awake with. However, it didn't work.
I ended up passing out at about 9pm, hoping I'd sleep for 12 hours or so, but nope.
Have a good/safe holidays, everyone
MisterLuffy
Member
I'm glad that I'm in my winter break. But I don't feel like or want to enjoy it since I barely do anything at home but play games and go on the internet all day. I want a job so I have a reason to feel useful and productive.
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked