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[Pachimari]

Also, I feel like I want to kick her out. I just don't know how to do it.

I think I'm super sad because I have no real friends or anyone to spend my time with. And if I kick her out then I'll be all alone here, and I just moved to my new apartment 3 months ago.

I don't know how to deal with it.

And I feel like I'm getting a little depressed. Just all alone if I go through with it.

 

[billiam]

Also, I feel like I want to kick her out. I just don't know how to do it.

I think I'm super sad because I have no real friends or anyone to spend my time with. And if I kick her out then I'll be all alone here, and I just moved to my new apartment 3 months ago.

I don't know how to deal with it.

And I feel like I'm getting a little depressed. Just all alone if I go through with it.

well, it sounds like you already have everything figured out...but you can be in a relationship with someone and have differences in just about anything, all that matters is both of you accept and deal with it. sounds like you have for 3 years but maybe you arent anymore? youre 26, so not that old but she will likely want to be getting married and have a family soon (if not now). if you dont see a future with her, you should talk with her about this. basically, you need to have a group therapy session with her. is this all going to come as a complete shock to her, or has she also been distant? (sounds like not if they were talking about marriage). do you still care about her? do you see a future with her? can you ask her to tone down the religion stuff?

as for you, you should be able to make friends irrespective of your relationship. people at school, work, social stuff? stay connected with family and older friends and get their input for the above issue too.

 

[Pachimari]

I don't have older friends. I don't go to school and I don't have work.

She want to get married because then she can get permanent stay as well.

She also want her kids to grow up with God and go to church all the time. And I don't want that for my kids.

It's just such a major block with the religion. Also that she kind of acts like a boss and want to make all the decisions, where I have to come and say stop to her all the time because I should be making decisions with her.

And she won't turn down the religion stuff and I literally hate it. AND she is moody all the time, probably because she is in a difficult situation.

 

[NateDrake]

This is sort of a date but also isn't.

So I was invited to a New Year Eve's party that is being held 600miles away by a friends' sister. She got divorced around a year ago and has been lonely. I know she has been kind of seeing a married guy in secret. I'm hesitant to attend because of a few reasons:
1) Distance/Cost as I would be renting a car and driving the entire way on Tuesday and have to pay for school tuition next week.
2) The only real reason for me to go would be to see my friend (who is also an ex-gf of mine and then have to deal with her husband - we don't get along).
3) I know she'll get mad at me if I don't go because distance makes the friendship challenging as we can never hang out or see each other, but I saw her for the first time in 4yrs a couple of months ago. Plus her sister won't have a date for NYE party. They have each bought dresses for this thing, so me saying no sort of ruins the plans.

Think I should just go, hope for the best & hopefully have fun? I'm mixed on the situation.

 

[Granadier]

Yeah, don't go to that. If she gets mad that you won't spend a crazy amount of money to drive 600 miles for a party then that's her problem.

Unless you really, really need to get laid. Then go for it.

edit: You have no control over whether their plans are ruined or not. That's in their hands.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

This is sort of a date but also isn't.

So I was invited to a New Year Eve's party that is being held 600miles away by a friends' sister. She got divorced around a year ago and has been lonely. I know she has been kind of seeing a married guy in secret. I'm hesitant to attend because of a few reasons:
1) Distance/Cost as I would be renting a car and driving the entire way on Tuesday and have to pay for school tuition next week.
2) The only real reason for me to go would be to see my friend (who is also an ex-gf of mine and then have to deal with her husband - we don't get along).
3) I know she'll get mad at me if I don't go because distance makes the friendship challenging as we can never hang out or see each other, but I saw her for the first time in 4yrs a couple of months ago. Plus her sister won't have a date for NYE party. They have each bought dresses for this thing, so me saying no sort of ruins the plans.

Think I should just go, hope for the best & hopefully have fun? I'm mixed on the situation.

I would not drive 600 miles for a New Years Party that was just a get together. That's simply absurd to me. Forget everything else, you wanna spend that large period of time driving for a simple get together?

 

[fuzzyreactor]

This is sort of a date but also isn't.

So I was invited to a New Year Eve's party that is being held 600miles away by a friends' sister. She got divorced around a year ago and has been lonely. I know she has been kind of seeing a married guy in secret. I'm hesitant to attend because of a few reasons:
1) Distance/Cost as I would be renting a car and driving the entire way on Tuesday and have to pay for school tuition next week.
2) The only real reason for me to go would be to see my friend (who is also an ex-gf of mine and then have to deal with her husband - we don't get along).
3) I know she'll get mad at me if I don't go because distance makes the friendship challenging as we can never hang out or see each other, but I saw her for the first time in 4yrs a couple of months ago. Plus her sister won't have a date for NYE party. They have each bought dresses for this thing, so me saying no sort of ruins the plans.

Think I should just go, hope for the best & hopefully have fun? I'm mixed on the situation.

600 miles?

hell no

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

This is sort of a date but also isn't.

So I was invited to a New Year Eve's party that is being held 600miles away by a friends' sister. She got divorced around a year ago and has been lonely. I know she has been kind of seeing a married guy in secret. I'm hesitant to attend because of a few reasons:
1) Distance/Cost as I would be renting a car and driving the entire way on Tuesday and have to pay for school tuition next week.
2) The only real reason for me to go would be to see my friend (who is also an ex-gf of mine and then have to deal with her husband - we don't get along).
3) I know she'll get mad at me if I don't go because distance makes the friendship challenging as we can never hang out or see each other, but I saw her for the first time in 4yrs a couple of months ago. Plus her sister won't have a date for NYE party. They have each bought dresses for this thing, so me saying no sort of ruins the plans.

Think I should just go, hope for the best & hopefully have fun? I'm mixed on the situation.

It's your fault their plans hinged on you driving 600 miles? That's insane dude. Even if they drive you both ways I wouldn't do it. That's not a friend you want if that's what throws a wrench in your friendship. You can be nice about declining but be manipulated into coming if you don't want to.

 

[Granadier]

Something tells me he's going to go anyways.

 

[Pachimari]

Man I don't know what to do with my gf. She don't even apologize for last night and is now super busy with her girlfriend.

Blah.

 

[obin_gam]

Quick question.
Went to the cinema today with a female friend.
At the counter was this really cute girl my friend happened to know.
Now, at home, I began thinking of the cuteness.

So should I ask my friend to see if this girl is available and if so up for a date, or should I go to the cinema again on another day to ask her out?

Bare in mind, I dont know when this girl is working, and have no idea if she is single or not.

 

[GK86]

Ask your friend. Don't show up to her job.

 

[TheExodu5]

So coming up on a year now with my girlfriend. She said not to buy her anything for Christmas since she said I can just buy a gift for her on Boxing Day. Still, I felt bad so I just bought a nice little silver ring with black sapphires for her. Not too expensive...just wanted to have something to give to her. It got me thinking...is a ring an appropriate gift for a girlfriend? I always assumed I could give a non-wedding ring and not have it mean anything in particular, especially since she wears a lot of rings in the first place.

 

[NeOak]

This is sort of a date but also isn't.

So I was invited to a New Year Eve's party that is being held 600miles away by a friends' sister. She got divorced around a year ago and has been lonely. I know she has been kind of seeing a married guy in secret. I'm hesitant to attend because of a few reasons:
1) Distance/Cost as I would be renting a car and driving the entire way on Tuesday and have to pay for school tuition next week.
2) The only real reason for me to go would be to see my friend (who is also an ex-gf of mine and then have to deal with her husband - we don't get along).
3) I know she'll get mad at me if I don't go because distance makes the friendship challenging as we can never hang out or see each other, but I saw her for the first time in 4yrs a couple of months ago. Plus her sister won't have a date for NYE party. They have each bought dresses for this thing, so me saying no sort of ruins the plans.

Think I should just go, hope for the best & hopefully have fun? I'm mixed on the situation.

Is it a wedding? No. Then don't. Your tuition comes first and of they can't understand, fuck them.

Do NOT go. They made plans and you are just a mean to fulfill them.

So coming up on a year now with my girlfriend. She said not to buy her anything for Christmas since she said I can just buy a gift for her on Boxing Day. Still, I felt bad so I just bought a nice little silver ring with black sapphires for her. Not too expensive...just wanted to have something to give to her. It got me thinking...is a ring an appropriate gift for a girlfriend? I always assumed I could give a non-wedding ring and not have it mean anything in particular, especially since she wears a lot of rings in the first place.

Wedding rings have a particular look. It should be fine.

 

[NateDrake]

Chatted with my friend & she doesn't expect me to attend. Her sister is a bit disappointed but was understanding.

 

[jadedm17]

So coming up on a year now with my girlfriend. She said not to buy her anything for Christmas since she said I can just buy a gift for her on Boxing Day. Still, I felt bad so I just bought a nice little silver ring with black sapphires for her. Not too expensive...just wanted to have something to give to her. It got me thinking...is a ring an appropriate gift for a girlfriend? I always assumed I could give a non-wedding ring and not have it mean anything in particular, especially since she wears a lot of rings in the first place.

You know her better than we do.
Short answer : Yes of course.

 

[grap3fruitman]

Is it a bad sign if a girl signs up for a dating site after seeing you a handful of times? And you haven't heard from her since then? Yeah, right?

 

[stn]

Yup. Though don't beat yourself up for it and think you did something wrong. If she potentially ditched you because you, for example, failed to make a sexual advance, then chalk it up to inexperience and learn from the mistake.

However, if she ditched you because you were needy or rude or whatever, then that's something you must change. I'm not saying either of these instances occurred, just that there is a range of things that could have happened. You need to identify anything you think you did wrong and improve for next time.

Just don't beat yourself up, its pointless. Find mistake, accept mistake, and remember it for next time. OR, maybe you did nothing wrong and she just lost interest. People have short attention spans and are usually very selfish, it happens.

 

[Pachimari]

Broke up with my girlfriend an hour ago...

Now I'm drinking.

 

[giga]

Broke up with my girlfriend an hour ago...

Now I'm drinking.

Breakups around the holidays are so brutal. Mine was two days ago.

What happened?

 

[Pachimari]

I broke up with her. Because I'm tired of her "lying" and I really think it was disrespectful of her, telling all of our guests about our sex life without asking me first. Combine that with everything else that has happened the past 3 years and I just knew I couldn't evolve this relationship any further.

But I'm sad as fuck anyway.

 

[Granadier]

Chatted with my friend & she doesn't expect me to attend. Her sister is a bit disappointed but was understanding.

Everything went better than expected!

 

[bcl0328]

i need some advice on a girl i like.

so this girl i work with, we started talking regularly about a month ago. and by regularly i mean every day. to me personally, i wish we talked more but that's because i'm a hopeless romantic. half the time i start conversations, the other times she will start them.

we started out just emailing each other then moved on to facebook and and whatnot. i've told her how i felt about her so she knows my feelings and intent already.

last week we went out to go ice skating, but that didn't happen since we ate first and the rink closed at 8. so we basically only got to walk around and eat dinner together.

after i took her home she asked if i had a good time and i said of course i did. the next day i asked her if she did as well and she said she did, and would be up to go out again sometime.

the thing is, i don't know exactly why i'm feeling the way i do right now. kind of depressed and down. i mean this amazing girl went out with me, we talk all the time, and yet i feel like she doesn't want to be with me for some reason.

i just honestly have never had a real girlfriend before so i'm kind of winging this. can someone tell me if there is something i should or should not be doing at this point?

i already got her a small $15 gift card for christmas.

she is all i can think about 24/7 and when we're apart it drives me crazy. what is wrong with me?

 

[stn]

we started out just emailing each other then moved on to facebook and and whatnot. i've told her how i felt about her so she knows my feelings and intent already.

Bad move. Very bad move. The GOLDEN rule in starting a relationship is you start it casually. You don't share feelings. You ask for a coffee and show the girl what a charming gent you are. Feelings come when you've been dating exclusively.

after i took her home she asked if i had a good time and i said of course i did. the next day i asked her if she did as well and she said she did, and would be up to go out again sometime.

the thing is, i don't know exactly why i'm feeling the way i do right now. kind of depressed and down. i mean this amazing girl went out with me, we talk all the time, and yet i feel like she doesn't want to be with me for some reason.

She said "sometime"? That's not always a good sign. Also, you should always trust your gut. The reason you're feeling down is because you told a girl you have feelings for her and the reality is she hasn't returned them. I wouldn't be surprised if she's going out with you because she's afraid to reject you or she's too non-confrontational. I personally know a girl who dated a guy she had zero interest in three times before she finally had the courage to be honest with him.

i already got her a small $15 gift card for christmas.

she is all i can think about 24/7 and when we're apart it drives me crazy. what is wrong with me?

Another rule I follow: do not start a relationship off with presents of any kind. Most people perceive presents, especially romantic ones, as a strong advance. They then get scared because they assume you have strong feelings and they're not sure how to respond. People want to be in relationships, its just that they also don't want their "me time" to feel threatened. That's why everyone wants to start casual, to make sure they can still have a life apart from their relationship.

As for the 24/7 part... you HAVE TO stop that shit. Being ridiculously clingy will get you nowhere and WILL scare her off. I promise you that. Its also a terrible quality to have as a person. Go jerk off to porn all day if you have to, just force yourself to relax.


On a general note, Merry Christmas to all of you here! Pretty much the only thread I contribute regularly in. Hopefully we all have less dating issues next year than we did this year.

 

[bcl0328]

Bad move. Very bad move. The GOLDEN rule in starting a relationship is you start it casually. You don't share feelings. You ask for a coffee and show the girl what a charming gent you are. Feelings come when you've been dating exclusively.

ok, but i didn't mean like i said "i love you" or anything. i just made sure she knows we aren't in the friendzone. i said she was pretty, easy to get along with, great personality.

we actually talked for a few months before this. then she moved positions and we kind of stopped. so it's like we're picking up where we left off.

 

[bcl0328]

She said "sometime"? That's not always a good sign. Also, you should always trust your gut. The reason you're feeling down is because you told a girl you have feelings for her and the reality is she hasn't returned them. I wouldn't be surprised if she's going out with you because she's afraid to reject you or she's too non-confrontational. I personally know a girl who dated a guy she had zero interest in three times before she finally had the courage to be honest with him.

well i said "would you like to go out again sometime?" since it's the holidays and it's kind of hectic and she said sure .

and the whole ice skating thing, i came up with the idea and asked her when she was free to go. i said let's go sat or sun. last week out of the blue she was like let's go today. so it was kind of her idea to go that day. she made the initiative to go. i wasn't even ready to go yet, but we went anyway.

As for the 24/7 part... you HAVE TO stop that shit. Being ridiculously clingy will get you nowhere and WILL scare her off. I promise you that. Its also a terrible quality to have as a person. Go jerk off to porn all day if you have to, just force yourself to relax.

ok so should i stop messaging her then? and just wait until she starts a conversation? i'm really holding back here and trying my best not to be clingy.

 

[stn]

ok, but i didn't mean like i said "i love you" or anything. i just made sure she knows we aren't in the friendzone. i said she was pretty, easy to get along with, great personality.

we actually talked for a few months before this. then she moved positions and we kind of stopped. so it's like we're picking up where we left off.

You talked for a while, disappeared, and now are continuing to hangout? Ehhhhhh, I could be wrong but my hunch tells me there's nothing there. I don't see how a girl with interest in a guy wouldn't find SOME excuse to talk or hangout when things go dry. All I can say is go on another date and observe her body language. Or, really, just stop calling her to go out. If she's genuinely interested she will inquire about you. If not - yeah, you get where I'm going with this.

I won't be able to reply until later in the day. Cheers!

EDIT: Go out with her but slow down on the compliments, gifts, and DO NOT BE CLINGY! Do not text her often or call her nonstop. After your next date take a few days off from speaking. Heck, even a week off. You need to chill or she WILL run.

 

[bcl0328]

You talked for a while, disappeared, and now are continuing to hangout? Ehhhhhh, I could be wrong but my hunch tells me there's nothing there. I don't see how a girl with interest in a guy wouldn't find SOME excuse to talk or hangout when things go dry. All I can say is go on another date and observe her body language. Or, really, just stop calling her to go out. If she's genuinely interested she will inquire about you. If not - yeah, you get where I'm going with this.

I won't be able to reply until later in the day. Cheers!

EDIT: Go out with her but slow down on the compliments, gifts, and DO NOT BE CLINGY! Do not text her often or call her nonstop. After your next date take a few days off from speaking. Heck, even a week off. You need to chill or she WILL run.

alright, thanks dude.

edit: one question when you get back. should i have done anything on the first date like tried to kiss her or hold hands?

 

[Granadier]

alright, thanks dude.

edit: one question when you get back. should i have done anything on the first date like tried to kiss her or hold hands?

Nope, not unless there was a clear time for that to occur. And you would have known it.

 

[NateDrake]

Everything went better than expected!

Absolutely! Was invited to a more local party - still about a 50mile drive - but at least that is doable.

 

[DutchNeon]

Any special things I should know when dating a religious girl? Met a girl at work and she shows interest in me. I like her too so far so I'm considering asking her out. Found out through her Facebook add that she is Christian and that she goes to church from time to time.

I'm not anti religious; I'm actually somewhat open to it. Just that I was raised up without religious influence so I don't know anything about it. Nor what my parents and her's would think of me dating her if it works out.

 

[GK86]

Might sound weird, but don't bring up religion. Otherwise, respect her religion and faith. Doesn't sound like she is super religious, so you should be good. Just go about it normally.

 

[CatPee]

Any special things I should know when dating a religious girl? Met a girl at work and she shows interest in me. I like her too so far so I'm considering asking her out. Found out through her Facebook add that she is Christian and that she goes to church from time to time.

I'm not anti religious; I'm actually somewhat open to it. Just that I was raised up without religious influence so I don't know anything about it. Nor what my parents and her's would think of me dating her if it works out.

Been through this a couple times. Easiest thing to do is to not bring it up altogether. If and when it does come up, have a fair-minded discussion and encourage the sharing of each other's worldviews.

If she behaves with "hostility" towards you as you're speaking about yours (and you'll recognize it instantly), then you know what to do.

 

[obin_gam]

Any special things I should know when dating a religious girl? Met a girl at work and she shows interest in me. I like her too so far so I'm considering asking her out. Found out through her Facebook add that she is Christian and that she goes to church from time to time.

I'm not anti religious; I'm actually somewhat open to it. Just that I was raised up without religious influence so I don't know anything about it. Nor what my parents and her's would think of me dating her if it works out.

Take note

 

[bcl0328]

Nope, not unless there was a clear time for that to occur. And you would have known it.

yea i figured. that's why i wish the ice skating thing went as planned. we could have held hands then.



now about new years, should i even bother trying to make plans or just ask her what she's doing for it?

 

[Nightbird]

Hey Guys, remember me?
The Guy who had the Movie Night with that one Girl, and kept overthinking stuff?

Spoiler

It's not going to be easy, but she's my Girlfriend now :3

Thanks to those who gave Tipps, I appreciate it, and if I'm going to be in trouble I know where to ask

 

[VASPER]

i need some advice on a girl i like.

so this girl i work with, we started talking regularly about a month ago. and by regularly i mean every day. to me personally, i wish we talked more but that's because i'm a hopeless romantic. half the time i start conversations, the other times she will start them.

we started out just emailing each other then moved on to facebook and and whatnot. i've told her how i felt about her so she knows my feelings and intent already.

last week we went out to go ice skating, but that didn't happen since we ate first and the rink closed at 8. so we basically only got to walk around and eat dinner together.

after i took her home she asked if i had a good time and i said of course i did. the next day i asked her if she did as well and she said she did, and would be up to go out again sometime.

the thing is, i don't know exactly why i'm feeling the way i do right now. kind of depressed and down. i mean this amazing girl went out with me, we talk all the time, and yet i feel like she doesn't want to be with me for some reason.

i just honestly have never had a real girlfriend before so i'm kind of winging this. can someone tell me if there is something i should or should not be doing at this point?

i already got her a small $15 gift card for christmas.

she is all i can think about 24/7 and when we're apart it drives me crazy. what is wrong with me?

Are you me in a different time line? Personally i would not get her anything, if you have only been seeing each other for a month a card or flowers is a better option IMO. I have been in this same situation recently, started dating a girl of my dreams and we have great chemistry. I spent the night at her place Sunday night and we hung out the night before Christmas eve. I have been losing my mind just because i haven't talked to her since Christmas. I really like her and she has said she likes me so i feel like i should just chill and wait for her to hit me up but its hard.

 

[Ndless]

Hey Guys, remember me?
The Guy who had the Movie Night with that one Girl, and kept overthinking stuff?

Spoiler

It's not going to be easy, but she's my Girlfriend now :3

Thanks to those who gave Tipps, I appreciate it, and if I'm going to be in trouble I know where to ask

Another success story. Congrats!

Holla' if anything.

 

[Ndless]

Is it a bad sign if a girl signs up for a dating site after seeing you a handful of times? And you haven't heard from her since then? Yeah, right?

Yeah, sorry.

Do the same, you'll be fine.

 

[bcl0328]

Are you me in a different time line? Personally i would not get her anything, if you have only been seeing each other for a month a card or flowers is a better option IMO. I have been in this same situation recently, started dating a girl of my dreams and we have great chemistry. I spent the night at her place Sunday night and we hung out the night before Christmas eve. I have been losing my mind just because i haven't talked to her since Christmas. I really like her and she has said she likes me so i feel like i should just chill and wait for her to hit me up but its hard.

i haven't even been to her place yet, well i picked her up outside, that's all. we haven't really talked too much since we went out, just random conversations here and there. she did comment on my FB status yesterday and i replied. today i haven't said a word to her and it's driving me nuts. i see her keep checking her FB on her phone and after i assume there's no messages she closes it.

 

[CapnKips]

Redacted, thanks for your thoughts.

 

[NeOak]

.

Somehow, I think this is a case of wanting what you can't have. You should have dated other guys instead of just waiting. But you've been pining for this guy in a very strong case of one-itis.

How opposed are you to the idea of having sex with other guys? Why haven't you?

 

[CapnKips]

I have no interest in casual sex, if that's what you're asking about. I would have to be very comfortable with someone within the context of a relationship. I also have concerns that men in the age range that I consider date-able for me would have some trouble entertaining the idea of a relationship that might take some time to evolve into a sexual one.

 

[Nether!]

Date other people.
You can still be friends with your ex if you let go of the idea that you will eventually end up back together, otherwise you're just going to be stuck in the place you are now.
You are already making excuses why you can't date someone else, "guys won't accept not having sex right away." I'm sure if you reflected on this, and whatever other reasons you have created, you would see they are not true and obstacles you are creating for yourself.

 

[CapnKips]

You may be on to something, I do have the tendency to talk myself out of things.
Because my relationship came from a friendship and lasted so long, I do find the concept of dating extremely daunting.

 

[Nether!]

It's never going to not be daunting if you don't do it.
You will always have a reason not to. You're using your ex as a reason right now.
I don't know you outside of what you've posted but I'm sure you are a decent person that deserves happiness and a fulfilling romantic relationship.
It doesn't sound like you had that before when you were with your partner and it definitely doesn't sound like you have it now.
Move on, don't hold out hope he will try to reinitiate something with you, it's honestly not worth it.
There's many people out there that you can be happy with.

 

[2San]

I have no interest in casual sex, if that's what you're asking about. I would have to be very comfortable with someone within the context of a relationship. I also have concerns that men in the age range that I consider date-able for me would have some trouble entertaining the idea of a relationship that might take some time to evolve into a sexual one.

What do you consider casual though? I've seen plenty of relationships where sex starts like 3 months in (I'm in my mid 20's). Though, it's not my cup of tea either. I would gladly wait a few months if I actually cared for the girl.

 

[Lulubop]

bleh

 

[NeOak]

Kinda off topic a bit, but I needa get this out I think.

So back in July me and my ex got into a huge argument, I said some things that I shouldn't have but since then we haven't communicated. She my ex at the time this went down, and had been for about a year though we were in the process of getting back together.

Anyway fast forward to last night, it's her Bday and she's in the city and she's drunk and she wants to see me. She it happens, and I guess we catch up a bit. Turns out she's in love with some married man with a family who's essentially being a sugar daddy, but she says he can do whatever he wants to her, knock her up, etc because he will take care of her. She's convinced he loves her, and I believe he is a doctor she works with on her rotation. This is really fucking me up. I can't be the voice of reason, but no way what she's doing is right. Extreme delusions.

Wat?

She is delusional.

 

[PflargBlarg]

Well I mean, technically he would have to take care of her if he knocked her up.