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[MisterLuffy]

I hate staying at home all day but at the same time I don't feel like going outside. It sucks when I go on the internet all day. I need to find a job so I can earn money and save it. I really hate feeling like a charity case and being useless.

 

[User 479360]

How are you doing since you got back from the holiday? I saw your New Year message and am concerned. Are you getting plenty of sleep? Do you have a good friend you can ring in the new year with? Get the year started on a positive note.

Thanks. I have been wanting a service/therapy dog for a few years. It's amazing that they can tell when you are in physical or emotional pain. They react instantly and try to calm you. Have a great day. I'm here to listen if needed.

Thanks for the note and concern

I was in a bad mood last night due to familial issues that pop up regularly. Just getting sick of being treated like a 12 year-old criminal. Things have been better today, though.

I'm not sure of what I'll be doing for NYE. I got invited to a friend's apartment, as he's having a party with his other friends, but I don't know if I'll go. It'll be a bit awkward, because I only know one of them and someone I've been trying to avoid may also attend. Family friends are also coming down, and there are two hockey games on, so I may stay home.

I went out last night and drank at a friend's. It was only my second time drinking since the summer, I think. I got a little intoxicated and we played a game (there were several of us), but it wasn't a late night.

I was up early again, at 7am, despite going to sleep at about 1am.

 

[Silphonica]

Think my anxiety has peaked a whole new level, wtf.

Was asleep just now and was awoken by someone knocking my front door, thought id ignore it and carry on sleeping. Next thing I hear is my inside door opening, and I start to listen, creep creep, I hear floorboard creeking. It's going passed my room and going down the hall to my flatmates room, I hear someone turn my flatmates door handle, at this point im so sure there is someone in the house. I can hear their presence and all I know is, theyre not near my door and their trying to keep quiet, my mind went into hyperdrive at that point and I was in complete state of fear and terror. I could feel my heart beat like crazy and my mind was buzzing. I couldn't pull myself to go up and check, I couldn't.. So at this point I hear movement again, and it's my flatmates door handle again. Fuck, theyre really here.

I hesitate but I call police, a near enough fuck off swat team arrived, 15 of them. At my house, false alarm.

My flatmate wakes up as if to say wtf. Now I just feel so ashamed, I was sure I could hear it, but now it must have been all in my head, my brain is making shit up for me to worry about, I don't like it.

 

[Polydeuces]

Think my anxiety has peaked a whole new level, wtf.

Was asleep just now and was awoken by someone knocking my front door, thought id ignore it and carry on sleeping. Next thing I hear is my inside door opening, and I start to listen, creep creep, I hear floorboard creeking. It's going passed my room and going down the hall to my flatmates room, I hear someone turn my flatmates door handle, at this point im so sure there is someone in the house. I can hear their presence and all I know is, theyre not near my door and their trying to keep quiet, my mind went into hyperdrive at that point and I was in complete state of fear and terror. I could feel my heart beat like crazy and my mind was buzzing. I couldn't pull myself to go up and check, I couldn't.. So at this point I hear movement again, and it's my flatmates door handle again. Fuck, theyre really here.

I hesitate but I call police, a near enough fuck off swat team arrived, 15 of them. At my house, false alarm.

My flatmate wakes up as if to say wtf. Now I just feel so ashamed, I was sure I could hear it, but now it must have been all in my head, my brain is making shit up for me to worry about, I don't like it.

At least you dealt with the situation fully instead of lingering on your mind it seems. Being ashamed does suck but at least you dealt with the problem. Dont feel too terrible.

 

[disastermouse]

Hi guys.

I've been looking at this thread since I well…joined and I figured it would help if I posted.

I've been suffering from anxiety and depression for at least 4 and a half years…maybe even a lot longer than that, I can't remember.

My main problem is my loneliness. I really do want to address my problem of loneliness but the issue is I have no idea what to do. Let me give an idea of what's going on in my life. I play FFXIV:ARR and I have friends who I really do love and appreciate. However, I get really anxious talking to them sometimes because I'm worried they might find me annoying. Like when I send a message to one of my friends, they'll be like "Ugh, not him again.". They might not actually say this in their head but that's how I feel they react. I think I do a lot for them, like help out with any dungeons, gather materials, etc. Plus, when I communicate with them and I feel I'm annoying, I even not talk to them the next day so it would feel that I haven't talked to them for a while and they'd forget how annoying I am. I still feel pretty terrible not talking to them, because I really do, but I'm basically forcing myself not talking, which hurts me emotionally in the long run.

Despite all this, I still do feel very lonely. I don't know what to do. I'm really willing to get rid of my loneliness once and for all and just ACTUALLY feel happy and satisfied.

If anybody replies to this wall of text, I will really appreciate it.

Maybe you ARE annoying. That doesn't make you unloveable or not a friend. Many of my friends annoy the living shit out of me.

My girlfriend has this problem in a lot of her friend and family relationships. Her interest has often gone unrequited and it's a very painful situation. She's starting to take the reins and drop those relationships and realize that she's the star of her own life.

As for me, I don't get lonely anymore and I don't take people's disinterest in my life as a sign of something lacking - but I started doing that at a pretty young age. Other people's interest is just not a reliable guide to self-worth.

 

[Mononoke]

Sorry for not replying sooner. I came back last night to run a contest and giveaway my old PS4 (recently got the new 20th anniversary PS4). I thought you guys should know about it, so maybe you could enter (you've all been so kind):

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=961687

I also thought I would give you guys a brief update on my situation:

I am doing much much better. It's crazy how even something as little as 3 days can really help (getting away from things). I was so close to everything emotionally, I was having a hard time seeing. Prior to this last year, I've never had depression or emotional issues. So this is all new to me. But I've generally been someone that is self-aware and can be very reasonable.

I still plan on travelling, which means I'll be off GAF for close to 2 months. I'll be focusing on my own self/health. That is still happening. Because despite me in this moment, being healthier and having a better understanding of things, you can't just snap your fingers and be cured. It doesn't work that way. I still feel a real sense of sadness from time to time.

But what I've come to accept is that, I was 100% to blame for my own issues. No. This isn't about me feeling guilty or beating myself up. It's not about self-loathing. I take responsibility in the sense that, there were things in my life I had no control over, that impacted me in very negative ways. But it was my inability at the time to see those things, and recognize them that caused me issues. It was NEVER healthy to put all of your happiness on one person/relationship. I realize now that, I had lost an appreciation for life and was still clinging to something singular to get by. But life is a lot more then that, and you can't just put everything into ONE thing.

That was my flaw. That was my failure. And again, I'm not saying this to beat myself up. I'm saying it so, I can move on. And learn from my mistakes. I lost the best friendship I've ever had over this. I was just too blind to see it was my own problems. And I instead put it on this other person. I will always feel regret and sadness, of course. I will always miss them. But I also have to understand that actions have consequences. Even if when we aren't our best selves, they do. And they impact other people. And they are going through things too (it's not all about you). That was my problem. I'm usually a very caring person that thinks about others. But I had gotten tunnel vision and was only thinking about myself. I see that now.

Well, the good thing is, I know what I did wrong. I know I won't make that mistake again. And I'm moving on and being healthier every day. Of course there is still work. But I'm already far away from the dark place that believed I had nothing left. I have plenty left. Even if it's not something I wish I hadn't lost. But I still have a lot left. Because life isn't about ONE thing.

I wish everyone a happy holiday. I hope, everyone hangs on and keeps fighting.

 

[hunchback]

Thanks for the note and concern

I was in a bad mood last night due to familial issues that pop up regularly. Just getting sick of being treated like a 12 year-old criminal. Things have been better today, though.

I'm not sure of what I'll be doing for NYE. I got invited to a friend's apartment, as he's having a party with his other friends, but I don't know if I'll go. It'll be a bit awkward, because I only know one of them and someone I've been trying to avoid may also attend. Family friends are also coming down, and there are two hockey games on, so I may stay home.

I went out last night and drank at a friend's. It was only my second time drinking since the summer, I think. I got a little intoxicated and we played a game (there were several of us), but it wasn't a late night.

I was up early again, at 7am, despite going to sleep at about 1am.

Isn't 6 hour's pretty good for you? I thought I remember reading you were only getting 3-4 hours. You don't want to stay home NYE by yourself. These are the holidays where we get those negative thoughts and feel crappy. Maybe hang with family then catch one of the hockey games. What's going on that is making you feel like a criminal? If you're not comfortable talking about it, no worries. Who is your favorite hockey team? I'm a life long Rangers fan but I never get to see any game's because I don't have the hockey channel.
I hope you have a great night tomorrow and enjoy yourself. Make sure you post and let me know how the night went. I'm staying home because the Therapy dog isn't quite ready for a loud boisterous evening. Have a great afternoon.

 

[Ashes]

I saw Imagination Game over the Christmas holidays and I recommend it, if you're ok with several trigger warnings, suicide being one of them.
It did make me feel a little better of myself and the oddity that I am.

Googled. Could not find anything. Google thinks you mean Imitation Game?

 

[Mieu]

Happy 2015 to you guys! Remember that there's always hope. Whenever you fall, stand up. When life beats you down, fight back. Always emerge victorious.

I wish everyone a brighter, and fuller 2015!

 

[Blackquill]

happy new year everyone !

Well anyway, I saw my therapist yesterday about the medical center I talked about earlier in this thread, he said he put me now in a waiting list and I'll just have to wait for a phone call. I have no idea how I can't wait, it's been a month since the last I went to college and saw people different than my family or my therapist, feels bad especially around this time of the year.

For the people who get in something like this, how long have you waited ? :x

 

[NinJaSQUARE]

Have you ever shared this worry with any of your friends? Having their reassurance that you're not annoying could be good.

What makes you think that? They probably think nothing of the sort.

Do you go out and do things with friends?

My friends never start conversations with me and we never really do anything together unless I ask them. It can't be them though, because I've had a lot of friendships in the past and they were all like this. It has to be something to do with me, and I really don't want to lose them.

I've told one of my friends but she says she's always busy. Also, sometimes, when I send a message to a friend, they don't respond at all and it just ends up ruining my day.

 

[ReiGun]

Happy 2015 Everyone! I wanted to share something I wrote about my own battle with depression and what this year has meant for me. http://wp.me/p1vxHq-7Y

I don't post in here often, but I do read quite a bit, and I just wanted to say that you all are amazing. The love, understanding, education, and support in this thread everyday is nothing short of incredible. Know that the world is a better place because you all are in it.

 

[Mononoke]

So a final update:

I now have a girlfriend. Someone that actually had a crush on me for a while now, and who has been supportive this entire time. They had been away for the Christmas Holidays and just came back after everything that blew up with me and my best friend.

I found out this best friend, actually just cut me off and gave a BS reason to someone else for why they ended it. I actually had zero idea what happened, or if this person was even okay. I had to contact someone else to find this out. That is what really gets me. The cowardice of this person. That despite all the things we had been through. All the things I had done for them. They couldn't even give me the courtesy of saying Goodbye to me, or even explain that it was over. Even a PM or an Email would have sufficed (if they didn't want to talk to me).

Not even giving me that. It's the lack of closure that hurts me, and something I don't think I'll ever get over. The thing is, I've been able to step back recently, and truly analyze everything I did wrong. I've recognized all the mistakes I made. All the problems I had. I understand them now, and I take responsibility. But this person isn't taking responsibility. They instead have cut me out, and hid like a little child.

What really gets me is that, we had a very deep and special relationship. And it meant so much (or so they told me). And so in the end, after everything, I don't even get a goodbye or an explanation. I'm really floored, that this person is capable of this. And it gets even worse! This person, knew that I had PTSD from my cancer and my family abandoning me. I even posted about there here. But my own mother told me I deserved to die (that god gave me cancer because I'm an atheist). She KNEW about this. She knew my cousin killed her self in the middle of my chemo. She promised me she would never abandon me.

She told me this even the day before she cut me out. And what does she do? Fuckin abandons me. Again, there is a difference between abandoning and ending things. If she had talked to me, or even just said goodbye and explained why she needs to end it. But nope. I wasn't even worth that. I was tossed aside like a piece of trash. AND THIS was my best friend. This person told me I was their best friend. Just insane.

Well to wrap all this up. I finally got some closure. I had to give myself closure. I can't even tell this person how I feel, because they refused to read what I have to say. Refuse to have a civil conversation like two adults. So it is what it is. They are only going to hide and act like nothing ever happened. I guess that is how they cope with things. But it's pretty pathetic. Because you don't create a close/intimate relationship. You don't build that up with another human being, and then toss them out like trash and do so just because it's easy, and allows you to avoid things.

My god.

I am moving forward though. I feel 100% okay with them out of my life. The only thing that was keeping my from letting go, was that lack of closure or goodbye. But I've now come to think that, this person is a super shitty human being. Anyone willing to do that to someone that was going through all of this, is not worth my time or love. I went from caring about this person more then anything, to now feeling nothing for them. I could care less what happens to them. I wish I had never met them. I actually wish something happens, because I want them to finally to take some responsibility instead of being a coward and allowing others to suffer because of their actions.

Never in my life, have I ever felt this way about anyone before. I've always been someone that is super compassionate. Who is only ever full of love and kindness. I've always been someone that looks out for others, and who thinks about others. I don't have it in me to hate. But I can't think of this person any way. She knew 100% what I was going through. She knew this. She used me. She used me when it convenient for her to get emotional support (when she couldn't get it from her family or her relationships). And then she threw me aside treated me like trash. I never forced her into this relationship. I never once asked for this.

Again, ending the relationship because of the problems I caused, the bad things I did -- 100% okay. I'm okay with that. I accept that. I had issues, and I can admit that and own up to them. But that's not what she did. I've been able to look at everything in my life, and take responsibility for my actions. I know what I've done wrong. And I'm learning from my mistakes and becoming a better person.

I'm going to focus on the person I am now dating, and getting more healthy. I have moved on from this. This is the last time I'll ever speak of this (I just wanted to get it off my chest one last time and wrap this up, as I told this thread my story up to this point).

As long as I live, I'll never forget. But I also no longer have any anger or sadness. I just can't think of this person anymore. I have taken responsibility. I 100% know everything I did wrong. I know every single thing I did to hurt both of us. I now have a proper perspective on all the issues my life has caused. And I'm no longer using excuses for it. And because I've been able to face them and take responsibility, it's allowed me to be at peace with myself, and also move forward and learn from what I've done (so I don't do it again).

I want to thank everyone for all the support you have given me. This has been a really hard year for me. I almost gave up several times. I've been pushed to the edge so many times. But thank you for the support.

 

[Marow]

I'm sorry for dropping a link, but I just wrote this: http://www.reddit.com/r/depression/...actually_depressed_did_my_mom_just_invade_my/

It may be the wrong place to do it, but I wish to avoid talking about it on this account due to the circumstances discussed in that link. Overly paranoid, yes, but let me be that for now. You are free to reply to said text here, however. I just don't know anymore.

 

[Bagels]

Love you guys!

 

[Watcher]

Drinking away my sorrow. I feel fine actually. Thank you alcohol

 

[Dawg]

I think I'm developing a sleep problem. When I started taking my 100mg meds, I had ups and downs with short sleep cycles and long cycles.

Now all I have is long cycles. I can't go to bed early because I'm not tired and when I finally am tired, it's like 4 or 5 AM and I'll sleep nearly 10 hours.

I tried fixing this by doing an all nighter. This actually worked. I went to bed early and woke up at 8am like a regular person. But then the next day I'd go sleep early again but wake up around noon again for some reason.

Really annoying, I don't like starting my day this late and being awake at night. Only makes me feel worse.

 

[hunchback]

Happy New Year to everyone. Stay safe and positive tonight. I appreciate every single person on this thread.

 

[Silphonica]

I think I'm developing a sleep problem. When I started taking my 100mg meds, I had ups and downs with short sleep cycles and long cycles.

Now all I have is long cycles. I can't go to bed early because I'm not tired and when I finally am tired, it's like 4 or 5 AM and I'll sleep nearly 10 hours.

I tried fixing this by doing an all nighter. This actually worked. I went to bed early and woke up at 8am like a regular person. But then the next day I'd go sleep early again but wake up around noon again for some reason.

Really annoying, I don't like starting my day this late and being awake at night. Only makes me feel worse.

Sertraline?

I'm currently finding it hard to sleep right now (100mg sert), but as im falling asleep, I get muscle spasms that are uncontrollable, and I can feel a numb buzzing down my spine down the backs of my legs down to my toes.

I read online that hypnic jerks are a thing falling asleep, and so I attributed the buzzing to my anxiety being really high, I should not have googled multiple sclerosis considering that having that can cause depression and anxiety and so im back and forth trying to figure out if my anxiety is making me believe that I have multiple sclerosis or I have multiple sclerosis thats making me anxious.

 

[Audioboxer]

Sertraline?

I'm currently finding it hard to sleep right now (100mg sert), but as im falling asleep, I get muscle spasms that are uncontrollable, and I can feel a numb buzzing down my spine down the backs of my legs down to my toes.

I read online that hypnic jerks are a thing falling asleep, and so I attributed the buzzing to my anxiety being really high, I should not have googled multiple sclerosis considering that having that can cause depression and anxiety and so im back and forth trying to figure out if my anxiety is making me believe that I have multiple sclerosis or I have multiple sclerosis thats making me anxious.

Setraline is a killer to my sleep, but unfortunately it's the only med that doesn't pester me during the day. Lots of night terrors and talking during my sleep on it.

 

[Silphonica]

Setraline is a killer to my sleep, but unfortunately it's the only med that doesn't pester me during the day. Lots of night terrors and talking during my sleep on it.

Aw fuck, someone else who has night terrors on sertraline. I posted (its still on this page) but I woke up mid panic attack and I thought there was someone in my house in the middle of the night, had half the police dept at my house to find out there was no-one there.

 

[Audioboxer]

Aw fuck, someone else who has night terrors on sertraline. I posted (its still on this page) but I woke up mid panic attack and I thought there was someone in my house in the middle of the night, had half the police dept at my house to find out there was no-one there.

I scream a lot. It's horrible. I do as well think someone or something is in my room. Woke my ex up I don't know how many times over the years lol. I'm on 100g just now. I've been up to 200 but it was just too much at that dose.

Apart from the odd night I don't have issues getting to sleep it's just a lottery when I am if I have a quiet night or some sort of terror or nightmare.

But yeah I can relate and empathise for sure.

 

[Dawg]

Sertraline?

I'm currently finding it hard to sleep right now (100mg sert), but as im falling asleep, I get muscle spasms that are uncontrollable, and I can feel a numb buzzing down my spine down the backs of my legs down to my toes.

I read online that hypnic jerks are a thing falling asleep, and so I attributed the buzzing to my anxiety being really high, I should not have googled multiple sclerosis considering that having that can cause depression and anxiety and so im back and forth trying to figure out if my anxiety is making me believe that I have multiple sclerosis or I have multiple sclerosis thats making me anxious.

Yep, sertraline. I've always had trouble sleeping tho. I envy people who are able to sleep right after they go into bed.

 

[jb1234]

Happy New Year, all! It's cold outside but the sun is shining! I don't feel particularly well (I think a flare is incoming) but I'm going to take a walk to get some Vitamin D.

After that? I'm thinking Beethoven. Lots of Beethoven.

 

[User 479360]

Isn't 6 hour's pretty good for you? I thought I remember reading you were only getting 3-4 hours. You don't want to stay home NYE by yourself. These are the holidays where we get those negative thoughts and feel crappy. Maybe hang with family then catch one of the hockey games. What's going on that is making you feel like a criminal? If you're not comfortable talking about it, no worries. Who is your favorite hockey team? I'm a life long Rangers fan but I never get to see any game's because I don't have the hockey channel.
I hope you have a great night tomorrow and enjoy yourself. Make sure you post and let me know how the night went. I'm staying home because the Therapy dog isn't quite ready for a loud boisterous evening. Have a great afternoon.

My sleep is all over the place. For a week, I was getting up after as little as four hours and not being able to sleep. Some days, though, I sleep a ton (upwards of 15 to 20 hours). My body has become used to 12 hours a day, which isn't good.

I ended up staying home, and spent NYE with my family and their friends. It was fine. I watched both games, but my Grandmother got something lodged in her throat that scratched it when it dissipated, and had to go to the hospital, so I went to pick her up.

I stayed sober, but their friends brought me 12 tallboys, so I drank one of those and passed out at about 2:30am. However, I slept until about 3:45pm.

I didn't feel like going to my friend's. I spent a lot of the day cleaning and didn't feel like going out. I'd already told him I'd likely pass, though, so cleaning is just an excuse I guess.

As for feeling like a criminal? It's just a bad way of explaining how I feel like I'm treated. I don't do drugs, don't drink much, have no criminal record, am a good son/person and try to help. However, I'm talked down to at home like a 12 year old drug addict or criminal, like a bad person so to speak. (Not that all addicts are bad people)

My favourite team is the Leafs.

 

[J2d]

I was having headaches for over six months so after a while I figured it might had something to do with my anti depressants so I quit them three weeks ago and now I remember how fucking good they were for my sleep =( Not enough sleep and the fact that I actually feel like shit is testing me pretty hard, I hope it will get better with time but otherwise I have to talk with my doctor to see if I can try something else. Atleast the headaches are mostly gone.

Does anyone have any good advice on stuff to make you sleepy?(preferably natural stuff that doesn't require a prescription). I picked up some camomile tea but I don't feel like it has any effect.

 

[isny]

Finding out you've been used by someone in a relationship sucks.

I've been depressed in the past, but never this bad. The past year has really been so freaking up and down, with the worst possible downs, and obviously since I've been down for awhile now that's all I can dote on.

Thank god I fear death too much for suicide, but this is definitely the worst I've ever felt. I'm a pro with depression and pretending to be happy, but it just keeps coming back to why, why the fuck pretend to be happy and try to be happy when no one in the world ever really cares about me? They all just pretend to and use me. It's so fucking rediculous how you can give your all to someone and just have your heart stepped on. Why bother going through this shit over and over again when everything in my life always leads to me at the bottom of a hole depressed as shit.

Sorry for the rant, I just can't sleep for how upset I am, just trying to express my feelings to avoid breaking down again.

 

[Mononoke]

I'm crying right now. Not out of sadness. But out of happiness. My best friend finally contacted me and gave me closure. I can finally be at peace. I got to say goodbye to someone I truly love. I'm so happy. But I'm also angry at myself. I realize all the things I did wrong. How much I let my cancer impact my life negatively which then impacted her. I hurt her. I let my depression hurt her. I ruined the best thing I ever had.

But I can accept this and move on. I hope and pray that we end up finding our way back to each other someday. I know that now that I'm healthy and getting to be truly healed and back to who I was, I know our friendship could be amazing without any problems. But I might not get that chance. And I accept that too. Sometimes you have to live with the consequences of your actions.

I'm so grateful for this person and everything they have done for me. I'm so thankful they gave me closure finally. I'm finally at peace. Finally. This chapter in my life is over and I'm truly starting a new chapter.

 

[Palpable]

I'm still horribly depressed (see past threads I made) and I feel like there is no way out. I still cry. I'm still hopeless. I'm still not happy.

I still hate myself.

 

[Ashes]

I'm still horribly depressed (see past threads I made) and I feel like there is no way out. I still cry. I'm still hopeless. I'm still not happy.

I still hate myself.

It's alright. Rejection hurts.

I think you have to give your self time. Not merely the coming minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, but years.

Do work on your issues. But also take a break and do things you enjoy. Go for a lovely walk. Breathe in the misty air. That kind of thing.

 

[Palpable]

It's alright. Rejection hurts.

I think you have to give your self time. Not merely the coming minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, but years.

Do work on your issues. But also take a break and do things you enjoy. Go for a lovely walk. Breathe in the misty air. That kind of thing.

I think it's the massive void that was left when she parted ways with me is what's killing me. I've been far too depressed to play video games or do anything I enjoy for the past month and half. I've been going to the gym regularly, trying to bulk back up, but that's about it. I'm trying to go out more and meet women, date, etc. It's just that everything seems a lot harder now since I see her face everywhere, I'm reminded of her constantly (we used to do EVERYTHING together), and I cannot help but compare her to every women I meet. I hate it. I've learned from mistakes, I truly have, but I hate myself for not fixing them earlier when I really should've.

 

[Ashes]

I think it's the massive void that was left when she parted ways with me is what's killing me. I've been far too depressed to play video games or do anything I enjoy for the past month and half. I've been going to the gym regularly, trying to bulk back up, but that's about it. I'm trying to go out more and meet women, date, etc. It's just that everything seems a lot harder now since I see her face everywhere, I'm reminded of her constantly (we used to do EVERYTHING together), and I cannot help but compare her to every women I meet. I hate it. I've learned from mistakes, I truly have, but I hate myself for not fixing them earlier when I really should've.

I presume you have read up on how to get over breakups or divorce. e.g. http://www.helpguide.org/articles/family-divorce/coping-with-a-breakup-or-divorce.htm

What has seemed to work best thus far?

 

[Palpable]

I presume you have read up on how to get over breakups or divorce. e.g. http://www.helpguide.org/articles/family-divorce/coping-with-a-breakup-or-divorce.htm

What has seemed to work best thus far?

Distractions. Those are the only things that have worked. However, the only distractions that work are the ones where I can prospectively meet new women. I have this mentality that I need to find someone prettier... better than my ex. That is proving to be very difficult, and I know it's not the mentality I should have. I cannot help this. I caused her to hate me after the break up. That also contributes to my depression. When we were on speaking terms after the break up, I told her I was contemplating suicide. She called me every couple of hours that day to check up on me. I didn't answer my phone at one point for hours and she thought the worst. This caused her to become physically sick for a time. The next day she told me she was blocking my number and never wanted me to bother her again.

 

[BrightEyedPanic]

Hey, guys. I'm new to thread. I'm currently experiencing late night anxiety attacks and I really don't have anyone to go to calm myself down. I've spent the last few nights crying, obviously overthinking the bs in my life. Now, I do have meds for it, but don't want to risk being irresponsible with them (again.) If you've ever been in those shoes, how did you calm yourself? I've had these issues for as long as I can remember, but recently it's just been piling on and I feel like instead of making progress, I'm going backwards and it makes the panic attacks more difficult to over come in a timely manner. I'm exhausted, but I can't fall asleep.

 

[Ashes]

Distractions. Those are the only things that have worked. However, the only distractions that work are the ones where I can prospectively meet new women. I have this mentality that I need to find someone prettier... better than my ex. That is proving to be very difficult, and I know it's not the mentality I should have. I cannot help this. I caused her to hate me after the break up. That also contributes to my depression. When we were on speaking terms after the break up, I told her I was contemplating suicide. She called me every couple of hours that day to check up on me. I didn't answer my phone at one point for hours and she thought the worst. This caused her to become physically sick for a time. The next day she told me she was blocking my number and never wanted me to bother her again.

In your thought processes, what happens when you get this new upgraded version of your ex?

 

[Palpable]

In your thought processes, what happens when you get this new upgraded version of your ex?

I'm happier. I know what to do to be a better boyfriend, a better man. I want to spend more time with her. I want to better myself for her, for us. I want to do everything I didn't do right with my ex. I know how to show her she's appreciated and loved. That's something I didn't do well with my ex...

 

[Blues1990]

Hey, guys. I'm new to thread. I'm currently experiencing late night anxiety attacks and I really don't have anyone to go to calm myself down. I've spent the last few nights crying, obviously over-thinking the bs in my life. Now, I do have meds for it, but don't want to risk being irresponsible with them (again.) If you've ever been in those shoes, how did you calm yourself? I've had these issues for as long as I can remember, but recently it's just been piling on and I feel like instead of making progress, I'm going backwards and it makes the panic attacks more difficult to over come in a timely manner. I'm exhausted, but I can't fall asleep.

Anxiety will usually lead to sleep deprivation, so it's best to treat it as early as you detect it. If you can, you should consult a physician as soon as possible. In the meantime, if you can learn to ride the wave of the anxiety attack, understanding that it is just that, a wave. It is a moment in time. It's never permanent. It is not a defining moment in your life. It is not the end of your story.

 

[Ashes]

I'm happier. I know what to do to be a better boyfriend, a better man. I want to spend more time with her. I want to better myself for her, for us. I want to do everything I didn't do right with my ex. I know how to show her she's appreciated and loved. That's something I didn't do well with my ex...

And what does this new upgraded ex do for you? Does she for instance accept you for who you are?

 

[Palpable]

And what does this new upgraded ex do for you? Does she for instance accept you for who you are?

Yeah. She's essentially just like my ex, minus what happened in the end. She loves me for me, wants the best for me, pushes me to be a better man, and wants a future with me.

 

[Ashes]

Yeah. She's essentially just like my ex, minus what happened in the end. She loves me for me, wants the best for me, pushes me to be a better man, and wants a future with me.

Do you think you will find someone better?

 

[Palpable]

Do you think you will find someone better?

That's the million dollar question. I don't know. She was so pretty, very smart for her age (starting law school at 20 for fucks sake), very affectionate, funny, and we bonded over mutual appreciate/hate for things. I don't fucking know if I'll find anyone better. I don't want to be with anyone less, that's for sure.

 

[BadTaste]

How do I battle anger? The anger I'm feeling stems from a specific issue involving my dad and my now deceased dog. My dog died just over 2 years ago and in her final few years she endured a lot of physical abuse from my dad. He would take his frustrations out on her and would beat her repeatedly, he could go for 2 minutes straight while she sat there helplessly screaming in agony. Most of the time I only heard it happening from my bedroom but there were 1 or 2 occasions where I witnessed him do it.

Back then I didn't have the balls to go and stop him, I was afraid and intimidated by him since he's a fucking psychopath. The last time he attacked her was around February 2012, she later died that year in September 2012.

Not once has he admitted or apologized for all the beatings he gave her. I remember the day she died I went and approached my dad looking for an apology but he proceeded to throw verbal abuse at me then stormed out of the house. I guess deep down he knew he was full of guilt and in the wrong but too much of a pussy to admit it.

Without me my dog would've had nobody to care for her, even if I was such a coward back that I didn't intervene to save her from those beatings. I loved her to bits.

I've obviously moved out of that dump since my dog died and since then I've been working out every week, this helps me put my anger and the past behind me but it's not enough. Every day I think about how he used to beat her senseless and it makes me furious, I get urges to travel to his house so I can fucking kick his ass. I know I'm capable of doing it now and even though it was over 2 years ago I still want to teach him a lesson.

 

[Ashes]

That's the million dollar question. I don't know. She was so pretty, very smart for her age (starting law school at 20 for fucks sake), very affectionate, funny, and we bonded over mutual appreciate/hate for things. I don't fucking know if I'll find anyone better. I don't want to be with anyone less, that's for sure.

'Smart,' 'affectionate', and 'funny' aren't that rare. Lucky for you.

Jeez, for a second there, I thought you were gonna say, a 9ft, 34dd'd with 160+ .I.Q.

So what were her biggest drawbacks? Did she like or hate games?

 

[hammertomb]

How do I battle anger? The anger I'm feeling stems from a specific issue involving my dad and my now deceased dog. My dog died just over 2 years ago and in her final few years she endured a lot of physical abuse from my dad. He would take his frustrations out on her and would beat her repeatedly, he could go for 2 minutes straight while she sat there helplessly screaming in agony. Most of the time I only heard it happening from my bedroom but there were 1 or 2 occasions where I witnessed him do it.

Back then I didn't have the balls to go and stop him, I was afraid and intimidated by him since he's a fucking psychopath. The last time he attacked her was around February 2012, she later died that year in September 2012.

Not once has he admitted or apologized for all the beatings he gave her. I remember the day she died I went and approached my dad looking for an apology but he proceeded to throw verbal abuse at me then stormed out of the house. I guess deep down he knew he was full of guilt and in the wrong but too much of a pussy to admit it.

Without me my dog would've had nobody to care for her, even if I was such a coward back that I didn't intervene to save her from those beatings. I loved her to bits.

I've obviously moved out of that dump since my dog died and since then I've been working out every week, this helps me put my anger and the past behind me but it's not enough. Every day I think about how he used to beat her senseless and it makes me furious, I get urges to travel to his house so I can fucking kick his ass. I know I'm capable of doing it now and even though it was over 2 years ago I still want to teach him a lesson.

Exercise. i found out that going on the treadmill at least one hour per day calmed me down.

 

[Palpable]

'Smart,' 'affectionate', and 'funny' aren't that rare. Lucky for you.

Jeez, for a second there, I thought you were gonna say, a 9ft, 34dd'd with 160+ .I.Q.

So what were her biggest drawbacks? Did she like or hate games?

She had a great body minus some fat around the midsection. Her biggest drawbacks? I guess she was kind of needy at times and turned everything into such a big deal that I didn't know what the fuck really was a big deal and what wasn't. She didn't like or dislike games. She did not mind that I played. She liked that I had a hobby I enjoyed. She even watched me fully play through MGS1, 2, 3, 4, PW, GZ, Uncharted 1, 2, 3, and TLoU. She loved throwing herself in my interests. That's something I didn't do with her. I didn't take interest in the things she enjoyed and whatnot.

 

[kingwingin]

Lately I've been having anxiety about dying. I never go to doctors because I think I know my body very well. I'm pretty sure I have hemmorhoids and vericocole but I've been having freak outs that it's cancer.

I've had issues with hemmorhoids for about 7 years now and it comes and goes, last few days have been super bad. A lot of pain and blood. Combine that with my gf and I are starting to see less of each other(I'm sleeping over 5 days a week rather than 7), all I can see is cancer and me laying in a bed dying. I worry when I drive home from her place I get into a car accident. I'm terrified of dying and leaving her alone and sad.

I'm going to see.a doctor tomorrow just to make sure I'm in good enough health but I'm laying here racking my brain.

I did see one for my vericocole and it pretty much dissapeared when I got there, was nervous so my junk hid like a frightened turtle, but he assured me no cancer lumps.

Last year I was in an abusive relationship and wanted nothing more to die, prayed daily to die in my sleep. Now a year later I've found the girl of my dreams and regret what I wished for. Tho I don't believe in that kind of stuff, just feel dumb

 

[Ashes]

She had a great body minus some fat around the midsection. Her biggest drawbacks? I guess she was kind of needy at times and turned everything into such a big deal that I didn't know what the fuck really was a big deal and what wasn't. She didn't like or dislike games. She did not mind that I played. She liked that I had a hobby I enjoyed. She even watched me fully play through MGS1, 2, 3, 4, PW, GZ, Uncharted 1, 2, 3, and TLoU. She loved throwing herself in my interests. That's something I didn't do with her. I didn't take interest in the things she enjoyed and whatnot.

Again, nothing there seems out of the ordinary for any half decent girlfriend. You sure she didn't cook high end cuisine or something? Was she exceptionally literate? Outstandingly witty?

Thus far, she seems only okay tbh. Maybe she was just hot? Was she just hot?

 

[Buckethead]

I'm at a point where I'm just exhausted at how fucked I am with life and am tired of trying.

It's all a vicious cycle of bullshit.

 

[Palpable]

Again, nothing there seems out of the ordinary for any half decent girlfriend. You sure she didn't cook high end cuisine or something? Was she exceptionally literate? Outstandingly witty?

Thus far, she seems only okay tbh. Maybe she was just hot? Was she just hot?

She was hot and smart, yes. She was very witty. Great values. She was a good cook as well. Until I find someone as good or better, I'm going to have a tough time believing the whole 'not out of the ordinary' thing. How many women go to law school at 20?

 

[Ashes]

She was hot and smart, yes. She was very witty. Great values. She was a good cook as well. Until I find someone as good or better, I'm going to have a tough time believing the whole 'not out of the ordinary' thing. How many women go to law school at 20?

In the UK? Lots. Seriously, everything about this girlfriend is normal. I say she sounds normal to me. Everything you want from a girlfriend is normal too.

It is unhealthy to want a replica ex +1 though.

On a separate issue, I don't really adhere to the whole 'I only go out with hot beautiful women' agenda. Seems a bit superficial to me. But that's me. And you have to be you.

How long have you been separated?