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[electricshake]

he sounds exactly like me. even if i am super into someone i still feel shy and awkward making moves. i would love for the lady to do them so i can get comfortable.

Yeh my bf was pretty shy so I had to make the first move. Took till the third date as I didn't get a proper opportunity on previous dates but was worth the wait. He seemed pretty relieved after, think he was glad he didn't have to make the first move.

 

[Arsenic Yellow]

he sounds exactly like me. even if i am super into someone i still feel shy and awkward making moves. i would love for the lady to do them so i can get comfortable.

That's the confusing thing though. We've made out in bed three times now ( mostly me initiating it but he will get more into it as things go). At some point you should be able to start making moves on your own right? Like especially if we are in public and I've come up to see you. I don't want to make him uncomfortable, but at the same time I want to feel flattered as well, for someone, even if they are shy, to initiate things. I feel as if this happens a lot in my dating scene and it really affects my insecurities as well :/ yeah I understand if you're shy, but not if the moves have already been made in the past.

I mean I'm just starting to accept right now that i may actually be attractive. I've had a lot of serious insecurities. Actions like these begin to bring all those feelings back :/

 

[Echelon079]

That's the confusing thing though. We've made out in bed three times now ( mostly me initiating it but he will get more into it as things go). At some point you should be able to start making moves on your own right? Like especially if we are in public and I've come up to see you. I don't want to make him uncomfortable, but at the same time I want to feel flattered as well, for someone, even if they are shy, to initiate things. I feel as if this happens a lot in my dating scene and it really affects my insecurities as well :/ yeah I understand if you're shy, but not if the moves have already been made in the past.

I mean I'm just starting to accept right now that i may actually be attractive. I've had a lot of serious insecurities. Actions like these begin to bring all those feelings back :/

You have to be careful with those emotions. I was in an abusive marriage for 7 years, as a guy, that killed my self esteem. 8 months after we separated I was finally feeling good about myself for the first time in my life. I met another girl and we moved in together and the way she treated me did worse for my esteem then my marriage. So now its starting all over again. It really, really sucks because for me I can't seem to gain that confidence unless its through the attention of the opposite sex.

 

[mullet2000]

Man, feels good when a cool woman sends you a super enthusiastic initial okcupid message. Or any initiating message really, but this back and forth also went very well. I've got a date early next week.

Might be too early for this, I just got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship 2 1/2 months ago...but we'll see. No harm in trying and seeing where I'm at about the whole thing.

 

[War Peaceman]

That's the confusing thing though. We've made out in bed three times now ( mostly me initiating it but he will get more into it as things go). At some point you should be able to start making moves on your own right? Like especially if we are in public and I've come up to see you. I don't want to make him uncomfortable, but at the same time I want to feel flattered as well, for someone, even if they are shy, to initiate things. I feel as if this happens a lot in my dating scene and it really affects my insecurities as well :/ yeah I understand if you're shy, but not if the moves have already been made in the past.

I mean I'm just starting to accept right now that i may actually be attractive. I've had a lot of serious insecurities. Actions like these begin to bring all those feelings back :/

Have you tried telling him this? He's probably just nervous and a little unsure of his place; not wanting to be disrespectful.

 

[Arsenic Yellow]

You have to be careful with those emotions. I was in an abusive marriage for 7 years, as a guy, that killed my self esteem. 8 months after we separated I was finally feeling good about myself for the first time in my life. I met another girl and we moved in together and the way she treated me did worse for my esteem then my marriage. So now its starting all over again. It really, really sucks because for me I can't seem to gain that confidence unless its through the attention of the opposite sex.

I actually came from a really abusive background. My mother had bulimia and physically/mentally abused me, including picking apart my face and body (putting a giant lighted magnifying glass to look at the pores on my face) Then in my early 20s I was in an abusive relationship. I ended up developing bad ED habits, both restricting and binging/purging. I'm only now getting over things within the last 3 years or so, and I've recently stopped my binging/purging. For a long time (14-23) I completely equated self worth with someone's sexual desire for me. Since then I've been getting much better, much healthier about the way I look and the way I value myself, and I really like this guy and I should try to ignore these feelings, but it's hard to tell the difference between shyness and disinterest.

Have you tried telling him this? He's probably just nervous and a little unsure of his place; not wanting to be disrespectful.

I was talking to a friend about it, I have no idea how to even begin talking to him about it without feeling like I'm pressuring him or emasculating him. It's gotten to the point that we will probably have a date saturday and if its a date in public, it's almost a disappointment because I'll be wondering the entire time if I'm going to get any physical affection. I'd rather just stay home and watch movies with him and talk all day, which I would suggest but I don't know if he'd find that boring or if its too soon to suggest an all day indoor date. At this point I don't know if I should back away and let him come to me completely, as I'm starting to even wonder if this is worth this anxiety. It sucks to because like I said, I have totally become smitten and really dig this guy.

 

[n64coder]

Tealuxe.

Harvard Square? I remember going there for a nightcap with my wife on our second date. She's a big tea drinker (I'm not) and suggested going there for dessert/tea. I said sure and have a cup of tea with lots of milk which is the way she ordered it. The only thing I can remember from that night 17 years ago is having major gas and having to hold it in while there on a date. My wife still brings up the fact today that I pretended to like tea.

And omg date over and this boy ain't got game. I'm super into him, maybe he isn't into me. I get one really awkward goodbye kiss. So awkward I actually say "ok I'm gonna need a real goodbye kiss" and kissed him a second time. AND I get a one arm patting hug. He asked if I was busy Saturday so yeah I guess we will have another date planned . That's a good sign, but this guy... I almost wonder if he's a gaffer in secret.

I'm guessing that he's inexperienced and is probably afraid of making the wrong move.

 

[bcl0328]

Man, feels good when a cool woman sends you a super enthusiastic initial okcupid message. Or any initiating message really, but this back and forth also went very well. I've got a date early next week.

Might be too early for this, I just got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship 2 1/2 months ago...but we'll see. No harm in trying and seeing where I'm at about the whole thing.

one in a million. i've liked so many girls on these dating sites and only one initiated with me and she said Hi

we're still talking and as far as i know we're going out after she works saturday.

i hope this one works out.

I was talking to a friend about it, I have no idea how to even begin talking to him about it without feeling like I'm pressuring him or emasculating him. It's gotten to the point that we will probably have a date saturday and if its a date in public, it's almost a disappointment because I'll be wondering the entire time if I'm going to get any physical affection. I'd rather just stay home and watch movies with him and talk all day, which I would suggest but I don't know if he'd find that boring or if its too soon to suggest an all day indoor date. At this point I don't know if I should back away and let him come to me completely, as I'm starting to even wonder if this is worth this anxiety. It sucks to because like I said, I have totally become smitten and really dig this guy.

just tell him straight up. you could even copy and paste what you've said here. if a girl i was interested in told me all of what you said i would feel so flattered and it would make me super comfortable around her in the future. honest communication goes so far.

 

[War Peaceman]

I was talking to a friend about it, I have no idea how to even begin talking to him about it without feeling like I'm pressuring him or emasculating him. It's gotten to the point that we will probably have a date saturday and if its a date in public, it's almost a disappointment because I'll be wondering the entire time if I'm going to get any physical affection. I'd rather just stay home and watch movies with him and talk all day, which I would suggest but I don't know if he'd find that boring or if its too soon to suggest an all day indoor date. At this point I don't know if I should back away and let him come to me completely, as I'm starting to even wonder if this is worth this anxiety. It sucks to because like I said, I have totally become smitten and really dig this guy.

If you are clear about why it bothers you, a sensible person wouldn't mind. Many might appreciate it. From what you've said, it feels like he is just uncertain about boundaries at this moment (which may be illogical given what you say that you have done, but we are all guilty of that)

If he is emasculated by it and it damages the relationship, then it makes no difference to letting the anxiety build up and potentially ruin a good thing. So you might as well try and get what you want.

People - and I'm guilty of it myself - really need to be way more explicit in their feelings. It saves a lot of stress and hassle that is usually over nothing.

 

[Flying Toaster]

just tell him straight up. you could even copy and paste what you've said here. if a girl i was interested in told me all of what you said i would feel so flattered and it would make me super comfortable around her in the future. honest communication goes so far.

Yeah at this point you should just tell him. Some men are daft at this sort of thing. I know I am and at this point if he is not getting it then you need to spell it out for him.

Although hopefully he becomes comfortable and adapts to your advances some people just don't ever get past their comfort bubble.

 

[Arsenic Yellow]

Harvard Square? I remember going there for a nightcap with my wife on our second date. She's a big tea drinker (I'm not) and suggested going there for dessert/tea. I said sure and have a cup of tea with lots of milk which is the way she ordered it. The only thing I can remember from that night 17 years ago is having major gas and having to hold it in while there on a date. My wife still brings up the fact today that I pretended to like tea.



I'm guessing that he's inexperienced and is probably afraid of making the wrong move.

Yeah harvard square! I love that area. Haha, that milk must've killed you. And yeah I guess he may be inexperienced. I know he got out of a year long relationship a little over a year ago, so I know at least he's not a virgin. I could continue making the first move but then I start worrying about his actual interest.

You shy boys kill me, sucks cause I'm just as shy. He was leaning into me a bit during the movie and our arms were touching and my face was bright red the whole time. :/

 

[bcl0328]

You shy boys kill me, sucks cause I'm just as shy. He was leaning into me a bit during the movie and our arms were touching and my face was bright red the whole time. :/

reading that even me feel red lol i know how that feels.

i wish i was more touchy feely with my dates. i wanted to hold her hand and put my arm around her waist, but was too scared =\

i really think that turned her away from me and that's why she went for another dude who was probably all over her. who knows...

 

[Arsenic Yellow]

reading that even me feel red lol i know how that feels.

i wish i was more touchy feely with my dates. i wanted to hold her hand and put my arm around her waist, but was too scared =\

i really think that turned her away from me and that's why she went for another dude who was probably all over her. who knows...

Whats the worst that could happen if you decided to do it? Yeah its scary but theres something exhilarating about taking the chance. If you don't do it then you already already know the outcome: Absolutely nothing. The worst that could happen is she rejects you, but then she wasn't worth the time to begin with.

Ugh, I feel the type A personality in me starting to come out, I've already started planning this weekends date (he planned last weekend). Harpoon Brewery tour, take him to china town to get egg puffs. Go to the Mappararium then maybe some hot chocolate at a chocolate bar. If it goes well I'll invite him back to my place again. Do you think that's too overwhelming?

 

[Valus]

Guys, there's nothing wrong with showing physical affection. What are you so afraid of? Coodies? Rejection? Disgust?

If a woman you're seeing physically recoils back in disgust when you attempt to touch her then congratulations, you've just learned that she doesn't like you the way you like her.

You have a woman right here telling you why you should do it and telling you that she will like it. Learn from it, stop saying crap like "but I'm so shy and omg just hearing about physically touching makes me blush from my computer chair." Don't be that guy that's constantly sending out mixed messages because of shyness. Assert yourself a little.

 

[bcl0328]

Whats the worst that could happen if you decided to do it? Yeah its scary but theres something exhilarating about taking the chance. If you don't do it then you already already know the outcome: Absolutely nothing. The worst that could happen is she rejects you, but then she wasn't worth the time to begin with.

Ugh, I feel the type A personality in me starting to come out, I've already started planning this weekends date (he planned last weekend). Harpoon Brewery tour, take him to china town to get egg puffs. Go to the Mappararium then maybe some hot chocolate at a chocolate bar. If it goes well I'll invite him back to my place again. Do you think that's too overwhelming?

Guys, there's nothing wrong with showing physical affection. What are you so afraid of? Coodies? Rejection? Disgust?

If a woman you're seeing physically recoils back in disgust when you attempt to touch her then congratulations, you've just learned that she doesn't like you the way you like her.

You have a woman right here telling you why you should do it and telling you that she will like it. Learn from it, stop saying crap like "but I'm so shy and omg just hearing about physically touching makes me blush from my computer chair." Don't be that guy that's constantly sending out mixed messages because of shyness. Assert yourself a little.

i don't know what is stopping me. i know if a girl went out with me for a reason then she likes me and she would like me to touch her. it's all a mental block. i just can't get over it and i don't know how.

 

[Valus]

i don't know what is stopping me. i know if a girl went out with me for a reason then she likes me and she would like me to touch her. it's all a mental block. i just can't get over it and i don't know how.

Yes, you do know what's stopping you. Don't fool yourself. Look in the mirror and ask yourself that question. "Why am I so afraid to make a move?" You know the answer, it's there. You are the master of your temple, there's nothing about you that you don't know. If you want our help, find out that answer and come back to us so we can advise.

 

[Arsenic Yellow]

i don't know what is stopping me. i know if a girl went out with me for a reason then she likes me and she would like me to touch her. it's all a mental block. i just can't get over it and i don't know how.

My ex had the same problem and I vowed not to go for that type again . It ends up coming off as very uninterested and really draining. It can also tell us you're bored with the date and make us feel very self aware and uncomfortable.

Now look where I'm at, if I didn't have so many insane things in common with him (our goals, philosophies are exactly the same) and wasnt attracted to him physically, I'd drop him by now. At least he's a good kisser in bed.

 

[bcl0328]

My ex had the same problem and I vowed not to go for that type again. It ends up coming off as very uninterested and really draining. It can also tell us you're bored with the date and make us feel very self aware and uncomfortable.

well it wouldn't be permanent. it's not like i would stay that way forever. i mean on the first date, yea i might be like that. i just need time to get to know people first. then i really open up and will do anything. i feel like i didn't get that chance.

your dude might be a little extreme though. if i've already made out with a girl then i would have no problem making a move in the future.

 

[ZombieFred]

People have issues with physical contact? Blimey, over here in the UK generally a fair amount of guys and girls love and express physical intimacy a lot to people they are heavily attracted to. You've just got to see the signs and go in for the kiss and grab if the signs are there. There's been plenty of women and previous dates/relationships I've had with lots of physical touch and kissing (and more) on first dates and encounters. I don't see why people should be shy if there's a lot of chemistry and a lot of attraction in each other.

 

[zeemumu]

Does anyone have any advice for starting conversations using actual words? I don't know why, but most people that I speak to are either people who spoke to me first or people whose attention I got with nonverbal communication, like a small but sincere wave (which works okay but still), but actually walking up to someone and starting a conversation with "hi" is lost to me.

 

[bcl0328]

People have issues with physical contact? Blimey, over here in the UK generally a fair amount of guys and girls love and express physical intimacy a lot to people they are heavily attracted to. You've just got to see the signs and go in for the kiss and grab if the signs are there.

i'm just not good at social interaction in general. i hardly say hi first, i don't call people by their names, i'm a pretty quiet guy overall. touching is just so far out there for me i don't even think about it. i have a ton of mental barriers, i'm working on them.

 

[ZombieFred]

Does anyone have any advice for starting conversations using actual words? I don't know why, but most people that I speak to are either people who spoke to me first or people whose attention I got with nonverbal communication, like a small but sincere wave (which works okay but still), but actually walking up to someone and starting a conversation with "hi" is lost to me.

Just start any conversation really, just bring up a general topic that relates both of you in the room (or clothing, likes, etc) and then start from there. A quick hello and then bringing up a curious question is a nice casual way to do it.

 

[ZombieFred]

i'm just not good at social interaction in general. i hardly say hi first, i don't call people by their names, i'm a pretty quiet guy overall. touching is just so far out there for me i don't even think about it. i have a ton of mental barriers, i'm working on them.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I was 17 with my first serious relationship and I was had some introverted characteristics but I still had my hormones and drive kicking in and always taken the bold step and first move on potential things. I think going out and socializing, having a few drinks to loosen yourself up and start talking to people you don't know is a good way of removing barriers. You'd be amazed how much you realized how simple thing are and not everything is mentally scary in your head as you may think. My time out drinking a lot when I made friends after a long term break up really helped define who I am and learned a lot about dating and social barriers. I am 24 now and had quite a few opportunities of relationships but didn't go further since I am happy going with the flow to find the right person for me that has the same interests and is genuinely interested in me as a person. A lot of people out there on the drinking/dating scene can be daunting but you just have to be patient and remember to be you while you look for the right girl.

That's the biggest thing I will stick to and will always recommend to a lot of people who are single; always find the person you feel that you can be happy with 100 percent for a long term and accepts you for you who are and vis versa. If you can't have that and not communicate properly then you're going to be in for some super tough times. I have seen relationships with a lot of people around me fail or end up in disaster because of this. It's always good to remember that there's always more than right person out there for you but you've just got to be at the right place and time and be patient for it. And until then, focus on yourself and do the things that make you feel happy and fulfilled on a independent level.

 

[grap3fruitman]

I still need to address the concerns on the last page but I wanted to touch on this:

Whats the worst that could happen if you decided to do it?

Is she even interested? What if she slaps you? What if she screams "Rape!"? Plus a hundred other potential outcomes just as bad besides her just not reciprocating.

 

[Flying Toaster]

I still need to address the concerns on the last page but I wanted to touch on this:

Is she even interested? What if she slaps you? What if she screams "Rape!"? Plus a hundred other potential outcomes just as bad besides her just not reciprocating.

You know what. I can understand this feeling and thought process I really can. I am not even going to argue against it. But I do know that when I live in my shell or operate within my safety zone I loose a lot of chances to meet great people and potential partners.

Its a hard thing to deal with but you need to find some sort of even ground.

 

[Valus]

I still need to address the concerns on the last page but I wanted to touch on this:

Is she even interested? What if she slaps you? What if she screams "Rape!"? Plus a hundred other potential outcomes just as bad besides her just not reciprocating.

You'll find out very quickly if she's interested. So what if she slaps you? So what if she screams RAPE?

What else do you got? We can go through every scenario if that's what you need.

 

[turtle553]

I still need to address the concerns on the last page but I wanted to touch on this:

Is she even interested? What if she slaps you? What if she screams "Rape!"? Plus a hundred other potential outcomes just as bad besides her just not reciprocating.

She won't do that if you lean in for a kiss or try to hold her hand. Maybe she will turn away or distance herself. Unless she is a total psychopath, these are normal things that happen on dates which she presumably liked you enough to go out on. It's like worrying everyday that a meteor will come and crash into you. Could it happen? Sure, but extremely unlikely.

 

[stn]

Legit question here that I still don't get.
Why do ex's message you? Then cut off responding. It's normally the hey, how you're doing, etc. Then after you respond back and forth a few times, they just stop.

People may want your validation and approval even if they're not in a relationship with you. Most of them do it out of insecurity, some of them do it out of their own obsession, and some do it in order to feel like they have some sort of mental advantage over you. Just stop responding if its annoying, you're not obligated to reply. If you know that your ex is going to message you and then cease replying at one point, tell yourself in advance you won't even bother. The only way to win the "game" is to not play it.

Is she even interested? What if she slaps you? What if she screams "Rape!"? Plus a hundred other potential outcomes just as bad besides her just not reciprocating.

Dude, c'mon. Now you're just being ridiculous. Is she interested or not? Who gives a fuck. You will never be liked by everyone, deal with it. There will always be some girl who rejects you, its up to you to find one that won't. What if she slaps you or screams? Well, now you know she's crazy and not to be pursued. With this mindset you might as well live in a bomb shelter for the rest of your life.

EDIT: I can at least understand if you have insecurities based on looks, for example. We all go through that sometimes and it makes us hesitate to pursue someone. But taking it even further and wondering if you're going to be slapped, and all that other stuff? Ridiculous.

 

[grap3fruitman]

You'll find out very quickly if she's interested. So what if she slaps you? So what if she screams RAPE?

Okay, you get taken to jail and fight that in court. Have fun being a registered sex offender.

Edit: How am I being ridiculous?

 

[Flying Toaster]

Okay, you get taken to jail and fight that in court. Have fun being a registered sex offender.

Edit: How am I being ridiculous?

Wow... when I read what you write... wow that was me 13 years ago. It took very understanding friends and a crazy awesome group of people to get me to where I am today. Frankly I have a long way to go and thats why I am paying attention to this thread because there is a lot of help being offered here.

You should also look at talking to a professional to help you through some of these social anxiety issues you clearly have.

 

[Valus]

Okay, you get taken to jail and fight that in court. Have fun being a registered sex offender.

Edit: How am I being ridiculous?

When did I say that? If you get slapped, you leave. If she screams rape, you leave. She's obviously not the one for you. Come on, what else do you got?

 

[bcl0328]

When did I say that? If you get slapped, you leave. If she screams rape, you leave. She's obviously not the one for you. Come on, what else do you got?

i would be an emotional wreck for a while after that.

 

[grap3fruitman]

EDIT: I can at least understand if you have insecurities based on looks, for example. We all go through that sometimes and it makes us hesitate to pursue someone. But taking it even further and wondering if you're going to be slapped, and all that other stuff? Ridiculous.

Again, how is that ridiculous? You don't touch another person without their permission and kissing is seriously crossing the line on the list of things that would get your ass in trouble.

When did I say that? If you get slapped, you leave. If she screams rape, you leave. She's obviously not the one for you. Come on, what else do you got?

So then what do you do when you get arrested for sexually assaulting a women?

 

[Flying Toaster]

i would be an emotional wreck for a while after that.

Yes, a lot of people would and with good reason. But honestly if things got that out of hand Valus is right... Move on.

Something clearly was not right in the head for the situation to deteriorate so quickly for something like screaming rape to happen.

 

[Flying Toaster]

Again, how is that ridiculous? You don't touch another person without their permission and kissing is seriously crossing the line on the list of things that would get your ass in trouble.


So then what do you do when you get arrested for sexually assaulting a women?

Unless you straight up sexually assaulted said woman. There would be an investigation it would be a mental and emotionally trying experience but I doubt you would be thrown to the dogs and branded a sexual predator as after the investigation concluded if you truly did not sexually assault any one you would be cleared.

 

[Valus]

i would be an emotional wreck for a while after that.

Why? Is it because you define self-worth with positive attention from women?

Edit: What I'm trying to get at is this: if a crazy batshit person did something as outrageous as that to you, you shouldn't let them get to you. They are obviously the fucked up person in that scenario, not you.

Again, how is that ridiculous? You don't touch another person without their permission and kissing is seriously crossing the line on the list of things that would get your ass in trouble.

She won't do that if you lean in for a kiss or try to hold her hand. Maybe she will turn away or distance herself. Unless she is a total psychopath, these are normal things that happen on dates which she presumably liked you enough to go out on. It's like worrying everyday that a meteor will come and crash into you. Could it happen? Sure, but extremely unlikely.

So then what do you do when you get arrested for sexually assaulting a women?

You won't get arrested for sexual assault by touching a woman, even if she doesn't want you to. Understand the law if you're going to throw out garbage like that. What's up next, Grape?

 

[stn]

Again, how is that ridiculous? You don't touch another person without their permission and kissing is seriously crossing the line on the list of things that would get your ass in trouble.


So then what do you do when you get arrested for sexually assaulting a women?

If you're seeing a girl more than once, you make a move at some point. In fact, girls will expect you to make a move. No girl is going to explicitly say "I give you permission to kiss me now". Girls want you to make a move as long as its done politely and without aggression (see: Arsenic Yellow's posts mentioning that her current guy isn't being assertive enough). That means leaning in to kiss but being ready to withdraw if you're refused. Its that easy. Only some crazy idiot is going to accuse you of rape because of that.

 

[grap3fruitman]

Can we have some women chime in because I think it's you guys that are being ridiculous.

 

[paparazzo]

From day 1 of Dating OT1:

Dear OP, you're asking one of the geekiest internet forums for dating advice, on a Friday night. Do you think the responses you'll get will be from people who know what they're talking about?

I'm in a similar situation, however not quite your age (22), and I've been asking the internet for advice for several years. Can you tell I'm bitter?

Yeah dude, it's pretty clear you still have the same issues you did in 2009. Not sure why you keep coming back for advice on something you refuse to work on and made up your mind on long time ago.

 

[Flying Toaster]

If you're seeing a girl more than once, you make a move at some point. In fact, girls will expect you to make a move. No girl is going to explicitly say "I give you permission to kiss me now". Girls want you to make a move as long as its done politely and without aggression (see: Arsenic Yellow's posts mentioning that her current guy isn't being assertive enough). That means leaning in to kiss but being ready to withdraw if you're refused. Its that easy. Only some crazy idiot is going to accuse you of rape because of that.

I am starting to think something traumatic happened with the opposite sex for Grape because even though normal anxiety throws up roadblocks he seems to really have a structured what if horror plan on mind for everything.

 

[grap3fruitman]

From day 1 of Dating OT1:

Yeah dude, it's pretty clear you still have the same issues you did in 2009. Not sure why you keep coming back for advice on something you refuse to work on and made up your mind on long time ago.

How am I supposed to work on my dating issues by not asking in the dating advice thread?

 

[turtle553]

Can we have some women chime in because I think it's you guys that are being ridiculous.

You claim to want advice from the same people who you think are being ridiculous for explaining from personal experience how dating works in the real world. Even if a hundred females claimed in this forum that they would be fine (like Arsenic Yellow did earlier), you would just discount it as not representative of the whole population of 160 million women in the US. Then even from them, you would discount it's not representative of the 3.5 billion females on Earth.

 

[Flying Toaster]

How am I supposed to work on my dating issues by not asking in the dating advice thread?

Ok at this point we need to see things as they are.

You are asking for advice. But you are negative and you have major obstacles in place that will not allow said advice given to you by various posters to actually work.

 

[stn]

Can we have some women chime in because I think it's you guys that are being ridiculous.

Okay, let me ask you this. You've routinely stated you know nothing about women, that you constantly fail with them, and that you don't know how to fix what's wrong. Based on that, why would you even trust your own perspective on the matter over someone else's?

 

[grap3fruitman]

So I'm wrong in thinking that sexually assaulting a woman on a date is bad?

 

[Silent_Ocarina]

So I'm wrong in thinking that sexually assaulting a woman on a date is bad?

What? Holding a girl's hand or putting your arm around her or going in for a kiss is sexual assault?

 

[turtle553]

So I'm wrong in thinking that sexually assaulting a woman on a date is bad?

Hold up with the strawman argument. Describe the exact scenario that you believe to be sexual assault.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

So then what do you do when you get arrested for sexually assaulting a women?

If you honestly believe this is a reasonable response then you need to go get mental help. Stop arguing here and finally go to a psychologist to help you through the issues you are having. Believing that attempting to kiss a girl you've been on a date with will get you locked in jail and become a registered sex offender is beyond illogical and not normal. You have to resolve that first. No one here can fix that. You need to get professional help, not a message board.

So I'm wrong in thinking that sexually assaulting a woman on a date is bad?

SEEK HELP

Or at the very least a dictionary.

 

[paparazzo]

How am I supposed to work on my dating issues by not asking in the dating advice thread?

If by "asking" you mean repeatedly arguing with posters in dating advice threads time and again over the years (even though you've admittedly never been successful), then I'm not sure how that works. I mean, you're doing it on this very page.

Combine was perm-banned for less.

 

[ClosingADoor]

I think by this point it is clear Grape can not get the help he needs here. That's ok. But if you want to work on these issues, please get a professional involved, because from your posts you clearly could use one. I really hope some day you can get over your problems.