Okay I have some questions, Dating-Age. Some background:
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I decided to try out OKCupid about two weeks ago. I actually had a pretty positive experience, got a good number of responses and I scheduled two dates, one of which was cancelled. The other one is scheduled for this Friday and is the girl I'm way more into anyway.
We've actually been texting about twice a day since last Monday. This weekend we texted a bunch more than that, too. She's really busy with work this week and last because auditors are there till the end of the month, and she wanted to get that behind her before going out. Seems fair, and her texts have been pretty enthusiastic and inquisitive, so I have no reason to think negatively about it. I know some people say texting too much before the date can kinda spoil the conversation, but it's been pretty nice, she seems pretty clearly into me, and I feel like I have a tons of ammo to talk about on the actual date now.
ANYWAY, she told me that she's never done an online date before, and is a little nervous about it. It's also my first time doing an online date, I told her that and she was happy to hear that, and said it was relieving.
This is, in fact, my first first-date since I was 19 (I'm 23 1/2 now), as at that age I got into a 3 1/2 year relationship that ended at the start of November. On top of that every relationship I've been in (two others) has been physically intimate before the first date, and with people I've known and talked to before the date (or even anything physical) had happened. I don't have much experience with "dating" the "normal" way.
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I'm not nervous per-say (I'm a good socializer and have been good on dates in the past) but I have some maybe obvious questions I want to ask to avoid some pitfalls if possible. I also get that the real answer to many of these is "whatever feels right", I'm just trying to get a general sense of the social norms of these:
-Kissing. Every first 'date' I've been on has been after I've already kissed the girl. What's too soon or too late? Given that this girl admitted she is a bit nervous my gut tells me that maybe I should hold off on a kiss until a potential second date? Or is that a norm regardless?
-The actual date. If things are going well (we're going for coffee) is it appropriate to ask them to go somewhere else after you're "done" at the first venue (or is that too much too quick, clingy, etc) or is it better to just leave the first date as that activity and express interest in doing something again?
-On the note above, I get that if I want to go on a second date I should say something along the lines of "we should go out again" at the end of the date, but how should actually scheduling it work? When is too soon? Like this is Friday, I assume asking to do something say, that weekend would be "too soon"? Would something like getting dinner in the middle of the week be good? The following weekend too big of a gap? Also when should I do this? Text after the date with a specific day for the next date in mind? Or is that too quick? I don't like "playing games" but I also don't want to do something overbearing or something.
-When is it appropriate to invite the girl over to your place as a date? My gut says third date? The way physical intimacy has worked for me has meant a lot of my first dates have actually been at my place, but that does not seem like the norm to me.
Uhhh that's all I can think of at the moment. Sorry, I know it's a long post hahaha. I just don't want to do something awkward. I realize that when I actually go on the date things will likely just flow and be fine, though.
