If you wouldn't date transgender people, where do you begin to regard their gender?

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Ishida

Banned
repeatedly calling the hypothetical trans woman a guy is what you did.

I really don't care at this point.

Well, that's my opinion. But what you are doing is constantly telling other people to fuck off or calling them assholes.

Disagree with my opinion all you want, that's completely fine, but stop with the insults please.

EDIT: You know what? I'm out of the thread now. I don't want to start a controversy on the pronoun I used and I would keep using. Carry on. Peace.
 

MrHoot

Member
I'm starting to think it's actually a very negative thing to tell people upfront about who you use to be. As it might lead to more drama than it's worth, most relationships aren't for life anyway, but tend to shatter after the initial period of lust and love is over. So not telling someone upfront about your switch could actually do far more good than bad.

It might. I mean, i'm not taking myself as a reference and I was only approached by a transwoman twice (in clubs, usually I was the one being hit on, and twice I was really not into it, despite the women looking pretty fine by my personal tastes).

Maybe if someday it happens to me i'll change my mind ? Again, I don't want to put myself above fate/future happenings, just stating what I feel right now as some random cis-pleb
 

Kinsei

Banned
Well, that's my opinion. But what you are doing is constantly telling other people to fuck off or calling them assholes.

Disagree with my opinion all you want, that's completely fine, but stop with the insults please.

You're saying I;m not who I know I am so no it's not just your fucking opinion.
 

MrHoot

Member
Sounds extremely silly. I would have zero attraction to a transman, because I have no interest in the male- form.

"Attraction" might be strong a word that I used :p I was mostly imagining something silly in my head. I'm not homosexual so in the end I wouldn't go out with a transman as well anyway. But I dunno, I guess imagination plays a role in my own brain
 

lord quas

Member
Well, that's my opinion. But what you are doing is constantly telling other people to fuck off or calling them assholes.

Disagree with my opinion all you want, that's completely fine, but stop with the insults please.

But you do realize you're insulting trans women when refering to them with 'him' or 'he' right? I'm sure it's just Kinsei's opinion that you're an asshole too.
 
No, and theres nothing wrong with it. Sexual attraction is a big part of a relation. I'm not some bigoted monster because I'm not attracted to her. Why am I some kind of bigoted monster because I won't have sex with a transgendered person? I have no issues with them, I support them fully but, I couldn't be turned on.
 
Well, that's my opinion. But what you are doing is constantly telling other people to fuck off or calling them assholes.

Disagree with my opinion all you want, that's completely fine, but stop with the insults please.

EDIT: You know what? I'm out of the thread now. I don't want to start a controversy on the pronoun I used and I would keep using. Carry on. Peace.

Deliberately calling someone the incorrect pronoun based on the gender they were born with is not an opinion. You can't in all good faith see a woman and then say "oh, that's a man. That's just how I feel about it." That's just being a dick.
 
Oh hey, I look back in and this thread has moved on to outright using incorrect pronouns because "that's my opinion". Lol, fuck this thread. People aren't even pretending to vaguely tolerate trans people in here anymore, it's outright explicit rejection. I'm sure once we give a few more hours it'll turn into how guys need to beat us disgusting and deceptive trannies into our place.
 
I've seen a lot of trans men that I find attractive. Ultimately, whether I'd date one depends on how much baggage they have. I'm fairly easy going, so I don't want someone who makes it a struggle to live every day, but I'm not opposed in principle. It probably also helps that I don't care about children right now.
 
Well, that's my opinion. But what you are doing is constantly telling other people to fuck off or calling them assholes.

Disagree with my opinion all you want, that's completely fine, but stop with the insults please.
Still, it's completely insensitive to use these pronouns gratuitously like that: they don't further your point in any way and are hurtful to people who have to cope with enough shit in their daily life without your grammatical peculiarisms.

Honestly, go lurk and read a few pages of the transgender thread, that should give you some perspective.
 

Soph

Member
A lie of omission is still a lie. The first duty is to the truth, whether it's scientific truth, or historical truth, or personal truth. It is the guiding principle on which we are based.

A white lie to prevent needless drama

Maybe if someday it happens to me i'll change my mind ? Again, I don't want to put myself above fate/future happenings, just stating what I feel right now as some random cis-pleb

Not trying to make you change your mind, trying to think in solutions, rather than going down the same lane's we been down a thousand times.
 

RM8

Member
Well, that's my opinion. But what you are doing is constantly telling other people to fuck off or calling them assholes.

Disagree with my opinion all you want, that's completely fine, but stop with the insults please.

EDIT: You know what? I'm out of the thread now. I don't want to start a controversy on the pronoun I used and I would keep using. Carry on. Peace.
You're usually a cool guy, it's a bit sad that this is your outlook. You using the wrong pronoun for transgender people is far more insulting for them than anyone calling "asshole" anyone.
 

lexi

Banned
Well, that's my opinion. But what you are doing is constantly telling other people to fuck off or calling them assholes.

Disagree with my opinion all you want, that's completely fine, but stop with the insults please.

I'm seeing this new type of sea-lioning / tone policing quite a bit lately but you have almost perfected it. I really have to step back and commend it, you are a modern day da Vinci.
 
Well, that's my opinion. But what you are doing is constantly telling other people to fuck off or calling them assholes.

Disagree with my opinion all you want, that's completely fine, but stop with the insults please.

EDIT: You know what? I'm out of the thread now. I don't want to start a controversy on the pronoun I used and I would keep using. Carry on. Peace.

Someone else's gender is not your opinion. Either use the correct ones or stick with "they" and "them".
 

23qwerty

Member
oh jeez louise this is getting dark

Surprised it's been allowed to go on this long. Full of people who have very little idea of what they're talking about, misgendering, and saying "transgendered". Surprised I've seen no response to this (not that it's very on topic I suppose):

that is like saying where's someone is racist for prefering white girls over black girls

Because I got a bit of news for you..
 
I don't understand you. It's clear why some people do not want to date transgender women. It's clear why some people would not want to date a republican woman. They're both women, not a distinct set. What is the problem here exactly?
Trans is not a trait. A trans woman does not identify herself as a trans woman, she identifies herself as a woman. A trans man does not identify himself as a trans man but as a man.
 
A lie of omission is still a lie. The first duty is to the truth, whether it's scientific truth, or historical truth, or personal truth. It is the guiding principle on which we are based.

Knowledge as applied to an evolving humanity is a privilege, not a right. People do not base their whole lives around making sure they soak up every modicum of information from every stimulant they come across. The "first duty" you're talking about is learning, not honesty. We're not Knights of the Round dedicated to perpetiating some grand abiding truth. People do not owe one another dick when it comes to knowledge. Plenty of people prefer not to disclose particular elements of their lives because of the associated emotional baggage and recalling those experiences subsequently triggering them. We live in a world where a majority are transphobic; don't you think the time transgender individuals spent being the genders they don't identify with might carry a lot of negative weight?
 

esms

Member
Surprised it's been allowed to go on this long. Full of people who have very little idea of what they're talking about, misgendering, and saying "transgendered".

Wait, what? Is "transgendered person (woman, man)" unacceptable? Genuinely curious on the semantics. If it's offensive I'll stop.
 

23qwerty

Member
I hope you're not about to tell me I need to be a pansexual in order to not be a bigot

It's not the least subtle form of racism, but it's not the most subtle either..

Wait, what? Is "transgendered person (woman, man)" unacceptable? Genuinely curious on the semantics. If it's offensive I'll stop.

I wouldn't call it offensive, but it does show how uneducated you are on the topic of gender and/or basic grammar.
No one says "yes hello I am a gendered male", so why would you say transgendered? It's not a verb.
 
I'm surprised to see the term tranny in this thread, is this an accepted term? It was always considered an insult from where I'm from (uk).
 

Darksol

Member
I don't really give a shit in which bathroom people take a shit, and I don't care what people identify as because I'm going to call you by your name, not your sex, gender, or sexual identity.

Hopefully we'll reach a day where this becomes a non-issue.
 
Deliberately calling someone the incorrect pronoun based on the gender they were born with is not an opinion. You can't in all good faith see a woman and then say "oh, that's a man. That's just how I feel about it." That's just being a dick.

Couldn't this be an example of a Ship of Theseus thought experiment?

"The ship wherein Theseus and the youth of Athens returned from Crete had thirty oars, and was preserved by the Athenians down even to the time of Demetrius Phalereus, for they took away the old planks as they decayed, putting in new and stronger timber in their places, in so much that this ship became a standing example among the philosophers, for the logical question of things that grow; one side holding that the ship remained the same, and the other contending that it was not the same."
—Plutarch, Theseus

You could credibly argue that it's still the ship of Theseus, while others might argue that it's an entirely new ship.
 

Jaffaboy

Member
I couldn't date someone that's trans because I'm too selfish, weak, and have irrational standards.

Selfish because I want to make my own children one day.

Weak because I would probably care too much about what other people thought. I'm totally cool with the fact that trans women are women and would never argue against that fact, but the fact that other people don't agree would mean it would be more of a struggle than in a conventional relationship. This goes along with selfish too.

Irrational because I'd be bugged by the fact that they used to have a penis, and I don't think I could get that out of my head. It would most likely effect the relationship negatively because of this disposition.

I'm not proud of any of these qualities, but through dating someone who was naturally born a woman I would immediately eliminate all of these issues instantly. I'd be in a conventional relationship and not have to give them a second thought, and therefore focus more on the relationship like I should.

If some of you think that makes me a terrible person, so be it, but I don't think I'm unlike a good majority of people, and I recognise my weaknesses, and I'm only talking frankly and honestly. I hope that over time my attitudes change, but this is how I feel at this time and I don't actually know what I could do to change them. I agree with all the science and labels and path to equality, but in terms of dating, it's just irrational and illogical.

This is why I feel I can support trans people and their choices in life, and I would stand up for a trans person and the rights of the trans community, but due to my own faults in my character I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone trans. As far as I know, I've never met a trans person and maybe if I did and was initially attracted to them, then maybe that would make me think differently, who knows.
 

wildfire

Banned
It seems like most of the talk in this thread centers around trans women, and I'm curious:

Would you guys date a gay trans man (that is, born female, identifies as male and is attracted to men) if he was otherwise exactly what you were looking for in both appearance and personality?

That's a great question and thank you for trying to flip the perspective.

As long as the attraction is mutual I would be open to that..
 

esms

Member
I wouldn't call it offensive, but it does show how uneducated you are on the topic of gender and/or basic grammar.
No one says "yes hello I am a gendered male", so why would you say transgendered? It's not a verb.

Ah, you're just trying to be a dick. Got it. Carry on.
 
It's a slur.

Okay, thanks.

I always considered it the worst of the worst.

What? It's pretty simple, don't say "transgendered", it makes you look like a moron to anyone even remotely educated in gender discussion and/or basic grammar...

Wouldn't that get confusing in the context of this thread though? Obviously I wouldn't use that term out and about, and would use him or her etc. I really don't want to offend anybody, and didn't mean to and am admittedly unfamiliar with the correct terms, but as it was in the thread title I assumed it was okay, but I am aware of the problems with assumptions.
 
I'm surprised to see the term tranny in this thread, is this an accepted term? It was always considered an insult from where I'm from (uk).

For the record, the two uses I've seen in this thread were myself and another trans woman using it extremely ironically to refer to how we feel this thread's direction is going. Admittedly we should probably use a bit more discretion in that usage of it, since even that is confusing to people and can give the wrong idea.
 
What? It's pretty simple, don't say "transgendered", it makes you look like a moron.

To be fair, most every other trans- is a verb. You transfer, transition, translate, transport, transmogrify. You don't transgender, but it's easy to see why people would think that's the proper grammatical form.

To add on a bit, people hear transgender and they think going from one gender to the other. That's not what it means. It means having a different gender than your sex. A transsexual is one who goes from one sex to the other, as many transgender individuals elect. It's confusing and not unforgivable when people get it wrong.
 

Izuna

Banned
I think it would absolutely be a perfect world. Then, questions like this wouldn't need to come up in the first place. Also, what does my being/not being bisexual matter if I think that it would make the world a better place? I don't have to be something to think that said something would make the world a better/perfect place.

You're saying that peoples' perspective is important, and I don't disagree, but keep in mind that if society were different in this "perfect world" that is completely hypothetical, then there might be a lot of people in this thread who'd think far differently than they do now.



This may seem like it's flying in the face of things I've said, but I don't consider someone who won't have sex with a trans person to be a bigot. To me, a bigot is someone who says "I'll never see a MtF as a female and I will always call him "him" because he's NOT A WOMAN!" My husband was like this until we became friends with a transgender lady and he realized, "holy shit, her chromosomes are irrelevant." He's a "medical guy" so until we actually knew a trans person, he couldn't wrap his head around it.

This is an old post and I tried to follow to see if this conversation continued while I was asleep so forgive me if I already but I couldn't find the posts haha.

1. People's gender is hardly the only question here. Even if people are bisexual they would still prefer one type of genitalia over the other. For as long as something like pre-op would be a thing and there is still a slight difference (especially in the case of FtM) people would still want to know and should know prior, otherwise it would feel rude of them to be shocked or disappointed.

3. Yeah pretty much. I don't like that somehow this sort of bigotry is being compare to not being sexually attracted because someone is trans. It has nothing to do with respecting them considering them the gender they identify with etc. I also can't imagine anyone has any right to ever question that someone is outside of romantically dating someone.
 

esms

Member
What? It's pretty simple, don't say "transgendered", it makes you look like a moron to anyone even remotely educated in gender discussion and/or basic grammar...

You didn't need to follow up your dick remark with another dick remark. I told you I got it.
 

Rajack

Member
What fresh hell is this? Some of y'all need to really learn how to be compassionate and not be enormous balls of hatred and loathing.
 
Couldn't this be an example of a Ship of Theseus thought experiment?

"The ship wherein Theseus and the youth of Athens returned from Crete had thirty oars, and was preserved by the Athenians down even to the time of Demetrius Phalereus, for they took away the old planks as they decayed, putting in new and stronger timber in their places, in so much that this ship became a standing example among the philosophers, for the logical question of things that grow; one side holding that the ship remained the same, and the other contending that it was not the same."
—Plutarch, Theseus

You could credibly argue that it's still the ship of Theseus, while others might argue that it's an entirely new ship.

If you have to dig so far back as to cite Plutarch when justifying nominations regarding modern-day gender politics, I think you're trying a little too hard to stay ignorant. The ship is also an inanimate object and does not prefer to be called a beachwood as opposed to being called by its original build of sandalwood, etc.
 
It's not the least subtle form of racism, but it's not the most subtle either..
when it comes to sexual preferences, I say people can be racist, sexist, homophobic or whatever, what you like is what you like.

Trans is not a trait. A trans woman does not identify herself as a trans woman, she identifies herself as a woman. A trans man does not identify himself as a trans man but as a man.
except it is, unless you want to say that there is no difference between trans and cis-women
 
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