So had my first date (ever) tonight, went really well, no awkward silences, we were both a bit nervous at first but the conversation flowed really well. Got a dinner date planned for Monday
That's awesome
Just be you and have fun.
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- Thread starter Septimius
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That's awesome
Just be you and have fun.
So I met this girl at a party the night before yesterday. Didn't have much time to talk with her, I wasn't feeling great after the drinks either but we were having some fun and I got her number and after telling her i'd love to take her out sometime. So should I just should her a text like "Hey, hope you had fun that night. Do you wanna grab dinner this week?" . I've never been this straightforward before so I'm just wondering what you guys think.
njean777
Member
Set up a date on ok Cupid for today and the girl disabled her account now so I cannot contact her... Typical shit. On to the next one. And no I did not message her very much or harass her at all, matter of fact the last time I talked to her was Friday when we set up that date :/
njean777
Member
Don't know, I mean I wouldn't think you would disable your account when you know you have a date and that is the way we were communicating. That is if she ever had the intention of going on a date with me in the first place, or if she just wanted attention.
Always as for the number. Get away from OCK as a communication medium ASAP.
njean777
Member
Will do in the future
hydragonwarrior
Member
Question on guys who are experts at grinding... if you get to know a girl at the club who's watching others dancing via talking, and she's wiggling to the music, how do you transition from the talk, to the pause, to dancing with her?
Do you straight up ask... or better yet, how do you ask?
Do you straight up ask... or better yet, how do you ask?
This.
Also I'm not sure if this is the case for anyone else, but I find that you still have work to do once you get someone to agree to the idea of going out on a date. I've got numbers and had them not respond, or had them bail on the day of without any desire to reschedule. Try to have a couple options open or maybe a backup plan for something to do in case your plans don't materialize.
Been trying to date a little more recently. Went on two dates with this one girl, the first went pretty well and I think the second did too, but I'm not as sure. I'm going to try for a third (movie night woo) but if it doesn't come off I think I'll be fine with it. We have similar personalities and I think it could work but we don't share too many interests, and I wonder if that's something I need more than most people.
Trying to set something up with a really cute teacher, and I have a date tonight with this girl I met on tinder, which is a first.
Welp, rainy week & my dad's gf's pool isn't ready yet, so no swimming yet, but turns out she's free tomorrow (got a response this morning. She thought she replied earlier & apologized, reconfirmed she was busy last week with work but gets Memorial Day off). She might come over tomorrow (bringing her sis) for grilled pork loin, some games, & such.
On the one hand, yay, she could be coming over & we'll be doing something that isn't sitting & talking over coffee or food, but not sure how much of a move I can make if she's bringing her sister & my family (dad, sis, & maybe my dad's gf) will be home.
....actually, could it be a GOOD thing if she's fine with part of her family meeting mine & doing stuff together? Then I could talk to her alone once the night is done, possibly ending it with a kiss?
.......or did I wait too long & I'm flying too close to the Friend Zone? This is the third time we're seeing each other.
On the one hand, yay, she could be coming over & we'll be doing something that isn't sitting & talking over coffee or food, but not sure how much of a move I can make if she's bringing her sister & my family (dad, sis, & maybe my dad's gf) will be home.
....actually, could it be a GOOD thing if she's fine with part of her family meeting mine & doing stuff together? Then I could talk to her alone once the night is done, possibly ending it with a kiss?
.......or did I wait too long & I'm flying too close to the Friend Zone? This is the third time we're seeing each other.
You're overthinking it. Because you guys are early days and aren't a couple, if she showed up to this barbecue alone your family would assume you two are together and make it awkward for her.
So have a great time, show how fun you are in a group setting and then seal the deal at the end of the night when you're alone with her.
So have a great time, show how fun you are in a group setting and then seal the deal at the end of the night when you're alone with her.
Phew, thanks. I had a friend saying "uh, don't want to get hopes up, but you might be close to the friend zone".
It sounds like she might get back late compared to when my dad would be grilling, but she's suggesting something later in the week or weekend and having a game night. She also suggested having another cookout soon since it'd be fun.
If anything, my dad's gf said her pool should be open by this weekend (like Friday), so maybe we could do something then. That way, we might still have a cookout & games, plus a pool as well.
It sounds like she might get back late compared to when my dad would be grilling, but she's suggesting something later in the week or weekend and having a game night. She also suggested having another cookout soon since it'd be fun.
If anything, my dad's gf said her pool should be open by this weekend (like Friday), so maybe we could do something then. That way, we might still have a cookout & games, plus a pool as well.
Yeah, I've been trying to think of an activity that isn't just sitting & talking, and she said she likes swimming, so I figured this would be a good way to spend time together a third time. A get-together where we play games seems as good as any activity to do in a town that, despite having two colleges, doesn't really have many date options.
I'm starting to think I'm someone who takes things slowly as well, as I want to feel as though there's an actual connection to be made & the "spark" isn't lost after the second date. If I'm still feeling it on the third, then I think I'm ready to take my chances because if I don't, then I waited too long & things won't progress.
But hopefully, I'll be able to do the "small touches" and such. Having two frontal hugs at the end of both dates already, I think as long as it doesn't seem forced, I should be fine.
I'm starting to think I'm someone who takes things slowly as well, as I want to feel as though there's an actual connection to be made & the "spark" isn't lost after the second date. If I'm still feeling it on the third, then I think I'm ready to take my chances because if I don't, then I waited too long & things won't progress.
But hopefully, I'll be able to do the "small touches" and such. Having two frontal hugs at the end of both dates already, I think as long as it doesn't seem forced, I should be fine.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Just because she said she liked it doesn't mean you have to rush to do it. What else does she like? What do YOU enjoy doing that can be done with two people? There's literally a million options and unless it's an activity that's not inclusive then you really can't go wrong unless she's deathly afraid of it or something.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Yeah, this is good advice. I pitched the scenario to a friend of mine, and she basically echoed these comments. But, the girl I'm seeing did another 180, saying that setting up "couples dates" was spooking her. She confirmed that she had no interest in seeing other guys, but that she wanted to focus on herself more and not get bogged down in the pressure of a relationship.
So, I'm warily cautious, but we love hanging out, so we'll continue to do that; it's just that we'll keep it casual for now. It's a really interesting situation, because I completely understand the thought process. Changes in relationship status do impact things, and I'd rather just keep things simple now, at least for the summer, as I finish out the current job I'm in and look for others.
Just set up a date with this girl from Tinder, for Wednesday. She's a self-proclaimed "nerd", bookworm if you will. She's something as unusual as an INTJ-woman (according to her only 0.3% of the Swedish population is), which I am too. I know very few girls that are similar to me in this regard, let alone dated one. We seem to share a lot of interests too. She likes programming but isn't going to study it like I am. Of course, one shouldn't put too much stock in Meyer-Briggs, but it's definitely a pointer.
I'm definitely going to the date and seeing how we get along. I'm somewhat wary about being too similar though. I think I need a girl that is more outgoing than me - not that I am a recluse, but I can definitely be shy around people I don't know. But again, I'll keep an open mind.
Since this is GAF, I assume a lot of you guys and girls are INTJ or similar too. Have any of you dated someone that is very similar to yourselves? How did it pan out?
I'm definitely going to the date and seeing how we get along. I'm somewhat wary about being too similar though. I think I need a girl that is more outgoing than me - not that I am a recluse, but I can definitely be shy around people I don't know. But again, I'll keep an open mind.
Since this is GAF, I assume a lot of you guys and girls are INTJ or similar too. Have any of you dated someone that is very similar to yourselves? How did it pan out?
direct_quote
Member
So any advice on here for online dating? I recently went on a date to a bar through ok cupid, and the date went fine conversation wise, but got the hug at the end and probably no second date. I think because I had little world wide experience adventure wise that ultimately was a turn off, despite myself showing interest in it (and she had been all over the world and done lots of stuff).. Do I really need to be all over the world as an indicator I like to be adventurous? Kind of was depressing getting rejected too.. Oh well... (and part of the reason I haven't been around the world because I was in school and paying that off).
Also, do people normally ask for second dates on dating websites through the site?
Also, do people normally ask for second dates on dating websites through the site?
1) No, you don't have to travel to be considered adventurous. I have barely left the East Coast, and I would say I'm fairly adventurous (up for anything).
2) Rejection becomes a bit easier when you go through it. Everyone has experience it, and even the best of them experience rejection. Try not to dwell on it and move onto the next one. Just make sure to learn from any mistakes (assuming there were any) you might have made.
3) I ask for a second date through text/phone call.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
You ask for the second date near the end of the first one. Or at least, I always did -- if I wanted one. Generally, my first dates spanned multiple locations (as in, we started at one bar, then went to a few others), and you can always talk about what else you'd like to experience.
Also, once you shift to texting, don't use the site again.
I'm INTJ. (Or, *NTJ, with a bias towards I.) So is the girl I'm dating, although I'm slightly more outgoing. The jury's still out on how this will turn out, but I will say that it makes communication easier. In other words, I understand the logic and rationale behind her actions (and vice versa), and that allows us to talk about things very easily. It also makes things simpler that others who weren't similarly situated might dislike. We both like our privacy and alone time, and we don't have a need to compulsively text each other.
First tinder date went OK, lasted 2.5 hours and I think she liked me.
Do you guys ever meet people and actually pivot into being friends? I think she's cute and enjoyed my time with her but not sure if I'm sexually attracted. She seemed receptive to the idea of playing tennis next weekend and I've been dying to play with someone again so I'll probably do that if she's up for it.
Do you guys ever meet people and actually pivot into being friends? I think she's cute and enjoyed my time with her but not sure if I'm sexually attracted. She seemed receptive to the idea of playing tennis next weekend and I've been dying to play with someone again so I'll probably do that if she's up for it.
If you know already that you're only ever going to be friends with this girl, please be upfront about it. Don't go on 3-4 dates and then reveal something you knew already on the first, that's just leading her on and playing with emotions. If you're not decided then by all means go on more dates though.
how long do you guys put up with someone playing hard to get?
theres a girl i met a while back, she flirted with me the first few times we met in a group setting and then the physical contact increased exponentially the next few times i saw here, which eventually lead to us hooking up. anyway she goes to a different school than me and texted me last week to tell me that she would be home for break(this was after i had texted her about a month ago to see if she was going to be home for the summer and i got a vague response) and was wondering if i was in town too, presumably because she wants to see me. i told her what i'm up to, and asked when she was coming back. i got the typical vague answer that i expected. alright whatever, i didn't text her for a week after that.
texted her yesterday to see what she was up to, but after 5 or 6 messages, the last of which was me asking her if she wanted to get lunch tomorrow(now today), she stopped responding.
idk what her end game is here, but i feel rather confident that she will text me to try and get me to do something with her by the end of the week. wtf is going on gaf
theres a girl i met a while back, she flirted with me the first few times we met in a group setting and then the physical contact increased exponentially the next few times i saw here, which eventually lead to us hooking up. anyway she goes to a different school than me and texted me last week to tell me that she would be home for break(this was after i had texted her about a month ago to see if she was going to be home for the summer and i got a vague response) and was wondering if i was in town too, presumably because she wants to see me. i told her what i'm up to, and asked when she was coming back. i got the typical vague answer that i expected. alright whatever, i didn't text her for a week after that.
texted her yesterday to see what she was up to, but after 5 or 6 messages, the last of which was me asking her if she wanted to get lunch tomorrow(now today), she stopped responding.
idk what her end game is here, but i feel rather confident that she will text me to try and get me to do something with her by the end of the week. wtf is going on gaf
stn
Member
@Lkr
Just do nothing, man. You sent the last message, the onus is on her to respond now. Don't message her. She knows you exist and she knows how to reach you, if she's ignoring you then she's probably doing so deliberately.
Also, it seems like she just wants to hook up while you seem to want a potential relationship? That's my inference based on your lunch invitation. Either way, just do nothing. She most likely wants a Summer fling and is weighing her options now. While she weighs her options you go and make more of your own options.
Just do nothing, man. You sent the last message, the onus is on her to respond now. Don't message her. She knows you exist and she knows how to reach you, if she's ignoring you then she's probably doing so deliberately.
Also, it seems like she just wants to hook up while you seem to want a potential relationship? That's my inference based on your lunch invitation. Either way, just do nothing. She most likely wants a Summer fling and is weighing her options now. While she weighs her options you go and make more of your own options.
ClosingADoor
Member
FaintColt388301
Member
I keep meeting chicks with boyfriends. I like having them as friends cause they're cool as fuck and I get along with them better than dudes. It's nice to have to that kind of not looking for anything but hanging out attitude with them and just not worry about other stuff. But at the end of the day, I still want a lady that's cool like them. Damm you world.
Oh well. It'll come. At least I have good company for now.
Oh well. It'll come. At least I have good company for now.
NipplesAndToes23
Member
Man, I ain't got shit and never had shit. There be some fly chicks coming into the Panera Bread where I be goin hard in the paint, but they be with the crew so you know...
IISANDERII
Member
How do you start using condoms once you've already not used them?
Started seeing somebody and it seems to be going very well. We had a weekend of sex, no condom. Now I think we should've but how to bring that up? As a relationship grows, trust should increase, not decrease and it would seem like that's the case if I suddenly start wrapping it.
Started seeing somebody and it seems to be going very well. We had a weekend of sex, no condom. Now I think we should've but how to bring that up? As a relationship grows, trust should increase, not decrease and it would seem like that's the case if I suddenly start wrapping it.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Why is it an issue of trust rather than safety?
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
"That was an AMAZING weekend. But, I was totally into you that I completely forgot to break out the condoms I'd brought ... I know we went without last time, but that was probably a mistake. I have these new kinds now, and I want to try them..."
It's not an issue of trust. It's an issue of health (I hope you at least shared STD tests, or talked about things first), and it's also a matter of contraception. Again: trust has nothing to do with it.
spootime
Member
I went on a date with a girl off tinder who I thought was really smart and funny but I didn't find attractive at all (magical photos). I tried to make it a friends thing but she wasnt interested in that at all.
ShemhazaiX
Member
Right so, thinking about asking one of my sisters friends out. Kind of got a reluctant go ahead from my sister. Main issue is that I've only met the girl a few times.
I guess there should be some backstory. Decided to experiment for a night out which basically involved mixing my social circle with my sisters for a night. Went alright, there were a few shenanigans or so, but when isn't there when about 15 people are all drunk together.
So, I've spoken to this specific friend about once before in my entire life. Was never really bothered before because up until January I was in a 6 year relationship and she was also in a relationship. So this being the first time I meet her with us both being single and a bit of booze in me I kind of noticed how stunning she was. And I think I probably said it out loud once or twice to a friend whilst she was like, right next to us. Anyway, by the end of the night we end up sat in Subway and I catch her looking at me and smiling. I don't really like assuming this kind of stuff so I kind of shrugged it off. However, the more I've been thinking about her the more I kind of want to take the chance. Problem is I've been out of the dating game for so long I have no idea how to go about it. The last time I had to worry about it I was 18 and full of piss and vinegar. How do you even ask people out nowadays? Do I just add her on facebook and ask her for coffee?
Halp GAF. :[
I guess there should be some backstory. Decided to experiment for a night out which basically involved mixing my social circle with my sisters for a night. Went alright, there were a few shenanigans or so, but when isn't there when about 15 people are all drunk together.
So, I've spoken to this specific friend about once before in my entire life. Was never really bothered before because up until January I was in a 6 year relationship and she was also in a relationship. So this being the first time I meet her with us both being single and a bit of booze in me I kind of noticed how stunning she was. And I think I probably said it out loud once or twice to a friend whilst she was like, right next to us. Anyway, by the end of the night we end up sat in Subway and I catch her looking at me and smiling. I don't really like assuming this kind of stuff so I kind of shrugged it off. However, the more I've been thinking about her the more I kind of want to take the chance. Problem is I've been out of the dating game for so long I have no idea how to go about it. The last time I had to worry about it I was 18 and full of piss and vinegar. How do you even ask people out nowadays? Do I just add her on facebook and ask her for coffee?
Halp GAF. :[
ClosingADoor
Member
I'd probably get her number from your sister, then text/whatsapp. Ask her how's she doing and if she's free this weekend to grab a drink.
So what's everyones stance on asking coworkers out? Is the famous saying "never [bad word] the company" true?
Background: I work in a big call center, last thursday I sat next to a girl I had never talked to before. So we started talking inbetween calls and had pretty good chemistry, also turned out she lives in the same small town I do, which is pretty rare. Her work day ends before mine though, so I can't use that.
Anyway, I'm wondering whether to ask her out since we are not really a "team" and contact in this workplace is not mandatory. Any thoughts?
Background: I work in a big call center, last thursday I sat next to a girl I had never talked to before. So we started talking inbetween calls and had pretty good chemistry, also turned out she lives in the same small town I do, which is pretty rare. Her work day ends before mine though, so I can't use that.
Anyway, I'm wondering whether to ask her out since we are not really a "team" and contact in this workplace is not mandatory. Any thoughts?
I have done it in the past, but it was shit retail jobs that I didn't care about. There are a mess a problems that arise from dating a coworker.
-It can be awkward when things go sour.
-Everyone and their mothers will goosip about you two (I would try to keep it a secret, honesty).
-Depending on both of your hours, could be seeing a lot of each other during the initial dating phase.
-It can be awkward when things go sour.
-Everyone and their mothers will goosip about you two (I would try to keep it a secret, honesty).
-Depending on both of your hours, could be seeing a lot of each other during the initial dating phase.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
I wouldn't do it at any job you actually care about because it usually leads to issues if you break up.
Sequence Six
Member
This and the post before are good advice.
However~
A call center, you say? How attached are you to that job? If the answer is, "Not very; in fact I could probably jump to a different job easy if I started to hate this one" then go for it!
All 3 of these things ended up true for me when I tried.
Ok people, need some advice.
Met a great girl on Tinder and we hit it off pretty well for about two months now.
The biggest issue I have (and that's something that has screwed over past relationships as well) is that I really suck at deciding stuff and usually leave that to her. If she asks where I want to go, I usually reply with: "I don't know, what do you feel like doing?"
Same thing happens when deciding on dates or bigger plans like trips and etc.
My friends and common sense as well tell me that's a major turn off. I know there's no easy fix to this but any tips besides growing a spine? Really want to make this work so I'd like to avoid this passiveness.
Met a great girl on Tinder and we hit it off pretty well for about two months now.
The biggest issue I have (and that's something that has screwed over past relationships as well) is that I really suck at deciding stuff and usually leave that to her. If she asks where I want to go, I usually reply with: "I don't know, what do you feel like doing?"
Same thing happens when deciding on dates or bigger plans like trips and etc.
My friends and common sense as well tell me that's a major turn off. I know there's no easy fix to this but any tips besides growing a spine? Really want to make this work so I'd like to avoid this passiveness.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Write down a bunch of ideas and choose from a list when the question comes up.
This sounds simpler than it is in practice.
Isn't there anything you actually want to do? Like, when thinking about dinner, do you have any food cravings? Why not say "Hey, I was thinking I'd like some pizza tonight, why don't we go to [local chain]?" and go from there?
Don't be afraid to state what you would like to do; even if it gets turned down or whatever. Saying you're 'up for anything' all the time can be tiring for the other person, because eventually it gets frustrating thinking up all the plans.
Possibly meeting a girl from Tinder tonight, heading out to a bar to shoot pool.
How do you greet your online dates? Hug? Handshake? I'm from the south and everyone hugs here, but I'm not sure if it's off-putting when greeting a first date.
Guy above me, I used to be pretty bad at that stuff, but mainly because I didn't know of any places to go. Maybe just hop online and look for cool places you've never been before in your area.
"Hey, heard about this cool place, we should check it out next time."
How do you greet your online dates? Hug? Handshake? I'm from the south and everyone hugs here, but I'm not sure if it's off-putting when greeting a first date.
Guy above me, I used to be pretty bad at that stuff, but mainly because I didn't know of any places to go. Maybe just hop online and look for cool places you've never been before in your area.
"Hey, heard about this cool place, we should check it out next time."
So on a whim 6 weeks ago or so I was "dared" by my brother to ask a girl who I've known since my younger school years. I got to know her in 2005 when I was 13. We were pretty good friends back then, but our contact had slowed down considerably over the years. Due to me knowing that I couldn't lose anything by asking her out I tried and she said yes!
So we meet and have really good time at her place. I bought her food and we sat there talking for hours about everything, especially of the old times. This resulted in us deciding to see each other again and since then we have spent time with each other every weekend.
I have 10 minutes to her place by car, but the guest parking only allows for 6 hours at a time before I can be fined for staying too long, so I am on a limited schedule when I visit her. She never wants me to leave before those 6 hours are close to running out so that feels good! However as we've been watching a lot of movies together I want to get closer to her, but she tends to keep to herself while we are watching. This made me ask her one night two weeks ago before I were to leave what she wanted out of us seeing each other. She told me: " I want to see where this goes"
This last weekend we were watching another movie, she was keeping to herself as usual. When it was over we just sat around for an hour doing some small talk but mostly being silent. I had to leave and got up asking her to follow me to the door. She did and we talked some more before I was leaving. Before I walked through her door I got a hug and decided to give her a peck on the cheek. She went completely silent and then told me good bye.
On my way out I feel like a total idiot for doing it and I continue to feel that way until the next day. I decided that she had to contact me if she wanted to talk to me after what I did. She finally writes to me the following evening and we are having some small talk via Facebook. After half an hour of texting I apologize for making her uncomfortable the next before, to which she responds: "Don't feel that way! It made me a little happy!".
Here I am now. I don't know where to go from here. Is she giving me an okay to continue persuing this or is she just being friendly?
So we meet and have really good time at her place. I bought her food and we sat there talking for hours about everything, especially of the old times. This resulted in us deciding to see each other again and since then we have spent time with each other every weekend.
I have 10 minutes to her place by car, but the guest parking only allows for 6 hours at a time before I can be fined for staying too long, so I am on a limited schedule when I visit her. She never wants me to leave before those 6 hours are close to running out so that feels good! However as we've been watching a lot of movies together I want to get closer to her, but she tends to keep to herself while we are watching. This made me ask her one night two weeks ago before I were to leave what she wanted out of us seeing each other. She told me: " I want to see where this goes"
This last weekend we were watching another movie, she was keeping to herself as usual. When it was over we just sat around for an hour doing some small talk but mostly being silent. I had to leave and got up asking her to follow me to the door. She did and we talked some more before I was leaving. Before I walked through her door I got a hug and decided to give her a peck on the cheek. She went completely silent and then told me good bye.
On my way out I feel like a total idiot for doing it and I continue to feel that way until the next day. I decided that she had to contact me if she wanted to talk to me after what I did. She finally writes to me the following evening and we are having some small talk via Facebook. After half an hour of texting I apologize for making her uncomfortable the next before, to which she responds: "Don't feel that way! It made me a little happy!".
Here I am now. I don't know where to go from here. Is she giving me an okay to continue persuing this or is she just being friendly?
Yeah, you guys make valid points. Especially seeing each other all the time can kind of take the spark away in the dating phase I guess. And when it goes bad..yeah.
I am actually only doing the call center gig while searching for something else. I might actually have a new job lined up for july. If that happens I'll ask her, but until then I guess I won't.
First off, you should never apologize for making a move! Her reaction can of course mean she found it creepy, but maybe she liked it and didn't really know how to react because she is shy.
Still, her answer to the message seems positive to me, so I think you still have a shot. Should go for the mouth next time though, a peck on the cheek is still a friendly gesture and you want to show her your romantic interest. Especially since you have been meeting for quite some time if I read your text correctly. So my advice would be to go for broke.
I am actually only doing the call center gig while searching for something else. I might actually have a new job lined up for july. If that happens I'll ask her, but until then I guess I won't.
First off, you should never apologize for making a move! Her reaction can of course mean she found it creepy, but maybe she liked it and didn't really know how to react because she is shy.
Still, her answer to the message seems positive to me, so I think you still have a shot. Should go for the mouth next time though, a peck on the cheek is still a friendly gesture and you want to show her your romantic interest. Especially since you have been meeting for quite some time if I read your text correctly. So my advice would be to go for broke.
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