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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
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Omega Kirby
Member
Yeah she replied "same" 10 minutes later.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
Ok, cool. Good luck too.
grap3fruitman
Banned
So now that I'm somewhat physically fit and worth looking at, I have ED and can't do anything in the bedroom anyway. Is it worth pursuing dating? Are women understanding or do they only want one thing?
Maybe you should outright block her number so you don't get messages anymore?
Most women understand, if they want more than a hookup. Also, there are pills for that, after all. Have you gone to the doctor about your condition?
I have blocked her number. I just haven't erased it yet. It'll happen this week though.
I got my hair colored today as well, and I'm doing stuff to make myself happy at the moment. Even have a membership at the gym now as well.
So I posted a week or so back about a girl I met on tinder, things have been going really well, we've only had 3 dates but it feels like we've been seeing each other a lot longer.
Anyway, to my point (which is slightly off topic in this thread so apologies), on Saturday I ended up staying at hers after dinner, I was/still am? a virgin, we ended up having sex but I couldn't keep it up. My balls have been aching on and off for the past week, is this just nervousness for it being my first time or should I get myself checked out?
Anyway, to my point (which is slightly off topic in this thread so apologies), on Saturday I ended up staying at hers after dinner, I was/still am? a virgin, we ended up having sex but I couldn't keep it up. My balls have been aching on and off for the past week, is this just nervousness for it being my first time or should I get myself checked out?
No I couldn't finish, same thing happened in the morning when we tried again. I did think it could possibly be blue balls but they'd been hurting during the week before. When I relieved myself later in the evening it was a bit painful and still found it hard to well, get hard...
lol thanks.
Ah, okay then.
Yeah, sounds like blue balls with a hint of the nerves thrown in for good measure. Have you masterbated at all since the sex? I think that would help (...I'm honestly not 100% sure though)
D
Deleted member 10571
Unconfirmed Member
Feeling quite crappy and it only gets worse for a while I guess 
It's nice to have friends to pick you up after a fall, even just the small things some people do and say when they notice you're not that great can be super amazing. Pretty sure none of those guys read this, but it feels good to write it down somewhere.
Also contemplating if a Splatoon Wii U pack helps. We'll see :x
It's nice to have friends to pick you up after a fall, even just the small things some people do and say when they notice you're not that great can be super amazing. Pretty sure none of those guys read this, but it feels good to write it down somewhere. Also contemplating if a Splatoon Wii U pack helps. We'll see :x
False Witness
Member
Tips on physicality in a movie date (3rd date, haven't kissed her yet)? I've actually never gone on a movie date before because it sounded like a bad idea, but I just really want to see Mad Max (romantic, I know)
Brush against the person's knee with your own. if they don't move away, put your hand on their knee. It'll flow pretty well from there if all goes well.
Tips on physicality in a movie date (3rd date, haven't kissed her yet)? I've actually never gone on a movie date before because it sounded like a bad idea, but I just really want to see Mad Max (romantic, I know
Grab her hand at the start of the movie.
Also, regardless if you make a move physically or not, kiss her at the end of the date.
Best of luck. I'm thinking about a date at the aquarium this week since the girl I saw last week is a big fan of sea creatures. She's made it pretty clear she wants to go, so looking pretty good.
edit: Just asked her to another dinner this week and she said yes, woo
Yes, yesterday afternoon and I still couldn't get fully hard and was a bit painful when I eventually came. Balls were hurting during the week in the lead up to Saturday night. Hope it is just nerves.
Sorry if you said you were going to earlier, but make a doctor's appointment about this. It certainly sounds unusual to me and is worth getting checked out.
MonorailCat
Member
Scenario: 29m/24f
First date goes well. Same interests, you really like her, but no relationship-spark. You would really like a "friends-with-benefits" scenario. So you talk openly about sex on the first date, about possibly moving away soon and so on.
Second date you invite her home for dvds. You fool around, but she stops you before sex.
She is pretty busy and lives 1h+ away, so you don't see her for about 4 weeks. Some friendly casual texting during that time.
Next date is a cinema date. After the movie you invite her home for a sleepover and she agrees. You two open a bottle of wine, fool around, get naked, put a condom on and right before sex she says "I am a virgin".
You are drunk, horny, tired and caught off guard, so your brain only has enough blood to ask the question "are you sure you want to do that with ME?" and she says "yes".
---
soo, whats the right course of action?
a) Have sex with her, although you only want a FWB Situation
b) Don't have Sex, because you think she should have her first time with a long term relationship partner in a more romantic scenario.
--
Should I feel bad if I took option a) ?
I mean, at no point did I say something about relationships. In fact, quite the opposite. I was physical from the beginning and she knew what to expect when she agreed to sleep over. She wasn't extremely drunk, only 1 glass of wine and she is old enough to decide things on her own. And it's not a "sex and dump". I do want to see her again.
First date goes well. Same interests, you really like her, but no relationship-spark. You would really like a "friends-with-benefits" scenario. So you talk openly about sex on the first date, about possibly moving away soon and so on.
Second date you invite her home for dvds. You fool around, but she stops you before sex.
She is pretty busy and lives 1h+ away, so you don't see her for about 4 weeks. Some friendly casual texting during that time.
Next date is a cinema date. After the movie you invite her home for a sleepover and she agrees. You two open a bottle of wine, fool around, get naked, put a condom on and right before sex she says "I am a virgin".
You are drunk, horny, tired and caught off guard, so your brain only has enough blood to ask the question "are you sure you want to do that with ME?" and she says "yes".
---
soo, whats the right course of action?
a) Have sex with her, although you only want a FWB Situation
b) Don't have Sex, because you think she should have her first time with a long term relationship partner in a more romantic scenario.
--
Should I feel bad if I took option a) ?
I mean, at no point did I say something about relationships. In fact, quite the opposite. I was physical from the beginning and she knew what to expect when she agreed to sleep over. She wasn't extremely drunk, only 1 glass of wine and she is old enough to decide things on her own. And it's not a "sex and dump". I do want to see her again.
Don't feel bad. It could also be that she wanted to lose her virginity with someone a bit distant to not have it hanging over her head in future relationships. At some point you just have to accept what people tell you.
PapaJustify
Member
The virgin thing aside, I don't think that you should have sex if you both aren't on common ground regarding this FWB thing. You are basically just leading her on and the fact that she is ready to have her first time with you is an indication that she might have hopes for more than just a fling.
ClosingADoor
Member
No, you did nothing wrong. She made up her own mind about it, you didn't push for anything. Don't worry about it.
radioactivez0r
Member
I had a first date a few years ago with a girl I still think about occasionally. I was talking to her on OKC when she suddenly asked me if I was free that evening (like, 2 hours from then). I had to shuffle things around to make it, and I was so glad I did. She was awesome, hotter than the pictures, smart as hell and fun. She made the first move, even. We ended up on a park bench, me kissing her neck while she claimed to be trying not to orgasm. She mused about taking me home, which I declined, thinking there would be another date (I mean, how could there not be?).
There wasn't. We talked a bit for a few weeks and ultimately she said she didn't have time for someone. Maybe she was just looking to hook up and I screwed up saying no, maybe it was just bad timing, but it sucked for sure. But there's always someone else. You learn so much about people over time that first impressions don't tell you.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Is this a real question?
You should get your ED checked out by a doctor if you haven't but the way you think about women is just weird. They're not that different from guys, asking if they only want one thing is extremely insulting that that is how you view them. You really need to get a healthier mindset about women.
Forceatowulf
G***n S**n*bi
dat moment when your new exciting relationship fizzles and dies suddenly...
dat moment when the cute girl you gave your number to that following weekend hits you up...
I hate your guts life. And I love you so much.
dat moment when the cute girl you gave your number to that following weekend hits you up...
I hate your guts life. And I love you so much.
stn
Member
Agreed. Some girls will just want sex without a care for the guy, other girls will want the opposite. Just like some guys just want sex while others want a relationship. Get yourself checked out and go meet some women, Grape.
I normally just lurk in this thread and look at the advice being given to others as well as the stories of others.
But I had to come in because this post sounds like it might be something a little more serious than "blue balls" or nerves. Is the pain still persisting even now, Dobsie? Or has it subsided?
grap3fruitman
Banned
I have even less experience dealing with men. I can't help but get the impression from women looking at me that they only want sex. I'm afraid to even begin to approach anyone and find out I'm probably right. I wouldn't know how to approach even if that wasn't the case either.
Even in a relationship, I think sex is expected. I already went to two doctors and neither could help me. It's not like I was having sex before anyway so I'm not missing anything I already wasn't.
Oh I certainly don't already. I've dated women who enjoyed gaming and ones who didn't. I just know eventually my mind wants to talk games and it's always nice when the person you're romantically involved with gets it. I think too many of us have to hide and make excuses to play games when dating someone who doesn't understand the hobby. I feel like many of us deserve better. It's not a requirement for me but from the couple ladies who enjoyed gaming that I've dated, it was always a better experience and relationship at least for me.
The pain seems to have gone now, if it comes back I'll go see a doctor.
Thanks for the advice guys.
ClosingADoor
Member
I rather date a girl as far removed from gaming as possible. But that's more because I work with videogames and am kind of tired of them after work.
That said, I wouldn't put too much value in things like that. Sure, it's nice to have the same hobbies. But in the end, does it matter? As long as she doesn't look down upon the things you enjoy, it's all fine. Just find things you enjoy doing together.
Don't want to post in here, but I have to today. I got the following "problem". Woman that I got to know at a friends local shop and me met up a few times now, after she broke up with her boyfriend. I really feel the chemistry, she's got knowledge, pretty face etc. And we also went swimming, relaxing and also had a sauna last Saturday.
Problem is that her ex boyfriend was in the city last Friday and she met up with him, both of them ended the relationship mutual. She also says many things that suggest that I should go in like she mentioned that she felt that I didn't really want to get touchy on Saturday and things like these (because I thought after Friday that she could get together with her ex again).
We really like eachother and I would commit, but something is holding me back, but my other part says "fuck it, do it" and I know this is the only chance. She also is away the next few weeks and after that she wants to study in another city (because her study course can only be studied on private schools here, but her mum would pay for it). I want to let her go without saying that I want her to stay.
We also like to tease eachother and it's really fun, but I think she waits for my step.
Fuck this, I am just somebody who thinks to much.
Problem is that her ex boyfriend was in the city last Friday and she met up with him, both of them ended the relationship mutual. She also says many things that suggest that I should go in like she mentioned that she felt that I didn't really want to get touchy on Saturday and things like these (because I thought after Friday that she could get together with her ex again).
We really like eachother and I would commit, but something is holding me back, but my other part says "fuck it, do it" and I know this is the only chance. She also is away the next few weeks and after that she wants to study in another city (because her study course can only be studied on private schools here, but her mum would pay for it). I want to let her go without saying that I want her to stay.
We also like to tease eachother and it's really fun, but I think she waits for my step.
Fuck this, I am just somebody who thinks to much.
ClosingADoor
Member
So are you (and is she) prepared to do long distance? Because that is hard. Speaking from experience (and it didn't work out in the end). Of course that is me thinking this is a move at least a few 100 km away and not the city next door.
Otherwise, I'd say just enjoy the time until she goes away (do make a move!) and see her when she is back in town while remaining non-exclusive to each other.
You will regret it if you don't make a move as soon as possible, and believe me, I would know that :/
Edit: But yeah, think about the long distance relationship thing too.
While I feel as though ClosingADoor makes a good point (you should try & have multiple things to talk about/be interested in instead of just one), I fully get where you're coming from.
I was not popular with girls at all during high school (all my friends were guys) and part of it was I was kind of the "nerd" because I looovveeeddd video games and then (while not as vocal) also anime/manga. There was really only one girl I got along with freshman year & it saddened me that not long after I met her, she had to move & I never saw her again.
College, however, was a HUGE improvement. I joined a "Japanese Culture Club" & I noticed there was a decent amount of females (heck, the two main members/"presidents" were female) & it was great hanging out with them. Plus I feel as though I can be a bit more open without them being all "Oh, you like games. We're just gonna ignore you now."
Again, I think we're in a similar situation where we both want to have a girlfriend who understands our hobby & is fine with it/embraces it because we grew up with it (plus I had very few people to actually play games with) and want to express our love for the hobby & why we enjoy it so much, but I want to make sure there's more to the girl aside from that one trait, & I do my best to show that there's more to me than just "I like video games & anime/manga".
Bolded part is on my mind since Sunday... so I will make a move today or be more open to everything. Nothing is settled yet with her studies, but I would be prepared for something like that if it takes that turn. Thanks!
Let me flip the scenario on you. Say your SO is really into... I dunno, making amateur silent films. That's not your hobby, sure, but even if she were to begin talking about it, you probably would still want her to talk about it and maybe even explain some of her passion to you, right?
Just because you guys don't have all your hobbies lined up doesn't mean that you'll have problems getting along or anything. Yes, you do have to make sure they accept your hobby (and yes, many people do think games are childish still, but things are getting better), but heck, it can make for some interesting conversations as you two try to delve into each other's hobbies.
Tbh, when I dated a gamer that was as hardcore as I was, I really found it kind of deflating. Like, I'd be excited about something ("Oh my god Dragon Quest Heroes is getting a special edition!"), and he'd be like "yeah yeah I already heard", or if I wanted to gush about some of my favorite games he would blow me off saying "yes, I know how Dragon Quest V is awesome already". We couldn't even really play games together, as it tends to take me a little longer to grasp controls and he would get annoyed. It really made me not want to date someone that was super hardcore into gaming (but still didn't hate it or anything).
...Actually, now that I type that out, that may have been more of an attitude problem than a hobby problem...
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Just realized the OP of the escort thread was Madridista. Poor guy needs help.
Haha yeah I see how that could be annoying. The one lady I dated who was into gaming probably wasn't into it as much I was but that's what was perfect about it. We both enjoyed two different sides of gaming (I was more into fighting/action games and she was more into RPGs like Mass Effect) so we were able to build the hype for one another on what we both were into. Granted I like Mass Effect as well but I wasn't a mega fan like she was and vice versa so we had an understanding and could explain to each other why we liked what we liked so much.
I have many interests, some which surpass my love for gaming such as music and I also write. So I do have interests outside of gaming and it's the reason I believe that I can date many kinds of women and have. But like I said before, it just always seems like when the lady after a long day of walking outside and enjoying the outdoors wants to relax to us gaming together, I think there's nothing more beautiful about it. At the end of the day though if I happen to meet the most amazing person who doesn't love gaming but can accept it and support me in it that's all I can ask for and I'm sure I'd be completely happy with that person. I think personality and loyalty always comes first in a relationship, then hobbies.
Gray Matter
Member
Sorry for intruding, but what do you do for work?
It's just retail. I can relate to your story in the depression thread btw. I feel you.
FaintColt388301
Member
So GAF, I made it. I have a lady on the horizon. She's great. We have a ton in common and just have so much fun together. We've been hanging out like non stop. It's been amazing.
I always end up getting in situations where me and the other person don't communicate the same way and they get offended or passive aggressive with me all the time. It sucks. This girl isn't that way at all. We just speak each others language. She gets me and I get her. I've never met somebody who I've felt is so similar to me. Everything feels comfortable and nice. I'm so excited to see where this goes.
I always end up getting in situations where me and the other person don't communicate the same way and they get offended or passive aggressive with me all the time. It sucks. This girl isn't that way at all. We just speak each others language. She gets me and I get her. I've never met somebody who I've felt is so similar to me. Everything feels comfortable and nice. I'm so excited to see where this goes.
Awesome man. Tell us how things go, that's always an exciting feeling.
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