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[Izuna]

i get that sometimes this world is meaningless and full of stupidity, but please, just dont listen to your parents, they may gave you life but existense is much more than that, surely you can try to find help or a place to feel safe?

yes first you would need to help yourself, its difficult to help others if you are not alright

Sorry everyone. It really is time for me so resolve it all for once. I don't really want to start a thread about this but, I didn't mean to make some of you worry.

Before making the post, I had just come home from seeing my counsellor. I left feeling happy for the first time in forever. I guess I forgot what happiness felt like. The counsellor, who works at the Uni I go to, didn't just help assist me into how to write the mitigating circumstances form... But he's the first to listen to how I viewed the world and the things that have happened. I came to him with so much and the sessions were too small for it all.

But by the end of that session, I felt almost reborn.

On my way home I jogged back. I haven't done that since I was 15. Since meeting my friend the night before then, I hadn't felt like I was "part of the system" since I was 17. He is from the school where it all really fell to pieces.

Without going into needless detail. I've never been able to really care about myself since what happened. The counsellor brought that back.

But what caused me to write that post... and stupidly take far too little of the painkillers from PoundLand to actually hurt myself (probably the first time I actually went along with something) -- was an email from my Mom.

All of this has really been her mistake. It's not about blaming her for it, but wishing that she wasn't spend every single second of communication justifying the intentions that brought upon the mistake.

Anyway, I woke up to my GF (who I told not to see me and stay where she was) crashing through the door and immediately holding onto me. She didn't know what I had done and she won't. Perhaps the first time I will keep something from her that's significant. I've always wanted to do more for her but I realised that she isn't here because I may or may not eventually make her happy. I do by being here...

That last bit, I couldn't admit that before.

Same reason why for the past MONTH I haven't written the small explanation of how I felt this year, because I didn't feel like I deserve anything beneficial. I have a letter from a counsellor that, for other students it would have been written for the purpose of providing them evidence for their issues... he wrote it in such a way that it was clearly meant for me to believe that he cared. Thing is, it was sealed. I didn't open it for a month and he was clearly waiting for me to open it as the first step to help myself. I did that this morning.

Anyway!

I will take a break from posting on GAF for a while. Next time I do, hopefully there isn't a relevant update to all of this. I hope that this is the end of me being unable to feel like I should be alive and the start of cleaning up the dirt I've picked up while dragging myself along the ground.

My facebook has a ton of messages I have just never been able to read for what they are. My can hear the love on my friends' voices again.

It used to be so dark that nothing was good, just not bad.

And I'm so sorry NeoGAF.

Going back. I've spent the past two hours crying at the posts and replies you guys have made. They didn't mean anything to someone who's head was too far into darkness I suppose. All of you are fucking amazing. Even the smallest... To reply for encouragement and advice.

And the mods to keep me unbanned so I had a place to vent (okay I doubt that was the reason) but still. Thank you. Maybe if I weren't so distraction with how I was going to say goodbye to the world at PoundLand on NeoGAF, I might have actually read the mols correctly and would have taken enough to end my life.

Regardless...

Thank you.

and I'm sorry

 

[DrM]

izunadono, you do not need to apologize. Get things sorted and return to us with good news. Good luck man


Oh god damn, another girl that I started a nice conversation several days ago found another. I really do not know what I did to somebody or is there an entity that is messing with me? Several days after first contact every chick found somebody else! This is 9th girl in a row and this is really stupid.

Well at least 8th in a row still communicates with me with several e-mails each week.

And my job is really taking its toll. I lost 8 kilos this week alone.

 

[Vortex566]

Interested if anyone else is on Quetiapine?

What side effects do people get with it?

 

[Piano]

I just know I'll wake up tomorrow and the day will be exactly the same as the days before it and it makes me want to kill myself.

Hang in there, jb. I know you can climb to a higher place, even if it takes some time. I can say with 100% certainty that there are more people out there that you can connect with and that there must be a way to have social contacts fit your life circumstances. Please let me know if there's anything I can do.

My youngest sister tried to commit suicide today. She lives in London and she was back home just a week ago when I last saw her. I don't know many details yet but a friend or roommate found her and she was taken to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. She's been really fucked up from an Ambien addiction for a while and a doctor recently prescribed her Klonopin to help her wean off it. She's also developed a drinking problem and sometimes drinks all day apparently. She's 26 and we haven't been close at all in years but over the past couple years we've gotten a little closer and I think and we've been talking a lot more although I'll still go weeks/months without seeing or talking to her sometimes. It's really fucked up. My other sister is usually the "messed up" one with all sorts of emotional issues and has had suicide attempts over the years, so this was a shock. My parents have known about it all day and I've been texting my mom about stuff and she didn't mention it at all, I had to hear it from my other sister. My mom is fucking weird like that. It kind of makes me not want to talk to them about this at all- I'm uncomfortable talking to them about difficult shit and I can guess why. I've been in therapy and on zoloft since last year and I haven't even told them. They have all sorts of problem of their own, including constantly dealing with the problems of my other sister, and laying all of my shit on them would just be more burdens. Fuck.

demon,
I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. I'm glad your sister survived.
I think there must be a way to discuss things with your family without feeling like you're a burden. Perhaps if you strike a very gentle tone, and make it clear that you don't expect anything, just that you want them to be in the know. After all, it sounds like you're pursuing treatment quite successfully on their own, so there really is nothing they need to do at this time, just ... be aware of things.
Also, would it possible for you to reach out to your sister to try to talk or is the relationship just too distant? I've had a lot of trouble staying close with my sister but we've managed to pull together and speak like adults when hardship strikes the family - it just takes one of us being confident enough and not worrying about it being an awkward conversation. Even if it is uncomfortable, that's not a huge deal, in the end.

Yes and no, there were certain things which I felt comfortable talking to her about which I wasn't capable of talking to anyone else about, which felt nice, but there were still some things I'd try my best to hide.
I was pretty open about my depression / mood swings and about how debilitating my physical problems are but we didn't talk too much about my social anxiety .
She knew about it because I wasn't able to completely hide it from her and she'd sometimes comment on it but I'd always pretty much just zone out until she started to talk about something else.
I guess I mostly kept talking to her because she'd become a part of my life. I started seeing her when I was 17 and I'm 27 now.

She reccomended prescription drugs a couple of times but I've never taken them due to my irrational fears for taking prescription drugs for mental health problems. I'm fine with taking pain meds and anti-epileptic drugs though.
I know my fears don't make a whole lot of sense (if any) but I've seen my mom get worse when drugs started getting involved for her mental health problems, when I was really young, so I don't think that's something I'll ever be able to get past..

The next question would be: why did you hide those things that you didn't discuss? Was it an issue with your therapist? Do you think there's someone out there with whom you WOULD be comfortable discussing those things? Is it an issue with not wanting to give in to admitting certain things are problems? I think it's interesting that when your therapist did address the "off-limits" topics that you withdrew / zoned-out until she was done.

Just a few things to consider. I spent over a year lying to my therapist about my increasing anxiety (and my resulting substance use) until a big breakdown sort of "forced my hand" and I switched therapists and opened up more. I found that I was cutting myself off from a more complete understanding with my therapist by keeping her out of the loop on a very specific set of issues. She only ever helped me with surface-level stuff, which was partly because she wasn't all that great and also partly because I only let her into surface-level stuff.

I'm sorry to hear that you've had a bad experience with mental health medications. I think that fear is something that could be worked on, and while I know nothing of your experience, your mother's experience or your resulting attitude, I really do think that fear is something that can be mitigated, slowly, over time. There are a lot of safe, effective options for anxiety out there.

izunadono, you do not need to apologize. Get things sorted and return to us with good news. Good luck man


Oh god damn, another girl that I started a nice conversation several days ago found another. I really do not know what I did to somebody or is there an entity that is messing with me? Several days after first contact every chick found somebody else! This is 9th girl in a row and this is really stupid.

Well at least 8th in a row still communicates with me with several e-mails each week.

And my job is really taking its toll. I lost 8 kilos this week alone.

More than anything, I'm impressed you've gotten something going with nine girls in the recent past! Holy hell, man. Maybe it is just a bad string of coincidences.

Re: your job, is there noone there you can talk to about the bad toll it's taking on you physically? Surely it's in your employer's best interest that their employees not be deteriorating physically. One would think there'd be something to be done about it.

In the mean time, I hope you're able to get some rest when possible.

Interested if anyone else is on Quetiapine?

What side effects do people get with it?

I was several years ago. Only side effect I had was lots of drowsiness. I had to take it at night, right before bed.

<3

 

[Henkka]

I think I asked this before in this thread but didn't get any responses, thought I'd try again... Does anyone else have a really terrible memory? And I don't mean stuff like forgetting an appointment really, I mean events in life that happened even as little as 5 years ago that you can't remember... Just today, a friend of mine reminded me of a movie we'd seen 5 years ago, he remembered a conversation we'd had about it. At first, I didn't even remember I'd seen it. I had no recollection of my opinion about it at the time.

And a couple weeks back, another friend brought up a drawing I'd done in school maybe 5-6 years ago. Couldn't remember that either, maybe very loosely. I've started to notice these kinds of things happening almost every time I hang out with my old friends.

This causes me a lot of anxiety and depression. I feel like I can't have normal conversations about my past or tell stories because it's all gone. I'm afraid I'll almost certainly develop more serious problems with my memory as I get older, I mean it's not going to get better is it? And I'm afraid it's too late to fix.

I think depression maybe a big part of why this is case. Instead of being 'present' I'm in my head, worrying about something. So no memory sticks, since I'm not really there.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Depression and memory loss or memory trouble are linked. Plus, it doesn't help to have social anxiety.

You can try keeping a journal.

 

[Amalthea]

Yeah, that shit sucks. My major depression phase is most likely the reason why I barely have memories of the last decade. Like 2000-2010 are almost erased save for some random things.

 

[Xun]

You have to figure out what it is that's sapping you of your motivation. It may be fears you have, or emotional baggage and pent up hurt, or something else entirely. For some people it's just a matter of mental conditioning, of rebuilding momentum; for others, it's a matter of figuring out what's keeping that momentum from getting built.

Thanks for the advice!

I think (although I'm not entirely sure) it's fear of failure and seeing what I've become.

I go to an art class every Thursday at the very least now, but my weekends aren't at all productive sadly. I'm trying to get stuff done, but my energy is pretty much nonexistent. I desperately need to get my portfolio together and get a new job, especially since every Sunday I feel a great sense of despair at the week ahead.

Have you considered seeking mental health treatment?[/B]

I've been putting it off out of fear, but I may very well do.

 

[haikira]

I think I asked this before in this thread but didn't get any responses, thought I'd try again... Does anyone else have a really terrible memory? And I don't mean stuff like forgetting an appointment really, I mean events in life that happened even as little as 5 years ago that you can't remember... Just today, a friend of mine reminded me of a movie we'd seen 5 years ago, he remembered a conversation we'd had about it. At first, I didn't even remember I'd seen it. I had no recollection of my opinion about it at the time.

And a couple weeks back, another friend brought up a drawing I'd done in school maybe 5-6 years ago. Couldn't remember that either, maybe very loosely. I've started to notice these kinds of things happening almost every time I hang out with my old friends.

This causes me a lot of anxiety and depression. I feel like I can't have normal conversations about my past or tell stories because it's all gone. I'm afraid I'll almost certainly develop more serious problems with my memory as I get older, I mean it's not going to get better is it? And I'm afraid it's too late to fix.

I think depression maybe a big part of why this is case. Instead of being 'present' I'm in my head, worrying about something. So no memory sticks, since I'm not really there.

Yes! This is something I definitely have experience with. it's something I've tried to articulate to people before, but have never really done so successfully. The thing that I've found most frustrating is that it's not just everyday events, but stuff that's enjoyable, meaningful stuff with friends. It's extremely frustrating when my friends are talking about events I should remember, and most of the time I end up just playing along.

Even with films, I find it difficult to remember stuff I've genuinely enjoyed, and I find myself re watching stuff continuously. I find it weird that if I bring up movies that are my all time favourites, ones I've seen countless times, people who've only seen it once could quote it better than I can.

The worst of all, and more of a short term issue, is stuff in work. I'm genuinely trying, and it's just really disheartening. I quickly forget stuff I've learnt, stuff I'm meant to remember, and so on. I've actually looked in to Dyslexia because of this, because the second I'm given a sequential list, I immediately forget it. Give me directions, a phone number, three simple steps to follow, you fucking name it, I'll forget it in one second.

I've had trouble with depression and social anxiety for a while, and this on top of it can be a real killer some times. It just makes me feel really stupid. Because I have such trouble remembering stuff, and I find it really difficult to talk about a lot of things with any real confidence.

I'm sorry I can't be much help, other than having had similar experiences. I just want to thank you for posting this though. I found comfort in reading someone who's experienced something similar, and I definitely think you're on to something with your last paragraph.

 

[Henkka]

Yes! This is something I definitely have experience with. it's something I've tried to articulate to people before, but have never really done so successfully. The thing that I've found most frustrating is that it's not just everyday events, but stuff that's enjoyable, meaningful stuff with friends. It's extremely frustrating when my friends are talking about events I should remember, and most of the time I end up just playing along.

Even with films, I find it difficult to remember stuff I've genuinely enjoyed, and I find myself re watching stuff continuously. I find it weird that if I bring up movies that are my all time favourites, ones I've seen countless times, people who've only seen it once could quote it better than I can.

The worst of all, and more of a short term issue, is stuff in work. I'm genuinely trying, and it's just really disheartening. I quickly forget stuff I've learnt, stuff I'm meant to remember, and so on. I've actually looked in to Dyslexia because of this, because the second I'm given a sequential list, I immediately forget it. Give me directions, a phone number, three simple steps to follow, you fucking name it, I'll forget it in one second.

I've had trouble with depression and social anxiety for a while, and this on top of it can be a real killer some times. It just makes me feel really stupid. Because I have such trouble remembering stuff, and I find it really difficult to talk about a lot of things with any real confidence.

I'm sorry I can't be much help, other than having had similar experiences. I just want to thank you for posting this though. I found comfort in reading someone who's experienced something similar, and I definitely think you're on to something with your last paragraph.

Thanks a lot for this. Makes me feel less... crazy, idk. Heh. Thinking about this got me googling about depression and memory, read some stuff about the shrinking hippocampus and so on. Definitely would make sense, I've had really dulled feelings for years now as well. Shit's scary. It's time to make some changes...

 

[DrM]

More than anything, I'm impressed you've gotten something going with nine girls in the recent past! Holy hell, man. Maybe it is just a bad string of coincidences.

Re: your job, is there noone there you can talk to about the bad toll it's taking on you physically? Surely it's in your employer's best interest that their employees not be deteriorating physically. One would think there'd be something to be done about it.

In the mean time, I hope you're able to get some rest when possible.

Well, I am quite active at meeting other people, so it often happens that I meet a girl and conversations starts... until she message me that she found another several days later. I really do not believe that is just a string of coincidences, more like really bad luck or something.

There are about 2000 people too much at company and managers do not care about workers. If you are too loud, you will be sacked over the day. I can only tell stuff to our store supervisor, but he is clueless moron. I moved my vacation up to end of August, because I have enough.

Oh, remember that girl that invited me to open air festival and she mailed me several days later that she is meeting somebody else? Well, we were mailing for whole week and I wrote a very sad sounding mail yesterday, so she called me several hours later and asked me why did I wrote that. Well, I told her everything and she really opened my eyes during two hour long phone call.

 

[zeemumu]

Getting by without a stable support system is difficult. I'm grateful that I can function as my own person but it still takes a bit of a toll on me.

 

[Symphonia]

I'm struggling here and I don't know what to do. I need someone to talk to, to get advice from.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

I was going to write something about it, but hit a little close.

Campus Suicide and the Pressure of Perfection

http://lifeisstrange.com/talk/
this is good of them

 

[Martal]

Hey all, first post here but been having issues for a while now. I'm currently abroad so I can't turn to any professionals for help. That's why I wanted to post here.

I know everything is OK but I am struggling to be happy and I feel like I'm being persecuted or pursued. I feel like every moment now someone or something is going to get me. I know this is completely irrational but the feeling is to great to overcome. Do you guys feel the same sometimes and do you have a way to fight / accept it?

Many thanks

 

[Pau]

I was going to write something about it, but hit a little close.

Campus Suicide and the Pressure of Perfection

This is definitely something I'm still dealing with. It's gotten a lot better since high school and after dropping out of college and then going back, but still can eat away at me.

 

[J D]

.

 

[jb1234]

This is definitely something I'm still dealing with. It's gotten a lot better since high school and after dropping out of college and then going back, but still can eat away at me.

I think you're amazing. And I still want a Mario Kart 8 rematch!

 

[megatronium]

I'm doing ok nowadays. I've accepted that I'm going to prison. I'm still sober. Still dealing with bipolar/mdd but meds are helping. Still seeing psychiatrists and counselors. Will try to keep status updated.

 

[zeemumu]

Panic attacks are to heart attacks what waterboarding is to drowning.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

I think you're amazing. And I still want a Mario Kart 8 rematch!

She doesn't like cold pizza.

That's not right, man.

 

[Common Knowledge]

I was going to write something about it, but hit a little close.

Campus Suicide and the Pressure of Perfection

http://lifeisstrange.com/talk/
this is good of them

That was a good article to read, thanks for sharing it. I think the educations system, and really society at large, demand way too much of a step-by-step, rigid structure of how to become a successful person. It's like you got to remain in this little box of expectations put forth on everybody if you want a high chance of being successful in life, and if you stray from the little societal box, you may still end up successful, but you risk a lot in doing so.

It's no wonder people these days feel so much pressure and anxiety. I know the feeling firsthand.

Also, this quote from the comment section of the article really stood out to me. I definitely agree with it.

Devin K
I used to think self-betterment meant working harder in lab, networking with colleagues to posture for future employment, going to the gym, whitening my teeth and a whole host of other endeavors that require a robotic dedication to self-perfection. While my 'transformation' was well intentioned, it also misses the underlying point. The betterment of one's self is not to perfect how others receive us or how strong our resume is, but to accept our multitude of quirks, imperfections and perceived shortcomings as beautifully human. The single most important test in one's life is looking in the mirror and loving one's self. Character, integrity, dependability, kindness, discipline, morality, lifestyle, friendship, love. These are the elements of our beings that truly matter. They're not boxes to check off or attain 100% completion; they are principles that demand active pursuit each and every day of our lives. My heart goes out to any and all suffering from anxiety and depression and I pray that we can remember it is never too late to start loving ourselves.

 

[RoyaleDuke]

I'm trying to hang in there, some days are better than others.

I'm volunteering at a beer drinking festival on the first, I hope I can have some fun doing that.

 

[jb1234]

She doesn't like cold pizza.

That's not right, man.

HEY.

 

[bronkonagurski]

I feel like an afterthought, just a forgotten entity in my life. I have a good job and I can pay my bills and such, but such loneliness. I don't know...

 

[Watcher]

I feel like an afterthought, just a forgotten entity in my life. I have a good job and I can pay my bills and such, but such loneliness. I don't know...

Are you me?

 

[Zeyphersan]

Just browsed my ex-girlfriend's Facebook page. I knew it was going to go poorly, didn't know how poorly

I feel like an afterthought, just a forgotten entity in my life. I have a good job and I can pay my bills and such, but such loneliness. I don't know...

Aye

 

[DrM]

Well, guys, I have decided - I am quitting my job at the end of the year at latest. If I will be without it for a while, fine, I made some reserves.

Why this sudden change? Well, I came to conclusion - I am 30 years old and this is the last chance that I have to end this endless spiral in which I have fallen three years ago. This job is taking its toll on me, my health is deteriorating, I am suffering mentally...Otherwise my fate will be sealed and I will be stuck in this store for another 5 or so years....

Plus they want me to take over administrator job in store for 30 &#8364; more each month. I just nicely said "fuck you" yesterday, when they tried to talk me into it

 

[Piano]

Thanks for the advice!

I think (although I'm not entirely sure) it's fear of failure and seeing what I've become.

I go to an art class every Thursday at the very least now, but my weekends aren't at all productive sadly. I'm trying to get stuff done, but my energy is pretty much nonexistent. I desperately need to get my portfolio together and get a new job, especially since every Sunday I feel a great sense of despair at the week ahead.

I've been putting it off out of fear, but I may very well do.

I do hope you look into it; I think it could be of great benefit.

I have similar Sunday night experiences; sadness, anxiety, the such. I can assure you that the more time you spend examining those feelings, learning what makes them tick, what they consist of, what makes them worse or better, the more you learn to cope and the more it becomes tolerable. A year ago I used to cry every Sunday night; not it's more like one in four. Sunday nights are tremendously tough!

Also, if you ever want to share some of your art I'm sure we'd all love to see it
(at least I'd love to see it!)

Getting by without a stable support system is difficult. I'm grateful that I can function as my own person but it still takes a bit of a toll on me.

It's not too late to build one, though, and I would volunteer that perhaps support systems are never completely stable. It seems as though life is a constant journey of transitions and adjustments, as we're all moving around everywhere all the time, trying to adapt to the infinite changes large and small. I have a decent support system these days, but what's interesting is how different it is from the support system I had, say, six years ago. I'm sure six years from now will be its own radical departure.

It absolutely is difficult, though, and I hope you're able to find the strength to withstand the difficulties. It is wonderful that you're able to function on your own as a person, at least a small amount, even if it does take a toll on you - many of us can't even get that far.

I feel like an afterthought, just a forgotten entity in my life. I have a good job and I can pay my bills and such, but such loneliness. I don't know...

I'm sorry things are tough, bronkonagurski.
Do you have anyone in your life currently that you feel you connect with?

Well, guys, I have decided - I am quitting my job at the end of the year at latest. If I will be without it for a while, fine, I made some reserves.

Why this sudden change? Well, I came to conclusion - I am 30 years old and this is the last chance that I have to end this endless spiral in which I have fallen three years ago. This job is taking its toll on me, my health is deteriorating, I am suffering mentally...Otherwise my fate will be sealed and I will be stuck in this store for another 5 or so years....

Plus they want me to take over administrator job in store for 30 &#8364; more each month. I just nicely said "fuck you" yesterday, when they tried to talk me into it

I'm glad you're making decisions for your better health, DrM; hopefully it'll give you more hope when looking at the future

Just browsed my ex-girlfriend's Facebook page. I knew it was going to go poorly, didn't know how poorly

Yeah I fall into that trap now and then.
I think I've slowly gotten more numb to it.
It still stings, though.

I'm trying to hang in there, some days are better than others.

I'm volunteering at a beer drinking festival on the first, I hope I can have some fun doing that.

That sounds cool! Will you be checking admissions or what? I think that has the potential to be quite fun.

<3

 

[User 479360]

Well, I never heard back about the job at the library. Oh well. I didn't really want it anyways.

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, too, and told her I've been feeling better since quitting Cymbalta, and that I've been taking a break from meds. She had given me Trintillex (if that's what it's called) but I only took it a couple of times before deciding on the break. Mostly because she told me it wont' help my anxiety, which can get bad.

I'm always worrying about my Mom's health, although she's doing well in a rehab setting where she's regaining mobility. But the unknown that comes with cancer scares the Hell out of me. I hope and pray she's still cancer free, but it eats at me hourly.

 

[jb1234]

Just got the news that my best friend and his wife are very likely moving to Europe within a few months. It's a great opportunity for them and I'm trying to be supportive but I'm devastated. They were really the last close friends I have locally, I've known him since I was a kid. It's going to become a much lonelier city without them around. Been crying off and on since the phone call. I'm in a flare so my mood was trash to begin with.

I also had the standing offer that I could move in with them if my illness became unmanageable, which it basically already is. Definitely trying not to think about what I'm going to do in that situation now. I guess on one hand, it's nice to know that I won't end up tying them down to one location. I never wanted to be a burden to anyone even if that's what I usually end up being anyway.

Just got the news that it's confirmed. In fact, he's in Germany right now just having finished the final interviews (but he'll be flying back home for my birthday party). I knew it was a strong possibility so I had time to prepare for it but it's still a kick in the nads.

 

[Izayoi]

Hey guys... just wanted to say that SSRIs (in my case, Sertraline) have been extremely effective for me. I was very apprehensive about taking any kind of medication for mental health before my primary care physician convinced me to at least give it a try. It has completely changed my outlook on life for the better.

If you are worried about at least trying some kind of medication, don't be! It's not for everyone, but my hesitancy was completely unfounded. I started on 25mg/day and over the course of about two months worked up to 100mg/day, which looks like it's going to be my final dose.

With the recent addition of Bupropion, my depression and anxiety has pretty much completely gone away. My worst days now are better than my best days before I got treatment.

In any case, don't be afraid because you have some preconceived notion of what psychiatric medication is and/or does.

Have a nice evening, guys. :3

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Hey guys... just wanted to say that SSRIs (in my case, Sertraline) have been extremely effective for me. I was very apprehensive about taking any kind of medication for mental health before my primary care physician convinced me to at least give it a try. It has completely changed my outlook on life for the better.

If you are worried about at least trying some kind of medication, don't be! It's not for everyone, but my hesitancy was completely unfounded. I started on 25mg/day and over the course of about two months worked up to 100mg/day, which looks like it's going to be my final dose.

With the recent addition of Bupropion, my depression and anxiety has pretty much completely gone away. My worst days now are better than my best days before I got treatment.

In any case, don't be afraid because you have some preconceived notion of what psychiatric medication is and/or does.

Have a nice evening, guys. :3

Well said. The myths and misunderstanding of antidepressant medication can do more damage than good.

And good luck.

 

[LuuKyK]

I have a flight tomorrow and even if its not a long one (around 3 hours) it always makes me extremely nervous and anxious. I feel really REALLY bad. Anyone else here suffers from this? Any tips for feeling calmer or something? I can't really take any medicines since I have stuff to do since I am there. ps: this flights don't have movies to watch or anything like that.

 

[RoyaleDuke]

I


That sounds cool! Will you be checking admissions or what? I think that has the potential to be quite fun.

<3

Basically, I get assigned to a booth that has a bunch of taps and I pour beer for the people visiting the brewfest.

A bunch of local breweries are there, some of my personal favorites(Grimm Brothers Brewing, although I wish Prost Brewing was there instead lol) along with Crooked Stave Artisan Beer Projects who specialize in Sour beers.

I am looking forward to seeing Crooked Stave, I'm hoping that they might have their Vielle provisional Saison on tap. I love saisons.

 

[MikeDip]

Hey guys... just wanted to say that SSRIs (in my case, Sertraline) have been extremely effective for me. I was very apprehensive about taking any kind of medication for mental health before my primary care physician convinced me to at least give it a try. It has completely changed my outlook on life for the better.

If you are worried about at least trying some kind of medication, don't be! It's not for everyone, but my hesitancy was completely unfounded. I started on 25mg/day and over the course of about two months worked up to 100mg/day, which looks like it's going to be my final dose.

With the recent addition of Bupropion, my depression and anxiety has pretty much completely gone away. My worst days now are better than my best days before I got treatment.

In any case, don't be afraid because you have some preconceived notion of what psychiatric medication is and/or does.

Have a nice evening, guys. :3

Rockin'

Good stuff mate

 

[Izayoi]

Well said. The myths and misunderstanding of antidepressant medication can do more damage than good.

And good luck.

Thank you!

My family had a lot to do with my suspicion of medications. They have always been very anti-psychiatric care (and kind of anti-medicine in general, which is ironic seeing as I'm now in the medical field), thinking that it's simply a matter "mental fortitude" that can somehow be overcome by willpower alone.

Even now that I am pretty much completely out of their sphere of influence, it took a lot of convincing before I was able to get over that and give it shot. I wish I would've done so much sooner.

 

[zeemumu]

Looking into causes and solutions for extreme amounts of apathy. I feel like if I can get through that then I can sort out a plan where I could use the newfound motivation to find a hobby to take up my time to allow me withstand the stress of school home and work life and hopefully meet some new people who share that hobby, then go from there.

If anyone has any advice for getting out of apathy I'd be grateful.

 

[smokeandmirrors]

I'm such a failure. the rest of my family and friends all have or working to starting their lives and im just here wallowing in self pity over my inability to do anything. No job. Can't sleep. Lethargic. Can't focus. I had hobbies that I no longer do. I'm embarrassed about my interests, like I have to hide things I'm interested and I can't figure why. I'm never going to live the life I want. I'm just going to waste it doing nothing because it's almost like I physically can't.

 

[Kipp]

I'm starting to realize more and more that anxiety is a huge problem for me. It's so embedded in me though and I'm just so used to it by now that it took me so long to figure it out.

With that said, has anyone here had luck with Buspar or any other slow-release anti-anxiety drugs for GAD-type symptoms? As opposed to stuff like benzos which I believe are more for panic attacks and other more short-term uses.

I also really really need to find a therapist... I ought to just book a doctor's appointment sometime soon. I need to ask about increasing my SSRI dosage, getting anti-anxiety meds, and getting referred to a therapist.

 

[zeemumu]

I'm such a failure. the rest of my family and friends all have or working to starting their lives and im just here wallowing in self pity over my inability to do anything. No job. Can't sleep. Lethargic. Can't focus. I had hobbies that I no longer do. I'm embarrassed about my interests, like I have to hide things I'm interested and I can't figure why. I'm never going to live the life I want. I'm just going to waste it doing nothing because it's almost like I physically can't.

Basing yourself off of what everyone else is doing is a crapshoot. Everyone has different lives and a different series of events that leads to where they are now. Your chain of events do not match the chain of events of your friends or family, and your goals might not either (the general goal of making money might but the specifics will be different). Be happy for your friends and family and continue doing what you're doing. It's not a race. You just have to get there.

 

[smokeandmirrors]

Basing yourself off of what everyone else is doing is a crapshoot. Everyone has different lives and a different series of events that leads to where they are now. Your chain of events do not match the chain of events of your friends or family, and your goals might not either (the general goal of making money might but the specifics will be different). Be happy for your friends and family and continue doing what you're doing. It's not a race. You just have to get there.

Oh i'm happy for them. I'm not entirely basing myself on them, it's more of a self reflection on my life. No job, almost out of money, feeling like a failure, etc.

 

[Izayoi]

I also really really need to find a therapist... I ought to just book a doctor's appointment sometime soon. I need to ask about increasing my SSRI dosage, getting anti-anxiety meds, and getting referred to a therapist.

Sounds like a very solid plan to me.

Which SSRI are you currently taking?

 

[karasu]

I'm starting to realize more and more that anxiety is a huge problem for me. It's so embedded in me though and I'm just so used to it by now that it took me so long to figure it out.

With that said, has anyone here had luck with Buspar or any other slow-release anti-anxiety drugs for GAD-type symptoms? As opposed to stuff like benzos which I believe are more for panic attacks and other more short-term uses.

I also really really need to find a therapist... I ought to just book a doctor's appointment sometime soon. I need to ask about increasing my SSRI dosage, getting anti-anxiety meds, and getting referred to a therapist.

I have severe anxiety as well and Buspar does fuck all for me. Effexor and wellbutrin have gotten me out of the house, but I still fall apart in social situations so I'll have to ask my doc for some rhinoceros type shit.

 

[Kipp]

Sounds like a very solid plan to me.

Which SSRI are you currently taking?

Escitalopram 20mg
For the first month that it had kicked in (which was about 6 weeks after I began taking it), it worked absolutely brilliantly. Definitely the happiest I've ever been that I can remember. And then after a month of bliss I started to backtrack a bit. I'm still definitely not back at square one, but I'm not where I'd like to be at all.

I have severe anxiety as well and Buspar does fuck all for me. Effexor and wellbutrin have gotten me out of the house, but I still fall apart in social situations so I'll have to ask my doc for some rhinoceros type shit.

Good to know, thanks! Obviously I'll leave it up to a doctor to decide what meds are appropriate, but I like having a general idea of what's what. So thank you!
I'm glad you've found some sort of combo that works for your anxiety too. Best of luck in continuing to get better.

 

[MikeDip]

My OCD is going into full gear, I need to buy something. Really really need to buy something.

 

[Lionheart1827]

Just got the news that it's confirmed. In fact, he's in Germany right now just having finished the final interviews (but he'll be flying back home for my birthday party). I knew it was a strong possibility so I had time to prepare for it but it's still a kick in the nads.

Well you still got some family here brohammer!

 

[DrM]

I'm glad you're making decisions for your better health, DrM; hopefully it'll give you more hope when looking at the future

I do not know, something moved in my head this week. Maybe call on Sunday from that girl really triggered that and it was the thing that I really needed right now. What is so special on a girl that friendzoned you in a few days, you will ask? Well, she offered me her full support, she understand my struggle, because she is going through similar mess on her own.

Slowly going forward, there will be fireworks when I announce this to my parents. Probably after I return from my vacation.

 

[Piano]

Well, I never heard back about the job at the library. Oh well. I didn't really want it anyways.

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, too, and told her I've been feeling better since quitting Cymbalta, and that I've been taking a break from meds. She had given me Trintillex (if that's what it's called) but I only took it a couple of times before deciding on the break. Mostly because she told me it wont' help my anxiety, which can get bad.

I'm always worrying about my Mom's health, although she's doing well in a rehab setting where she's regaining mobility. But the unknown that comes with cancer scares the Hell out of me. I hope and pray she's still cancer free, but it eats at me hourly.

Is your psychiatrist going to make another recommendation for your anxiety?
Also, I'm sorry about your mother, Chewie. No two ways around it, worrying about the health of a family member can be quite taxing. I hope for the best.

I have a flight tomorrow and even if its not a long one (around 3 hours) it always makes me extremely nervous and anxious. I feel really REALLY bad. Anyone else here suffers from this? Any tips for feeling calmer or something? I can't really take any medicines since I have stuff to do since I am there. ps: this flights don't have movies to watch or anything like that.

Are you nervous at your safety / the safety of the plane? Or is it the tight quarters that get to you? Or something else entirely?

Basically, I get assigned to a booth that has a bunch of taps and I pour beer for the people visiting the brewfest.

A bunch of local breweries are there, some of my personal favorites(Grimm Brothers Brewing, although I wish Prost Brewing was there instead lol) along with Crooked Stave Artisan Beer Projects who specialize in Sour beers.

I am looking forward to seeing Crooked Stave, I'm hoping that they might have their Vielle provisional Saison on tap. I love saisons.

That sounds like a good time, RoyaleDuke! I've never heard of any of those ... they're local craft beers, I'm assuming?

Looking into causes and solutions for extreme amounts of apathy. I feel like if I can get through that then I can sort out a plan where I could use the newfound motivation to find a hobby to take up my time to allow me withstand the stress of school home and work life and hopefully meet some new people who share that hobby, then go from there.

If anyone has any advice for getting out of apathy I'd be grateful.

Well, my question would be, what precipitated your slide into apathy? Have you always been apathetic, or is it something that has developed sometime in the last 5 or 10 years? If it's something that's developed as you've grown older there must be some sort of catalyst, or perhaps multiple. Certainly there must be several factors. The question is - what are they?

I'm such a failure. the rest of my family and friends all have or working to starting their lives and im just here wallowing in self pity over my inability to do anything. No job. Can't sleep. Lethargic. Can't focus. I had hobbies that I no longer do. I'm embarrassed about my interests, like I have to hide things I'm interested and I can't figure why. I'm never going to live the life I want. I'm just going to waste it doing nothing because it's almost like I physically can't.

Notrollious, I'm sorry you're having a tough time.
It's tempting to compare ourselves to our contemporaries but we must realize that we're only seeing the side they choose to show; thus, such a comparison is never fair to ourselves.
Have you reached out to any of these friends or your family about the difficulties you're going through? It can help tremendously to unpack feelings with someone else and have a sense that they at least sort of understand.

I'm starting to realize more and more that anxiety is a huge problem for me. It's so embedded in me though and I'm just so used to it by now that it took me so long to figure it out.

With that said, has anyone here had luck with Buspar or any other slow-release anti-anxiety drugs for GAD-type symptoms? As opposed to stuff like benzos which I believe are more for panic attacks and other more short-term uses.

I also really really need to find a therapist... I ought to just book a doctor's appointment sometime soon. I need to ask about increasing my SSRI dosage, getting anti-anxiety meds, and getting referred to a therapist.

On the contrary to karasu's experience, Buspar worked REALLY well for my GAD symptoms. Just goes to show that your mileage may vary. If nothing else it's a very benign drug with no risk of dependency so there is little to worry about in considering it.

I had a similar realization about anxiety being behind a lot of my problems but it took me many years to get there. Hopefully you can make more sense of things as you continue to reframe them. I definitely encourage you to follow up with your doctor.

<3

 

[Kipp]

On the contrary to karasu's experience, Buspar worked REALLY well for my GAD symptoms. Just goes to show that your mileage may vary. If nothing else it's a very benign drug with no risk of dependency so there is little to worry about in considering it.

I had a similar realization about anxiety being behind a lot of my problems but it took me many years to get there. Hopefully you can make more sense of things as you continue to reframe them. I definitely encourage you to follow up with your doctor.

<3

It's nice to hear a success story! I'm glad it worked well for you!

And thank you for the encouragement!