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[rrvv]

What should I do when I cannot find Therapist in my area?

 

[redlegs87]

Went to the doctor thinking I wouldn't have lost much weight but I am down 17 lbs in a month! I know it won't always be this fast to shed the weight but it's really helping my mood out from such good news.

I hope everyone in here is having a good day and feeling well.

 

[1.21Gigawatts]

I just came home from the funeral of one of my friends. He commited suicide last week.
Thats the second friend of mine who commited suicide(he wasn't as close as the first one, we played football(soccers) together).
They both didn't show any signs of depression, at least none anyone would have noticed.
Today we buried a guy who had tons of friends, always seemed happy, was super competitive and supportive as the captain of our football team.
I just don't get it people...

I mean, I understand that nobody is running around as an open book, but he was probably playing a character when he was with other people for months or even years now - a happy character while on the inside he was devestated.

 

[DiddysKongQuest]

Things are taking a dark and ugly turn. As you know, I deleted the phone number of my ex a couple of days ago and was fine until she uploaded the instagram picture. My brother wrote a really hateful message to her that day because he saw much I suffered because of it. I told him 100 times not to, but he couldn't be helped.

After ignoring the texts of my ex (she just asked when she can pick up her clothes from my place), I decided to answer her. She told me that someone is calling anonymously daily and is calling her a whore amongst other horrible things. It probably was one of my friends, maybe even my brother, but it is absolutely disgusting that someone does this to her.

I'm so tired of this.

 

[Kipp]

Man, today and yesterday have been some of the worst days for me in a long time... Anxiety and depression both through the roof, so much so that my friends at work even noticed (I'm usually really great at hiding it) and were comforting me a bit.
Work has been incredibly stressful... I think I'm going to look for a new job. As much as I do love this job and love my employees (I'm the general manager of a frozen yogurt shop) the owner is incredibly harsh and only criticizes the small mistakes I do without recognizing all of the things I do right.
But the main thing that's stressful is that I'm on-call 24/7. I literally get texts and phone calls that I need to respond to 24/7.
And I really don't get paid enough. It's not worth it for me. It's sending my anxiety through the roof.
I've almost broke down in tears quite a few times today and yesterday from some small misunderstanding me and the owner had which she got incredibly upset about and was texting me about all through my friend's wedding rehearsal...
I'm only sharing small tidbits of the story since I don't want to write an essay, but I guess that's enough info about my job to get where I'm coming from.

Also had my doctor's appointment yesterday. He doesn't seem to know what he's talking about with psych meds, which is slightly discomforting.
With that said, he switched me from Lexapro to Zoloft and also gave me a script for Buspirone, so we'll see how things go.

 

[bigmit3737]

Man, today and yesterday have been some of the worst days for me in a long time... Anxiety and depression both through the roof, so much so that my friends at work even noticed (I'm usually really great at hiding it) and were comforting me a bit.
Work has been incredibly stressful... I think I'm going to look for a new job. As much as I do love this job and love my employees (I'm the general manager of a frozen yogurt shop) the owner is incredibly harsh and only criticizes the small mistakes I do without recognizing all of the things I do right.
But the main thing that's stressful is that I'm on-call 24/7. I literally get texts and phone calls that I need to respond to 24/7.
And I really don't get paid enough. It's not worth it for me. It's sending my anxiety through the roof.
I've almost broke down in tears quite a few times today and yesterday from some small misunderstanding me and the owner had which she got incredibly upset about and was texting me about all through my friend's wedding rehearsal...
I'm only sharing small tidbits of the story since I don't want to write an essay, but I guess that's enough info about my job to get where I'm coming from.

Also had my doctor's appointment yesterday. He doesn't seem to know what he's talking about with psych meds, which is slightly discomforting.
With that said, he switched me from Lexapro to Zoloft and also gave me a script for Buspirone, so we'll see how things go.

Go see a pysch and a good psych.
I don't why your doctor is giving you two meds at one time. My docs always made me try a med first and see how I reacted and what symptoms diminished.

B-complex and Magniesum helps some people during stressful time .

Ginger, tumeric and cumin -- all digestive aids also really helped me with deal with stress and also redcued some my anxiety. I made out a tea out of all ofthem and drank them through our the day.

 

[Lionheart1827]

Things have been okay. Not great, not godawful, just okay. I'm still coming to terms with my friend having moved overseas but he pops onto Steam (for work) at 1 AM my time so that gives me a few hours with him before I go to bed. I spent last night with his wife because I worry about her being lonely during this transitional phase (she's out here alone for the next few weeks wrapping things up in America) and we watched Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. Badass movie.

In the meantime, I've been strengthening contacts both long-distance and local. My buddy was never someone who I overly depended on (and there were periods I didn't see him for a couple of months even though we lived thirty minutes away) but he was such a dependable presence that his absence has made me acutely aware that I need to focus on other friendships, especially the local ones as I don't have much of a social network out here.

This hasn't been easy. My health makes it difficult for me to get out and I'm finding that a lot of local friendships really expect you to actually do stuff. The reason I have a lot of online and long distance friends is because that nature of relationship is fairly easy for me to maintain from home. But at the same time, as wonderful as those people are, there's nothing quite like having another human in the same room as you.

I'm working on it.

I got your back brohammer. And there are plenty of other people that are still here for ya. You got this bro.

 

[Femmeworth]

I haven't seen my psychiatrist in months and I'm kind of tired of seeing him. I still have enough medication for another ~three months so I'm not in too much danger, but I've been trying to look into other doctors in my area. Not having any luck. Called two different offices and they weren't accepting new patients. I've been told that there aren't enough doctors in my area, which explains why my psychiatrist was overbooking like mad.

 

[jb1234]

I got your back brohammer. And there are plenty of other people that are still here for ya. You got this bro.

My online support system isn't in question, bro. Of the top of my head, I can think of eight people who are very loyal to me. But none of those eight are capable of giving physical support, like helping me with groceries (when needed) or visiting me at the hospital if I ever need extended care. That's weighing pretty heavily on me right now and I'm not sure if it's fixable at this point but I'm looking at options.

 

[Bel Marduk]

Does anyone here have experience with ECT?

I feel like I need to do something different because I've tried most things people would normally do to combat depression but it always comes back to me worse than before.

My brother offed himself last year and it was, of course, devastating to my family and I don't want to put them through that again but at the same time, I have no reason to live. I've got nothing to look forward to and I can't extract joy out of anything -- even hobbies that I used to have.

People see how meticulously I study the branches of trees and if they would be able to support the weight of 145 pounds.

I need to do something drastic and soon before its too late. I can already feel the warm grip around my neck and the vultures are circling over me.

 

[Kipp]

Fuck... This is so frustrating. The weather is turning colder which is my favorite time of the year, but I can't even enjoy it in the slightest. Complete and total anhedonia is back...
The worst is waking up with absolutely nothing to look forward to, just waking up simply to go through the motions and get through the day.

This is the worst I've been since before I started on meds, I think... Hopefully the Zoloft I'll be starting sometime this week works better than the Lexapro I guess.

Can't stand being on the edge of tears constantly. There's just nothing in life right now.

 

[Captain Tuttle]

Does anyone here have experience with ECT?

I feel like I need to do something different because I've tried most things people would normally do to combat depression but it always comes back to me worse than before.

My brother offed himself last year and it was, of course, devastating to my family and I don't want to put them through that again but at the same time, I have no reason to live. I've got nothing to look forward to and I can't extract joy out of anything -- even hobbies that I used to have.

People see how meticulously I study the branches of trees and if they would be able to support the weight of 145 pounds.

I need to do something drastic and soon before its too late. I can already feel the warm grip around my neck and the vultures are circling over me.

You need to call a professional right now. I mean it.

 

[karasu]

fuck. I've started getting split second hallucinations and I'm having a terrible time distinguishing dreams from memories. I think I'm unraveling. My meds are keeping my depression/anhedonia at bay. But I know not what this new fuckery is.

 

[Piano]

I don't actually know how to get a counselor here...I got one the last time from a place that helps you find work (company I worked for back then went into administration so we lost our jobs) but I feel like it won't help anyway

Idk I feel like i'm my own worst enemy, I hate myself so I make really bad choices that make everything worse and i'm not even conscious i'm doing it.

Gah I feel like i should have had a few relationships by now too looking at every single one of my friends settling down makes it worse... I understand why they don't do things with me as much anymore and I feel like I should be at that stage too but i've never even had a date let alone a kiss :/ I;ve even tried internet dating and get nowhere...Maybe it's my looks or the fact i'm boring...blegh my head is fried!

Also, thank you

Why do you feel that a therapist won't help? You mention that you're your own worst enemy and are struggling to be conscious of the things you do to perpetuate your suffering - a big goal of therapy is to make those unconscious behaviors and patterns conscious and then slowly work to unwind them and replace them with better habits.

As for finding a therapist, if you have insurance you should be able to contact your insurance agency and get a list of covered providers in your area. Sometimes they even have this info on their website as a searchable database, which is nice. Alternatively you can ask someone, such as a GP, for a referral.

I encourage you to look into it!

I have been outside more just walking to get in shape. Probably a combination of the endorphins from the exercise and getting out of the house more. That and I am just eating better so I don't feel like crap all the time from the stuff I use to stuff my face with.

Yeah, man oh man, both of those things can really, really help and I give you all the credit in the world for being able to develop positive behaviors like that. It isn't easy!

Things have been okay. Not great, not godawful, just okay. I'm still coming to terms with my friend having moved overseas but he pops onto Steam (for work) at 1 AM my time so that gives me a few hours with him before I go to bed. I spent last night with his wife because I worry about her being lonely during this transitional phase (she's out here alone for the next few weeks wrapping things up in America) and we watched Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. Badass movie.

In the meantime, I've been strengthening contacts both long-distance and local. My buddy was never someone who I overly depended on (and there were periods I didn't see him for a couple of months even though we lived thirty minutes away) but he was such a dependable presence that his absence has made me acutely aware that I need to focus on other friendships, especially the local ones as I don't have much of a social network out here.

This hasn't been easy. My health makes it difficult for me to get out and I'm finding that a lot of local friendships really expect you to actually do stuff. The reason I have a lot of online and long distance friends is because that nature of relationship is fairly easy for me to maintain from home. But at the same time, as wonderful as those people are, there's nothing quite like having another human in the same room as you.

I'm working on it.

And it sounds like your work is begetting progress, even if it is slow. I know in my heart of hearts that you can find a better balance that works for you and your heath, jb, improvised though it all may seem.

Since being without a job, I've been bad about taking my meds.

You need to be taking your medications as prescribed. Period. If you want to change your medications, do so under the direction of a doctor. If you have not resumed taking your medications or gotten in touch with your doctor yet, I strongly urge you to do so immediately.

i told him i was gay, he mentioned that word many times (to parents) it was weird =/

You need to make sure he's gay friendly, Sub Boss, and if he's not you need to get out of there pronto. Also, I'm not sure why he would be telling you you're doing everything wrong - I mean, not that there isn't sometimes some valid advice and direction in that sort of sentiment but it seems to me that it shouldn't be delivered like that.

I know the idea of starting over with another therapist seems like a total bummer (and it is a drag) but it may be necessary.

It wouldn't, because they are the only people that I see on a daily basis. Doesn't help that they are both stressing me out and increasing my anxiety.

It's also one of the reasons why I just try to get away from them, either going to the gym or going for walks for long hours.

First of all, I'm glad you've been able to route your frustrations into positive behaviors at least - walking or working out. It's not easy to do!

Clearly some social contact is a necessity, Blues1990. There's no magic trick to attaining a social life, none that I've found anyways - it just takes persistence, care, and a dash of luck and/or good timing. I really do believe that we're all capable of finding social contact out in the world, we just have to know what we're looking for and how best to go searching for it. The general advice is constantly repeated - join organizations, ask people questions about themselves if you don't want to talk about yourself, etc - and the specifics are something only you, or you in conjunction with a therapist or counselor can figure out.

I hope that helps even somewhat. Excuse me if you've answered this previously, but are you receiving any therapy or counseling currently?

I'm emotionally unsatisfied.

- I find my career path unrewarding. In order to make it rewarding I would have to give up more time then I would be willing to put in. The pay will never be good enough.
- I lost a shit load of weight yet still feel fat and am constantly worried about gaining it all back. I miss eating for enjoyment.
- My friendships aren't meeting my needs. I feel I give more than I get.
- I hate myself.

1. Is there any career detour or alternate career path that you could consider if you find the one you're on to be a dead end?
2. One would hope that you could replace eating for enjoyment with other activities for enjoyment. I think it's fantastic that you've lost a lot of weight - it's not easy to do! Are there any other activities you've found that reward you in a similar way? Or was it an escape thing?
3. Is there any way you can talk to your friends about what you need from your relationships?
4. I'm sorry if I've already asked you this, but have you been in therapy at all? Hating yourself is going to trip you up every step of the way, and it's quite helpful to figure out how to work it out.

Back from my mini vacation. It was awesome, being all alone for three days Enjoyed in water massages, swimming around in the pools and bathing in so called black water - pristine hot thermal water with some oil residue in it (just imagine the smell). It was really black, you could see maybe 20 cm under the surface. Well, it worked wonders on my aching muscles. And weather was nice and I hiked around the spa each evening after dinner and I even done some sunbathing

And nobody bothered me - majority were pensioners and families. Chatted a bit with some girls from Austria and some other older folk at poolside and that was it.

That sounds amazing DrM, I'm so glad you had a great time!

What should I do when I cannot find Therapist in my area?

Have you gotten a list of covered providers from your insurer?

Went to the doctor thinking I wouldn't have lost much weight but I am down 17 lbs in a month! I know it won't always be this fast to shed the weight but it's really helping my mood out from such good news.

I hope everyone in here is having a good day and feeling well.

WONDERFUL! I'm so glad to hear that, redlegs

I just came home from the funeral of one of my friends. He commited suicide last week.
Thats the second friend of mine who commited suicide(he wasn't as close as the first one, we played football(soccers) together).
They both didn't show any signs of depression, at least none anyone would have noticed.
Today we buried a guy who had tons of friends, always seemed happy, was super competitive and supportive as the captain of our football team.
I just don't get it people...

I mean, I understand that nobody is running around as an open book, but he was probably playing a character when he was with other people for months or even years now - a happy character while on the inside he was devestated.

I am so sorry for your loss, 1.21G.
None of us can ever truly "get" someone else's suffering, but we must imagine that he was in such a place, suffering to such an extent that it seemed like he only had one way out. It truly boggles the mind to consider suffering of that magnitude.

I hope you are able to find solace in this time of grief and are able to find others to talk to. Certainly do not hesitate to seek counseling if you feel you need it.

Things are taking a dark and ugly turn. As you know, I deleted the phone number of my ex a couple of days ago and was fine until she uploaded the instagram picture. My brother wrote a really hateful message to her that day because he saw much I suffered because of it. I told him 100 times not to, but he couldn't be helped.

After ignoring the texts of my ex (she just asked when she can pick up her clothes from my place), I decided to answer her. She told me that someone is calling anonymously daily and is calling her a whore amongst other horrible things. It probably was one of my friends, maybe even my brother, but it is absolutely disgusting that someone does this to her.

I'm so tired of this.

DKQ, you need to tell your friends to knock it off because not only is what they're doing not helping you but it's not okay, period. Harassment is never acceptable. That would make me reconsider whether I really wanted to be friends with someone.

As for her stuff, is there any way you can give it to someone you both know and have her work it out with that person? That way you can go back to no contact as quickly as possible.

Man, today and yesterday have been some of the worst days for me in a long time... Anxiety and depression both through the roof, so much so that my friends at work even noticed (I'm usually really great at hiding it) and were comforting me a bit.
Work has been incredibly stressful... I think I'm going to look for a new job. As much as I do love this job and love my employees (I'm the general manager of a frozen yogurt shop) the owner is incredibly harsh and only criticizes the small mistakes I do without recognizing all of the things I do right.
But the main thing that's stressful is that I'm on-call 24/7. I literally get texts and phone calls that I need to respond to 24/7.
And I really don't get paid enough. It's not worth it for me. It's sending my anxiety through the roof.
I've almost broke down in tears quite a few times today and yesterday from some small misunderstanding me and the owner had which she got incredibly upset about and was texting me about all through my friend's wedding rehearsal...
I'm only sharing small tidbits of the story since I don't want to write an essay, but I guess that's enough info about my job to get where I'm coming from.

Also had my doctor's appointment yesterday. He doesn't seem to know what he's talking about with psych meds, which is slightly discomforting.
With that said, he switched me from Lexapro to Zoloft and also gave me a script for Buspirone, so we'll see how things go.

Man, sorry things are so tough, Kipp.
Buspar and Zoloft sounds like a very reasonable combination for treating anxiety, so I'm curious to see how they work for you. I really do recommend that you get in with a dedicated psychiatrist and therapist, though, if you feel that you've hit your GP's limit in terms of helpfulness. When it comes down to it a doctor can't be good at EVERYTHING, it's just not possible.
For your job, perhaps it's worth sticking it out at least until you adjust to the medications to see if your perspective is any different when you're not saddled with so much anxiety and depression? When you're in a desperate emotional place everything seems more dire. You may still need to step away from your position but it'll be good to see it from a different angle.

I haven't seen my psychiatrist in months and I'm kind of tired of seeing him. I still have enough medication for another ~three months so I'm not in too much danger, but I've been trying to look into other doctors in my area. Not having any luck. Called two different offices and they weren't accepting new patients. I've been told that there aren't enough doctors in my area, which explains why my psychiatrist was overbooking like mad.

Tired of seeing him in what way?

Does anyone here have experience with ECT?

I feel like I need to do something different because I've tried most things people would normally do to combat depression but it always comes back to me worse than before.

My brother offed himself last year and it was, of course, devastating to my family and I don't want to put them through that again but at the same time, I have no reason to live. I've got nothing to look forward to and I can't extract joy out of anything -- even hobbies that I used to have.

I need to do something drastic and soon before its too late. I can already feel the warm grip around my neck and the buzzards circling over me.

ECT is generally a way-down-the-road treatment for those who have not responded to medications and therapy. While it can be very effective it's also an actual procedure, which makes it a "bigger deal" than the other options and, hence, way-down-the-road. Have you pursued other forms of mental health treatment?

I'm sorry things are difficult, Bel Marduk, and I hope we can find you some relief. In the mean time, if you are planning to harm yourself please, please seek emergency treatment.

<3

 

[More_Badass]

I hope you're able to make some sense of things with your therapist, MB. It sounds like you're taking some good steps. Did the diagnosis bring any sort of relief, or a greater understanding of what you're going through?

Yes, it has. For the longest time, I had been resistant and didn't want to accept it, but I think having an official diagnosis and someone to talk to about everything has really helped

Also made me aware of ton of resources. Like we started looking into social groups, and then I find out that my campus has a dedicated autism/asperger's program and has weekly social meetings, etc. I kind of regret not looking into that stuff earlier. College would have been a much better experience for me

The thing I'm working and trying to wrap my head around is disclosure. The only people who know are my parents and brother. My mom thinks I should tell my advisor and professor because this is the third time I'm taking a class (same professor too), and think about telling my grandparents. I know my grandma asked my mom once if I had aspergers.

But idk, I still feel weird about telling other people. Like they'll judge me differently, even though I know my grandparents are insanely supportive

 

[jb1234]

Also made me aware of ton of resources. Like we started looking into social groups, and then I find out that my campus has a dedicated autism/asperger's program and has weekly social meetings, etc. I kind of regret not looking into that stuff earlier. College would have been a much better experience for me

You have Asperger's too? *brofist*

I've found that age has really toned down my symptoms, although I'm not sure how much of that is a natural thing or just me being more observant of my behaviors and those of the people around me. I do wish I had gotten therapy for it when I was younger because I think it really could have helped me.

 

[More_Badass]

You have Asperger's too? *brofist*

I've found that age has really toned down my symptoms, although I'm not sure how much of that is a natural thing or just me being more observant of my behaviors and those of the people around me. I do wish I had gotten therapy for it when I was younger because I think it really could have helped me.

Yeah, I know what you mean. My parents were discussing my history with my therapist and there were so many things I didn't remember that I've gotten better at. Stuff like making eye contact, repetitive behaviors, etc.

The social aspect is where I'm severely lacking. Sometimes I feel jealous of my brother. He's ten years younger than me, and he'll be chatting with his friends playing Xbox in the other room, and it's so easy for him.

 

[jb1234]

Yeah, I know what you mean. My parents were discussing my history with my therapist and there were so many things I didn't remember that I've gotten better at. Stuff like making eye contact, repetitive behaviors, etc.

The social aspect is where I'm severely lacking. Sometimes I feel jealous of my brother. He's ten years younger than me, and he'll be chatting with his friends playing Xbox in the other room, and it's so easy for him.

Yeah, I'm finding that eye contact has gotten better, although there's still periods when I'm aware that I'm forcing myself to do it. My biggest issue at this point is obsessive thinking but I'm usually aware of when it's happening and able to assert a certain amount of control.

I've gotten better at it but I still find that in social situations that I'm more of a reactor as opposed to someone who instigates and maintains conversations. Definitely not the life of the party.

 

[Kipp]

Man, sorry things are so tough, Kipp.
Buspar and Zoloft sounds like a very reasonable combination for treating anxiety, so I'm curious to see how they work for you. I really do recommend that you get in with a dedicated psychiatrist and therapist, though, if you feel that you've hit your GP's limit in terms of helpfulness. When it comes down to it a doctor can't be good at EVERYTHING, it's just not possible.
For your job, perhaps it's worth sticking it out at least until you adjust to the medications to see if your perspective is any different when you're not saddled with so much anxiety and depression? When you're in a desperate emotional place everything seems more dire. You may still need to step away from your position but it'll be good to see it from a different angle.

Thanks for the reply, Piano.
But yeah, in regards to the doctor, for one example, he said that Buspar works immediately upon taking it (I'm assuming he was getting it mixed up with benzos or something) and it had absolutely no initial side effects. And that's just one of the many things he's said regarding psych meds, just getting super basic, factual stuff wrong, where I've been kind of scratching my head. He prescribes me stuff though, and in the end, the prescriptions seem reasonable, which I'm thankful for.
But yeah, I'd much prefer a psychiatrist and therapist. In your experience (or anyone else's), are psychiatrists more expensive than primary care doctor's? My insurance is really terrible, so that's kind of a big issue.
I still need to look into a therapist... I've been kind of putting it off. Don't really know why. Because of the cost, maybe. Even though I know it'd be well worth it if it was a good therapist... Not sure.

And yeah, I definitely agree regarding the job thing. Thanks for the advice.
I do think I might send out some applications out of state though still, because I've been wanting to move out of state (or just out of Southern California really; I want to live somewhere with seasons and somewhere greener) for years, but I keep getting held up because of just one little thing, and that thing at the moment is that I want to stay at my current job for at least a year so I can put it on my resume. But if I find another job out of state, then the resume point means a lot less since I'll have already found a job...
I feel like that is an all right plan of attack, since it can't hurt to throw some applications out there.
I certainly won't just quit my current job because of a particularly bad week of depression and anxiety though.
Thank you for the advice of taking a step back and making sure that's what I want when I'm in a clear mental state though. That's always solid advice.

With that said, all of today I've just had horrible anxiety in the back of my mind regarding that job, even though I didn't even work at that job today. I'm pretty sure that's more a symptom of my anxiety rather than the job though (though the job certainly isn't doing the anxiety any favors). Hopefully this will pass soon...

 

[MisterLuffy]

I have to make a hello world app for homework, and I'm struggling right now. I'm watching a tutorial and I got bored of it. I mean its interesting to learn something, but this isn't for me. Maybe CS isn't the major for me, on the other hand it's too late to switch majors. Sucks that I'm not interested in programming, I wish though.

 

[jb1234]

A couple of times last week while the weather was nice, I took a towel, walked to the park and stretched myself on it to take in the rays. I also brought my phone so I could play Dragon Quest III. It was really therapeutic for me and I've been bummed that the weather has been crappy the last several days. We even had a savage thunderstorm yesterday!

But good news! There's some sunny days forecast for next week (maybe the last of the year) so I'm pretty stoked. We never get enough sun here in Seattle (this last summer excepted, which was brutally hot) and I need to take better advantage of the times it's out.

 

[User 479360]

Fuck... This is so frustrating. The weather is turning colder which is my favorite time of the year, but I can't even enjoy it in the slightest. Complete and total anhedonia is back...
The worst is waking up with absolutely nothing to look forward to, just waking up simply to go through the motions and get through the day.

This is the worst I've been since before I started on meds, I think... Hopefully the Zoloft I'll be starting sometime this week works better than the Lexapro I guess.

Can't stand being on the edge of tears constantly. There's just nothing in life right now.

I know how you feel, because I'm the same way. Sleeping is my favourite part of every day, and I hate waking up. Waking up comes with the realization that I'm nowhere in life, and that my mental illness is so bad that I can't live a normal life like everyone else, including people who unknowingly and ignorantly snub their noses at me. Family members included.

I've been off meds for a few months, and I'm definitely noticing things worsening, but I need to wait for my disability to hopefully be approved. I still haven't heard back from the doctor, who I called over a week ago. Hopefully my papers are in the mail.

I need to call again.

But, yeah, waking up and realizing that it's just going to be another slog is awful. The anxiety (or just my general IBS) also makes it so that I usually wake up with pains in my stomach, which is always fun.

 

[Zeyphersan]

Yeah, I think I'm done. This may be the copious amount of alcohol talking, but I'm just kind of done with life in general. I'm a garbage sack of a human being who has A) been posting in this thread for far too long over the past however many months, and B) has finally reached the point where I accept that I will never change and it's time to just stop. I've been skirting around the idea of ending it for months now, almost a year, but I can't anymore. It's not getting better, it never will.

See ya'll on the other side

 

[Jordan]

Yeah, I think I'm done. This may be the copious amount of alcohol talking, but I'm just kind of done with life in general. I'm a garbage sack of a human being who has A) been posting in this thread for far too long over the past however many months, and B) has finally reached the point where I accept that I will never change and it's time to just stop. I've been skirting around the idea of ending it for months now, almost a year, but I can't anymore. It's not getting better, it never will.

See ya'll on the other side

Message me and talk to me. Don't do anything silly.

 

[DiddysKongQuest]

Message me and talk to me. Don't do anything silly.

I wrote him a message, but he didn't answer yet. I really hope that he is still with us

 

[Kipp]

Is stopping Lexapro/Escitalopram 20mg cold turkey a bad idea? Will there be significant withdrawals?
Just wondering, because that's what my doctor told me to do. And I even confirmed "So you just want me to quit taking escitalopram altogether now, right?" "Yep!"
A bit concerned about that, since I'd always assumed you tapered down, but maybe I haven't been on it long enough (5 months) to need a taper? Or maybe my doctor is just clueless.
Main reason I'm actually concerned now is because my head has started to do this strange thing seemingly out of nowhere where I'll go super lightheaded and faint for just a second, like a heartbeat almost. It's not ruining my life, but it's certainly not comfortable.
I'd love some advice. I've still got the script, so I could get it filled again if I wanted and do my own taper.

Edit: Took half my normal dose and feel much, much better now. Definitely think I'm going to get my script filled again and do a taper.
I hate the fact that I can't trust my doctor and have to make my own decisions about this stuff.

 

[jufonuk]

Managed to Raise £560 for Mind, I could never believe I could do something like this but I managed to push myself, right now I am feeling like I can do anything I put my mind too I hope this confidence lasts, if not dammit I will just have to run another 13 miles to get it back lol

 

[Zeyphersan]

Message me and talk to me. Don't do anything silly.

I wrote him a message, but he didn't answer yet. I really hope that he is still with us

Hey guys, still here. Thanks for the concern, I should be okay for now. Got a lot of things to work on

 

[Hermii]

Hey guys, still here. Thanks for the concern, I should be okay for now. Got a lot of things to work on

Good to hear. Thought that was it for a minute.

 

[Bassets]

I think I was depressed intermittently since 8th grade, but things started getting worse around second semester of my senior year.

Now that I recently started going to college I started drifting lower. So, I went to a campus counselor and they referred me to a doctor so I can get some medication. Feel like I might start getting better at this point. Its been a long time since I have felt anything good. Hoping the medication will work out.

 

[DiddysKongQuest]

Hey guys, still here. Thanks for the concern, I should be okay for now. Got a lot of things to work on

DKQ, you need to tell your friends to knock it off because not only is what they're doing not helping you but it's not okay, period. Harassment is never acceptable. That would make me reconsider whether I really wanted to be friends with someone.

As for her stuff, is there any way you can give it to someone you both know and have her work it out with that person? That way you can go back to no contact as quickly as possible.

I asked me brother yesterday and he denied that he did it. I believe him and I can't see anyone from my very close friends to have this much anger torwards her. It is a big mystery who did it.

No, the mutual friends that we have currently don't want to do anything with her (that picture on instagram turned them all against her), so I have to do it myself tomorrow. We chatted a little bit over the weekend and when I was drunk I asked for a real date and not the shit we did 2 weeks ago. She agreed to it and wants to give me a real chance. So tomorrow I not only bring her stuff back, but I also cook for her and we go to the cinema. It is probably a mistake and it could very well fuck me up again, but that little bit of hope is somehow enough for me. I am a gullible idiot when it comes to her.

But in other news, I had my first day at school today and was grinning the whole day. It feels so good to do something worthwile again after the whole year of unemployment. Got really lucky that they accepted me 3 days before the start of the schoolyear (and probably long after the deadline). Obviously can't say much about my classmates yet, but they seem nice so far.

 

[Ally of Justice]

I have to make a hello world app for homework, and I'm struggling right now. I'm watching a tutorial and I got bored of it. I mean its interesting to learn something, but this isn't for me. Maybe CS isn't the major for me, on the other hand it's too late to switch majors. Sucks that I'm not interested in programming, I wish though.

Sometimes what we need is a different way to learn. Some people can learn better by reading instead of watching a tutorial, others like to just read the basics and then try to do it using logic and others find easier to get a completed example and mess around the code to learn what does everything do.

Everybody has a different way to approach learning and, most of the time, when a person thinks something's not for them, it's because they haven't found the way that makes learning interesting for them.

I'm a programmer and I absolutely hate watching video tutorials when learning new stuff, but I like to read the basics and then experiment my way to it.

 

[Megalosaro]

Is it normal to find social interactions exhausting?

After a conversation, especially with someone I don't know well, I am beat mentally. I am not awkward or anythung. I am told I am an excellent conversationalist. But I find that energy hard to maintain. Because of that I do try to avoid social situations, but of course that is unavoidable.

 

[Zoned]

Is it normal to find social interactions exhausting?

After a conversation, especially with someone I don't know well, I am beat mentally. I am not awkward or anythung. I am told I am an excellent conversationalist. But I find that energy hard to maintain. Because of that I do try to avoid social situations, but of course that is unavoidable.

I am in the same boat. Lately, I have been trying to avoid too much talking to keep my productivity up. I feel like I lose my potential sometimes if I keep talking. I will have to go to a counselor (first time in my life) to see what to do.

 

[Aizo]

Is stopping Lexapro/Escitalopram 20mg cold turkey a bad idea? Will there be significant withdrawals?

I have someone very close to me who quit by tapering off. They kept just cutting the dosage in half until they were taking half a pill. I don't know what you felt like before Lexapro, but it will likely be hard. For them, they had very intense anxiety and I have never seen them so upset. Still, I was there for them and that ultimately helped. If you have a significant other that you really trust, tell them that you will likely need there help. I hope you feel well.

 

[Piano]

Yes, it has. For the longest time, I had been resistant and didn't want to accept it, but I think having an official diagnosis and someone to talk to about everything has really helped

Also made me aware of ton of resources. Like we started looking into social groups, and then I find out that my campus has a dedicated autism/asperger's program and has weekly social meetings, etc. I kind of regret not looking into that stuff earlier. College would have been a much better experience for me

The thing I'm working and trying to wrap my head around is disclosure. The only people who know are my parents and brother. My mom thinks I should tell my advisor and professor because this is the third time I'm taking a class (same professor too), and think about telling my grandparents. I know my grandma asked my mom once if I had aspergers.

But idk, I still feel weird about telling other people. Like they'll judge me differently, even though I know my grandparents are insanely supportive

It's wonderful that you've found some resources, and I hope they will be of help to you! I don't think there's really one formula for disclosure, as it depends on so many factors of the people, the situation, your relationships, et cetera. I would imagine that if you go to some of these on campus groups, though, there will be many people there who have worked through many similar issues with disclosure and perhaps you could get some great insight!

In the mean time, maybe just disclose one person at a time. Figure out who makes the most sense, and then if you decide to let them into the loop, figure out who comes after that. You may also find that different people necessitate different levels of disclosure.

Thanks for the reply, Piano.
But yeah, in regards to the doctor, for one example, he said that Buspar works immediately upon taking it (I'm assuming he was getting it mixed up with benzos or something) and it had absolutely no initial side effects. And that's just one of the many things he's said regarding psych meds, just getting super basic, factual stuff wrong, where I've been kind of scratching my head. He prescribes me stuff though, and in the end, the prescriptions seem reasonable, which I'm thankful for.
But yeah, I'd much prefer a psychiatrist and therapist. In your experience (or anyone else's), are psychiatrists more expensive than primary care doctor's? My insurance is really terrible, so that's kind of a big issue.
I still need to look into a therapist... I've been kind of putting it off. Don't really know why. Because of the cost, maybe. Even though I know it'd be well worth it if it was a good therapist... Not sure.

And yeah, I definitely agree regarding the job thing. Thanks for the advice.
I do think I might send out some applications out of state though still, because I've been wanting to move out of state (or just out of Southern California really; I want to live somewhere with seasons and somewhere greener) for years, but I keep getting held up because of just one little thing, and that thing at the moment is that I want to stay at my current job for at least a year so I can put it on my resume. But if I find another job out of state, then the resume point means a lot less since I'll have already found a job...
I feel like that is an all right plan of attack, since it can't hurt to throw some applications out there.
I certainly won't just quit my current job because of a particularly bad week of depression and anxiety though.
Thank you for the advice of taking a step back and making sure that's what I want when I'm in a clear mental state though. That's always solid advice.

With that said, all of today I've just had horrible anxiety in the back of my mind regarding that job, even though I didn't even work at that job today. I'm pretty sure that's more a symptom of my anxiety rather than the job though (though the job certainly isn't doing the anxiety any favors). Hopefully this will pass soon...

A psych can be more expensive than a doctor, yes, but it depends on a zillion factors, including insurance. The cheapest option will be to find a psychiatrist who's in network with your insurance provider, so that you're just paying the standard co-pay. Of course, what the co-pay is varies from insurer to insurer. There's no one way to figure it all out, you've just got to put your feelers out there and see what you find. It's worth seeing if you can get a list of covered providers from your insurer; often they have one on their website.

Therapist is much the same situation. I encourage you to look into it, if you feel ready and able.

In the mean time, it sounds like there isn't really anything to lose in throwing a few applications out there and seeing how things transpire. Certainly the more you learn the clearer your next step will become.

I have to make a hello world app for homework, and I'm struggling right now. I'm watching a tutorial and I got bored of it. I mean its interesting to learn something, but this isn't for me. Maybe CS isn't the major for me, on the other hand it's too late to switch majors. Sucks that I'm not interested in programming, I wish though.

Hey MisterLuffy! It's worth keeping in mind that everyone finds work boring from time to time, even if it's something they're normally passionate about. I also notice that you're once again taking a present moment experience and extrapolating it out to potential future issues - you are bored with this assignment THEREFORE this job isn't for you and it's all a huge failure.

As others have said, maybe the style of instruction just isn't for you. Certainly nobody gets through any degree program loving every assignment they're given.

I know how you feel, because I'm the same way. Sleeping is my favourite part of every day, and I hate waking up. Waking up comes with the realization that I'm nowhere in life, and that my mental illness is so bad that I can't live a normal life like everyone else, including people who unknowingly and ignorantly snub their noses at me. Family members included.

I've been off meds for a few months, and I'm definitely noticing things worsening, but I need to wait for my disability to hopefully be approved. I still haven't heard back from the doctor, who I called over a week ago. Hopefully my papers are in the mail.

I need to call again.

But, yeah, waking up and realizing that it's just going to be another slog is awful. The anxiety (or just my general IBS) also makes it so that I usually wake up with pains in my stomach, which is always fun.

I agree, Chewie, it's probably best to call again. I hope you're able to clear up the administrative chaos soon.

Is stopping Lexapro/Escitalopram 20mg cold turkey a bad idea? Will there be significant withdrawals?
Just wondering, because that's what my doctor told me to do. And I even confirmed "So you just want me to quit taking escitalopram altogether now, right?" "Yep!"
A bit concerned about that, since I'd always assumed you tapered down, but maybe I haven't been on it long enough (5 months) to need a taper? Or maybe my doctor is just clueless.
Main reason I'm actually concerned now is because my head has started to do this strange thing seemingly out of nowhere where I'll go super lightheaded and faint for just a second, like a heartbeat almost. It's not ruining my life, but it's certainly not comfortable.
I'd love some advice. I've still got the script, so I could get it filled again if I wanted and do my own taper.

Edit: Took half my normal dose and feel much, much better now. Definitely think I'm going to get my script filled again and do a taper.
I hate the fact that I can't trust my doctor and have to make my own decisions about this stuff.

Well, you can just cold turkey it in the sense that it is probably not physically dangerous to do so, but it's a recipe for some reaaaally unpleasant withdrawals. Again, nothing unlivable, but probably a resurgence of symptoms, some fogginess, maybe drowsiness, brain-zaps, just an overall bad feeling for a few days to a week. Tapering sounds like a safe bet, though I'd presume your doctor was trying to make sure you didn't overlap the two medications too much, so watch out for that.

Managed to Raise £560 for Mind, I could never believe I could do something like this but I managed to push myself, right now I am feeling like I can do anything I put my mind too I hope this confidence lasts, if not dammit I will just have to run another 13 miles to get it back lol

Holy shit, I'm so impressed! That's AWESOME jufonuk. I hope the feeling lasts for at least a bit

Hey guys, still here. Thanks for the concern, I should be okay for now. Got a lot of things to work on

Glad to haer it, Zeyphersan. Let us know if there's anything we can do to help.

I think I was depressed intermittently since 8th grade, but things started getting worse around second semester of my senior year.

Now that I recently started going to college I started drifting lower. So, I went to a campus counselor and they referred me to a doctor so I can get some medication. Feel like I might start getting better at this point. Its been a long time since I have felt anything good. Hoping the medication will work out.

You've taken a good first step in seeking out treatment, Bassets. If you've got any questions about mental health treatment a lot of us here are more than qualified to answer from experience.

I asked me brother yesterday and he denied that he did it. I believe him and I can't see anyone from my very close friends to have this much anger torwards her. It is a big mystery who did it.

No, the mutual friends that we have currently don't want to do anything with her (that picture on instagram turned them all against her), so I have to do it myself tomorrow. We chatted a little bit over the weekend and when I was drunk I asked for a real date and not the shit we did 2 weeks ago. She agreed to it and wants to give me a real chance. So tomorrow I not only bring her stuff back, but I also cook for her and we go to the cinema. It is probably a mistake and it could very well fuck me up again, but that little bit of hope is somehow enough for me. I am a gullible idiot when it comes to her.

But in other news, I had my first day at school today and was grinning the whole day. It feels so good to do something worthwile again after the whole year of unemployment. Got really lucky that they accepted me 3 days before the start of the schoolyear (and probably long after the deadline). Obviously can't say much about my classmates yet, but they seem nice so far.

I hope seeing her again doesn't totally derail you, DKQ, but if it does, know that you can get back on track just as you have time and time again. I'm glad school has given you a sense of purpose and direction.

Is it normal to find social interactions exhausting?

After a conversation, especially with someone I don't know well, I am beat mentally. I am not awkward or anythung. I am told I am an excellent conversationalist. But I find that energy hard to maintain. Because of that I do try to avoid social situations, but of course that is unavoidable.

Personally, I find social interactions exhausting if it's with people that don't "get" me because I don't ever feel like I can totally relax. Conversely, I find them slightly rejuvenating if they're with people whom I don't feel I have to put up a facade around.

<3

 

[bigmit3737]

Is stopping Lexapro/Escitalopram 20mg cold turkey a bad idea? Will there be significant withdrawals?
Just wondering, because that's what my doctor told me to do. And I even confirmed "So you just want me to quit taking escitalopram altogether now, right?" "Yep!"
A bit concerned about that, since I'd always assumed you tapered down, but maybe I haven't been on it long enough (5 months) to need a taper? Or maybe my doctor is just clueless.
Main reason I'm actually concerned now is because my head has started to do this strange thing seemingly out of nowhere where I'll go super lightheaded and faint for just a second, like a heartbeat almost. It's not ruining my life, but it's certainly not comfortable.
I'd love some advice. I've still got the script, so I could get it filled again if I wanted and do my own taper.

Edit: Took half my normal dose and feel much, much better now. Definitely think I'm going to get my script filled again and do a taper.
I hate the fact that I can't trust my doctor and have to make my own decisions about this stuff.

Taper off. Listen to your body.

5 month is a long enough time.


It's hard to find a good knowledgeable psychiatrist in my experience.

 

[Kipp]

Well, you can just cold turkey it in the sense that it is probably not physically dangerous to do so, but it's a recipe for some reaaaally unpleasant withdrawals. Again, nothing unlivable, but probably a resurgence of symptoms, some fogginess, maybe drowsiness, brain-zaps, just an overall bad feeling for a few days to a week. Tapering sounds like a safe bet, though I'd presume your doctor was trying to make sure you didn't overlap the two medications too much, so watch out for that.

A few days to a week isn't horrible, I guess. I think I'm going to at least do a week or two of 10mg first though to soften the impact a bit.

And good to know that overlapping the medications is a concern. I'll be sure not to start Zoloft until I've quit taking Lexapro altogether.

Thank you as always, Piano.

Taper off. Listen to your body.

5 month is a long enough time.


It's hard to find a good knowledgeable psychiatrist in my experience.

Thanks for the input, bigmit. I appreciate it.

 

[Bright Side of Life]

Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
Decreased need for sleep:more like restlessness which leads to taking a sleeping pill and it sorta only sometimes working but generally like 2-6 hr of sleep
More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking: usually introverted unless talking with friends/family. Kinda been telling people to stop interrupting me until I finish my thought. I usu just let people say what they say and then finish my thought afterwards
Flight of ideas or subjective racing of thoughts: When I don't end up sleeping, I just lay there alone with my thoughts that kinda go all over the places. They eventually complete but it's kinda like I get an idea for a story but before I finish the thought, I think about how to improve one of my recipes which leads something else and then I end up with five seperate thoughts that need to be finished)
Distractibility: Gaf, manga, youtube, unnecessary wikipeding random info...I think this happens regardless of whether or not I'd have an episode :/
Increase in goal-directed activity
Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences.

<sigh> Looks like I gotta call my therapist and bump up my appointment. Hoping I can get a prescription for Abilify instead of the generic I use.

 

[Bright Side of Life]

Fuck... This is so frustrating. The weather is turning colder which is my favorite time of the year, but I can't even enjoy it in the slightest. Complete and total anhedonia is back...
The worst is waking up with absolutely nothing to look forward to, just waking up simply to go through the motions and get through the day.

This is the worst I've been since before I started on meds, I think... Hopefully the Zoloft I'll be starting sometime this week works better than the Lexapro I guess.

Can't stand being on the edge of tears constantly. There's just nothing in life right now.

Ugh I know that feeling, mine's a bit more touch and go so I never really was diagnosed with it though it probably fell under the depression part of my bipolar.

Sometimes I would start drawing for a little bit and just stop because I find there's no point (I want to publish my series one day), don't find it enjoyable/relaxing, "trying is the first step towards failure",etc

I find it helps me to use minimal encouragers. Like if fall food is your favorite part, think soon you can gorge on roasted chestnuts and pumpkin. Raking up leaves, think about how cool it'll be to jump into a pile...or be a prankster and cover a friends entire car in mountain of leaves (done this, I think it all the leaves in the neighborhood). Got access to a ice shaver? Make some snowballs (to release onto friends and family)

Feel good again and enjoy that cold

 

[Saiyan-Rox]

Why do you feel that a therapist won't help? You mention that you're your own worst enemy and are struggling to be conscious of the things you do to perpetuate your suffering - a big goal of therapy is to make those unconscious behaviors and patterns conscious and then slowly work to unwind them and replace them with better habits.

As for finding a therapist, if you have insurance you should be able to contact your insurance agency and get a list of covered providers in your area. Sometimes they even have this info on their website as a searchable database, which is nice. Alternatively you can ask someone, such as a GP, for a referral.

I encourage you to look into it!

Think it's because of what the last one said that it's all just grabbed me and like burned into me so that there's no point in seeing one.

I've been to him before about depression,anxiety and stuff and he gave me meds for it but those never did work. the last time I saw him he upped the dose said if these didn't work we'll have to try other means such as counselling and I just never went back to him and stopped taking the meds myself as they didn't sem to do anything.

Tbh I have it in my head all I need is a girl in my life which I know isn't true but I just can't stop it from making me feel like a worthless POS for never having anyone.

 

[Izuna]

Yeah, this actually was a topic today... about the number of threads I've posted about thoughts etc. and the depression.

I want to be clear that, the reason why I posted on GAF wasn't a great idea. I mean, introducing people to a concern, at the time I wasn't thinking of it that way.

But yes, as modbot says, there shouldn't be a possibility of writing threads when shit hits the fan.

Not to assume I'll never be depressed again, but it's clear what was going on... And I have made the choice to bite that bullet. I can't help this one particular person. I've tried enough and keep trying as my health deteriorated because of it.

This is now a fault of that particular person but my stubbornness to try and be helping in a way no one can be.

But still, that I am here today... I owe it to the people who did care to urge me to be helped then. And I cannot thank you guys enough.

 

[Vigilant Walrus]

Yeah, this actually was a topic today... about the number of threads I've posted about thoughts etc. and the depression.

I want to be clear that, the reason why I posted on GAF wasn't a great idea. I mean, introducing people to a concern, at the time I wasn't thinking of it that way.

But yes, as modbot says, there shouldn't be a possibility of writing threads when shit hits the fan.

Not to assume I'll never be depressed again, but it's clear what was going on... And I have made the choice to bite that bullet. I can't help this one particular person. I've tried enough and keep trying as my health deteriorated because of it.

This is now a fault of that particular person but my stubbornness to try and be helping in a way no one can be.

But still, that I am here today... I owe it to the people who did care to urge me to be helped then. And I cannot thank you guys enough.

I think what ModBot is saying is that it is limited what GAF and us posters can do. We're not professional, and we must not be a band-aid. After all we can't be liable or accountable. Our advice and perspective has to be taken with a grain of salt.

Sometimes people can become addicted to airing their troubles, but in my experience it is possible to "over talk". It reaches a point were stating your intentions actually becomes a catalyst for not doing anything. There is a great little 3 minute TED talk on it called; "keep your goals to yourself" ; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHopJHSlVo4

It talks about that when we ask others for encouragement about our goals, we release endorphins and we get a reward chemical. It's a nice feeling and gives a air of optimism to tell others. And then you feel you really need to do what you're saying because you told everyone, and then there is no going back. Sivers is saying that this approach can backfire. That has been my experience.

It has to be balanced with the fact that it is also really healthy to air your frustrations. So it's a skill, I think.

Just take care of yourself Izu!

 

[Symphonia]

But still, that I am here today... I owe it to the people who did care to urge me to be helped then. And I cannot thank you guys enough.

There's people here who care for/about you. If there wasn't, do you think DetectiveGAF would've bothered to find out your details? If you need someone to vent to, hit me up. I, and many others, don't want to see a repeat of last night. Hell, if needs be, I'll drive down London if it keeps your mind pre-occupied.

 

[Izuna]

I think what ModBot is saying is that it is limited what GAF and us posters can do. We're not professional, and we must not be a band-aid. After all we can't be liable or accountable. Our advice and perspective has to be taken with a grain of salt.

Sometimes people can become addicted to airing their troubles, but in my experience it is possible to "over talk". It reaches a point were stating your intentions actually becomes a catalyst for not doing anything. There is a great little 3 minute TED talk on it called; "keep your goals to yourself" ; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHopJHSlVo4

It talks about that when we ask others for encouragement about our goals, we release endorphins and we get a reward chemical. It's a nice feeling and gives a air of optimism to tell others. And then you feel you really need to do what you're saying because you told everyone, and then there is no going back. Sivers is saying that this approach can backfire. That has been my experience.

It has to be balanced with the fact that it is also really healthy to air your frustrations. So it's a skill, I think.

Just take care of yourself Izu!

I missed the word "whenever" there, but yeah.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnywaaaaaay -- about the Ted Talk, I'm aware of that, but it's not really relevant to what I did. GAF's just been where I opened up more than other places. Like, I haven't written anyone like that on fb etc. But yeah, that won't really be an issue.

 

[Spladam]

fuck. I've started getting split second hallucinations and I'm having a terrible time distinguishing dreams from memories. I think I'm unraveling. My meds are keeping my depression/anhedonia at bay. But I know not what this new fuckery is.

What do they have you on Kauasu? I'm on the mood stabilizers now (lithium), it's important to talk with your doctor or mental health professional and take care to find what works for you and stop taking what might be harmful. I don't know what your condition is, but it sounds like you might want to consider a change. I'm not a professional, just suggesting a possible course of action. Posting can help keep you grounded though.

 

[zsswimmer]

Welp, almost made a permanent choice towards non existance but I made it out okay. Its a fucking miracle too, the concoction of shit I took was ridiculous, 100% should be dead right now. Can go into details if someone wants to PM me as I really thought that it was a wrap for me.

Nothing wrong with me at all physically or mentally, the whole thing is crazy. So glad I made it through that nightmare, feels like a massive 500lb weight on my back is suddenly gone. Fuck depression man.

 

[haikira]

.

 

[MisterLuffy]

Sometimes what we need is a different way to learn. Some people can learn better by reading instead of watching a tutorial, others like to just read the basics and then try to do it using logic and others find easier to get a completed example and mess around the code to learn what does everything do.

Everybody has a different way to approach learning and, most of the time, when a person thinks something's not for them, it's because they haven't found the way that makes learning interesting for them.

I'm a programmer and I absolutely hate watching video tutorials when learning new stuff, but I like to read the basics and then experiment my way to it.

Hey MisterLuffy! It's worth keeping in mind that everyone finds work boring from time to time, even if it's something they're normally passionate about. I also notice that you're once again taking a present moment experience and extrapolating it out to potential future issues - you are bored with this assignment THEREFORE this job isn't for you and it's all a huge failure.

As others have said, maybe the style of instruction just isn't for you. Certainly nobody gets through any degree program loving every assignment they're given.

It makes me feel that I wouldn't be able to reach the degree because I have no passion for programming. I'm at or getting close to the upper division, and I don't think I can manage without having an ounce of passion. I'm concerned with a class I'm taking this semester, my instructor put me in a group like a marriage sort to speak in order to work together to make an app. I'm not sure if I'm going to be of any use to them since I don't have passion for programming. I know my instructor said its fun, but will see if its true.

 

[karasu]

What do they have you on Kauasu? I'm on the mood stabilizers now (lithium), it's important to talk with your doctor or mental health professional and take care to find what works for you and stop taking what might be harmful. I don't know what your condition is, but it sounds like you might want to consider a change. I'm not a professional, just suggesting a possible course of action. Posting can help keep you grounded though.

I'm on a cocktail of Effexor, Wellbutrin, and Saphris. I haven't had any hallucinations since that last post. So here's hoping.