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Most rididulous Star Wars Expanded Universe content

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Fj0823

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Inspired by our current discussion in the OT.

My vote based on my limited knowledge of the Expanded Universe would be Skippy the Jedi Droid.

glv6H.png


One day, R5 removed his restraining bolt with the Force, and Force persuaded the Gamorrean guards to let him leave. Skippy wandered the desert for days in search of his destiny, until finally he was picked up by a Jawa sandcrawler. There he had visions of Darth Vader and Princess Leia, and met R2-D2 and C-3PO. Eventually the Sandcrawler stopped, took all the droids out, and lined them up side by side in front of Owen Lars and Luke Skywalker
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R5 soon envisioned that, without Luke, stormtroopers would come and take R2 back to Vader, where he would be destroyed and Leia would be killed, leading to a chain reaction of horror that will include the Rebellion being destroyed, R2's memory being wiped after 3PO refuses to translate his 'rubbish', and Luke dying on Tatooine without ever fulfilling his destiny. R5 knew what he had to do, and suddenly set off a mild explosion inside himself, leading Luke to believe that he had a busted motivator. Skippy then used the Force on 3PO, telling Luke to buy R2 instead. Owen did so, never knowing the great deed that R5 had just done.
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Edit: Typo, its supposed to read "Ridiculous", can someone fix it?
 
That crazy IG-88 bullshit where he actually took control of the Death Star II so he could rule the galaxy. Of course, it was destroyed just seconds later.
 
i'm pretty sure skippy was meant as a parody of all the stupid things going on in the EU at the time.


there's a comic where darth vader plays chess with a giant space squid but I don't remember the name.
 
Glowsquid said:
i'm pretty sure skippy was meant as a parody of all the stupid things going on in the EU at the time.


there's a comic where darth vader plays chess with a giant space squid but I don't remember the name.
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But it's still ridiculous :P

That's the point, just have some fun.

But yes,Skippy at least was kind of a self aware joke. Emperor Clones or Force Wormholes were not
 
In the story "Therefore I Am: The Tale of IG-88" by Kevin J Anderson, a background character who appears for a couple seconds in The Empire Strikes Back downloads his brain into the second Death Star and takes control of it. He plans to conquer the galaxy, but is unable to accomplish anything besides playing a practical joke on Emperor Palpatine with a door before the Rebels destroy the Death Star 2.

In the Jedi Academy trilogy, also by "esteemed" author Kevin J Anderson, the Empire secretly constructs the Suncrusher, a completely indestructible spaceship the size of a X-Wing. How indestructible? It gets hit several times by the Death Star's laser and is completely unharmed. Oh, and this tiny indestructible ship fires torpedoes that cause supernovas, because apparently the writer thought the only way to outdo a planet-busting superweapon was to write a star-busting superweapon that is invincible.

You might notice a pattern to stupid shit in science fiction: A lot of it is written by Kevin J Anderson.
 
Not the most ridiculous, but definitely one of my favorite: The one stormtrooper from A New Hope that exclaims "Look sir, Droids!" has an entire backstory where he was once an AT-AT pilot who had pointed out to the Empire the critical flaw in the vehicles design (namely that enemies could tangle its legs to render it immobile), and as a result was demoted to patrolling Tatooine where we meet him in the film.

EDIT: Fucking beaten lol
 
To be fair, the comics weren't even really considered canon compared to the books (which weren't really considered canon compared to the films).
 
Anth0ny said:
remember the stormtrooper that says "look sir, droids"
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I forgot about this gem.

There's also the ice cream machine guy.

"I know that a lot of fans have an affection for Willrow Hood because of his cult status as the Ice Cream Maker Guy. Even before I knew of the legend of ICMG I was somewhat fascinated by the chap. Lando tells everyone to leg it and the one item he takes with him is a big white thing. So he was an interesting character and when the opportunity to write about him for What's the Story? came up it was quite exciting."
 
my favourite part of the star wars universe is that starwars.com used to have contests where the winners could give a name and create a backstory to random background characters in the movies

and they were canon
 
The Tag and Bink comics were always a bit out there. They were apparently on the Tantive IV as it got attacked, beat down Imperial soldiers and stole their armor, got to walk around the Death Star for a while, then were conscripted to be Vader's wingmen during the Rebel attack on the first Death Star.

Boba Fett showing up to help Han Solo's kids kill another clone Emperor at the end of the second Young Jedi Academy series was always fucking bizarre to me.
 
Manuel "Manny" Both-Hanz was an agent of the Rebel Alliance, a very short Human or near-Human. He appears to have been involved in a romantic relationship with Mon Mothma, the Alliance Chief of State.

"Manny Both-Hanz died to bring us this information."
―Mon Mothma
 
Crimson_Gold said:
How did that happen
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Extragalactic aliens playing games with gravity, more or less.

Or, this wild description:
The Praetorite Vong then used their yammosk to coordinate an attack on Sernpidal, using the ancient Yo'gand's Core tactic to crash the planet's moon Dobido into the surface. At the same time, Han Solo, along with his son Anakin and the Wookiee Chewbacca, had been on a delivery run for Lando Calrissian to the planet. Seeing the devastation being wrought by the moon, Anakin accompanied Sernpidal City's mayor to find the source of the problem.[2] They discovered that the Praetorite Vong had planted a gravity-manipulating dovin basal east of Sernpidal City to draw its smallest moon toward the planet. The mayor sacrificed himself to kill the creature but this was too late to stop the moon from plummeting from the sky.[2] Han, Chewbacca and Anakin managed to save many civilians, but while rescuing a small child, Anakin was knocked from the ship by some debris. Chewbacca rescued him and hauled him back into the ship before he was separated from the others. Anakin made the decision to fly away in order to save the others as the moon crashed down, killing Chewbacca.[2]
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How about the time when Han was frozen in carbonite she is woo'ed and falls for a weird green dude? Oh and his name is Xizor. Of course.

21-7_-_leia_8.png



Edit: beat!
 
Meet Palpatines son. Yes the a Emperor had a son. And he has a eye in his forehead.

His name is Triioculus. Get it l? Because he has 3 eyes!
Trioculus2.jpg


The best thing to come out of the Disney deal is the fact EU material was shut down and retconed out of existence.
 
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