NeoGAF Anonymous Confessions 2015 - Bare Your Burdens

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NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
My confession would be that, as someone who's 40, I never really had a serious relationship in my life. I am, however, kind of addicted to sex with sex workers thou and usually gets along with them rather well. I'm also not socially awkward or anything either just to make it clear.

First off, I think I've been seeking sex worker's companionship on and off for at least 7 or 8 years now and I had spent quite a bit on this hobby of mine. I think I've dumped over $30k to $40k or so on getting "providers" over the last 3 years alone, sometimes even visiting them twice a week. My work does allow me the financial means to continue my hobby without effecting my life so that's always a plus. The thing is, I feel more at ease with the providers instead of just going out hitting up girls or try to find a date. I guess part of it is because I know going in that they're only in it for the money and I can have some fun without thinking too much of it. And some of them do get to enjoy it from time to time.

Over the years, there had been a few of them I connected with so nicely that I would regularly go down on them and they all liked it. They are always the ones who're pretty sensitive when it comes to their body and actually gets really wet when you're willing to please them in return, instead of having them all the work. Hell, I've even go in bareback a few times with couple of the girls with them taking the initiative. No, they didn't ask for extra or anything and yes I did get myself check out for STD.

On the other hand thou, I just can't bring myself to go and find actual regular girl to date now a days since I feel I won't be able to remain faithful to her and it seems like so much trouble. Plus as I mentioned before, I feel I can deal with the providers better since I know this is just work for them and you have kind of a base line of what to expect. But with regular girls I can never be sure and it gives me a bit of anxiety when I even think about asking girls out for a date. That and the fact that I realized a long time ago that I'm kinda shallow in regards to girls, as I pick them solely by looks. And I'm pretty certain that I won't have a real chance with the kind of girls I'm attracted to in real live while I can just get down to business and get what I want with a provider. I do have to make it clear that I'm not trying to demean woman in general and that I respect them in real life situations and I always treat them politely. Even with the providers I always treat them nice and buy some small gifts for them.

Now I do get that looks isn't everything and I do yarn for some deeper connections from time to time, but over all I've been living pretty happy without it so far and I guess one day I might give up on the "hobby" and actually settle down and try to find someone. Until then thou, I'm happy with my meaningless sex and single life.

ps: In case some of you are wondering, I stick with providers who's either independent or just here to work with a booker and not some sex slave trade stuff. And I use review sites like TER and ad sites like cityvibe to find providers.
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You are the 21st century Richard Gere.

What if you end up falling in love with the hooker? What's the contingency?
 
K

Kingbrave

Member
Hell, I've even go in bareback a few times with couple of the girls with them taking the initiative. No, they didn't ask for extra or anything and yes I did get myself check out for STD.
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What the holy shit?

Eventually your luck is gonna run out and your dick is going to fall off.

Or you're gonna get a knock on the door and it's gonna be a kid with a note pinned to it's chest saying "Hi daddy!"

Or both!
 
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NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
I have a friend who has suffered from severe anxiety disorders for many years and they are medicated for it. They have made comments suggesting they are offended when other people say they have anxiety and it sounds much less severe. My problem is that while I'm certainly not at the level this friend is with there being frequent panic attacks and medication, I am pretty certain anxiety, perhaps as a disorder, describes my own experiences, too. It's not as severe as my friend's, so I don't say anything about it because their reaction seems possessive and closed-minded to there being less severe forms of anxiety disorders.

This is weighing on me for a few reasons. It's hard for this to be pretty much the only subject I'm afraid to mention. It's also hard feeling like I don't really have a name for what my experiences have been.

Last week I had to wear business attire for a meeting and the professor in charge said to wear suits. I took this very seriously, and when my father sent me the wrong suit, I tried to sort it out with alternative ideas for clothing I had with my father on the phone since there wasn't time to get another outfit. But as soon as I hung up, I locked up, started hyperventilating, got cold to the point of shivering, my heart was racing, and I started crying, especially as I tried to slow my breathing since I'd never felt that way before. It seems like it fits the description of a panic attack, but I'm afraid to call it that because I am worried it may seem too mild compared to the experience of this friend. The silly part was that, being a college class, many of them didn't follow the dress instructions and it seemed to not matter, so my alternative was one of the nicer outfits.

When anyone in my family has guests over, I ask not to meet them and hide in my room. I don't like meeting people or being at parties. My father thinks it is weird that I eat dinner before parties that serve dinner, but I get too nervous at parties to eat and especially get nervous having to eat in groups of it isn't a restaurant or something. I spend almost all of my time in my room alone since my friends don't live near me and I am not daring enough to meet people in school clubs or events. The last time I had cried before the suit issue was when I changed majors a couple years back and seemed to just be worried if I had made mistakes.

I don't know how to handle this. I'm pretty sure anxiety is exactly the word for how intensely upsetting and uncomfortable I get about things that wouldn't bother others as often, or even things that other people find exciting and fun. I guess I would just like a safe term to describe it.
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Yeah, pal, this does sound like an anxiety disorder. You need to talk to someone about it. There's no shame in talking to a therapist or psychiatrist about this. Your health is of the utmost importance.
 
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IDKAboutThat

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Yeah, pal, this does sound like an anxiety disorder. You need to talk to someone about it. There's no shame in talking to a therapist or psychiatrist about this. Your health is of the utmost importance.
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Yeah, if the concern is that your friend will go off the handle, that's very secondary to those symptoms.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Gray Matter said:
I'm not buying that teacher sex story. Why was the teacher there socializing with students where alcohol is present? I know people make mistakes, but teachers have a responsibility. Who even let him in anyway knowing he was a teacher, surely someone recognized him.

also a 17 year old sophomore? Seems a little old to be only a sophomore
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For many places kids have to have their birthday before a certain time of the year to be able to start Kindergarten. If they're born past that date, they have to wait another year. So yeah, a 17 year old sophomore isn't the most common thing, but it's not surprising.

I mean, I graduated literally on my 18th birthday, and in the state I was born (New York) at the time I was almost on the cutoff date myself, if I believe what my mother told me. I'm sure it varies from place to place, though.

NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Yeah, pal, this does sound like an anxiety disorder. You need to talk to someone about it. There's no shame in talking to a therapist or psychiatrist about this. Your health is of the utmost importance.
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Confessor, honestly, I went through a somewhat similar scenario to you. I had someone close to me that would act a lot like your friend--criticize people for having "lesser" mental disorders like being bipolar or ADD, when they "don't have as bad as the person in the wheelchair or the other person with such severe ADHD they cannot function in society". It was hard to open up to him on anything--and the few times I really did, I'd be told I'm overreacting, or, I shit you not, "you're just on your period/PMSing". As a result, my relatively minor depression spiraled out of control, I started to pick up some bipolar tendencies, and had a mindset of "oh I'm just being an overreacting bitch" to boot. It was really, really rough. It only stopped when the person was cut out of my life, and I felt I could get help without be criticized for it.

I'm not saying to cut your friend out of your life, but it doesn't matter if the ways you're "better off" than him, you still need help. And if then, if you get help and he's a jerk about it, then it might be time to find someone that's not such a negative influence on your life.
 
Go_Ly_Dow

Go_Ly_Dow

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Yeah, pal, this does sound like an anxiety disorder. You need to talk to someone about it. There's no shame in talking to a therapist or psychiatrist about this. Your health is of the utmost importance.
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Indeed.

It's far more common a issue than most people think. No shame in seeking a professional.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
hello. I have been stanning on gaf for a presidential candidate that as of october 2015 looks like is not making the general election. At first I only did it to humor myself, but as time went on I kept doing it out of some twisted sense of duty and I now find myself inside a hole too deep to back out. also I am a couple of inches shorter than the male average height and women taller than me give me inferiority boners.
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According to http://http://www.tallpeople.org, the #1 most beautiful tall woman of 2014 is Jessica Pardoe @ 6'10".

814433b77bb82f29daa234130d527fc7.jpg


Just remember, Confessor. I believe in you to conquer Mt Pardoe.

Also, there is no such thing as 'average male' because height can differ so much region to region! I'm 5'9.5, and I think that's average here in Canada, but in Norway, the average male is like 7'2" of Scandinavian magnificence.
 
L

LucidMomentum

Member
We're off to a good start, even on the first day.

@Sex Worker Man: Just don't be afraid to not get laid when you meet a girl, and look for "the one." Or pull a Pretty Woman.

@Anxiety Man: Fuck your friend. That kind of "LOOK AT ME I HAVE PROBLEMS NO ONE ELSE'S PROBLEMS MATTER" is a great way to make people hate you for having issues. Get help, because you're worth it and you deserve it.

@Tall'o'phobia Guy: Climb those mountains.
 
C

CassCade

Member
War Peaceman said:
I can't understand how someone can enjoy being with a sex worker? Surely it must be really awkward and mechanical??
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I suppose it all depends on the sex worker you're with, I am sure the sex workers are well versed in the art of breaking the awkwardness and discomfort, what good is a pleasure business if your customers are uncomfortable.
 
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SmackAttack

Member
Oh boy. Last year's thread was my first one I've read since being a member on here so I'm looking forward to this. Maybe I'll send one in this time, not sure. May mercy be on your side, NTGYK.
 
C

CesspoolofHatred

Member
I Can't Help But Think About Someone Other Than My Wife (One Paragraph) (Mobile Confessions)

I Slept With This Guy at a Party, Turns Out He Teaches at My High School (One Paragraph) (Mobile Confessions)

Procrastination Until the Last 40 Minutes (One Paragraph) (Mobile Confessions)

That's everything on page 4. Will edit with everything on this page.

EDIT: Everything else so far

The 21st Century Richard Gere (Handheld Confessions)

Do I Have Anxiety Disorder? I Think I Have Anxiety Disorder (Handheld Confessions)

Short Man with a Tall Fetish Stanning for a Presidential Flop (One Paragraph Confessions)

Friendly Groper with a Bizarre Story (Confession Franchises)

TRIGGER WARNING: A Darkness (TRIGGER WARNING)

Friendly Groper II (Confession Franchises)
 
Robot Carnival

Robot Carnival

Gold Member
Replicant said:
It must have been love but it's over now.
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lol I have the movie playing in my head right now as I read upon this post. bravo good sir!

CesspoolofHatred said:
I Can't Help But Think About Someone Other Than My Wife

I Slept With This Guy at a Party, Turns Out He Teaches at My High School

Procrastination Until the Last 40 Minutes

That's everything on page 4. Will edit with everything on this page.
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thank you Cesspool, you are truly the record keeper of the dark tales.


btw, is ronito still around? I feel sorry for that cat, he sacrificed his soul for our entertainment :-(
 
T

TheOGB

Banned
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Yeah, pal, this does sound like an anxiety disorder. You need to talk to someone about it. There's no shame in talking to a therapist or psychiatrist about this. Your health is of the utmost importance.
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I def understand this one. You and your friend are two different people with different experiences and different perspectives, confessor. Your anxiety does not have to match, exceed, or resemble their anxiety in order to be legitimate. Because you are clearly dealing with anxiety (but, I'm no doctor).
 
J

JoeNut

Member
Anxiety guy, go to a doctor, you're not alone and they'll help you. Don't get stuck in a cycle of trying to be comfortable by being alone.
 
S

ShinRPGamer

Member
Robot Carnival said:
btw, is ronito still around? I feel sorry for that cat, he sacrificed his soul for our entertainment :-(
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Ronito just returned from a 3(?) month ban a while back.

It's been a pretty slow start to GAF Confessions this year. I remember confessions coming out a lot quicker last year.
 
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NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
ShinRPGamer said:
Ronito just returned from a 3(?) month ban a while back.

It's been a pretty slow start to GAF Confessions this year. I remember confessions coming out a lot quicker last year.
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Gray Matter said:
Yup. We need more.
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I have plenty more, but we have thirty days to go through. Last year, there were a few points where I went dry and had to wait for more to come in. But I'm definitely gonna throw a couple more up today.
 
H

Hjod

Banned
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
I have plenty more, but we have thirty days to go through. Last year, there were a few points where I went dry and had to wait for more to come in. But I'm definitely gonna throw a couple more up today.
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Don't break us already, spread the madness even, we are not like you, our souls can't handle it.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
i broke up my friend and his gf. me and her sort of made out and groped a little, another guy saw us and implied his girlfriend was a cheater, That is the gist of it. the guy does not talk to me anymore.
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Implied? It seemed pretty explicit that she was a cheater.

But wait, the third guy told the friend that his girlfriend was a cheater, but through implication rather than outright stating "Yo brah, I saw your girl groping Confessor the other day. Figured you should know."

And which guy no longer talks to you? The third party or the friend? If it's the third party, what'd you do to him? And why would your friend keep talking to you?

So many questions racing at me at the speed of love.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
I feel I should ask:

How do you guys want potential Trigger Warnings handled? Just a bold Trigger Warning at the top (maybe in red) or wrapped in spoiler text?
 
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