NeoGAF Anonymous Confessions 2015 - Bare Your Burdens

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NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
This is pretty tame as far as they go, but here we go.

Back in grade 12 math class, I swiped a graphing calculator that belonged to the school. It was just sitting on a ledge by desk, obviously from a previous class. Normally the teacher would collect them all at the end of class; clearly she missed one.

Not really sure why I took it, just did. I'd return it, but given that it was over 10 years ago, the calculator is long gone. Though considering I failed the class miserably, I'd like to think that was my karmic punishment.
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Texas Instruments got their divine retribution, you miserable pile of calculator secrets.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
My 10th wedding anniversary is coming up in a few years. For months now, I have been socking away money in my dresser drawer and spreading the difference in my bank account across various expenditures in our budget. I'm going to surprise her with a family trip to Disneyland, but I'm fucking terrible at keeping secrets and don't know if I'm going to make it without her somehow finding out.
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You are just adorable. Just so sweet.

She already knows.
 
K

Keri

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
You are just adorable. Just so sweet.

She already knows.
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If she doesn't already know, this is going to be bittersweet when she finally finds out. On one hand it will be: "YAY, a surprise trip to Disneyland, how thoughtful!" And on the other hand it will be: "YAY, you can...hide a large sum of money from me...over a period of years..."
 
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NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Keri said:
If she doesn't already know, this is going to be bittersweet when she finally finds out. On one hand it will be: "YAY, a surprise trip to Disneyland, how thoughtful!" And on the other hand it will be: "YAY, you can...hide a large sum of money from me...over a period of years..."
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Or what if she thinks he's hiding something bad, like an affair or secret love child or something.
 
L

LucidMomentum

Member
Keri said:
If she doesn't already know, this is going to be bittersweet when she finally finds out. On one hand it will be: "YAY, a surprise trip to Disneyland, how thoughtful!" And on the other hand it will be: "YAY, you can...hide a large sum of money from me...over a period of years..."
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Yeah, it depends on how well he knows her and how well they trust each other.

I'm also horrible with surprises, so I understand where the confessor is coming from.

On the other hand, he's cooking the books...
 
A

Az

Member
Keri said:
If she doesn't already know, this is going to be bittersweet when she finally finds out. On one hand it will be: "YAY, a surprise trip to Disneyland, how thoughtful!" And on the other hand it will be: "YAY, you can...hide a large sum of money from me...over a period of years..."
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They got bigger problems if that is her second thought when she gets suprised.
 
C

CesspoolofHatred

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Or what if she thinks he's hiding something bad, like an affair or secret love child or something.
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Or he thinks girls can't be trusted with money.

EDIT: Also, more confessions.

Accounting for Stolen Assets (Mobile Confessions)

I'm Hiding Money in my Dresser to Surprise my Wife with Disneyland (Mobile Confessions)

I'm Thinking About My Sexuality and I Have Supportive Parents (Mobile Confessions)

I'm a Sister Booty Guy (Confessions Franchises)

Felt Guilty About RAM Refund Theft for 17-18 Years (Mobile Confessions)

A-Cup to C-Cup (Mobile Confessions)

TRIGGER WARNING 2 (TRIGGER WARNING)
 
P

Patryn

Member
jasonng said:
Is it too early in the thread to start doing confessions publicly? I'm too lazy to make a throwaway email.
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So just send an e-mail using your normal e-mail address?

I mean, there's nothing against public confessions, but you don't need to go all cloak and dagger if you don't want.
 
Q

Qasiel

Member
jasonng said:
Is it too early in the thread to start doing confessions publicly? I'm too lazy to make a throwaway email.
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People have done public confessions quite often, so I wouldn't worry about it being "Too early". Not sure how Cesspool is keeping up making the links (if they're just going via NTGYK's posts, or is reading through all of the posts in the thread).
 
S

Sagely

Member
I'm still catching up on the old confession threads, but have finished the big one from 2012. What a ride; I don't think I've felt so many conflicting emotions from one thread (Doozy...sister boob licker...those cousin stories...). Hoping this year's delivers equal amounts of madness and sadness!
 
C

CesspoolofHatred

Member
Qasiel said:
People have done public confessions quite often, so I wouldn't worry about it being "Too early". Not sure how Cesspool is keeping up making the links (if they're just going via NTGYK's posts, or is reading through all of the posts in the thread).
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Reading through all of the thread.

Which, given that I'm doing it early as opposed to at the very end like last year, is actually pretty easy.
 
A

AlimNassor

Banned
Truth be told I love these confessionals even if most of them are BS. I can't seriously be the only who thinks most of the real far out there confessions are BS? The doozy one was just :lol too unbelievable, too try hard edgy. The more mundane ones I believe but, anything crazy and outrageous like doozy scream fake. I want less try hard fake confessions, and more real confessions.
 
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NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
So I'm in high school right now and I have been wanted to talk about this with some one so I thought this would be a good place. So I have been thinking about my sexuality and don't really know if I'm bi or straight and just kinda feel like I done know yet. I sometimes feel I'm attracted to men and sometimes not. So I feel like I'm still figuring it out. I have also develop weird kinks from being online. But that is a whole other can of worms.
Also I'm glad that my parents are accepting of my sexuality which is reassuring. I haven't told them I felt like this, but they have told me and my siblings that if any of us are gay or bi or whatever that they are 100% accepting of it.
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It's awesome that your parents are supportive of whatever outcome. It's okay not to know at this point exactly where you are on the continuum that is human sexuality. Experiment! Have fun!

Safely tho. Always, safety first.
 
O

Omegasquash

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
It's awesome that your parents are supportive of whatever outcome. It's okay not to know at this point exactly where you are on the continuum that is human sexuality. Experiment! Have fun!

Safely tho. Always, safety first.
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Emphasis on it being OK not to know, confessor. It's your life, feel free to live it and figure it out along the way.
 
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Panthalassic

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
It's awesome that your parents are supportive of whatever outcome. It's okay not to know at this point exactly where you are on the continuum that is human sexuality. Experiment! Have fun!

Safely tho. Always, safety first.
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Confessor, it took me years to figure out my sexuality ("figure out" being a very loose term, I've been through like 3 different 'labels' in the past 4 years and now it's kind of just hard to explain). You don't have to put a label on it if you don't want to/can't either! It's great that your parents will be supportive though. Good luck!
 
B

Broken Joystick

At least you can talk. Who are you?
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
It's awesome that your parents are supportive of whatever outcome. It's okay not to know at this point exactly where you are on the continuum that is human sexuality. Experiment! Have fun!

Safely tho. Always, safety first.
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Confessor I'm sorta in the same boat. Not really attracted to men but god damn there are some good looking men in Hollywood that I'd never have a chance with. You're not alone with those thoughts and I'm sure plenty of others feel the same but would never say.
 
N

Necrovoker

Neo Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
It's awesome that your parents are supportive of whatever outcome. It's okay not to know at this point exactly where you are on the continuum that is human sexuality. Experiment! Have fun!

Safely tho. Always, safety first.
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You're at the perfect age to experiment, as everyone is trying to find where they fit. Heck, it's never too late anyway. Don't feel pressured: you have the time to find out who you are, and who you want to be.
 
J

JaeCryo

Banned
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
It's awesome that your parents are supportive of whatever outcome. It's okay not to know at this point exactly where you are on the continuum that is human sexuality. Experiment! Have fun!

Safely tho. Always, safety first.
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I was sort of like this in High School, I never had homosexual tendencies but I found myself appreciating the male figure a lot more than the female one.

Honestly, I feel like you're becoming comfortable enough with your sexuality as you're maturing that you can appreciate the beauty of a human body in a non-sexual way, since you say that it seems to "switch" on and off. The way I figured it out was actually really thinking graphically about having normal sex with another man, even going so far as to watching it but pretty quickly I discovered I wasn't into, and took it from there. EDIT: I would agree with other people that you try different things but make sure you approach things from an outside perspective so you don't feel like you're forcing or convincing yourself to feel a certain way.

I still find a lot of men, namely Hollywood stars (lookin at you Fassbender) a lot more attractive than many women, but I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality that I can appreciate that and not feel insecure about it while having it separate from my "normal" sexual attraction to women (there are some fine ladies out there).
 
G

gappvembe

Member
George Oscar Bluth II said:
The Darkness is coming? Here?!

tumblr_lyv1muCOPe1r70o2qo1_500.gif
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I met the band last week!
 
CharminUltra

CharminUltra

Member
This is such a great idea for a thread. I had no idea these were a thing. Now I'm gonna go search for the old ones and just binge-read them between updates here.
 
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rhophiehalul78

Member
I appreciate all the confessions even if the confessors think theirs are "tame". Actually I enjoy the light confessions a lot more than their more ridiculous counterparts. Thanks to everyone who participates/will participate in this. :) Cheers!
 
Lord Panda

Lord Panda

The Sea is Always Right
Sagely said:
I'm still catching up on the old confession threads, but have finished the big one from 2012. What a ride; I don't think I've felt so many conflicting emotions from one thread (Doozy...sister boob licker...those cousin stories...). Hoping this year's delivers equal amounts of madness and sadness!
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Got a link for these ones? Been in the 2012 and haven't found any of these infamous ones yet (quite a few mentions).
 
H

HideyoshiJP

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Yikes. That's either the plot line of an early 2000s sex comedy or an early 2000s Oscar bait flick. Maybe both!

On the one hand, you're legal. On the other, hand, as a teacher, it is illegal for him to fraternize with students sexually. On the third hand, stop going to old people parties.

Though at some point, you will likely run into this teacher again.

And if more people than you know...

Somebody's getting fired.
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I think I just watched this the other day...
6036.jpg
 
F

Fireblend

Banned
Sexuality is fluid, confessor. One can live most of their life declaring their love for strawberry ice cream only to find out what they really liked was vanilla. Or both. Or any ice cream flavor. Or just cold things in general.

Either way, the fact that your parents support you is probably the best thing you've got going for you. I hope to be as good a parent someday.
 
L

liliththepale

Banned
Sagely said:
Guy who licked his sister's boob while she was sleeping

The last one had me laughing, but to be honest the whole thread is a good read. You can get through it quickly by scrubbing down the page and only reading the posts with Ronito's cat face next to them.
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SMH at that cavalier dismissal near the end: "I think she's in jail now, lol". It's stupid stuff like that which makes your fake confession fall apart. Get it together, fakers! I demand higher standards in my smut.
 
B

Burger_Baron

Member
Sagely said:
Guy who licked his sister's boob while she was sleeping

The last one had me laughing, but to be honest the whole thread is a good read. You can get through it quickly by scrubbing down the page and only reading the posts with Ronito's cat face next to them.
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I read that like it was a horror story.

When he continued after the lick part I was all "Nonononono just bail out while you still can!"

Truly a life and death situation.
 
S

Sagely

Member
It's definitely one of the highlights for entertainment factor. That and someone admitting they once stole Lion King stickers, which is so cute and barely registers against the likes of Doozy and co. Not to mention the weirdly high volume of stories about people who had sex with their cousins. Sometimes it's easier to assume most of them are fake...

EDIT: the best part for me is when he's disgusted and disappointed that the boob tastes like normal skin. What was he expecting exactly?
 
T

TangerineCloud

Banned
Sagely said:
EDIT: the best part for me is when he's disgusted and disappointed that the boob tastes like normal skin. What was he expecting exactly?
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To be fair, I had similar feelings (though I was far from disgusted) when I tasted my first boob. Society and porn hype up breasts so much that it's easy to forget that, hey, they're just skin with little circular lightning rods for your mouth.

That said, I'm still very much about the boob life.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Hey hey! just one more and I'll walk away
All the everything you win turns to nothing today
And I forget when to move when my mouth is this
Dry and my eyes are bursting hearts in a blood-stained sky
Oh it was sweet it was wild and oh how we

I trembled stuck in honey
Honey cling to me so just one more just one more
Go inspire in me the desire in me to never go home
Oh just one more and I'll walk away
All the everything you win turns to nothing today
So just one more just one more go inspire in me
The desire in me to never go home

I listen to The Cure and Trent Reznor's Ghosts I-IV as I read through the confessions.
 
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