NeoGAF Anonymous Confessions 2015 - Bare Your Burdens

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CesspoolofHatred said:
I'm back, hooray!
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Little Nemo said:
Wait, what? SHE took pills to help you maintain an erection? Am I missing something here?
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Condoms cause a loss of sensation in the penis and if worn improperly can inhibit erections. She went on the pill so he didn't have to wear one.

Edit: This is my assumption, I am not the poster lol.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Long distance relationships are tough. Hanging onto years old crushes are tough.

Dude, just have a chat with your girlfriend and let her go if this isn't working. It's clear your heart isn't that into it.
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It doesn't matter all that much that you liked the other girl throughout your current relationship, because it's about to end. It's over, what else matters?

On another note, my wife and I had a conversation about crushes just yesterday. She said she never had a crush on anyone she knows, I don't count, she totally had a crush on me, but she's had crushes on many celebrities. I, on the other hand, have had a healthy amount of crushes on real people, that I was terrified to speak to, but only a couple celebrities.

My wife says that idk how I'd feel if I met with a former crush, while I said that I don't feel how I felt at the time of the crush. She said I don't know because one of her colleagues slept with an old crush and said that the crush returned after she hadn't seen the man in 10 years. Anyway, in my case, crushes fade and I dont have any yearning of what might've been. Pretty bland story and I forgot if there was a point, but that's okay.
 
If we get to the next page before sleepy time, I'll post another batch of stories.

Admiral Woofington said:
Eh I just told her "really?"

I broke it off with her not long after that and she went crying back to the ex. So I got rid of a girl who never wanted to give me a chance without having to compare me with another guy, and she got back (briefly they broke up later again) with her ex.
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Wow.

Just wow.
 
Public confession: I eat Taco Bell way too much. I was just trying to decide if I wanted to go there for lunch tomorrow or make a recipe for their jalapeno sauce.


taco bell and my bowels are best friends but most other fast food tex-mex places give me indigestion
 
GovtPlates said:
Public confession: I eat Taco Bell way too much. I was just trying to decide if I wanted to go there for lunch tomorrow or make a recipe for their jalapeno sauce.


taco bell and my bowels are best friends but most other fast food tex-mex places give me indigestion
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Fucking disgusting you should be ashamed of yourself.
 
Taco Bell obliterating your bowels is a myth or only true for people who do a poor job of keeping hydrated.

The food's still trash though.
 
One of the first sites that I spent a lot of time on and became part of the community for was the Penny Arcade forums. They were a generally pretty awesome place, with one exception: they had the habit of replacing/remaining things with puns of the phallic nature. For the most part these things were obvious and didn't really impact me at all. However I can think of two cases where I didn't realize a penile switch had occurred which left me with some embarrassing misunderstandings.

The first was their renaming of the party/forum game Mafia, to Phalla. I distinctly remember talking with friends asking if they had ever played this fun game called Phalla. I think this one isn't obvious enough that it really put me on the spot ever or at least no one outright laughed in my face.

The second switch up was a little more glaring however. The thread for discussion of the Large Hadron Collider was named [Large Hardon Collider] and I definitely referred to it as such several times before getting called out in my red faced shame.

Bonus confession: When I was in later elementary school my parents moved us from Florida to North Carolina. We moved into one of the first houses in a subdivision that was being developed which meant there weren't any kids my age around to play with. I was a little creeped out by the new house which was much larger and had lots of storage space and other little hidden cubbies. After school, I would have to take the bus home and be alone for an hour or two before either parent would get home from work. The lack of houses around plus that fear of being home alone in a new house eventually led to me not wanting to be in any room but the open living room until someone else was home. The only problem was all the bathrooms were tucked away way off in the corners where the monsters and robbers would definitely be hiding. So this lead to me pissing off the steps of the back porch every day for the better part of six months. It was so bad that eventually there was just a huge dead patch of grass at the foot of the steps. I imagine it had to drive my dad crazy as he has always tried to take meticulous care of his yard. I eventually stopped as houses were eventually built that had back yards overlooking ours.
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Did you piss in your backyard?

OhSweetPenis.png
 
This is not a confession about something that I did, is about something I didn't do and I wonder what could have happened if I did it.


The story: A few years ago I meet my wife, we both were really inexperienced about sex*, and one day, we where having sex, finished but I didn't want to pull out but I had this huge urge to pee. I told her that I had to pee and she didn't want me to pull out, and she asks me, "hmm, I wonder how does it feel if you pee inside?" So I look at her, she laughs, I laugh, I go to the bathroom, but then, from time to time, I wonder. I wonder if I maybe accepted, then maybe, just maybe, instead of just having filthy sex we would be heading down a path of filthy, filthy, FILTHY sex instead.

I mean, we love each other, but I do wonder if I closed a door that can't be opened again


*To all the guys worrying about being virgin at 19-20, here are a few more confessions:
-First date: when I was 25 years old
-First Kiss: when I was 26 years old
-Lost my virginity: again, when I was 26
So don't lose hope, I mean, if you had ONE date before 25 you have better game than me at least, and I'm married now. Way better game.
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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

IT'S NOT TOO LATE.
 
Suicidal filmmaker back (im using a different email provider cause the old one seems to have crashed). I just wanted to clear up a few things. I didn't expect the responses I got.

So, I've done a fair amount of traveling and living. I know what life has to offer. I'm not depressed, I just get mood swings. But it surprises me that so many people were upset that I would have the idea of suicide as if it personally affected them. I used this to confess to get it off my chest because, like I said, I can't really tell anyone. But just cause I'm confessing, apparently it's in poor spirits if I'm not asking for guidance? I dunno.

I also wanted to clarify, I will kill myself if I fail to make it as a filmmaker, not if I fail to go down as the greatest filmmaker in the world - that will just depress me but also motivate me further.

But yeah, that confession (and this) wasn't about attention if you'd believe it. I guess a further confession would be that there's no one in my life I actually trust to talk to even though apparently a lot of people trust me. Does that sound like a brag? Cause it's not supposed to. It's no fun being unable to tell people how you really feel about any given situation.

So there you have it. I' not an edgy teenager, just a guy that's bored of life.
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Did you know that psychopaths and sociopaths that are serving life terms in prison have the highest suicide rates because prison is really, really boring?
 
I only get off sexually when I can spy on women during intimate moments.

All this began when I was 13 and had a huge crush on my friends sister. My first voyuer experience was watching my friends sister masturbate while I hid in her closet. I had masturbated before but, never had it felt so good as to spy on a cute girls intimate moment. After that it was the only way I could get off. There were a few moments were I would sneak into her room or watch from afar and masturbate while she was but, they were rare. Most the time I would go in with her gone and just masturbate over her panties.

HS was a troubling time for me. I was young and horny all the time. I would see a cute girl and start thinking about her naked. It was a hard time for me and it only got worse when I met Amy, my first friend. One day while she was away, I helped her fix her PC and instead of just fixing it I installed a virus that allowed me to view her webcam. I wasn't thinking with my head but, with my dick. I was young and horny. For awhile I got a lot of good videos, from her masturbating to a sex video. Then the feed stopped and I fucked up by revealing something I couldn't have known without being there. There was no proof I was watching but, still she stpped talking to me after that.

it's been a long time (12-15 years) since Amy but, I still have it. The only acceptable sub is watching girls on webcams on porn sites and that's it. I feel dirty just sharing this...I'm embarassed.
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How'd... you get into your sister's friend's closet in the first place...?
 
E-Mail 1:

By now you guys must be tired of random fetish confessions, but I have no one to talk freely with about this, so bear with me, ok? I thought instead of doing this bit by bit I will just make this big ass confession with all my kinks and get it done with.

Anyways, I am a kinky person, and my wife is pretty vanilla, (similar to the double personality confessor, I guess), but I'm trying to find a compromise with her and see if we can find a middle point. So I am just going to list all kinks of mine I remember, and to what extent I was able to talk to my wife about it and try it with her. This is not to brag or to whine about it, but more to get it out of chest and maybe get some advice.

I am into being dommed (really I'm more of a switch, more on this later), my wife is not very dominant, but she does try to accommodate my desires. One day she tied me up and blindfolded me, used candles and ice cubes, then pegged me. It was awesome, but it was a one time thing, I have to get her to do that again sometime. I love being slapped in the face and choked a little, and she does it, but typically I have to ask for it. I also love facesitting, but she is shy about it and won't really get into it, you know?

She really isn't into being slapped in her face (butt slaps are all right), she loves anal (I wish I got as much out of being pegging as she does when I fuck her ass, seriously). I love blowjobs and facials (who doesn't?) she does suck me off, but it isn't like you know, that into it, which sucks for me (no pun intended). She let me cum on her face twice so far. The second time it got into her eye and really hurt, so I fear she won't let me do it again, though maybe I can convince her to keep her glasses on for it.

I have an armpit fetish, I love to sniff her sweaty armpits. At first she was shy about it but nowadays she doesn't mind.

I am also into crossdressing. One day she dressed me up and did my makeup and stuff (I am thin and have soft features, so I was quite passable actually). The thing is, this does not turn her on at all, and I really wish she would dress me up all pretty and peg me, but she dressed me up that one time more out of curiosity to see how I would look than anything else. If anything, I think it kills all her desire. I am also turned on by transexuals, I mentioned it to her, and she doesn't mind that I am into it, but again, it's really not her thing.

I would like to try watersports, but I am pee shy! Seriously, I have great difficulty pissing with someone watching. I would like to get my wife to pee on me, but I don't think she would do it. She does squirt and doesn't know it really is pee (right, GAF?) so, that is ok I guess.

What else, I fap two to three times a day, I think cum rags are disgusting and I don't always have a tissue nearby, so sometimes I eat my own cum, it doesn't really taste bad, and gets rid of it so why not. My wife doesn't now about the cum eating part. I'm working out the courage to tell her and maybe convince her to snowball, it would be pretty hot.

Anyway, that's it. Sometimes I think about hiring a sex worker to get my kinks on with, but really, I love my wife very much and could never cheat on her. I wish she would get all my kinks and be into them, but in the end everyone is different and I think all in all we are doing pretty well.
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E-Mail 2:

Oh crap I knew I was forgetting something. Latex clothing. I'd die for some black latex opera gloves and stockings, but my wife won't even wear the fishnets I bought her. Oh well. Ah and I eat her booty, she eats mine (I shave, I clean well) it's all good. Ok. Now I am done. For real.
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justin-timerlake_1.jpg
 
Hey GAF, this is my second confession. Unfortunately, this one isn't nearly as cheerful as my last, but it is what it is.

To cut to the chase, I have some pretty fucked up thoughts and there's nothing I can do to control them. I'll be with my girlfriend and a thought of her fucking her ex will suddenly just pop into my head. I'll be talking with my friend and his father dying will come up and that'll be all I can think about for a good while. I know this is normal to some extent, but not nearly to the amount that I have them, that is usually multiple times a day for an extended (at least a half hour) time.

I have thoughts of people going through tremendous amounts of pain, people *I care about* and it hurts me. I then blow these events waaay out of proportion to it the point where it's all I can think about. It gets to the point where I can almost physically feel the pain, and embarrassingly enough, it makes me want to hurt myself. I usually don't, but there are times where it becomes too much and I just start to burn myself, because at least the physical pain hurts less than the fucked up thoughts that I have.

I've always had intrusive thoughts, of me doing bad things to people, and in embarrassing sexual situations. To give an example I'll have a thought of me physically assaulting someone, or in another case preforming sexual acts on *much* older men. However, these I have learn to deal with, it's the new ones that have been messing with my head so much.

It's causing a large amount of depression and I'm seeing a therapist about it. I'm not going to do something stupid like kill myself, but I just had to get this off my chest. I feel like this is ruining my life at the moment, and I just wanted to let GAF know, so that if anyone else is going through a similar situation, they will know they aren't the only one.

Anyways, I'll update next November, hopefully with a more happy confession. Cheers, GAF, and keep your head's up : )
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This is perfectly normal:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrusive_thought
 
Randomizer said:
Condoms cause a loss of sensation in the penis and if worn improperly can inhibit erections. She went on the pill so he didn't have to wear one.

Edit: This is my assumption, I am not the poster lol.
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Oh, yeah, that would make sense. For some reason I was thinking she was taking Viagra for him or something. I wanted to say, "That's not how that works."
 
Suicidal filmmaker back (im using a different email provider cause the old one seems to have crashed). I just wanted to clear up a few things. I didn't expect the responses I got.

So, I've done a fair amount of traveling and living. I know what life has to offer. I'm not depressed, I just get mood swings. But it surprises me that so many people were upset that I would have the idea of suicide as if it personally affected them. I used this to confess to get it off my chest because, like I said, I can't really tell anyone. But just cause I'm confessing, apparently it's in poor spirits if I'm not asking for guidance? I dunno.

I also wanted to clarify, I will kill myself if I fail to make it as a filmmaker, not if I fail to go down as the greatest filmmaker in the world - that will just depress me but also motivate me further.

But yeah, that confession (and this) wasn't about attention if you'd believe it. I guess a further confession would be that there's no one in my life I actually trust to talk to even though apparently a lot of people trust me. Does that sound like a brag? Cause it's not supposed to. It's no fun being unable to tell people how you really feel about any given situation.

So there you have it. I' not an edgy teenager, just a guy that's bored of life.
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I mean, this still doesn't make any actual sense. You've taken a continuous variable and insisted it's a binomial one, and all that does is fuck up equations. How do you even quantify "not making it as a filmmaker"? It's not like there aren't people who made it into <whatever> that had to try for quite some time to get there. Or people that fail to get into something, continue as a hobbyist at it, and then either get into the industry formally or find a famous niche in a new way. If everyone just said, "yup, guess I've failed at <blank>, time to give up now" no one would ever get good at anything. People who are good at things would never break into the field they want.

mp9gPBF.jpg
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You can't just say "welp, I've failed at age <25>, guess I'll give up now," when maybe you would have made it at 30. Or 35. Or 40. Or whatever, pick a number. You could argue that if it's taking too long you shouldn't continue bothering with the effort, but fuuuuuuuuck that. That's not how history is made.

I know I've responded to the same confessor twice now with absolutely zero guarantee or reason to believe he'll listen to me or care about what I have to say--hopefully I don't upset him--but I couldn't let that logic stand unchallenged.
 
C0unter said:
I didn't enjoy A space odyssey when I watched it for the first time 2 weeks ago.
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Caught up on the entire thread now, but this is legit the most disgusting thing I've read.

NotTheGuyYouKill said:
E-Mail 1:
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That's a hell of a lot of fetishes. Seems like your wife is trying to be as accommodating as possible.

If something you want to do e.g. cross dressing, is a little too overwhelming for her, don't push it, or seek the services of sex workers.
 
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Did you know that psychopaths and sociopaths that are serving life terms in prison have the highest suicide rates because prison is really, really boring?
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Filmmaker, the problem is that you seek a form of validation in the opinions of others. In fact, you're basing your entire existence on what other people think of your work.

Healthy people don't do that. Happiness and validation must come from within. You have to diversify your identity. Click the link and heal yourself.

Here's an excerpt:

When you have money, it&#8217;s always smart to diversify your investments. That way if one of them goes south, you don&#8217;t lose everything. It&#8217;s also smart to diversify your identity, to invest your self-esteem and what you care about into a variety of different areas &#8212; business, social life, relationships, philanthropy, athletics &#8212; so that when one goes south, you&#8217;re not completely screwed over and emotionally wrecked.
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Your life needs to be less one-dimensional. Good luck.
 
I love how here people will talk about the messed up things they are into. I personally think that everyone has done or would do some weird or messed up sex stuff.
 
When I was in high school, my neighbors asked my parents if they would look after their pets while they traveled for a week during the summer. Since I was doing nothing but play video games and watching anime day in and day out, my parents pushed the task onto me.

There's a twist, though: these neighbors had a daughter I was enamored with. She had the biggest boobs I had ever seen, and frequently displayed them in low-cut tops and tight dresses. This often made her the subject of my teenage masturbation fantasies.

On my first day of pet care, once I finished refilling the animals' food and water, I crept over to the daughter's room (I don't know why I felt the need to sneak; no one was there) and took a look around. Clothing littered the floor. I caught sight of several pairs of panties on the ground. With my heart beating like crazy (I feared that they had cameras and might have been watching me), I picked up one pair of my neighbor's underwear, brought it to my face, and took a whiff. I don't know what came over me, but after that, I started grabbing whatever lingerie I could find and rubbing it against my face (with occasional licks, I'm ashamed to say). Eventually, I fastened several of her panties to my head so that I wore some kind of panty-helmet, and jerked off on her bedroom floor (I made sure not to leave any biological evidence, if you get my drift). I continued this every day until my neighbors returned from vacation a week later. They never suspected any foul play.

That is the worst thing I've ever done.
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Y'all need some Jesus. Panty helmet. Lord.

You should have asked out the girl next door too.
 
I do get what the kinky guy with a vanilla wife is saying. Pretty much the drama of my life. Not the same fetishes, but every time I had a girl that was kinky and wanted to try stuff out, sex was great but I couldn't get into the person to build a relationship with her. When I can build a relationship with someone, that person is always vanilla. :(
 
ClosingADoor said:
Jerking off on your neighbors floor is "not so bad." I'm never letting any of you people in my house. That's just messed up.
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Hey, this was the young version of the confessor. I'm sure we all did some stupid shit when we were kids.

Wear them proudly in your head confessor. Semper fi!
 
ClosingADoor said:
Jerking off on your neighbors floor is "not so bad." I'm never letting any of you people in my house. That's just messed up.
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Have you seen some of the other confessions in this thread?! Yes, jerking off on your neighbors floor as a kid or teen is "not so bad" compared to a lot of the others lol
 
Jazz573 said:
FTFY. :P
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Goddamnit, my english teacher would fuck me up for this mistake. Thanks :p

NotTheGuyYouKill said:
btw, this page alone has like seven confessions.

Dumping them together may not be the best thing :/

One week left!
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I agree. It's a bit overwhelming. But at least most were funny.

Filmmaker confessor, chillax. You may never be a film maker, but you might become the greatest writer that ever lived. Who knows?
I think you're to hung up on making a difference on the world, to appreciate whatever else there is.
 
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