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[Duster]

They have less money too, a nice meal is a fixed price, a night out could get expensive, before you know it you're ordering rounds of shots, buying kebabs and ending up in a strip-club/casino/hospital/police cell.

Anyway even people who do something interesting often end up boring, somehow people that spend months travelling the world often end up with duller tales than when they stay at home.

 

[Maledict]

It takes a huge amount of work, on both parties side, to maintain a friendship when people have kids. The person without kids needs to understand that the rules have changed, people can't socialise like they used to, and parents have greater priorities than getting drunk playing games.

Equally though, most new parents tend to retreat into themselves and their kids, especially when they have their first. When that happens, its very hard to maintain friendships with people who don't have kids - it's just a lot easier if your friends also have children, as you have similar conversation topics, you can arrange events which cover for the kids, etc etc.

I've had friends who completely ditched their old friends when they had their kids, and basically only kept friendships with couples who had children. Equally, I've had friends who made a real effort to keep friendships going despite having children. All depends on the couple, their situation and priorities. It's very hard to do, and I've grown used to it by now (but like I said, it's equally requires an effort on the part of people who don't have kids - you HAVE to appreciate what's changed, and change your expectations and flexibility around that).

I definitely go for more brunches with people now than I ever used to, as apparently that works well for parents... ;-)

 

[Shuggananas]

No one said that.

People have been calling OP a character for enjoying going to a bar

 

[WanderingWind]

People have been calling OP a character for enjoying going to a bar

Nope.

 

[RulkezX]

People have been calling OP a character for enjoying going to a bar

No they haven't.

A few maybe called him on not understanding how bars and clubs and 20yo's and shots stop being the centre of a parents universe or for not understanding why going wild isn't the #1 topic of conversation, but no one said "omg op why you in a bar "

 

[BocoDragon]

I always heard there was some mental switch that gets flipped when you have kids, where you care less about personal interests and the care of your kids becomes the reason for living. I don't know if this is biology or just the psychology of this huge responsibility, but it becomes all about your kids.. And sure, it's boring to everyone else.

It's like pictures and stories of your babies and kids on Facebook. Is there anything more gauche and cringeworthy? Is there anything more dull to everyone else? But if I had kids, I'm sure I'd be right with the rest of them.

 

[Gravy Boat]

People have been calling OP a character for enjoying going to a bar

Not really.

Listen to a 2 year old sing Let It Go for the 10th time.

vs

Joining in with a bunch of your friends, and some strangers you met before, singing in a karaoke room you guys rented out, doing shots right before you sing each time, after getting a table at the club where you met up with those strangers while one of your buddy tried to pick up a girl in the group, after pre-gaming at a local bar.

Going to a bar is fine. Going to a bar and drinking shots with strangers and watching your friends try to pick up girls on a regular basis is somewhat sad and dull for a 30 year old, especially given the topic of the thread.

 

[Herbs]

If you think that's an insult then just a tease in response to people calling me a character, maybe parenthood has made you too sensitive

or i don't have kids but find you to be off-putting and a sad little man.

 

[hydragonwarrior]

Lol a kid is a full time job in itself, from seeing what my sister and my bro-in-law had to endure for the past 4 years so far.

Is there time to do other things? Only if you luck out with a babysitter or grandparents - but even then, maybe until they hit 6 or so are you more comfortable giving them more time away from you.

And it's very irresponsible to not give your kid your undivided attention in their early years. But as they grow older, it'll be a little bit easier to go out on weekends again. Maybe.

PS get used to waking up early. Kids wake up early.

 

[mrkgoo]

It's funny how people assume whatever age they're at is the final stage and that there's no more growing to be done.

As I get older, the more I realise that you're ALWAYS growing and changing. There isn't a single point where you just say, "oh I'm a grown up now" and your personality just freezes like that until you die.

 

[Coriolanus]

OP, just become friends with the girls you get to know. Replace friends as needed. All is ephemeral.

I always heard there was some mental switch that gets flipped when you have kids, where you care less about personal interests and the care of your kids becomes the reason for living. I don't know if this is biology or just the psychology of this huge responsibility, but it becomes all about your kids.. And sure, it's boring to everyone else.

Biology.

Also really guys, with the advent of the likes of Tinder and internet dating, one can always exit the house to go wherever with a date already lined up. You don't need to pick up girls at a bar.

 

[WanderingWind]

It's funny how people assume whatever age they're at is the final stage and that there's no more growing to be done.

As I get older, the more I realise that you're ALWAYS growing and changing. There isn't a single point where you just say, "oh I'm a grown up now" and your personality just freezes like that until you die.

Bingo.

 

[Symphonia]

It's a little thing called maturing.

Try it sometime.

 

[Tabris]

Then frankly, you should understand that the types of conversation people find entertaining are entirely subjective. Again, if I approach a non-football fan and trying to strike up a conversation about MNF, they would very likely be bored out of their gourd. And with the Lego line there, it's abundantly clear you're still fucking around. Nobody is quite that dense. Stop playing, bro. lol

But these are people that used to have a lot more interesting things to talk about. People that were storytellers, worldly, dynamic, cultured, philosophical, etc, etc (all the things that make people interesting to talk to) into this husk of the person they were after having kids. Sure that's a bit of an over-exaggeration, and it doesn't happen as much to everyone but it's still a significant change to their personality and my point still stands. It's not a compatibility thing as I can be compatible with a lot of different types of people (I have to be in Sales), it's just the things they have to talk about are now limited.

Also how am I fucking around by not playing with legos? I just didn't play that much legos as a kid. When I was very young, me and my friends would play with things like GI Joe and Transformer action figures and toy guns more then anything like legos. After that, it was video games and sports.

 

[Herbs]

This is how OP pictures his life:

And then there's his reality:

 

[travisbickle]

Joining in with a bunch of your friends, and some strangers you met before, singing in a karaoke room you guys rented out, doing shots right before you sing each time, after getting a table at the club where you met up with those strangers while one of your buddy tried to pick up a girl in the group, after pre-gaming at a local bar.

Really?

My friend's still single in his 30s and he went backpacking around South America with a couple of 20 something female friends ... I thought that was what you meant by not being boring? Not singing drunk karaoke and watching friends get knocked back.

 

[Tabris]

OP, just become friends with the girls you get to know. Replace friends as needed. All is ephemeral.

Oh yeah, there isn't a shortage of friends here and this isn't about most of my friends, just some of them. I'm just bummed that some of my older friends have become boring to me.

Really?

My friend's still single in his 30s and he went backpacking around South America with a couple of 20 something female friends ... I thought that was what you meant by not being boring? Not singing drunk karaoke and watching friends get knocked back.

May want to read the post again and not exclude the rest of the post in your quote. It was a contrast to the post about listening to a kid sing Let It Go. I'm saying listening to your friends (and joining them) in a karaoke room is more fun as that's a contrast to listening to a kid sing Let it Go.

I mean I should have expected this kind of response with my aggressive title but you guys sure are nitpicking

 

[numble]

But these are people that used to have a lot more interesting things to talk about. People that were storytellers, worldly, dynamic, cultured, philosophical, etc, etc (all the things that make people interesting to talk to) into this husk of the person they were after having kids. Sure that's a bit of an over-exaggeration, and it doesn't happen as much to everyone but it's still a significant change to their personality and my point still stands. It's not a compatibility thing as I can be compatible with a lot of different types of people (I have to be in Sales), it's just the things they have to talk about are now limited.

Also how am I fucking around by not playing with legos? I just didn't play that much legos as a kid. When I was very young, me and my friends would play with things like GI Joe and Transformer action figures and toy guns more then anything like legos. After that, it was video games and sports.

Why did you stop playing with GI Joe and Transformer action figures? They allow you to use your imagination to be storytellers, worldly, dynamic, cultured, philosophical. Playing video games and watching sports is so much more passive and people with such interests are a husk of the person that created interesting imaginative stories with their action figures.

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

LOL

There is nothing funny about it.

You think I want to bother with women in their 30s and 40s who end up wanting children. No.

I never EVER want children because of how much of a shit job my parents did with me. They never raised me, instead they made sure I didn't die and shoved me off to school where no one taught me anything worth while. Some people are unfit to be parents, and I'm one of them. And at least I'm self-aware enough to know that.

A lot of shit heels pop out kids and raise garbage humans who do nothing but waste time and resources. They in turn pop out kids and continue the cycle.

I’d rather hang myself than be responsible for that mess.

Is there really a connection to "intense exercise" and alcohol tolerance? I think a marathon runner for instance would have lower alcohol tolerance than an old man or alcoholic that does not exercise much but drinks hard alcohol all the time (or even just somebody that is taller and weighs more).

I’m not the one talking about metabolism and alcohol tolerance in the same breath:

Yeah, I had some fun times in my 20s but you have to grow up eventually. Get into your mid-30s and you'll find that your metabolism no longer can handle that lifestyle. Just a single shot of booze these days knocks me out.

 

[SolarMystic]

Giving up on trying to schedule anything with them. It's annoying. It requires long term scheduling and that's generally not how I live my life. I like making plans as things come up.

"Wanna go to Vegas this weekend?" Answer is always yes.

Wait, and you expect a new parent to drop everything at a moments notice?

I don't even have kids yet, but I like to make plans for things. I also love hearing about what's new in my friends lives. Some more than others, but if a close friend had a baby (which we all in my group are reaching that age) I would probably want to hear about everything, because I would be super excited for them.

You may just have grown apart with different interests and priorities.

 

[numble]

I’m not the one talking about metabolism and alcohol tolerance in the same breath:

Why are you quoting the wrong post that you are responding to? I was discussing your response to a post that focused specifically on alcohol tolerance:

What does working out have to do with tolerance to alcohol?

You responded with:

Do you think working out is purely about aesthetics? Intense exercise boosts your entire metabolic system. It also boosts your testosterone levels and makes you feel young well into old age.

Not keeping the future in mind when they're young is what results in people's metabolism turning to shit as they get older.

 

[Tabris]

And then there's his reality:

 

[Coriolanus]

Wait, and you expect a new parent to drop everything at a moments notice?

I don't even have kids yet, but I like to make plans for things. I also love hearing about what's new in my friends lives. Some more than others, but if a close friend had a baby (which we all in my group are reaching that age) I would probably want to hear about everything, because I would be super excited for them.

What age would that be?

 

[Tabris]

Honestly, Norm's life sounds more exciting then most of these new parents

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

You responded with:

Try bothering following the chain of replies to the top:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=186722414&postcount=114

 

[numble]

Try bothering following the chain of replies to the top:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=186722414&postcount=114

I understand the chain, but the chain is clearly more focused on alcohol tolerance, especially the post you immediately replied to. If the chain is about alcohol tolerance + metabolism, and someone asks you about alcohol tolerance, and you respond with some nonsense that doesn't answer his question about alcohol tolerance, it doesn't give you a pass to handwave away your nonsense response that doesn't address the question about alcohol tolerance.

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

I understand the chain, but the chain is clearly more focused on alcohol tolerance, especially the post you immediately replied to. If the chain is about alcohol tolerance + metabolism, and someone asks you about alcohol tolerance, and you respond with some nonsense that doesn't answer his question about alcohol tolerance, it doesn't give you a pass to handwave away your nonsense response that doesn't address the question about alcohol tolerance.

I know full well what I meant and what I was replying to, but I get it. You're right and I'm wrong.

But next time I'll spell it out for you and if you can't understand that I'll draw you a picture.

 

[numble]

I know full well what I meant and what I was replying to, but I get it. You're right and I'm wrong.

But next time I'll spell it out for you and if you can't understand that I'll draw you a picture.

Okay, please draw a picture of your response to the question, "What does working out have to do with tolerance to alcohol?"

Some people are visual learners and it may make more sense. Right now, I still don't understand the connection with working out and alcohol tolerance and how your reply responds to that question.

 

[DistortionOfReality]

If you think that's an insult then just a tease in response to people calling me a character, maybe parenthood has made you too sensitive

I'm 25 and single, well paying job great apartment and going out most weekends.... You still come across as a smug fucking ass. Get a grip and accept that these people are living their lives how they want. If you are a friend, get involved with them and their children. If not, make your excuses and move on with your life. But don't be such a sanctimonious douche about it.

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

Okay, please draw a picture of your response to the question, "What does working out have to do with tolerance to alcohol?"

Some people are visual learners and it may make more sense. Right now, I still don't understand the connection with working out and alcohol tolerance and how your reply responds to that question.

I have no obligation to explain anything to you.

 

[FunkyMunkey]

 

[Tabris]

Some people are visual learners and it may make more sense. Right now, I still don't understand the connection with working out and alcohol tolerance and how your reply responds to that question.

I answered the question. Your body burns sugar (thus ethanol) faster when your ATP>ADP cycle is faster. Muscle mass increases your ATP>ADP cycle rate.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adenosine_diphosphate

I'm 25 and single, well paying job great apartment and going out most weekends.... You still come across as a smug fucking ass. Get a grip and accept that these people are living their lives how they want. If you are a friend, get involved with them and their children. If not, make your excuses and move on with your life. But don't be such a sanctimonious douche about it.

I'm creating a thread to discuss it. I'm not telling them they are boring. I talk with them about their kids. I'm just thinking how boring it is and I wanted to discuss that here to see what others thought.

 

[numble]

I have no obligation to explain anything to you.

I’m not the one agreeing to spell it out for me and drawing me a picture in the same breath:

But next time I'll spell it out for you and if you can't understand that I'll draw you a picture.

I answered the question. Your body burns sugar (thus ethanol) faster when your ATP>ADP cycle is faster. Muscle mass increases your ATP>ADP cycle rate.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adenosine_diphosphate

That is just metabolizing the sugar--that isn't about the tolerance to the alcohol's effects and the tolerance of the kidney, right? I think your claim is false--alcohol tolerance is more dependent on habit and weight--an obese alcoholic has more alcohol tolerance than a healthy and lighter person with a faster metabolism and without a habit of drinking alcohol.

 

[Red]

OP, give us some examples on non-boring things. You've just said bars bars bars so far, which makes me sad for you.

It doesn't sound like you have a problem with new parents. It sounds like you have a problem with people who watch too much TV.

 

[mrklaw]

But these are people that used to have a lot more interesting things to talk about. People that were storytellers, worldly, dynamic, cultured, philosophical, etc, etc (all the things that make people interesting to talk to) into this husk of the person they were after having kids. Sure that's a bit of an over-exaggeration, and it doesn't happen as much to everyone but it's still a significant change to their personality and my point still stands. It's not a compatibility thing as I can be compatible with a lot of different types of people (I have to be in Sales), it's just the things they have to talk about are now limited.

Also how am I fucking around by not playing with legos? I just didn't play that much legos as a kid. When I was very young, me and my friends would play with things like GI Joe and Transformer action figures and toy guns more then anything like legos. After that, it was video games and sports.

You're simplifying it massively though. If they were previously storytellers, dynamic, cultured etc - then there is every chance they are channeling that to their kids now, which will help them grow up to be good people too. The view you see of them on the occasional night out isn't reflective of who they are as a person, and it is harsh to so dramatically change your judgement of people that apparantly are your friends. That person is still in there, but they won't have time to get out as much, and when they do, perhaps they like to relax as they don't need to be the instigator of conversation and play anymore and someone else can lead. Why not take that as an opportunity to regale them with your conquests of the early 20's women?

 

[Red]

Maybe your friends are giving you the simple version of their lives, because they don't think you can understand or relate to what they're going through. Or maybe they put less stock in being social now, and just don't want to put the effort into impressing other people.

 

[storafötter]

I wonder what the OP finds as more enticing, less boring topics. Honestly people repeat themselves all the time when we talk. I think it might be more noticeable and boring because it is a topic that doesnt concern you like raising kids (people do talk a lot about work too if kids are not in the picture). Understandably this topic can have some interesting discussion, however I fail to see how becoming a parent makes you a more boring person by default. Chasing new meat every week and repeating the ritual of going out for a drink to talk gossip and contemplate pseudo-intelectual world solving problems. All people get boring fast.

 

[The Mule]

You and your friends are drifting apart. You have less common ground to relate with them on. People and their priorities change, and that's ok.

Don't judge them for it, otherwise they might start judging your lifestyle choices...

 

[John Kowalski]

why aren't you talking about this with them? They probably know how you feel

are you worth them putting effort into not being boring?

 

[Risible]

"Can you believe Tabris? Dude is never going to grow up. For fucks sake he's still dating 20 somethings. And if I have to hear one more story about how wasted he got last weekend I'm going to shoot myself. Yes, we get it Peter Pan, college never ended for you, some of us have moved on to adulthood."

What your friends with kids say about you on our super secret adults with kids only forum.

 

[bob_arctor]

I'm married with two kids and still manage to go drinking and hit up strip bars with my boys every now and then. It's all about finding a balance that works, but for parents of newborns and very little ones, it's infinitely tougher. But in those situations, if you're a friend, you should be able to understand that. I will say that my wife has definitely gotten more "boring" as far as going out. She's content being home with the kids all the time. *shrug*

 

[choodi]

"Can you believe Tabris? Dude is never going to grow up. For fucks sake he's still dating 20 somethings. And if I have to hear one more story about how wasted he got last weekend I'm going to shoot myself. Yes, we get it Peter Pan, college never ended for you, some of us have moved on to adulthood."

What your friends with kids say about you on our super secret adults with kids only forum.

So true

 

[FortuneFaded]

I'm not telling them they are boring.

 

[ColdPizza]

I don't really talk about my kids unless someone specifically asks. Otherwise I AM boring because of the time void in my life and lack of sleep.

 

[bob_arctor]

So in some ways, I sort of agree with Tabris, but in a very specific way. I absolutely HATE doing the married couples thing, especially suburban style. Like, hey, let's do brunch with the so and so's. How about no fucking way, not ever, thanks.

 

[Flambe]

Other than the exhaustion and lack of time there's also the kids are fucking expensive thing which curtails ones' entertainment options further.

That said, I probably for op's definition of boring before I had kids so ah well.

 

[The Mule]

he means he's not personally telling them to their face.

 

[Napoleonthechimp]

"Can you believe Tabris? Dude is never going to grow up. For fucks sake he's still dating 20 somethings. And if I have to hear one more story about how wasted he got last weekend I'm going to shoot myself. Yes, we get it Peter Pan, college never ended for you, some of us have moved on to adulthood."

What your friends with kids say about you on our super secret adults with kids only forum.

Translation: We're miserable, so you should be too!

 

[Paracelsus]

 

[Diodiablo]

As a guy in the same situation (mid-thirties, no kids, friends with kids) I can relate to OP.

Clearly having a kid screws hard with the priorities, as finding a good sitter is hard and also because, let's face it, kids are extremely funny just to be around. Add to this that with age you get more responsibilities at work and with the kids all the energies that you had before get spent easily. So it's clear that you cannot expect your friends to come with you 2 weeks in Pattaya or surfing in Australia like they did before, or can you?

Actually what I have noticed is that things change a lot from parent to parent, some of my friends even if they have kids continue hanging out every Saturday night (sometimes bringing the kid along, which can be a lot of fun if the kid is used to go out), while others are always too busy/too tired to do anything.

A lot depends from the person, how used they are to kids (a friend of mine has never loved kids much, so now that he has a daughter he literally cannot come with her, the poor sod doesn't even know how to play with her, in fact she loves when "uncle" comes to visit ), how much access they have to parents/siblings that can babysit and all in all, to their character and personality. Usually those that love or hate to party are the ones that are hit harder by the new responsibility, those who where more easygoing remain such.