Why are you so boring? (to Tabris)
- Thread starter Tabris
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BlitzerRadic
Member
Well if you're hanging out with mostly 20 y/o's then it kinda does.
teruterubozu
Member
So edgy man.
teh_J0kerer
Member
Speaking as someone who has become boring since having a kid, the answer is pretty simple.
The little bit of free time I get each day after my kid goes to sleep is spent exhausted doing nothing in particular.
The little bit of free time I get each day after my kid goes to sleep is spent exhausted doing nothing in particular.
POWERSPHERE
Member
Your friends are boring and youre a big baby.
ITT: people being judgemental of other people's life choices and defensive of their own.
This is basically all that needs to be said in any Internet lifestyle discussion.
digita1alchemy
Member
I have a 2 year old and between her, work and life's other demands, I don't have time to be interesting anymore. But my daughter thinks I'm the coolest person in the world, so that makes it okay with me.
I have a 6 and a 4. This nails it. I also realize that my childless younger coworkers who go out a lot, really aren't that interesting to me anymore,"oh, you went to two parties this weekend and drank alot,, that's nice", and they tell me this thinking they are making me nostalgic when you couldn't pay mevto go back to that point in life, meanwhile I made home made waffles , went to 3 sports practices, built an awesome minecraft farm with my daughter, fixed some shit around the house, gym, smoked a brisket, made the yard look nice, played some games etc etc.
Different stages of life basically.
Is OP trying to be that stereotypical twenty-something who says they hate children and just wants to have fun for the rest of their life? Cuz he's doing swimmingly at that.
I'm not even a parent and I'm still in my early 20's but fuck dude, there's this thing called perspective and empathy. Maybe you should look into that more, OP.
I'm not even a parent and I'm still in my early 20's but fuck dude, there's this thing called perspective and empathy. Maybe you should look into that more, OP.
freenudemacusers
Member
these threads are always amusing.
Vincent Grayson
Member
Having kids at that age is the Dark Souls of parenting.
That's Hermes "Jesse" Cochran KatsopolisI'm pretty sure the OP is Jesse Katsopoulos from season 1 of Full House.
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
I'm more sick of ugly baby photos on Facebook. Like get a cat or something instead christ
It's particularly amusing for me because I'm between both camps.
Married but don't have kids, previously thought I would never want to have kids, now want to have kids in the future (in ~1 year), still scared out of my mind at the prospect of having kids. Just because I'm scared about having kids and think it will be hard isn't enough reason for me to rule that option out of my life entirely. Some of the most challenging things in life can be the most rewarding... they can also be the most soul crushing.
I can see the pros and cons of both perspectives, but the high horse mind set from both sides in this thread is ridiculous. Get over yourselves. None of you have figured out life better than the other side.
There is no universal "the right choice about having kids" for everyone. If you decide to have kids, presumably you gave it a great deal of thought and decided it was right for you at that time in your life. Ditto if you decide not to have kids. Why be an arrogant dick about it?
AdventureRacing
Member
It's pretty clear who has the problem here. Look at the name of this thread and the contet of the OP, it's not as if the parents here just started a thread to whine in.
FYI I don't have kids but i also don't lack basic empathy and understand why someone's life style might change with kids. Just like single people complain about their friends when they enter a relationship, people without kids complain about their friends who have them. Simple fact is that peoples priorities change over time and having a kid has an obvious impact on that.
dantevsninjas
Member
Fucking a. I'd have to move.
quickwhips
Member
You are bitching about your friends doing stuff while you in a routine of going to bars and banging 20 year olds? Pot meet kettle. Your life sounds boring.
quickwhips
Member
That is bad ass lol. Kids are cool.
Well then don't take them to the bar, or anything that involves drinking and shit talking.
Go hiking, skiing, water skiing, mountain biking, etc. Something that gets them outside and early in the morning seems better for parents.
I mountain bike 6am every Sunday, I'm pretty much the only without kids in the group and we all have a laugh and enjoy the fresh air.
edit: just realised this is a 11page thread lol..thought there was only 1 page.
evil solrac v3.0
Member
So I'm at the age where some of my old friends are married and having their first children (early 30s) and without fail, the same truth always emerges - they become boring.
So first, caveat, I am not the best person as it'll probably won't be until I'm 40 before I have my first kid as currently I tend to only date women in their early 20s. But this also gives me a better perspective having my foot in both ponds (early 30s and early 20s) and I've just noticed this more and more.
I could never ask my friends this. And I know the answer will be about your time being prioritized around your child as they are the most important person in your life blah blah. I get that. I understand people not being able to go out as often if barely at all. I don't have an issue with that, I've had moments like that when I was doing part time school when I was younger and lately working on my startup.
The issue is that when they do get a chance to go out - they have nothing interesting to talk about anymore. We'll be at the bar and they'll just talk about either 1) the child and what's happening with them. 2) what they just watched on tv. Zzz.
It sounds so awful. I've told my friends, if I ever say "we're trying to have kids" to tell me this:
I don't think your friends are boring, they just don't have to entertain you like your ego demands. and anecdotally, my friends have kids and they are fun, interesting people.
maybe it's just you?
The Shadow
Member
Worse, a thirty-something.
Seriously? If the OP was younger, I'd be more forgiving because we've all been that age. But fucking 30?
No one is obligated to have kids and have a family (I know 3 couples that are 40+ and childless) but there's got to be some basic understanding that a lot of people do want that and move on, especially by the late 20's or 30's. Fuck. OP just sounds excessively needy and narcissistic now.
Just gotta say that I really appreciate you and some of the other non-parent posters that understand.
TickleMeElbow
Member
If your friends become "boring" after having kids, then they probably weren't that interesting to begin with.
Most of my friends who have kids are still doing cool shit and have interesting things to talk about, prolly because they're interesting people to begin with.
Most of my friends who have kids are still doing cool shit and have interesting things to talk about, prolly because they're interesting people to begin with.
psynergylover
Member
??? my cousin pay about $800 a month for her son's daycare 8-6 mon-fri(after 6 they charge more
I guess she's lucky
Can you imagine a parent actually admitting to themselves that they made a mistake with having a kid? Once they do their world will come crashing down.
NinjaMouse
Member
Like everything, it's location, location, location. NYC and the surrounding areas are just expensive. I know folks paying over $2k/mo. for child care in Manhattan and in Jersey City.
I am said person who has become boring, I am aware of it and can explain.
You have asked a new parent to a bar, this is likely the only adult interaction they will have outside of the office that doesnt involve kids or organising kids.
Also hiring a sitter costs money. My wife and I have decent jobs (£65k between us, which is about average for UK) but we also spend around quarter of that (yes seriously) on childcare so we can work, which means we have very little free money to do anything interesting.
Also kids are fucking exhausting, so in an evening all we want to do is chill and watch some mindless shit on tv, if were lucky well have enough mental capacity to play a videogame.
Also partying is fine, we love to party, however spending a full Saturday with a 1 and 6 year old is not fun, and its seriously not worth it for that to become a regular thing.
Plus we love our kids so spending that cash on a night out feels like a waste when we can put it towards making Christmas more special or taking them to the zoo instead.
Also I am super aware that folks without kids do NOT want to hear about my kids unless its something like "he shat in the bath" or "she asked me what your privates are cos some of the boys at school were showing each other their privates in the bathroom"
Hope this answers your question.
You have asked a new parent to a bar, this is likely the only adult interaction they will have outside of the office that doesnt involve kids or organising kids.
Also hiring a sitter costs money. My wife and I have decent jobs (£65k between us, which is about average for UK) but we also spend around quarter of that (yes seriously) on childcare so we can work, which means we have very little free money to do anything interesting.
Also kids are fucking exhausting, so in an evening all we want to do is chill and watch some mindless shit on tv, if were lucky well have enough mental capacity to play a videogame.
Also partying is fine, we love to party, however spending a full Saturday with a 1 and 6 year old is not fun, and its seriously not worth it for that to become a regular thing.
Plus we love our kids so spending that cash on a night out feels like a waste when we can put it towards making Christmas more special or taking them to the zoo instead.
Also I am super aware that folks without kids do NOT want to hear about my kids unless its something like "he shat in the bath" or "she asked me what your privates are cos some of the boys at school were showing each other their privates in the bathroom"
Hope this answers your question.
those people are the worst
freenudemacusers
Member
Neogaf in January is full of a lot more ugliness but nobody complains about that.
LeeRoyBrown
Banned
Kids are exhausting and time consuming and money consuming.
People would rather be at home with the people they love then out with obnoxious wankers doing fucking nothing but talking shit and wasting money.
People would rather be at home with the people they love then out with obnoxious wankers doing fucking nothing but talking shit and wasting money.
Dr Mayonnaise
Member
If I am not at work, school or sleeping I am hanging out with my 4 year old son. I can't really do stuff that an average single 20 something person will find exciting and still involve my family, so any story I have from the past 4 years and I imagine the next 14+ will be about said family. Call me boring, but to me nothing is more fun than playing some Mario 3D world with my wife and son on a Friday night, or getting up on Sunday morning to make family breakfast.
wingedarcher7
Member
I feel like people don't understand how big the impact of having a child is until they have one. Which is why I probably have no idea either.
I've noticed that parents with kids tend to spend most of their time on the computer or on their phones in front of the TV, though. But I feel like lots of people do that now even without kids, so I don't know.
I've noticed that parents with kids tend to spend most of their time on the computer or on their phones in front of the TV, though. But I feel like lots of people do that now even without kids, so I don't know.
You don't think that can be fun? Never been to a BBQ before?
Says the guy who thinks of anything past Granville as "here be dragons"
charlequin
Banned
People really underestimate how often this is the case. The zombie lifestyle and time crunch from having a kid is super real, but interesting people don't actually turn boring because they're tired and busy. If a friend has a kid and you discover they suddenly can only talk about ultra-boring shit, it is extremely likely that they've always been this boring and you just didn't care before when you were both getting trashed every time you hung out.
I mean, the part where you started talking about how much you hated the "boring shit" like "dinner parties" was really kind of an eye-opener about what's going on here. If you want to only date 22-year-olds and only socialize like a 22-year-old then when your friends start families you're gonna have a bad time.
It's true though. It's the equivalent of Manhattan (Downtown) to Queens (Burnaby) to Newark (Surrey).
Anyways, so many people in this thread are deflecting the topic of being boring using me instead of addressing the fact they're boring.
choodi
Banned
There's only one delusional person in this thread mate...
Do you not enjoy brunch?
Sure, brunch is enjoyable activity with the right people. Most fun ever? Come on.
I am betting "most fun ever" is hyperbole, but I bet it is fully enjoyable to the person in question.
Based on this, I think we've solved why you're having such a hard time getting your friends to return your calls.
I don't know what that is, and you are confused, I'm not the one calling my friends with babies to make plans. I don't bother. They are the ones contacting me when they have time. I'm just saying it's unfortunate when I do hang out with them, they are husks of the people they once were and are kind of boring.
I of course don't tell them that, but I'm posting my inner thoughts on an internet forum to get them out and discuss them
I of course don't tell them that, but I'm posting my inner thoughts on an internet forum to get them out and discuss them
You don't bother contacting friends with kids?I don't know what that is, and you are confused, I'm not the one calling my friends with babies to make plans. I don't bother. They are the ones contacting me when they have time. I'm just saying it's unfortunate when I do hang out with them, they are husks of the people they once were and are kind of boring.
I of course don't tell them that, but I'm posting my inner thoughts on an internet forum to get them out and discuss them
When you have children, your perspective and world changes.
You seem to find people interesting only if they talk about their possessions or latest real estate purchase or their car. Other people are amazed they made a kid and the kid is still alive and relish seeing the kid advance through age and learn new skills and enjoy the emotional connection and interaction.
When you're dating people that don't even know what major they're going to graduate with let alone where they'll be 10 years from now, and limit your activity partners to people within a 4 block radius, you're not really going to gel with people that haven't left the yuppy lifestyle yet. They're not boring. You're just not compatible, and they're not interested in being the usual Vancouver Activity Partner level of relationship anymore.
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