• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

Would someone's bisexuality make them undateable?

Status
Not open for further replies.
63 percent of those surveyed said they'd opt out of traditional labels like "homosexual," "heterosexual" and "bisexual," the same percentage also said they wouldn't date a man who has slept with another man

the way that this also sums up the gay community, wew
 
Bi porn never really hits that sweet spot for me. Either the two dudes focus on each other too much and leave the girl to herself, or they only focus on her and never interact with each other. There's like little/no high quality stuff where all three people are really into each other :( such a struggle :(

Yeah most bi porn is only good during the foreplay/blowjob phase lol

That's my only contribution to this thread. Have had absolutely awful experiences dating as a pansexual male and it just hurts to think about
 
I wouldn't care if a girl I was dating was bisexual. I'm monogamous, though, and that's important to me. I imagine one can be bisexual and monogamous. If she was interested in having multiple partners, then that's her prerogative, but not something I'd be comfortable with.

And that's okay, just not for me.
 
I think everyone greatly underestimates the liberalness of places like gaf.

I know tons of trump supporting idiots, on a personal level.
And yeah, no chance in hell they would date a bisexual person.

post this on some sort of "young conservative website" and you would get a lot of responses, probably way worse than in that survey.

Also, go look at a poll as to what percentage of people actually believe bisexuality is a real thing, and not just a transition between straight and gay. I bet the numbers would shock you.


I think we can all agree that it isn't a big deal, and that the "they have more opportunities to find others" makes no sense. But yeah. Plenty of people in America have really awful opinions of anyone that doesn't conform to traditional gender norms.
 
I think there's a stigma applied to any kind of fluid sexuality.

For example: If your SO is into people of their own sex, that means maybe they're a bit more sexually adventurous and maybe they'll grow bored of you since you're into just one gender.
 
I see that the stereotype of atypical orientations being strongly correlated with an excess of sexual libido is alive and kicking.

Almost as if people thought that bisexuals were bisexuals specifically because they want to have more sex with more people.

Also wow those two sentences are two pixels apart in length!
 
I think there's a stigma applied to any kind of fluid sexuality.

For example: If your SO is into people of their own sex, that means maybe they're a bit more sexually adventurous and maybe they'll grow bored of you since you're into just one gender.

This would be my concern i think. Might be too self conscious about them getting more satisfaction from another woman or something. Its not that im against a bisexual person its more id feel like i might have trouble living up to their expectations. Others im sure have no such insecurities.
 
This would be my concern i think. Might be too self conscious about them getting more satisfaction from another woman or something. Its not that im against a bisexual person its more id feel like i might have trouble living up to their expectations. Others im sure have no such insecurities.

Do you also live in fear that your hypothetical partner might also leave you for a man who's different/'better' than you? Because that's the only way your concern makes any sense.
 
Nah, all my ex girlfriends are bisexual. I can see it bothering some people, though.

This would be my concern i think. Might be too self conscious about them getting more satisfaction from another woman or something. Its not that im against a bisexual person its more id feel like i might have trouble living up to their expectations. Others im sure have no such insecurities.

Like this. I hear this a lot and I'm not gonna judge people over this type of insecurity.
 
bisexual boyfriend would be very hot! i would have to keep him from getting closer to curious girls though ;)

I feel like I always say the same shit in these kinds of threads lol. Being rejected by straight people and gay people is the weirdest shit, and you'd think gay dudes would be better at being able to tear down stereotypes but nah.
Gay people in the end can be as selfish,racist, prejudiced as the rest. unfortunately. sometimes its just the education/values of the person that determines their acceptance of others.,
 
This would be my concern i think. Might be too self conscious about them getting more satisfaction from another woman or something. Its not that im against a bisexual person its more id feel like i might have trouble living up to their expectations. Others im sure have no such insecurities.

It's the Chasing Amy thing.
 
The worst prejudice against Bisexuals comes from the gay community. It's not even really close. Some of them will roll their eyes in your face when you tell them, it's the most insulting shit.

There's nothing inherent to bisexuality that lends itself to polyamory, at least any moreso than heterosexuality or homosexuality.
 
I think there's a stigma applied to any kind of fluid sexuality.

For example: If your SO is into people of their own sex, that means maybe they're a bit more sexually adventurous and maybe they'll grow bored of you since you're into just one gender.

That's not really how attraction works, though. To a woman who is attracted to women, sex with women isn't adventurous. How would it be? It's not that she's actually only "normally" attracted to men and sex with women is some kind of kink. She probably feels pretty similar about sex with men or women, although obviously the experiences would be different. But sex is always different with a different person.

Your theoretical bisexual partner could be interested in both genders and still be pretty average or even boring when it comes to being sexually adventurous. The two things don't really have anything to do with each other. If you're worried about boring your partner, that could just as easily be a concern with a straight woman, and there are obviously always things a couple can do to spice things up.

I think a lot of this comes from cultural conditioning where people see opposite gender attractions as default and anything else is therefor exciting and adventurous.
 
My girlfriend is bisexual. It's not really affected anything in our relationship, except for the fact that we can talk about hot girls we see and in movies and stuff knowing we are both attracted to them.
 
Women have always been allowed more leeway to experiment with their sexuality, but society has never given men that same privilege. And women (in this poll, at least) reinforcing that notion doesn't come as a surprise.

EDIT: Also, this question being posed to straight GUYS is going to lead to a lot of obvious answers, lol
 
As a straight female, I would not be opposed to dating a bisexual man. As long as I know ahead of time, I'm okay with it. I think..I grew to this change as I got older.

A couple of years ago, it would of been strictly no. But I guess i'm just above treating sexuality as something one should be ashamed of and just embracing it as normal.
 
I feel like I always say the same shit in these kinds of threads lol. Being rejected by straight people and gay people is the weirdest shit, and you'd think gay dudes would be better at being able to tear down stereotypes but nah.



Your hypothetical bisexual boyfriend will probably leave you for being so insecure before they leave you because they're more interested in women.



And yet my own relationships have lasted multiple years without issue regarding my own bisexuality. Incredible.
how many naked bodies did u crawl over to reach the device u posted on, be honest
 
As a straight female, I would not be opposed to dating a bisexual man. As long as I know ahead of time, I'm okay with it. I think..I grew to this change as I got older.

A couple of years ago, it would of been strictly no. But I guess i'm just above treating sexuality as something one should be ashamed of and just embracing it as normal.
Why would it have been a strict no in the past?
 
My current girlfriend is bisexual. She didn't tell me until several months after we started dating and when she did I didn't even bat an eye. It really doesn't matter. I do sometimes wonder if she'll ever feel unsatisfied but it's a rare thought that usually only comes to me when I'm not feeling super great about myself. She's loving and sweet and I really have nothing to worry about.
 
They have this question on OK Cupid and I don't think I have ever seen a woman answer yes to if they would date a man who had sex with the same sex. Most men predictably don't care.

This. I found it interesting that even bisexual women wouldn't date a bi dude. The only legitimate excuse I have heard is a girl who is a blood donor and she said sleeping with a Man who had sex with men would prevent her from doing that.
 
We've had people on this site argue they'd allow a bisexual lover to cheat on them with a member of the same sex, because it somehow wouldn't be cheating.

When even accepting people think that bisexuals can't be faithful, do you really expect anyone to give a bisexual person consideration as a serious romantic partner?

This. I found it interesting that even bisexual women wouldn't date a bi dude. The only legitimate excuse I have heard is a girl who is a blood donor and she said sleeping with a Man who had sex with men would prevent her from doing that.

"legit excuse" as if women need to justify why they wouldn't want to sleep with a man.

I don't get it. Most women wouldn't want to fuck an ugly dude. Why shouldn't they be able to take sexuality of their partner into consideration? What makes it different than any other trait?
 
Why would it have been a strict no in the past?

Back then I was very insensitive to it. I grew around the notion that gay was bad, and any man associated with it was going to hell. Especially growing up in an environment that would shame you if you were even considered as such really did it to me.

But I grew up, and these things started to matter less to me. I was more exposed to gays to the point that most of them are my close friends and I have been desensitized to it all that now I don't even care. So if he has fooled around with men in the past, I don't care. Just let me know.
 
I feel like I always say the same shit in these kinds of threads lol. Being rejected by straight people and gay people is the weirdest shit, and you'd think gay dudes would be better at being able to tear down stereotypes but nah.



Your hypothetical bisexual boyfriend will probably leave you for being so insecure before they leave you because they're more interested in women.



And yet my own relationships have lasted multiple years without issue regarding my own bisexuality. Incredible.

Unless I'm mistaken, haven't most or all of your relationships been open relationships? Not that those aren't valid, but you realize not everyone wants an open relationship I hope. And if bisexuality was only not an issue because you were open, it does nothing to assuage the fears of people wanting a monogamous relationship.
 
I feel like I always say the same shit in these kinds of threads lol. Being rejected by straight people and gay people is the weirdest shit, and you'd think gay dudes would be better at being able to tear down stereotypes but nah.
Well yeah, just because you're gay, doesn't automatically mean you're the most tolerant. Like how minorities can be racist against other minorities. There is prejudice in us all.
 
Unless I'm mistaken, haven't most or all of your relationships been open relationships? Not that those aren't valid, but you realize not everyone wants an open relationship I hope. And if bisexuality was only not an issue because you were open, it does nothing to assuage the fears of people wanting a monogamous relationship.

uh

not a single one of my relationships have been open
 
Bi porn never really hits that sweet spot for me. Either the two dudes focus on each other too much and leave the girl to herself, or they only focus on her and never interact with each other. There's like little/no high quality stuff where all three people are really into each other :( such a struggle :(

Go the path of Blacked and be the change you want to see in the porn world.
 
No, it could probably get me off the hook tbh. Hell that would be like having a partner who is also a scout for a three-some.
 
We've had people on this site argue they'd allow a bisexual lover to cheat on them with a member of the same sex, because it somehow wouldn't be cheating.

When even accepting people think that bisexuals can't be faithful, do you really expect anyone to give a bisexual person consideration as a serious romantic partner?



"legit excuse" as if women need to justify why they wouldn't want to sleep with a man.

I don't get it. Most women wouldn't want to fuck an ugly dude. Why shouldn't they be able to take sexuality of their partner into consideration? What makes it different than any other trait?

People can date who they like. But a lot of the reasons why people wouldn't are related to homophobia and the reason I mentioned above seems fair and not related to homophobia. People can have their standards it's their own business, they can have whatever criteria they like for screening partners: too many sexual partners, being a virgin, having fake boobs, being trans, having fucked a black guy etc. they can give their reasons whether rational or not and you can choose whether or not to judge or accept their reasoning
 
People can date who they like. But a lot of the reasons why people wouldn't are related to homophobia and the reason I mentioned above seems fair and not related to homophobia. People can have their standards it's their own business, they can have whatever criteria they like for screening partners: too many sexual partners, being a virgin, having fake boobs, being trans, having fucked a black guy etc. they can give their reasons whether rational or not and you can choose whether or not to judge or accept their reasoning

I don't think homophobia or biphobia is really the issue here. I mean look at shit like this from supposed supporters.

No, it could probably get me off the hook tbh. Hell that would be like having a partner who is also a scout for a three-some.

The implication is clear. Bisexual people can't be happy with a monogamous relationship. Even people going "yeah I'd totally date a bi person" seem to be fine with it under the presumption that it would mean endless threesomes or a guaranteed open relationship.

When even the allies/supporters of bisexual people are saying "bisexual people can't do monogamy" how could you possibly get mad at people wanting monogamy for avoiding bisexual people?
 
Didn't you know?

Bisexual men are just closeted ticking full-gay time bombs waiting to go off. Better not date them if you're a woman because you'll look like a bamboozled idiot in front of your family. Better not date him if you're a man because you'll have to deal with his lies about being heteronormative before he finally comes out and admits being gay.

Bisexual women are just as bad. They date other women to be seen as attractive to men. They date men and admit the flings were all just a phase.

How convenient that 'gay for play' homosexuality is a choice for them. They can choose straight relationships, so why don't they just choose that all the time? They're just hyper-libido deviants trying to get the casual perks of homosexuality without having to experience any of the struggle.

Never date someone bisexual, they're incapable of having a serious relationship until they stop lying to themselves and get over their promiscuous period.


...or so people have said around me, making me not want to tell anyone about being bisexual. :c
 
We've had people on this site argue they'd allow a bisexual lover to cheat on them with a member of the same sex, because it somehow wouldn't be cheating.

When even accepting people think that bisexuals can't be faithful, do you really expect anyone to give a bisexual person consideration as a serious romantic partner?

I'm really struggling with your post for several reasons, mostly the conflation of relationship and sex as well as the utterly ridiculous strawman ("accepting people") upon which you base your assertion.

First let's deal with the supposed cheating, it cannot be cheating if the partner expresses consent for the other to engage in sexual activity outside of the relationship. By definition this isn't cheating (i.e. engaging in behaviour which goes against the assumed or stated agreement between the parties regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity).

Secondly, fuck your strawman. Not all "accepting people" assume that bisexuals cannot stay faithful and portraying it as if this was the case is disingenuous.

"legit excuse" as if women need to justify why they wouldn't want to sleep with a man.

I don't get it. Most women wouldn't want to fuck an ugly dude. Why shouldn't they be able to take sexuality of their partner into consideration? What makes it different than any other trait?

Yet again, this focus on sex rather than relationship.

The only aspect of sexuality which comes into play is the monogamy, if they don't want an open relationship then the issue isn't bisexuality which is the hindrance it's monogamy. Assuming that bisexual people aren't monogamous is prejudiced and lacks basis in reality, it's like saying gay people shouldn't be allowed to be teacher because they're all paedophiles.

Sure you're free to not date a bisexual or not hire a gay teacher (in certain states), but just because you can doesn't make it ethically sound.
 
What if things got serious? Would you worry about her not being satisfied with just a man?
I mean if you worry about than you should about other men too. Imho I just don't care about my partners sexual past it their business and as long as they disclose any potentially harmful stds I'm game.
 
The implication is clear. Bisexual people can't be happy with a monogamous relationship. Even people going "yeah I'd totally date a bi person" seem to be fine with it under the presumption that it would mean endless threesomes or a guaranteed open relationship.

When even the allies/supporters of bisexual people are saying "bisexual people can't do monogamy" how could you possibly get mad at people wanting monogamy for avoiding bisexual people?

I never implied those things.
 
Eh, I'm dating a bisexual person now, and I'm fine with it because I satisfy all their needs and more. I don't think they'll be wanting to go to the other side of the fence while they're with me.

A lot of my heterosexual girlfriends have expressed they would never date a bisexual male, and even my more 'open-minded' female friends have expressed they see it as a major concern as far as a long term commitment. It's definitely some gender bias going on there.
 
A girl being bisexual by itself wouldn't bother me, but if they ever brought up having an open relationship and bringing another girl into it it'd be a complete deal-breaker immediately if it was early in the relationship and I'd give serious thought to ending it if it was a while into it. That's not for me and never will be. I don't want to share the person I care about with someone else and I don't want to be shared with another person. That's just not my thing.

And as someone brought up a girl getting drunk and kissing other girls in bars - that would probably end it for me right there. I won't innately distrust someone for their sexual preference, but if someone is with me and they cross lines that trust goes away pretty fast. My girlfriend is straight, but it's been brought up and she knows that I don't find the thought of her making out with another person of any gender to be cute, or fun, or sexy, or a turn on in any way and that it'd hurt me pretty badly. It's one thing to look, it's another to stick your tongue down someone else's throat.

Share?

You don't own them. Nor should you assume, as you have here, that just because they're bi they're potentially an untrustworthy cheater.

So tired of this view. It's incredibly insulting to bisexuals/pansexuals.
 
I'm really struggling with your post for several reasons, mostly the conflation of relationship and sex as well as the utterly ridiculous strawman ("accepting people") upon which you base your assertion.

First let's deal with the supposed cheating, it cannot be cheating if the partner expresses consent for the other to engage in sexual activity outside of the relationship. By definition this isn't cheating (i.e. engaging in behaviour which goes against the assumed or stated agreement between the parties regarding emotional and/or sexual exclusivity).

Secondly, fuck your strawman. Not all "accepting people" assume that bisexuals cannot stay faithful and portraying it as if this was the case is disingenuous.



Yet again, this focus on sex rather than relationship.

The only aspect of sexuality which comes into play is the monogamy, if they don't want an open relationship then the issue isn't bisexuality which is the hindrance it's monogamy. Assuming that bisexual people aren't monogamous is prejudiced and lacks basis in reality, it's like saying gay people shouldn't be allowed to be teacher because they're all paedophiles.

Sure you're free to not date a bisexual or not hire a gay teacher (in certain states), but just because you can doesn't make it ethically sound.

I would date a bisexual person. I'm explaining what I believe the thought process is of people who wouldn't.

If you don't want to bother trying to understand how people with conflicting opinions think, that's your problem not mine. Sorry berzeli.
 
It's kind of a shame how many assumptions there are about bisexuality. Too many people are way too insecure about their partner cheating just because they're attracted to two sexes.

My boyfriend is bisexual and whenever his sexuality is brought up I get the "so what is it like dating someone who's bi?" It's exactly the fucking the same in any relationship, whether you're monogamous or not. If anything I'm more greedy than my boyfriend since I crave attention way more than he does.



I don't get this either. I don't know if I could consider this homophobic or not, but what makes it so different with a guy/girl sleeping with the same sex, as opposed to the opposite sex?

Definitely homophobic.
 
I would date a bisexual person. I'm explaining what I believe the thought process is of people who wouldn't.

If you don't want to bother trying to understand how people with conflicting opinions think, that's your problem not mine. Sorry berzeli.

Good for you.

Pointing out the errors in the way they think (i.e. the false view of bisexuals as inherently being cheaters) isn't not trying to understand them, it's just that, pointing out the errors in the logic which empowers biphobia.
You said that the issue isn't biphobia when it's exactly that. It's the stereotype that bisexuals cannot be monogamous which is textbook biphobia. Just look at wikipedia:
gdxlqhP.png

But sure, go ahead and tell me what the "real issue" is.
 
Good for you.

Pointing out the errors in the way they think (i.e. the false view of bisexuals as inherently being cheaters) isn't not trying to understand them, it's just that, pointing out the errors in the logic which empowers biphobia.
You said that the issue isn't biphobia when it's exactly that. It's the stereotype that bisexuals cannot be monogamous which is textbook biphobia. Just look at wikipedia:
gdxlqhP.png

But sure, go ahead and tell me what the "real issue" is.

I don't know why you're being so aggressive. I think maybe you should relax a bit.

Anyway I misspoke when I said biphobia wasn't the issue. I more meant that supporters/allies are contributing to those biphobic attitudes. When someone who is pro-bisexual comes into this thread saying "ohhh yeah I'd date a bi women. That would be so hot. Tons of 3somes!", that furthers biphobic attitudes.
 
"Hell that would be like having a partner who is also a scout for a three-some."

How does that not imply at least some of that?

Firstly, it was a facetious comment. Second it's not meaning to make any claim about all people who are bisexual. I'd probably rewrite it now to say "could" instead of "would" to avoid any confusion. The whole comment was meant to fly in the face of people that would take issue.
 
Sure you're free to not date a bisexual or not hire a gay teacher (in certain states), but just because you can doesn't make it ethically sound.

I missed this the first time, but this is sort of a gross comparison.

I don't think anyone would consider it an issue to not have sex with or date a person you had no physical attraction to. Does this comparison mean you'd be fine with refusing to hire a person who wasn't sexually attractive?

I think being able to provide food/shelter for yourself is a fundamental right. If nobody will hire you, and there is no social safety net, you literally will die from lack of funds at some point. Lack of food/shelter can kill.

Nobody is entitled to a date.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom