This is what I fear.
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I'm 30 and have never moved out
- Thread starter cereal_killerxx
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This is what I fear.
i'd want my kids out at 18 making something of themselves
captmcblack
Member
Yeah, if your folks are cool with it and your life/social life/love life is no worse for it - and if you're using the opportunity to actually help yourself get ahead in your independent life (saving lots of money, getting your academic/professional stuff on point or better, etc) - stay the hell home.
Living away from home is awesome, and is a great experience - but damn, it's expensive af.
Just make sure you're not a mooch, and you're living a legit independent life anyway. Can't be a grown dude not getting your own money and experiencing life as your own person/not as a function of your folks.
...unless you/your family is stupid rich, lol.
Living away from home is awesome, and is a great experience - but damn, it's expensive af.
Just make sure you're not a mooch, and you're living a legit independent life anyway. Can't be a grown dude not getting your own money and experiencing life as your own person/not as a function of your folks.
...unless you/your family is stupid rich, lol.
This is kind of bad advice.
You're doing it properly, making sure the numbers work before making a decision like this. Although if the option is open to move back if things don't work out as well as you hope, that might be something to try.
Are you actually saving the money / using the extra cash to pay off debt, or are you just freeloading off your parents and wasting your money on video games/going out/etc.?
As a parent myself, I won't allow my kids to freeload on my dime after they graduate HS. They can either attend college (my preference for them), join the military, or get a damn job and either pay me rent or move out with friends. They won't have to move out, but they damn sure will be working towards becoming a functioning adult.
As a parent myself, I won't allow my kids to freeload on my dime after they graduate HS. They can either attend college (my preference for them), join the military, or get a damn job and either pay me rent or move out with friends. They won't have to move out, but they damn sure will be working towards becoming a functioning adult.
I can't imagine my kid staying more than a year after college.
I barely survived my 9th semester, living at home after having been at school for 4 years, taking one online class. Just a miserable situation for everyone.
You can always move out. You just might not have quite the same quality of life you have at home, and that's OK. Time to be an adult. My first place was nice because I had a roommate, my second place was an absolutely shitshow because I wanted my own place. You live.
I barely survived my 9th semester, living at home after having been at school for 4 years, taking one online class. Just a miserable situation for everyone.
You can always move out. You just might not have quite the same quality of life you have at home, and that's OK. Time to be an adult. My first place was nice because I had a roommate, my second place was an absolutely shitshow because I wanted my own place. You live.
If saving money is your only concern, sure. Speaking personally, not living at home contributed to my sense of self-worth even though money is tight, and I don't feel awkward dating.
BodiesWithoutOrgans
Member
In Ireland kids only move out when married
Why would I move out wasting money on a flat when I can use it to go on holiday, treating my family etc
Why would I move out wasting money on a flat when I can use it to go on holiday, treating my family etc
Don't feel to bad. I have an aunt that hasn't even attempted moving out of grams'.
What the hell. Even the bad areas here(Louisiana) will run you at least $600.
What the hell. Even the bad areas here(Louisiana) will run you at least $600.
Jeronimo Jones
Member
I moved to a different state for grad school around 22, and there was no moving back home after that when the jobs were here. I stayed at home the summer between college and grad school and have pretty much been on my own since.
If possible, it would have been nice to work and save up for a few years by living with my parents, but it wasn't a real option. To top it off, my current job pays better than any alternative I would have had back home and I love living here.
So just do what you think works for your situation.
If possible, it would have been nice to work and save up for a few years by living with my parents, but it wasn't a real option. To top it off, my current job pays better than any alternative I would have had back home and I love living here.
So just do what you think works for your situation.
AyaisMUsikWhore
Member
Im not in my late 20's but early ... And i live in an apartment... That just happens to be under my parents house. It's a two family... And tbh, it's great except for the fact that My parents live upstairs from me.
Right now, I'm kind of free winging it and I don't have to worry about bills since they got them.. So I guess I can technically say I'm "living" with them. But I'm looking for my own own place away from them. And looking for roommates to move with. It's not that I don't like having my entire own space... It more of a privacy thing. I want to not exactly be under them... But getting my money right before I do that is essential and I would say don't move until that has been met and you know that you can support yourself. Once you get into a good rhythm on how to pay your bills, you won't be so bad. Make sure to look for everything included
Right now, I'm kind of free winging it and I don't have to worry about bills since they got them.. So I guess I can technically say I'm "living" with them. But I'm looking for my own own place away from them. And looking for roommates to move with. It's not that I don't like having my entire own space... It more of a privacy thing. I want to not exactly be under them... But getting my money right before I do that is essential and I would say don't move until that has been met and you know that you can support yourself. Once you get into a good rhythm on how to pay your bills, you won't be so bad. Make sure to look for everything included
samoscratch
Member
This
Honestly I will say your idea of how it affects the kids largely depends on your culture. Know a ton of my aunts and uncles in the family basically lived at home till they were married then struck out.
I dunno, I see a lot of the same in other Latino families. For that matter, I plan to take my parents into my own home when they get older as well (or my sister might or my brother depending on which one of us wins out, and yeah it's a competition lol). American culture seems oddly okay with booting kids out the door the first moment they get and then leaving their parents out in the cold later in life. Shit's just strange to me.
I dunno, I see a lot of the same in other Latino families. For that matter, I plan to take my parents into my own home when they get older as well (or my sister might or my brother depending on which one of us wins out, and yeah it's a competition lol). American culture seems oddly okay with booting kids out the door the first moment they get and then leaving their parents out in the cold later in life. Shit's just strange to me.
balladofwindfishes
Member
I lived with them until I was 24.
Used the time to save up to buy a house.
Used the time to save up to buy a house.
Lionheart1827
Member
I moved out when I was 27. I wanted to move out much earlier when I was in my early 20s, but my finances just weren't there, and then eventually I got laid off.
When I finally landed a much better and higher paying job, I started looking to moving out, but then I found out I had cancer and had to put it on the backburner. 9 months after I beat it, I finally closed on my first place, no roommates, and didn't know jack shit about living on my own. Best decision I ever made. Sure I saved up a nice chunk of change through those years living at home, but in the end I dont ever want to be forced to live with my parents again. Moving out kind of forces you to think and act differently. It will teach you personal responsibility and you'll learn over time. I've grown so much since I've moved out.
When I finally landed a much better and higher paying job, I started looking to moving out, but then I found out I had cancer and had to put it on the backburner. 9 months after I beat it, I finally closed on my first place, no roommates, and didn't know jack shit about living on my own. Best decision I ever made. Sure I saved up a nice chunk of change through those years living at home, but in the end I dont ever want to be forced to live with my parents again. Moving out kind of forces you to think and act differently. It will teach you personal responsibility and you'll learn over time. I've grown so much since I've moved out.
WickedLaharl
Member
This just seems incredibly selfish to me. Do you not even consider that no matter what your parents might say because they love you that they would prefer to have you gone?
Just because they gave you life doesn't mean they owe you the rest of theirs.
Screw dating, with the money you save not renting you can go and get a hooker a couple of times a month. They will probably more hotter than what you can get dating and with more variety!
Mr. Giggles
Member
Save your money as much as you can OP. I cry a little whenever it's time to pay rent and I live alone
I am honestly surprised at how many people are saying they have stayed at home into their late 20's/30's. I moved out at 17 (joined the military) and have always said that my children can stay as long as they are in school. After that, I can't fathom them staying rent free.
Although I will admit that I obviously can't read the future and the situation may dictate such things, but as of now, I can't imagine.
Although I will admit that I obviously can't read the future and the situation may dictate such things, but as of now, I can't imagine.
Vault Dweller 111
Member
O_O
Familienoberhauptvogel
Banned
It's fairly common in Europe to live at your parents all the way through university but god damn I wanna move out. First I'll need a job on the side though, and make progress in my studies 
I guess it also really depends on the parents too. When I lived with my parents until I was about 26, it was almost like I was living alone. My parents never got on to me for staying out late or whatever else. It honestly wasn't all that much different from living with a roommate or even alone (I kept to myself up in my bedroom most of the time).
This really isn't true. I'd say living with your parents until your older is more socially acceptable here but I don't think living with your parents until marriage is anyway the norm. Maybe 20 or 30 years ago, but not anymore.
KenzinFive
Member
Finally bought my own house at 29 a few months ago. I turned 30 last month. I had lived at college for five years (barring summers) and later Korea for two years while teaching English. I then spent 3 years living with my dad's family while I got my graduate degree and working two part-time jobs. After finally getting a steady salaried job two years ago, I made plans to move out.
However, I fully acknowledged that buying a house in my market (South Florida) would have been im-fucking-possible without a substantial amount of help from family. They paid for the bulk of my down payment, and I handled the rest. It blew through all of my savings (thanks to a bullshit insurance bill a month after I closed on the house), but now I live alone in a 2/2 house with around $1,200 in monthly payments for mortgage and HOA fees. That may seem like a lot, but I was finding 1/1 apartments with monthly rent at that price.
It depends on the family, but take advantage of what you can. Job and housing markets in big areas can be hard to crack, and very few people have the kind of support network that I had. There's coworkers a few years older than me who still live with family or with roommates to save costs. EDIT: The stigma isn't that bad here since it's common with Hispanic families, but man oh man, my dating life would have gone a lot better if I had my own place.
However, I fully acknowledged that buying a house in my market (South Florida) would have been im-fucking-possible without a substantial amount of help from family. They paid for the bulk of my down payment, and I handled the rest. It blew through all of my savings (thanks to a bullshit insurance bill a month after I closed on the house), but now I live alone in a 2/2 house with around $1,200 in monthly payments for mortgage and HOA fees. That may seem like a lot, but I was finding 1/1 apartments with monthly rent at that price.
It depends on the family, but take advantage of what you can. Job and housing markets in big areas can be hard to crack, and very few people have the kind of support network that I had. There's coworkers a few years older than me who still live with family or with roommates to save costs. EDIT: The stigma isn't that bad here since it's common with Hispanic families, but man oh man, my dating life would have gone a lot better if I had my own place.
Kid Kamikaze10
Member
Essentially moved out by the time I went to college, but officially was out by 23.
Best decision ever. I feel like an actual person away from them, but it's nice to see them every now and then.
If you can, do it.
Best decision ever. I feel like an actual person away from them, but it's nice to see them every now and then.
If you can, do it.
Vault Dweller 111
Member
Yea going home for long stretches during summer or winter break can just feel weird sometimes. Like you can't feel totally comfortable or something.
Forerunner
Member
There is nothing wrong with it. I moved out when I was 18 to join the military. After I separated from the military I was 24, so I moved back in with them until I finish school. Im now 27 and Ill be moving out this summer, since Im finishing school and starting my job. My parents actually like me here because I can tend for the house. They both work still and we live on five acres, so there is a lot of house work and up keeping to do. Its actually been great because it has allowed me to save a lot of money. All that being said, I cant wait to move out.
balladofwindfishes
Member
My mom cried when I said I was moving out. She didn't want me to go. She still keeps going on and on about how much she misses seeing me around every day.
Even though she sees me every day. Me not being at home feels wrong to her.
If she had her way, nobody would ever leave the house.
Within the same year I moved out and my sister went to college. I was unsurprised that about a month later my mom had started feeding the birds in the backyard every day.
It isn't always that simple for everybody, in some cases unless...
...Please knock before coming in.
Moved out when I turned 18. Not because me and my mom didn't get along alright, it was more that I just wanted to. Money was tight and I was going to school, but I think it gave me a real sense of personal responsibility and understanding of how the world works.
I have no idea how i'd be if I didn't move out at all. Honestly, my mom would have probably started indicating I should be on my own after college.
Not to knock on you, but you should really move out. I've had friends who found roommates on Craigslist, kinda risky but you gotta take risks if you wanna live dude.
I have no idea how i'd be if I didn't move out at all. Honestly, my mom would have probably started indicating I should be on my own after college.
Not to knock on you, but you should really move out. I've had friends who found roommates on Craigslist, kinda risky but you gotta take risks if you wanna live dude.
family_guy
Member
Living by yourself and living paycheck to paycheck is worse than being at home with parents and having money in your pocket. I know first hand. Moved out way too early. I had a nice place, but that's all I had. I had no cable, internet, and no money to entertain myself really other than the occasional movie or book. I'm much better off now but looking back it was a dumb idea.
Vault Dweller 111
Member
What do dumpsters go for in your area? Much more room. If you have the means I recommend the upgrade.
brianjones
Member
heh i can relate.. my mom would never actually say to me that she doesn't want me to move out but she's never actively encouraged me to either
another thing is that i don't feel like I'm lacking in any freedoms so i don't really have a drive to move out
starchild excalibur
Member
If living at home doesn't bother you or the folks too much then keep doing it. Keep saving and keep waiting for the right time.
Personally I think I'd have gone insane living at home up until now (29). Hell, I'm going a bit insane having a roommate despite how chill he is. I just miss the days of having my own apartment. Those days went bye bye when I moved to California.
Personally I think I'd have gone insane living at home up until now (29). Hell, I'm going a bit insane having a roommate despite how chill he is. I just miss the days of having my own apartment. Those days went bye bye when I moved to California.
NoctisVsStar
Member
its a culture thing definitely being Hispanic we handle ourselves different than white folks.
this comes with the territory, being hispanic either you work or go to school.. if not you're getting kicked out.
Moving out can be scary, but it makes you grow (up?). Sure, it very much depends on the person and the circumstances. But as others already said, it might be dangerous to get too comfy. The feeling to be more responsible about yourself and your own (or shared) space is equally frightening, sobering and amazing. And nothing I experienced or fully grasped until the moment it happend. If you don't have very good reasons to stay with your parents, I'd say you should go for it. Better sooner than later.
Maybe you can look for something temporary if you're not too sure about the whole ordeal. When I was studying abroad I had very good experiences with renting into a room in a shared flat for several months. But it very much depends on who you're living with and how you get along. Good friends don't always make good roomates. And you never know in advance.
Thought about moving to a different place/city/country? Or is it out of the question (for whatever reasons)? Even moving to a different district can drastically alter how you perceive/experience the town you live in. New places, new people, new routines. I love it. Maybe you do, too. Or maybe you hate it. But you should most defenitely try it.
Maybe you can look for something temporary if you're not too sure about the whole ordeal. When I was studying abroad I had very good experiences with renting into a room in a shared flat for several months. But it very much depends on who you're living with and how you get along. Good friends don't always make good roomates. And you never know in advance.
Thought about moving to a different place/city/country? Or is it out of the question (for whatever reasons)? Even moving to a different district can drastically alter how you perceive/experience the town you live in. New places, new people, new routines. I love it. Maybe you do, too. Or maybe you hate it. But you should most defenitely try it.
Almost 27 and still at home. It's a bit dumb since my commute is a bitch but I'm saving so much money...
I'm really seriously thinking about quitting my job and going on a long photography road trip later this year. Not sure if it would just be in the US or if I would go to other countries but when I get back I would need to figure out what I'm doing with my life and potentially move out for good.
I'm really seriously thinking about quitting my job and going on a long photography road trip later this year. Not sure if it would just be in the US or if I would go to other countries but when I get back I would need to figure out what I'm doing with my life and potentially move out for good.
Krappadizzle
Member
I've lived on my own since I was 17. It was tough as a kid, but not so bad once I joined the military. Once I got out, it's been a struggle to find a good job, so at the age of 29(30 in a few months) my wife and I will be moving in with my folks while I got to college. I found out growing up, that living with your parents as a kid can suck, but as an adult, I'm not worried or stressed about it.
A good family supports each other the best they can. Just do your best to improve yourself and everything will fall into place.
At 17 I worked 3 jobs(Gamestop, Home Depot, Movie Theater) to pay all my bills. After that I made a lot of money while in the military, now though, I make $18/hour which essentially puts me in the poor house here in the Bay Area.
A good family supports each other the best they can. Just do your best to improve yourself and everything will fall into place.
At 17 I worked 3 jobs(Gamestop, Home Depot, Movie Theater) to pay all my bills. After that I made a lot of money while in the military, now though, I make $18/hour which essentially puts me in the poor house here in the Bay Area.
UberTag
Member
I'd lived away from home prior to turning 30 but I kept coming back.
Set 30 as my "move out for good" date and stuck to it... moved out a month before my 30th birthday.
I honestly regret not having done it sooner. You have no idea how liberating it is until you pull the trigger on it.
That said, I can understand the allure for people if they're living at home free of charge. I was already paying rent regularly so moving out wasn't a huge transition budget-wise. Just had to fork it out monthly to my landlord instead of my parents.
Set 30 as my "move out for good" date and stuck to it... moved out a month before my 30th birthday.
I honestly regret not having done it sooner. You have no idea how liberating it is until you pull the trigger on it.
That said, I can understand the allure for people if they're living at home free of charge. I was already paying rent regularly so moving out wasn't a huge transition budget-wise. Just had to fork it out monthly to my landlord instead of my parents.
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