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I'm 30 and have never moved out
- Thread starter cereal_killerxx
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Darryl M R
Member
Raised by my grandmother and I moved out when I was 18 to go to college. Only time I went back was for my first two winter breaks, I worked on campus during the summer. During my junior year I moved in with my girlfriend into her dorm room (she had a single with a bathroom). Senior year we moved off campus into an apartment. It has been less than a year since graduation and we live in a one bedroom apartment in a nice part of town with a puppy.
. . .
But I often think about all the money I would be saving if I moved back in with my grandmother. But I feel like I am gaining important life skills that being independent brings but you can also gain these skills without living on your own--it is just harder in my opinion.
. . .
But I often think about all the money I would be saving if I moved back in with my grandmother. But I feel like I am gaining important life skills that being independent brings but you can also gain these skills without living on your own--it is just harder in my opinion.
LordOfChaos
Member
Just a) go their house b) do it a in a public place
I don't really like setting gendered expectations, but speaking societally, particularly if you're a dude, "your place, I live with my parents" would be an uncomfortable answer after a certain age that one could debate. I think certainly in the 25-30 period, and definitely above 30.
Pretty much. Don't feel pressured because it's the norm. Go at your own pace.
Huh? How about moving out of the nest egg and find yourself. Part of being a adult is the struggle of life. Are you going to live in the womb forever.
Be independent and your own self.
I moved out when I was 17. I feel like I experienced so many amazing and growth inducing things since then that I never would have experienced if I had stayed home with the fam. I met fantastic people I never would have, I discovered opportunities that I would have never been motivated to. I'm the type of person that gets complacent really easily and so I need to constantly force myself out of my comfort zone, which meant moving across the country instead of trying to stay at home and save up. What are you even saving up for? A house? You haven't fucked up enough.
Just my thoughts, but I imagine a lot of it is based off my personality.
Just my thoughts, but I imagine a lot of it is based off my personality.
LyleLanley
Banned
Being comfortable is like the worst reason to stay with your parents. Of course you're comfortable, being a child is usually pretty sweet.
Most of the places around here are like $800+ on rent alone unless you go somewhere truly rundown which at best is $680 (and probably won't let me bring my dog). I'm only paying $350 rent at my mom's house, the pricing comes from other things like my cell phone and the fact that she sold her car to me so I have a car payment through her.
So I don't think I would gain anything moving out, especially since I just recently lost my job and still need to find a new one. :/
Aztechnology
Member
Well I took a long route really figuring out what I wanted to pursue in college and stupidly took on loans in my first two years at a 4 year instead of going to a community college. So instead of saving, I'm really just not getting as much debt by doing so. I don't have a lot of choice in the matter.
No wonder half the country has zero savings if that's how people think
So this. My god.
Meh, I'm 26 and have now moved out, but had no trouble from 18-26.
On one hand, I want to have kids because I feel I'll regret not having them when I'm in my 50's and 60's +. On the other hand, I'm afraid they'd end up being bums that will want to live with me their entire lives and I'll lose my freedom/privacy/independence for the rest of my life.
GavinUK86
Member
Don't listen to the people telling you to move out. It's bullshit. If you're comfortable where you are then stay there. I'm 29 and live in the same house I grew up in with my mum. I suffer from a long term illness so I can't live on my own so I'm in a slightly different situation but even if I could I don't think I would unless I was financially stable and so was my mum. The idea that you should move out when you reach a certain age to gain "independence" is a load of crap. Your parents raised you, and hopefully did a good job, so I don't think there's anything wrong with sticking around and maybe even helping them out or taking care of them for a while if they need it.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I'm 26 and live at home, but I'm Indian so... That's pretty common.
I'm cool with my parents but my siblings and other family members annoy me.
I'm cool with my parents but my siblings and other family members annoy me.
I have like 5k in savings and I'm still in college and 22. You don't need to live with your parents to save money. I'm saying that if you live with your parents into your 30s you don't even really know enough about living alone to save up for anything meaningful that you truly desire. I'm seeing a lot of people just living at home to save up, but what's really the point if you already have the safety net of your parents.
Aztechnology
Member
But is the idea of living seperated from your parents, having your own place, being completely independent really a rational thing? Or is it just first world cultural phenomenon borne out of excess and stigma to incentivize... well spending.
I honestly think it's a good idea to move out to really deal with living on your own and having that freedom. Plus it really changes you as a person. I'm just curious historically what really created that concept?
Not if you raise them to be independent in a early age. Don't baby them and people should struggle. Struggling is part of life. I did it and it was the reason and motivation for me to better my life. The idea that you should cuddle your kid in their 20 and 30's is absurd.
A few people are stuck in room mate situations with there parents where they both pay rent as they can't afford it otherwise.
To those people how's the relationship with your parents?
Do they still treat you like a child or are you more akin to roommates?
Reason I'm asking is rents are rising and not paychecks.
To those people how's the relationship with your parents?
Do they still treat you like a child or are you more akin to roommates?
Reason I'm asking is rents are rising and not paychecks.
Ultimadrago
Member
I'm 24 and there's little else I want in the world.
Too old for this...
Too old for this...
I almost feel like it's an instinct you know? Leave the nest to go mate and build your own nest.
Vault Dweller 111
Member
Most of you would benefit long term if your parents kicked you out.
It's supposed to be hard.
It's supposed to be hard.
Of course! You have to be your own person. You can't possibly find yourself if you always have a nest to fall back on. Success and failure is part of life. You have to deal with it sometime the longer you wait the worse it gets.
Out of Working Order
Member
I am 30 and still live at home. Yes, I feel like I've missed out on life. I've got a whole bunch of problems to top it off. Never dated, never had sex, don't have a social life. I went out for a drink with a couple of work friends for the first time a few weeks back, and I felt like they'd rather have been drinking with anyone else but me. Not to mention I felt way out of my depth.
I am a joke. My parents love me, but I am pretty sure deep down they think I am a failure. I know I do.
On the upside, I have a lot of money saved up I can use to put down on a place. I am looking at moving out and getting a mortgage within the next year. I live in the UK, and the cost of rent is ridiculous for someone living alone. I figured it'd be better to save.
I am a joke. My parents love me, but I am pretty sure deep down they think I am a failure. I know I do.
On the upside, I have a lot of money saved up I can use to put down on a place. I am looking at moving out and getting a mortgage within the next year. I live in the UK, and the cost of rent is ridiculous for someone living alone. I figured it'd be better to save.
LordOfChaos
Member
I don't know the specifics of your anxiety issues but I've had past jobs where I was able to sit at home and do them in my birthday suit, those were pretty ok for a while. Just had to move on up after, but couldn't something like that be a start for you?
It was a technical support type thing, so I don't know how that would work for you, you're still talking to people, but just one at a time, without having them in front of you, and no crowds.
LyleLanley
Banned
The only way I can see it not being a rational thing is if you look at it like a robot that only considers pure numbers. Yeah, it makes more fiscal sense to live with your parents for your entire life but you're missing out on so much.
I'll be 25 next month and still live with my parents. I could easily afford an apartment if it wasn't for my student loans. I feel really bad about it.
Aztechnology
Member
I don't mean you whole life. haha obviously not. I meant early life. 18-25 range. Maybe slightly longer.
Although I will admit socially it's a crutch. There's a massive stigma in place that really hurts you. I find the thought of trying to bring a girl around etc really difficult.
The point is money, it's not complicated. Now whether the experience of living alone early is worth it or not is completely up to debate.
When is it time? You have money saved, cut the cord man.
GraveRobberX
Platinum Trophy: Learned to Shit While Upright Again.
Same situation but I'm Pakistani
Being first eldest you carry the burden of helping/staying with parents
I have my mom, she has me. 35, never dated (never got cultured into it), I have a very good relationship. I take care of the building as the super in return I get everything free of charge.
As weird as it sounds to a lot of you, I'm OK with being a mommas boy, she sacrificed too much after my dads death, I can't repay all of that in one lifetime
So I'm with her till the end
Also she would travel to her sisters on the weekends, I've had a good amount of time being alone
I've never thought about leaving her, I'm too attached and she is to me
LyleLanley
Banned
Even 25 is late in my opinion. Living apart from your family in your 20's is awesome.
Got `kicked out ' when I was 20, ended homeless and sleeping on the streets for weeks until my parents took me back in. Mothers friend saw me in the park and told her. She ended up taking me back in.
Experience fucked my mentally hard, last 5 years or so been out of therapy. Was unemployed for a long time to.
Sometimes in sink or swim situations you sink.
No shit. The struggles and ambition helped shaped my work ethic. I didn't want to fall back on my parents and be a damn burden and I refused to take money from them. I had too much pride. Stupid or not, that was my drive in life.
Vault Dweller 111
Member
It can't just be a numbers game. Getting out in the world is an integral part of growing up.
Doesn't sound worth the increased costs in the slightest.
Given that it would have very little impact on me finding a job (I am already commuting distance to the dc metro area) why would I care? If I found a job that I really wanted to do that was hours away would be one thing, but the place I'll be interning is simply 25 minutes away, just as an example.
if money is not a problem for you, sure
GavinUK86
Member
I can relate to that and I'm not Pakistani. Some people are just brought up in a decent manner where you care for your parents more and want to look after them, not abandon ship as soon as you possibly can.
Money is a problem for anyone that is young. Find a way to make money.
LyleLanley
Banned
It's about so much more than just being able to be naked in your living room though.
What a loaded post. I love my parents and have a great relationship with them, I'm not abandoning them because I don't live with them anymore. If they ever needed something from me I'd still be there for them.
Pull those boot straps yeah
Aztechnology
Member
It's about being able to be naked with other people in your living room right?
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