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[LyleLanley]

It's about being able to be naked with other people in your living room right?

(¬‿¬)

Yeah, that's actually a big part of it.

 

[Uncle_Classy]

I'm 24 and have never moved out at any point, even in college, though I definitely would've if finances had permitted. Finally have a job that can pay the bills after graduating. It'll be difficult for sure, but I plan on getting the fuck out of my parents house later this year. I don't think I can handle it much longer.

 

[Snowman Prophet of Doom]

I chose a very stupid thing to major in, so I'm back home living with my parents while I save up a little money to go back to school and get a degree in nursing. I don't like it one bit, despite it being relatively comfortable, but it made the most sense for me at the time. I may move out in the next few months, actually, because I do find I fall back on some of my childish tendencies when I know I have them as a safety net and find it really irksome to have them know pretty much what I'm doing all the time.

Edit: and yes, I find I don't really want to date as long as I am living with my parents. Where the hell would I take somebody if a date went well?

 

[gamz]

Pull those boot straps yeah

1000%

Be creative. Find out what you love to do. The earlier you figure that out the better.

 

[xxracerxx]

I can relate to that and I'm not Pakistani. Some people are just brought up in a decent manner where you care for your parents more and want to look after them, not abandon ship as soon as you possibly can.

Moving out is in no way abandoning your parents, that is just absurd.

What a loaded post. I love my parents and have a great relationship with them, I'm not abandoning them because I don't live with them anymore. If they ever needed something from me I'd still be there for them.

Well put.

 

[Regiruler]

It's about so much more than just being able to be naked in your living room though.

And the "freedom" to take life's drudging burdens on directly is something to sing praises for?

I agree with my parents ideologically, I love them, and I live close enough to a lot of potential jobs. The ability to have their input is simply invaluable, and any perceived "freedom" simply isn't worth it to me.

 

[MidgarBlowedUp]

So glad my parents had previously turned the attic into a full fledged apartment before I moved back in. It's just like any other apartment I just have parents as landlords. Wife and I will be moving back out once we get some more debt paid off.

Nothing wrong with living with parents, just don't depend on them for anything except a place to stay. Let them live their own lives and help out with whatever you can. Move out when you are financially stable, have manageable to 0 debt, a job, and have a nice emergency fund of at least $5,000 or more.

 

[Vault Dweller 111]

if money is not a problem for you, sure

It's a problem for everyone.

I understand that the same rules don't apply to everyone. And I'm not trying to use my experiences as the only reference. I'm just fascinated by this thread because had no idea how common this was. Sometimes you can't just make the choice that makes the most financial sense. Those of you living at home going to school, and then staying afterwards until the debt is paid off. You may be missing out on more than you think (I tried it). Living on your own for the first time, and being surrounded by people doing the same is something I wouldn't trade. People really grown into themselves in this environment. That may sound like BS but you really see it when you're here. I'm having the time of my life, yes the money situation can get scary, but that's just part of growing up.

I did the one year of college the 'smart' way and there is no comparison. I would never go back.

My situation may not apply to you. But if you don't want to leave simply for comfort reasons I'd encourage you to go see what you can make of yourself it may be the best decision you ever make.

 

[gamz]

So glad my parents had previously turned the attic into a full fledged apartment before I moved back in. It's just like any other apartment I just have parents as landlords. Wife and I will be moving back out once we get some more debt paid off.

Nothing wrong with living with parents, just don't depend on them for anything except a place to stay. Let them live their own lives and help out with whatever you can. Move out when you are financially stable, have manageable to 0 debt, a job, and have a nice emergency fund of at least $5,000 or more.

Dear lord...

Until you get into debt and you move back into the attic.

 

[Acosta]

I moved the first second I could. Tried as soon as I graduated but was forced into moving with family. Tried to leave after we moved. Couldn't for six months. Paid rent to family just for my own sake of independence and stayed gone. Left to move across the entire country. Fought back and forth awhile. Struggled. Survived because the restaurants I worked at essentially meant dollar menu half price was cheaper than groceries. Struggled. Worked Struggled and worked some more. Family knew I wanted my independence and to be my own person more than anything and eventually clued in that if they wanted to be apart of my life they needed to let me live my life. They offered to help me when times got really rough. Like top ramen and landlords goin through my stuff bad.

Was forced to live with them only once more for a short period of months after a landlord gambled in vegas then came back early and evicted everyone . So what'd I do? Stayed gone and used it as literally only a place to sleep and shower. Worked and struggled. Worked and struggled. Got married. Worked as a team. Supported each other. Worked and worked.

14 fucking years. We're more than fine now. We're on the fast track to success these days with my career and prospects. Wanna know how I feel looking back at those old days? They were fun even when they were hard because I was free. Free to say and act as I felt. Free to dress and go where I felt. Free to love and be with who I wanted. Free to discover who I actually was and what really truly mattered to me in life and what I wanted to achieve.

Move out and struggle. Live and discover who you are. Its worth every moment and so long as you remember you're free you'll never feel trapped no matter how much you struggle.

"He worked and struggled" will be a great epitaph for you (just joking).

Some of you guys have a weird concept of living with your family, but I guess it´s an american thing? Me, I have no need to leave home just for the sake of it to find a freedom I already have, and I have actually a responsibility with my mother so it would just be irresponsible for me to do it for such a reason. I can assure that I have not missed any vital experience so far, and for the struggle, life is enough struggle as it is.

There is no easy life, no matter what, everyone have their own demons to deal, and living alone in a small overpriced room is not going to improve anything. I would do that if I had to study or work outside of my town, but out of a need of "freedom"? The only thing I would have achieved with that is worrying sick my family and spending money that I could save for the future.

That was your way, I respect that. But I don't feel it will extrapolate well to many others. Just my two cents.

For the OP, just stay where you feel comfortable and focus on whatever objectives in life you have. There is not "a way" to live, don't force yourself to do something if you don't feel a personal need to do it.

I'm 24 and live with my mom, my 21 year old brother lives with my grandma

1. my mom pays rent, I pay for everything else
2. I do all the cooking, I've been cooking for the family since I was 13
3. I do all the cleaning and laundry
4. I buy my own groceries

My mom has never lived on her own, the first time she left the nest she got pregnant with me lol

I don't think I could ever see my mom just live by herself it would break my heart.

I live in san diego and I only know one person out of all my friends that lives on his own.

He splits his rent of 1450 between him and his roomie, he likes the independence and his roommate but hates everything else.

Man, I feel you...

 

[GavinUK86]

What a loaded post. I love my parents and have a great relationship with them, I'm not abandoning them because I don't live with them anymore. If they ever needed something from me I'd still be there for them.

Moving out is in no way abandoning your parents, that is just absurd.

I'm not the best at getting my points across. Didn't mean it to sound like that was abandoning them.

*shrug*

 

[LyleLanley]

And the "freedom" to take life's drudging burdens on directly is something to sing praises for?

I agree with my parents ideologically, I love them, and I live close enough to a lot of potential jobs. The ability to have their input is simply invaluable, and any perceived "freedom" simply isn't worth it to me.

Why would you lose their input by moving away?

 

[MidgarBlowedUp]

Dear lord...

Until you get into debt and you move back into the attic.

I was laid of for the 3rd and final time, then my job went to Mexico and China. Went back to college since it was paid for due to the layoff. I had to go into debt to finish school and cover medical bills from a hit and run accident that nearly killed me. The location I am in was hit harder than 99% of any other place in US and we still have an unemployment rate of over 20%. It was either I move back in or live on the street and possibly freeze or starve to death. Took me nearly 9 months after graduation to find a stable job.

 

[gamz]

I was laid of for the 3rd and final time, then my job went to Mexico and China. Went back to college since it was paid for due to the layoff. I had to go into debt to finish school and cover medical bills from a hit and run accident that nearly killed me. The location I am in was hit harder than 99% of any other place in US and we still have an unemployment rate of over 20%. It was either I move back in or live on the street and possibly freeze or starve to death. Took me nearly 9 months after graduation to find a stable job.

Well that's a extreme case. If you need help to get over a physical issue from an accident then of course you lean on family. That's what family is for.

 

[the1npc]

It's a problem for everyone.

I understand that the same rules don't apply to everyone. And I'm not trying to use my experiences as the only reference. I'm just fascinated by this thread because had no idea how common this was. Sometimes you can't just make the choice that makes the most financial sense. Those of you living at home going to school, and then staying afterwards until the debt is paid off. You may be missing out on more than you think (I tried it). Living on your own for the first time, and being surrounded by people doing the same is something I wouldn't trade. People really grown into themselves in this environment. That may sound like BS but you really see it when you're here. I'm having the time of my life, yes the money situation can get scary, but that's just part of growing up.

I did the one year of college the 'smart' way and there is no comparison. I would never go back.

My situation may not apply to you. But if you don't want to leave simply for comfort reasons I'd encourage you to go see what you can make of yourself it may be the best decision you ever make.

Being able to save for a place is way better than me renting a shit hole right now. Been on my own before it was way better but come on with this character development shit. The only thing i really miss is a place to bring a woman back to

 

[xxracerxx]

Why would you lose their input by moving away?

Because, obviously they don't want to risk using the phone and losing their cheetos.

It is just safer to never talk with your parents again after moving out.

 

[AlimNassor]

Being comfortable is like the worst reason to stay with your parents. Of course you're comfortable, being a child is usually pretty sweet.

Paying rent and treating her like a roommate isn't being a child. What's the difference? I pay rent, she pays bills, and cooks, I'll clean. I don't bring women here, and she doesn't bring men here. She never brings anyone here too hang out anyways as it's a small apartment and usually messy. It's not an ideal situation but, unless I get a major promotion or an actual job outside retail I'm fucked.

 

[The Beard]

I can relate to that and I'm not Pakistani. Some people are just brought up in a decent manner where you care for your parents more and want to look after them, not abandon ship as soon as you possibly can.

Oh please, most parents don't need to be "taken care of" in their 50's, 60's, or for most of their 70's.

Nobody is "abandoning ship" by moving out of their parents house before 30. This is a weird rationalization to justify living in your parents house in your late 20's and beyond.

 

[Renekton]

I'm a total loser in this regard haha.

I already own a house, but staying at parent's place and using all the former's rent to pay for my expenses from staying with them.

 

[LyleLanley]

Paying rent and treating her like a roommate isn't being a child. What's the difference? I pay rent, she pays bills, and cooks, I'll clean. I don't bring women here, and she doesn't bring men here. She never brings anyone here too hang out anyways as it's a small apartment and usually messy. It's not an ideal situation but, unless I get a major promotion or an actual job outside retail I'm fucked.

Not being able to move out and deciding not to move out because it's the most comfortable option are very different.

 

[Vault Dweller 111]

Being able to save for a place is way better than me renting a shit hole right now. Been on my own before it was way better but come on with this character development shit. The only thing i really miss is a place to bring a woman back to

Maybe not for you. But thats been my experience.

 

[Wreav]

It's been really eye opening to see how many 25 year olds and up still live at home.

Seems like not many of you consider the idea of living with 2-3 other people, which makes rent REALLY cheap.

Also seems like an extremely generational thing. Most of our parents wouldn't have been caught dead living with their parents past college, and a lot moved out in their teens.

 

[Laughing Banana]

I bet you many of you Americans will get your mind blown off by the fact that in my country, Indonesia, people living with their parents are actually the norm, and people wouldn't bat an eye towards it.

*GASP* Part of the world not similar to the US! What is this incredible sorcery?

 

[Sheentak]

It's been really eye opening to see how many 25 year olds and up still live at home.

Seems like not many of you consider the idea of living with 2-3 other people, which makes rent REALLY cheap.

Also seems like an extremely generational thing. Most of our parents wouldn't have been caught dead living with their parents past college, and a lot moved out in their teens.

how would i go toilet tho? sharing toilets with non family members is impossible!

 

[Vigilant Walrus]

I bet you many of you Americans will get your mind blown off by the fact that in my country, Indonesia, people living with their parents are actually the norm, and people wouldn't bat an eye towards it.

*GASP* Part of the world not similar to the US! What is this incredible sorcery?

Americans have been accustomed to a different kind of wealth, but these high housing prices and rents reflect a more divided society with a shrinking middle class. It used to me possible for the major white middle class to get a home, but those days are over, and it causes a lot of anxiety, fear and disappointment in a new generation in America who have to live worse than their privileged parents.


This trend will keep going up. We live longer, we are more independent, and we cannot build enough homes to support populations in major cities. The housing market keeps going up and up. It's a trend all over the world. Prices are gastronomical in any major city in Europe and America.

 

[the1npc]

It's been really eye opening to see how many 25 year olds and up still live at home.

Seems like not many of you consider the idea of living with 2-3 other people, which makes rent REALLY cheap.

Also seems like an extremely generational thing. Most of our parents wouldn't have been caught dead living with their parents past college, and a lot moved out in their teens.

Its the only time ill be able to save for a downpayment. I make shit money so i cant save abd pay rent

 

[The_White_Rose]

I'm 26, almost 27 and married. I graduated law school last year and got a job in November. Currently working and trying to save money before moving out.

 

[Wreav]

Its the only time ill be able to save for a downpayment. I make shit money so i cant save abd pay rent

If you make shit money you don't NEED a downpayment. If you can't save money while living on your own, home ownership is a stupid idea.

 

[the1npc]

If you make shit money you don't NEED a downpayment. If you can't save money while living on your own, home ownership is a stupid idea.

Ill get small yearly wage increases at work for a bit. I can afford the mortgaged payments but not a downpayment. And im talking small condo, ill never be able to afford a legit home but im ok with that.

 

[TKM]

Man the western culture on this is so different to Asians.
It's common in Asia for people to live with their parents up to the point where they get married.
I mean, why would you spend a lot of money paying rent when you can save those up for your house deposit.

This is a white person thing. Why do you feel bad for living with your parents? Why do you feel bad that you're keeping them company and helping with the bills? I don't understand why this is looked down on.

Truly. As children of Asian immigrants, my siblings and I benefited immensely from living at home. We lived away for university, and then lived with parents on and off for 6-9 years while holding professional positions. Small business, started. Dental school, done. MBA, acquired. We did those things without getting buried in debt. Sharing housing expenses is just so efficient.

Obviously everyone's relationship with their parents differs, but being able to max out a Roth IRA, 401K, and put 15% away into an ESPP at age 22 set me up for life. Never had to take a dead-end job just to survive, every job/internship lead to higher positions and more pay. Worked all over the world without having to worry about finding new roommates or breaking a lease.

My Asian-Am friends all did the same thing, we could have easily been roommates instead of living at home but why? Social life didn't suffer, we went out, had hobbies, took trips, dated. And yes, there was lots of sex.

My GF and I each own a condo here in SoCal. If we get married, we'll sell them and buy a nice house in a great school district. Not something we could have done without a headstart.

"The nest" is such a loaded term. Crowded, and something to fly out of after hatching. Home isn't a nest, it's Motherbase. It's where you conduct research, gather your resources, recruit allies, and launch operations from. Go out and kick ass.

 

[PaulloDEC]

While I can totally understand the idea of wanting to get out and have new experiences living independently, the suggestion that you should make your life a struggle for the sake of struggling seems nuts to me.

Work smart over work hard any day of the week.

 

[tmac456]

was on my own in college from 19-22. Moved back home at 23 to work shitty jobs then just before I turned 28, I bought my condo. Best feeling ever.

 

[Venus Van Dam]

I'm 30 and might move out this year or the next. I prefer to think about moving out as a necessity rather than a rite of passage to adulthood or anything like that. If you can't stand your folks or your job demands you to move, then you move out. Otherwise stay at your parents until living alone gets economically viable.

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

I moved out as soon as I could, but still depended on them for money sometimes till I graduated college. Still have to even now with how shitty the economy still is.

 

[LordOfChaos]

Some people are just brought up in a decent manner where you care for your parents more and want to look after them, not abandon ship as soon as you possibly can.

You can still take care of your parents after you've moved out...

And I'd consider leeching off them financially much more indecent. Moving out actually helped their retirement funding and I assist them more than that.

 

[Dusk Soldier]

If you and your parents can get along and they're fine with it, I guess I don't necessarily hold it against someone who's thirty and still lives at home.

It doesn't seem like a very pleasant life to me personally, but you're not hurting me, so do whatever you want.

I do think that some people who choose to stay with their parents are hurting themselves in the long run. I see a bunch of people talking about not moving out because then they'd be broke, and they prefer to live a nice lifestyle at home until such a time as they get a degree-oriented job and can transition to a nice lifestyle on their own.

I think it's good for you to be broke as shit in your twenties, living on your own. I think it teaches you a lot of valuable lessons you're not likely to get anywhere else. I think you do yourself a disservice relying on someone else until you can step gently off their boat onto your own. You're willingly passing up important life skills and emotional tools you'll likely need later down the line.

But, again, it's not really my business to direct someone else's life.

I do agree that living on your own and learning how to rely on and support yourself are important life skills.

However financially, it's much smarter to be living with someone over living by yourself. You're literally cutting your living expenses in half by cohabiting. And by significantly more by living with your parents.

Independence is good, but so is learning how to live with and work with other people.

 

[Air]

Same, but I'm 25. That said, the goal is to be out within the next couple of years. I love living at home, but it's time.

 

[Gaiaknight]

I lived with family till i was 26 then me and my brother got rented a house together as 2 bachelors ready to have some fun but after 2 years hard times hit and forced us to move back with my mom and i have been with my mom almost 2 years and im working on saving money to move out by next summer. The 2 years i was on my own with my brother were some of the best time si have ever had in my adult life even if things were rough at times for rent and food.

 

[Shadybiz]

Nah.

Better to live at home and save up to buy rather than leave and spend money renting. If his parents are cool with him being at home, I don't see what the problem is.

The idea of having to move out to gain independence seems like an outdated and unreasonable one considering the realities of the job and housing market in most major urban areas.

Agreed. Nothing wrong with renting, especially earlier in life, but people will generally get into a pattern where they have a high rent and other debts, and are not able to save much for their own place and/or retirement. If you and your parents aren't at each others' throats, just take your time and save, not to mention pay down the the crushing student loans that many people have these days (myself included).

 

[SiDCrAzY]

I wonder how many parents of the Gaffers still living at home are secretly sick of them and want them to fuck off already. Yet they think everything is great and wonderful at home. Your parents might be too nice and not want to hurt your feelings.

 

[LosDaddie]

It's about being able to be naked with other people in your living room right?

(¬‿¬)

It's amazing when you and the GF have a day off together and do nothing but stay home and smash all day.

 

[andythinkpad]

I moved out in my third year of college as soon as I found a decent part time job (worked 15-20 hr a week in a gift shop)

But people who brag about having your own place, you are just slave of your own place. With rent and bills you have to pay every month, you can not stop working. That's just obligations that tie you down. Being able to pack up your stuff in a backpack and go to different places in a matter of days, that's freedom.

If I start out again from age 23 when I graduated from college, I would get an used GM work van and travel the country. Things you own in your place, are just things. They make you keep wanting more, therefore you have to keep working to get more things.

I downsized my wardrobe from a giant closet to just 3 drawers of performance hiking clothing recently. I love it.

 

[xxracerxx]

I moved out in my third year of college as soon as I found a decent part time job (worked 15-20 hr a week in a gift shop)

But people who brag about having your own place, you are just slave of your own place. With rent and bills you have to pay every month, you can not stop working. That's just obligations that tie you down. Being able to pack up your stuff in a backpack and go to different places in a matter of days, that's freedom.

If I start out again from age 23 when I graduated from college, I would get an used GM work van and travel the country. Things you own in your place, are just things. They make you keep wanting more, therefore you have to keep working to get more things.

I downsized my wardrobe from a giant closet to just 3 drawers of performance hiking clothing recently. I love it.

Your poor parents. They suffer so.

 

[victreeb3l]

I take care of my mom and little brother. I dont make enough money yet to give my family a good life and move out comfortably myself. I have it pretty good and aside from a few instances, I'm comfortable at home. It does get awkward when it comes to girls but the girls I date usually have their own place so its all good. Even though I pay all the bills, it doesnt feel like its MY place, but I'm fine with that.

If I can get a decent raise this year, I'll probably move out. I've been saving up and I dont think I'll feel comfortable until I have at least 12 months salary saved up after paying the first / last / deposit. NYC isnt exactly the most affordable place and who knows when shit can happen.

I've seen a lot of my friends move out before they were financially ready to. They had to deal with a lot of crappy roommates, eating subpar food, not being able to do fun things often, etc. I like being able to buy stuff when I want, or travel someplace if I feel like it. I like my standard of living and I'd like to keep that.

 

[Vossler]

Move out. Learn to live independently. Spend excessively, then realize why. Having a job is part of growing up - pays for your decisions.

 

[yogloo]

My father is getting old, 73, and needs assistance so I moved back to my home town last year to help him. I work and do all the cleaning (he has five cats), cooking, and errands, I also plan to go back to school next year. He lost half a leg due to diabetes/gangrene, is half blind, had two brain aneurysms, and has titanium knees... so he can't do too much on his own. He's had a rough life but he's very positive and I don't want him in a home, my great-grand mother died in one from mistreatment. I plan to get a house I can renovate so he has his own area for ease of access and independence.

You are the mvp. If there are more people like you, this world would be a much better place.

 

[CrocMother]

I feel privileged to be able to move out and be selfish on my own.

My parents are financially secure and healthy, allowing me to live a bohemian lifestyle on the other side of the continent. I'm also lucky to healthy and able-bodied so that I can support myself.

 

[AlimNassor]

I wonder how many parents of the Gaffers still living at home are secretly sick of them and want them to fuck off already. Yet they think everything is great and wonderful at home. Your parents might be too nice and not want to hurt your feelings.

I'm sure she does and I feel the same way. But we're both retail slaves doomed to poverty for the shifty choices we made in life.

 

[FLAguy954]

Fuck that OP.

I'm 24 but I am in the process of finishing up my LPN program. When I graduate, I'll be making x6 what I'm making now. Since I have no kids or car payments, I could see myself moving out just under a year after graduation (even if my parents ask me to help them out with some bills, I will have more than enough to move out before summer 2017).

It's also fucking with my casual dating life so moving out is something I'm definitely looking forward to.

 

[finalflame]

Moved out the summer before college and only go back to visit. I love my parents, but fuck living at home.

You don't know it yet OP, but you need to move out. It's the best thing you can possibly do. Find some roommates on Craigslist.