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[Leona Lewis]

#CruzSexScandal is already trending nationwide

 

[Koomaster]

5 different people being willing to sleep with Ted Cruz is the craziest national enquirer story yet

 

[BreezyLimbo]

Trump has to make a statement since it's his spokesman.

If Trump was able to get her to admit it..oh man. Cruz would be sunk

 

[injurai]

Can't Stump The Trump

 

[stupei]

This actually makes the Bad Lip Reading video about Cruz kind of tragic.

Spoiler

One of the big jokes at the end is Heidi revealing to Ted that she's been cheating on him for years.

 

[Mii]

This has so much more meaning now.

Prophetic.

 

[Alandrus Sun]

Can't Stump The Trump

*airhorn*

 

[Beer Monkey]

Yes they have had scoops on major stories before, that's what happens when you pay for tip offs. but have you ever seen a cover of the NE much less what is inside? Its pure fiction. Sorry, their accuracy rate, even when looking exclusively at affair stories, is probably less than 1%.

The minor stories don't cost them millions in libel suits.

The bigger the story, the more it is vetted.

This is literally as big as it gets.

 

[Ghost is Bad]

the real story is how ted cruz, the guy whose face looks like someone baked a bunch of play-doh together with ground pork, become xxpussyslayerxx69

 

[Makai]

If Trump was able to get her to admit it..oh man. Cruz would be sunk

Holy shittttt. Do it Trump.

 

[Triplicates]

#pleasurecruz #tedscruz

 

[Makai]

Trump spilled the beans. But I feel like the beans will spillover onto himself.

 

[i_am_ben]

I fucked Ted

lol

 

[theignoramus]

#Cruzsexscandal trending on twitter.

 

[Rafa=FedKilla]

#CruzSexScandal is already trending nationwide

Cuz we've been working on it since 9 central time to get it done. Can't believe Lyin' Ted screwed those women. An inspiration to GAFers everywhere.

 

[Bronx-Man]

Look at this face right here.

I simply refuse to believe under any circumstances that five women all looked at this face and thought to themselves, "Yeah, I'm gonna let this guy put his penis inside me."

 

[dr3upmushroom]

Men let this be a lesson. It is never free especially if you are married. It will always Catch up with you. I don't get it they are cool with it when it is going down then sell him out like it is nothing.

This sounds sexist breh.

 

[titiklabingapat]

Why would you even want to run for President if you have this in your baggage. The Edwards affair should have keyed everyone in that this stuff will come out if you're aiming that high.

When you firmly believe that God is on your side, all bets are off.

 

[Sectorseven]

Cruz brought piss to a shit fight.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

I have to imagine that even for the National Inquirer, they must have SOMETHING to go off of to bring this against somebody so high profile right now, otherwise they risk getting Gawker'd.

 

[Rafa=FedKilla]

Also, Ted Cruz's SuperPac transferred half a mil to Carly's SuperPac last summer, and the FEC investigated. The third woman was Carly's Campaing Manager.

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN

 

[Makai]

#IFuckedTed

 

[TrumanBurbank]

Look at this face right here.

I simply refuse to believe under any circumstances that five women all looked at this face and thought to themselves, "Yeah, I'm gonna let this guy put his penis inside me."

Sleeping their way to the top bro.

Not surprising that women use sex to get ahead in life.

 

[Mii]

Also, Ted Cruz's SuperPac transferred half a mil to Carly's SuperPac last summer, and the FEC investigated. The third woman was Carly's Campaing Manager.

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN

Oh snap. This is colossal.

 

[Knuckle Sandwich]

I believe this %100. Dude is slimy scum.

 

[A Link to the Past]

Yes they have had scoops on major stories before, that's what happens when you pay for tip offs. but have you ever seen a cover of the NE much less what is inside? Its pure fiction. Sorry, their accuracy rate, even when looking exclusively at affair stories, is probably less than 1%.

Honestly, I don't care either way. Cruz either is a hypocritical, cheating scumbag, or he's a scumbag whose done enough that he deserves to have a fake story ruin his career.

 

[Gouty]

Pretty typical of this site. Have any of you nerds ever been offered a piece of strange? I'd venture not, because if you had you'd know it's completely impossible to turn down. It goes completely against the male biology. We were designed to spread our seed to as many hosts that will have us. We are meant to lay pipe and women love us for it. If you'd have been in Ted's shoes you'd have done it too. Hypocrites.



I am 100% joking fuck you

 

[enzo_gt]

Man, this truly is the most entertaining election cycle of all time.

GOP begrudgingly puts all of their chips on Cruz, only for him to self-destruct.

 

[injurai]

This sounds sexist breh.

How is that sexist?

 

[Ashodin]

I heard the guy that broke this story is the one who broke the John Edwards story too. WELP

 

[The Technomancer]

Man, this truly is the most entertaining election cycle of all time.

GOP begrudgingly puts all of their chips on Cruz, only for him to self-destruct.

.

 

[keeblerdrow]

ted cruz would never have been satisfied with destroying the lives of only 5 innocent people

 

[The Kree]

#IFuckedTed

Please get this trending somehow.

 

[watershed]

The minor stories don't cost them millions in libel suits.

The bigger the story, the more it is vetted.

This is literally as big as it gets.

In the US? Libel suits aren't really a thing. Much harder to win and less pro-plaintiff than in Europe.

 

[johnsmith]

Why did a Ted Cruz super PAC give $500,000 to Carly Fiorina’s?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news.../?postshare=9641458877974512&tid=ss_tw-bottom

Now we know.

 

[Makai]

Please get this trending somehow.

#TedFuckedMe might be more accurate.

 

[cirrhosis]

I simply refuse to believe under any circumstances that five women all looked at this face and thought to themselves, "Yeah, I'm gonna let this guy put his penis inside me."

i can believe it

the beauty is in his eyes, they look real sensual. filled with red hot emotion and whispering sweet nothings. i can almost imagine what he's thinking

 

[Schnauzer]

#IFuckedTed

Let me know when Trump gets ahold of that.

 

[najehe]

National Enquirer...I mean...they also said Wacko Jacko was having an affair with Elvis' alien-clone hybrid.

You say that like that it was not true... Elvis alien-clone hybrids are real. Believe.

 

[vatstep]

#TedFuckedMe might be more accurate.

I Fucked Ted is a cultural reference (no spoilers)

 

[Ashodin]

Why did a Ted Cruz super PAC give $500,000 to Carly Fiorina’s?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news.../?postshare=9641458877974512&tid=ss_tw-bottom

Now we know.

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

THE FUCKERY IS LIT

 

[neonglow]

One of Cruz's super PAC gave $500k to Carla Fiorina's Super PAC run by his mistress, Sarah Isgur Flores. This sounds like hush money being paid out.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news.../?postshare=9641458877974512&tid=ss_tw-bottom

 

[freenudemacusers]

Maybe he has a monster cock

 

[Ninja Scooter]

Why did a Ted Cruz super PAC give $500,000 to Carly Fiorina’s?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news.../?postshare=9641458877974512&tid=ss_tw-bottom

Now we know.

One of Cruz's super PAC gave $500k to Carla Fiorina's Super PAC run by his mistres, Sarah Isgur Flores. This sounds like hush money being paid out.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news.../?postshare=9641458877974512&tid=ss_tw-bottom

 

[Makai]

I Fucked Ted is a cultural reference (no spoilers)

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[DirtyManos]

I mean they have to have SOMETHING to back this up right??

A claim like this, Cruz could have enough reason to sue for damages since it'll obviously affect his candidacy?

Sheeeeeeeiiiit, can't wait to see where this goes!

 

[The Technomancer]

One of Cruz's super PAC gave $500k to Carla Fiorina's Super PAC run by his mistress, Sarah Isgur Flores. This sounds like hush money being paid out.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news.../?postshare=9641458877974512&tid=ss_tw-bottom

Oh shit

maybe this is legit

 

[injurai]

Maybe he has a monster cock

I thought girls didn't care about penis length, it was just disgusting obsession of male insecurity that men bullishly propagate through their patriarchy.

 

[valkillmore]

We are in the future

 

[kess]

Come on Katrina, we want to know if you swapped tonsil stones and the particulars of Cruz's member